PART ONE h – the Party

  "Wizzy? You, your Army buddies. You want girls without… lets call it experience. Girls that aren't… worldly. But, don't you like it, when the girl's good in bed?"

  "Well…"

  "Uh huh. You can't have it both ways. There's no such thing as a… virgin porn queen. Hurry is sitting there, being a bad girl right now, and loving it. The outfit, showing her goods off like I do. Like in that video at the buffet. Its just not fair…"

  He asked her what wasn't fair.

  "She's pying me right now, and you love her for doing it. And me? I'm just the slut. Wizzy? I didn't make the rules of the game you got caught pying in high school. I never did that. Not once. So, if you hate those girls for running you like that? You should. Wizzy? I know, I'm a slut. Because I don't lie about it. All these… respectable girls, running around campus? Crock of shit, Wizzy. They do what I do, and they do it every week, not every month like I do. And behind their boyfriend's back. Me? I don't sneak. I don't lie. I don't even want presents, and dinners. Now you tell me, how am I the slut, and they're the respectable girls. I get one dick for every four they take, and I don't work a guy for a single dime, like they do."

  "Lightning… I…"

  "You know why Hurry wanted my py book? She wanted to move on you. Close the deal. These days, with all those other girls out there, you gotta move quick. I didn't make these rules, Wizzy. Maybe I'd like to… move slow. Take my time to find him. Just the right guy. Then, take some time to… develop him. Make sure. Then? Yeah… helicopter spins."

  "Light, honey… so… do that!"

  "You can't, Wizzy. I know, its the right thing to do. It looks great on paper. But, you can't do that. Not in real life. While you spend your time looking and shopping. Talking, going out for coffee. Then dating and moving slow. All the other girls? Pffft. They'll let you find him, develop him. Then poach his ass off you, have fun with him, and drop him and move on to next week's dick."

  "I'm sorry, Light. You're very honest, and… that should count for something. I'm sorry it doesn't. The problem with honesty? It usually costs you. It rarely rewards you. Not the same way. The reward? Is… you feel good about yourself. And, you know not to be jealous of someone else, for getting ahead, while being dishonest."

  "Well. That's me, Wizzy. I'm honest about it. I get kicked around for it, too. I'm not a whore. And I'm not for sale, damn it. My mom, she tried to sell me. I'm not a piece of meat at the supermarket, Wizzy."

  I looked up at him. She wasn't sniffling and crying, far from it. She talks pin and open about stuff, without the heightened emotions you might expect. Its not normal. She should be showing emotions right now. Angry, or… sad. Nothing. If she hasn't been hurt bad, damaged in some way? Monkeys can fly out of my ass right now. And I don't hear any scary music, and I don't see any monkeys, and I sure don't hear any fpping wings.

  She had her arm around him. Her cheek on the front of his shoulder, practically on his chest. Talking at the water, if not for us being here with her. She can't see me. I talked up at him, with my eyes. Do you see this, do you hear it? I could read the concern on his face, and the puzzle too. He couldn't crack this nut any more than I could. If I was the den mother, then what was he? Den father, I guess. He was four years older then I was, after all. Maybe she would eventually respond to the strong silent type. Who knows. He tried.

  "Little Lightning?"

  "Yeah, Wizzy."

  "I meant what I said earlier tonight. You're not some stupid girl jock. Oh, they're out there. I've met them. But, you're not one of them. And you're very honest, Light. You don't lie. You don't sugarcoat things. My own grandma? She used to say, that some people were… on the mind, on the lips. They sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but… they're always open and honest. They tell the truth, even when the truth hurts. And that's rare."

  "Doesn't do me very much good. Does it."

  "Light? I didn't exactly enjoy my childhood very much. My parents were great, but. I just didn't fit in anywhere. And yeah, being a true blue, dyed in the wool… spastic geek? Might not have helped much. But… it's me. The real me. I'm like you, in a way. I'm not what people expect, and I'm not what they want. But, I'm open, and I'm honest about it. Yeah. I could easily do what other guys do. But, I don't want what they have."

  "Wizzy? Can I throw a ref's fg on the py? Or… I don't wanna…"

  "No, Light. Go right ahead. On your mind? On your lips."

  "You weren't open and honest, were you. I don't think so. You sneaked, and lied, and hid. From what you really are. That's just how I see it. Call me a foul mouthed slut if you want."

  "When… did I lie to you, honey?"

  "You lied to everybody, Wiz. You're really this… big tough… fighting coach, military police dude. Girls love that. And you took it, and you hid it. Like, you were ashamed of it, or something."

  Wow. That stopped him dead in his tracks. She'd have had less effect on him, if she'd have kicked him in the nuts. Just like the drunken kid she dropped with one of her golden feet and then worked him over until he just id there like a worn out soccer ball. He exhaled slowly.

  "I didn't exactly lie about it, Light. I just didn't feel a need to tell everyone. I'm here, to get my degrees. To work on me, and what I want. And… I don't feel like I… lied, exactly. The guy you girls saw around campus? That's the real me, honey. That's what I was like when I was young. Before… well, before the world got a hold of me. Hurry here? She liked that guy. I wanted someone I can just be myself with."

  "I hear you, Wizzy. But… there's more fgs on the py, you know."

  "Go on then. Its on your mind. Let it be on your lips. No one's listening to us. I promise you. I'll be honest with you."

  "Oh, Hurry liked you. She was… intrigued. Fascinated. But, she held back. Until she got a tiny glimpse of your… you know. Your other side. The side you hid. The side you're ashamed of. Oh, then? That's what pushed her over the edge. Then, she had to have you. She's not that different from the other girls that way. Girls? Like tough guys. We can't help it. We're made that way."

  "Hmm."

  "I'm not done. You said on my mind, on my lips."

  "I did."

  "Just because no one asked you, doesn't mean you didn't lie. I think they call it a lie by omission. You tell just enough of the truth to make it look good, then you just casually avoid that one, crucial bit of information. Its smart, its sly. And its very sneaky. I'm supposed to be ashamed of what I am? Well, I'm not. But you were. Why."

  "Oh, you ask the tough ones. Well, here goes. Do you want me to tell you, that when I was little, I didn't sit around, wishing I was… some big, strong, tough guy? I think its a very popur fantasy for young boys in my situation. Gee, if only I was a tough guy? Then, everything would be just swell. And, I ran away. To the service. I was a computer programmer, Light. Not… some guy jumping out of airpnes, with a knife in his teeth. But, I lived with the MP's. Don't know why. But, that's where the universe put me. They… took me in."

  "Just like I took Hurry in. Taught her how to be a bad girl. And enjoy it. They did that for you. How can people compin, when you grant them their wish like a fairy godmother, Wiz. You two? You're more complicated than I am, when you get right down to it. Don't you think?"

  "You're probably right. But, you ever hear the words… be careful what you wish for. Because you just might get it. Yeah. It happened slowly, but it really didn't take that long. Next thing I knew? I woke up one day, and… wow. And you're right about one thing. I was ashamed of it, towards the end."

  "Why would you be ashamed."

  "Well. No matter how tough or how weak you might be? Only a complete fool goes out looking for trouble. Plenty enough trouble happens on its own, without looking for more. But, some people's kids."

  "Like the assholes on parade tonight."

  "Yes. Some guy, just like him. Some big guy. He was doing everything he could do, I guess. To start trouble. He finally got around to starting on me. I ignored him. He finally kept putting his hands on me. Told him what he wanted to hear, told him to quit. He insisted. It doesn't really matter what I did, but. Its called a pass. I passed him, and I bounced his head off the wood bar. I tried to avoid it, I had every right to do what I did, and… there was blood everywhere. They had to clean the bar up, like someone spilled a pitcher of beer, but… it wasn't beer. It sprayed on people sitting close to us, at the bar. It was on me, on my shirt. And my hands? Jesus, my hands were… I looked like I just murdered someone. He's fine, he's out cold, and he needed a bunch of stitches. But…"

  "But what. You didn't do anything wrong. Why were you ashamed."

  "I wasn't. Its not a big deal to me, I practiced all the time, with the MP's. I was just going to the bathroom, you know. Maybe get some warm water on a paper towel, see if I can save my shirt. Wash my hands off, mainly. That's when it happened."

  "His buddies?"

  "No. His buddies, either didn't like him as much as he thought they did, or… they just cleared out. No, I'm just walking to the bathroom, and… people were, you know. Backing up, like Moses parting the red sea. Guys are smiling at me. Which I thought was… weird. Then it hit me. Everyone was nervous. Scared. Then, there was this couple. Some guy and his wife or girlfriend. Regur people that lived there, not service people. And, the guy is smiling, and backing up. And… his wife? The look on her face, just. Sure, she was nervous. Which I can appreciate. But… that was only half of what was on her face. She was… disgusted. It was the look you give someone that walks into the room, covered in shit. I was, something disgusting. Foul. Unclean. I mean, I was the good guy, he was the bad guy. But, not to her. To her? She was disgusted, and I was no better than him, just in a different way. I was some kind of monster."

  "Then you changed, I guess."

  "I had a… mentor. There's guys that taught us to fight, and this guy… he taught them. He spent time with me. He, I don't know. He took the old me, and this… new me? And he put them together. I… was expected to re enlist again. This time? As an MP, not a computer programmer. He helped me decide, what the real me truly was. I was a spastic geek, that the guys toughened up, and taught to fight. He spent a lot of time with me, like a dad would. And… what I really wanted, what I really needed? Was to go to school. Get my degrees. And be who I was really meant to be. Toot."

  "And people say I'm complicated. I'm not. You spend four years, learning to fight. Like you sat around and wished for your whole life as a kid. Then you get it handed to you… and you just refuse to ever fight again? Jesus. You wasted your time. That's like learning to throat a cock, then refusing to give a blowjob, ever. Why waste your time…"

  "That's what I love about you, Little Lightning. You have such a delicate way of putting things. But… yes? And no. Trust me, I'll fight. But… not because some knuckle dragging troglodyte had one too many beers, and he's trying to look like a big man. He has to put his hands on me. Or on someone I care about. Or… lets say I'm at work. And I have to deal with him every day of my life. Then? I'll deal with it. Get it out of the way. And we can move on. And, I don't. How do I expin this. I don't… get anything out of it, when I fight. Even if I win. I don't feel like a big man. I don't feel… anything, really. I'm not all worked up. I don't run around hooting and hollering, if I win. Its just… like going to take a shit. Its not one of the fun parts of life, but, you just wipe your ass and move on."

  "So. You're ashamed of me that I'm a slut, and now you're ashamed of me, that I got pissed and kicked that kid around. Even though he deserved it."

  "No, Light. I'm not ashamed of you. Not one bit. Never think that, not for one second. I owe you a lot. You told Hurry something, and it led to her… deciding she had to have me. I wouldn't have her, if it wasn't for you. Then, you… spent a couple weeks, coaching her on your pybook. And, I loved it. I was on cloud nine, believe me. And, you got mad because someone was giving me the shits, and you went and kicked the shit out of him. Literally, I might add. I'm actually very touched. I'm not the least little bit ashamed of you. And."

  "And… ?"

  "And. Um. If there was no… Hurry finding me. And you had found me, instead? I wouldn't be ashamed of you. I wouldn't sneak and hide, that you were giving me… well, I can only imagine what you do. I mean, based on how much fun Hurry here is? I'm left to only imagine how good the girl that mentored her on being a bad girl really is. And you wouldn't have been looking for anything from me. You just… give, and refuse to take. And, you can ask Hurry here, if I'm lying. I… had these… you know, girls on calendars."

  "She told me. You have a soccer girl on one. You made her feel pretty. Not a lot of guys really like girls like me and her. We're too tall, I guess. Or, they think they're doing us a favor, for overlooking us being in shape. Its bullshit."

  "Well, yeah. She's my… soccer girl from the one calendar. She's… also? My… rodeo or farm girl, from a different calendar. But you? You're on one of my calendars too, little one. You can ask her about it, I'm not making it up. I could have just as easily fell in love with you, as I did with Hurry, if things turned out different. You? Are gorgeous, just like she is. And, in your own way? You're… just as honest as she is, too."

  "Then… why did you ask Little Miss Moody out, too."

  "Well. To tell you the truth. Going on looks? There's nothing wrong with her. But, after that? The rest of the package, moves her 1 to 10 number, up and down. She, well to be honest? Loses about 5 points for being… whatever the hell she is. And you, just like my Hurry sitting on the other side of me? You two move up the scale, not down, the more I get to know about you."

  "Wow. Thanks, Wizzy. You really are sweet, like Hurry says."

  "Yeah. I hope your happy. I'm probably in all kinds of bad trouble now, with my girlfriend, telling you how wonderful I think you are. Now she's gonna kick my ass. Thanks."

  "Don't you dare, Hurry. He made me feel good. Is he in trouble?"

  "No dear, he's not in any trouble."

  "You promise."

  "Yes. I promise."

  "Thanks. I can't believe, you think you could have fallen in love with me. Just like you did Hurry. That's very sweet."

  "Okay. Now, try to quit saying things like that, before I get Hurricane-d for what comes out of your mouth, and I have to pick up your tab."

  "All right. Pity though."

  "What's a pity, Light."

  "Me and Right? We're best friends. We're room mates, too. Best friends that room together? They share. Happens all the time, you know. My big sister isn't like that, though. And I owe her, big time. Its not just I don't want thrown around the living room, like Miss Moody, either. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror, if I did that to the only person in my corner, the whole year I've been here. I wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for her. It'd have been fun though. Not the getting thrown around the living room part, I don't mean. The sharing. That? Would have been fun. But oh well. Will you do me a favor?"

  "If I don't get thrown around the living room like Miss Moody, for this favor? I'll see what I can do."

  "Maybe… talk to him. For me. See if… I don't know."

  "Talk to who, Lightning."

  "Army boy. Hurry was so happy with you. You said he's nice. She was telling me to try having a nice guy for a boyfriend. I tried. I really did. I might have slept with a few guys, sure. I fshed my tits a few times, yeah. But, why does that matter so much. Jesus. He's ashamed of me. Makes me feel like dirt."

  "I'll see him at the gym. I'll see what's going on."

  "You'll tell me the truth? Don't sugarcoat it. Promise me."

  "No sugar."

  "Thanks."

  "Will you do something for me? And for Hurry, and really for yourself."

  "Sure. Name it. I'll do anything you two want me to do. I love you guys."

  "One day. Maybe… you can tell me, her. One of us, both of us. What happened, all of it. When you were younger. She wants to help you, and she goes to school for it. If there's anyone you can trust, and just wants to help you? Its her."

  She sighed.

  "When its time? I will."

  "How do you know when its time, Light."

  "I'll just know, I guess. How do you know, when its time to fight?"

  "Oh. I have rules, guidelines. That I'm supposed to follow. I do. I's have to be dotted, T's have to be crossed. Its the st option, not the first one."

  "Okay. When there's no other option, I guess I will. I don't wanna spend the rest of my life, like this."

  "Like what."

  "Hating myself. Feeling like dirt. Its not fun. Did you like it?"

  "Did I like what, dear."

  "That night in that bar in Texas. That girl. Looking at you. Disgusted."

  "No. I didn't like it at all. It changed my life."

  "Because, I try not to think about it, and it sort of works, but. Sometimes the more you try to not think about something, the more it makes you think about it. If I'm making any sense. And, you said you felt… dirty. Unclean. That's how… it… makes me feel. You said it yourself. You didn't do anything wrong, but it still made you feel… dirty. That's how I feel. Like I didn't do anything wrong. And I was still made to feel… like dirt. Its horrible."

  "What happened was horrible? Or, you mean its horrible to feel like that, and hate yourself."

  "Both."

  I tried to change the subject. He had inadvertently brought me one step closer to the harsh or horrible truth, whatever it really was. I was once again surprised. He was surprisingly agile and emotionally intuitive, he felt and thought and plotted on his feet, trying to open her up. I guess he was fighting metaphorically. She was blocking his shots he was probing his opponent out with, circling around her, looking for a way in to take her out and down. She was tough and experienced, he was up against a well matched opponent. Maybe she lost the match, 10 to 9. Hardly what one would call a "victory". The crowd would say the fighters went even, and the ref could have called it wrong. Hell, some could cim she won.

  If she wasn't blubbering and crying, having both of us hold her while she sobbed out her story… there was no knockout. If she wasn't tearing up, with some composure. Then dabbing her eyes and going one step at a time, ice broke and moving slow… then there was no TKO. If there was no screaming and crying, no tearing up, just a numb and factual description of what accurately was done to her? Because he wore her down and frustrated her, and she finally just spit it out… without that? There was no going to the judges, and they called it unanimously in his favor.

  So I tried to change the subject. One of Lightning's favorite things, seems to be dressing in expensive and somewhat provocative clothes. Its a safe subject. You can't be hurt when you're touching home base pying tag. You're safe from the monster lurking under the bed or in the dark closet, as long as you're under the covers. We were pying tag with her; talking about sexy clothes was her fingers resting on home base. Nah nah, you didn't get me.

  "Well, Light. It's what, almost a year now for us. We finally went around full circle, me and you."

  "How's that."

  She's still talking matter of fact to the water.

  "Hmm. You? Are dressed like the good girl, compared to me right now. I dressed like the bad girl for once. So. How was it, being the good girl. If you liked it? We'll get you some real jeans. T shirts. Maybe some fnnel work shirts."

  She giggled.

  "What's so funny abut that? Honey. She's your… calendar pole vaulter. Would you have still wanted to… ask her out for coffee twenty times in a row? If she was dressed like I dressed? Hmm?"

  He winked at me, so as not to risk pissing his Mistress Vaquera off. We were on complete normal time, out around people in public. But Vaquera hadn't left officially from her little "visit". She wasn't officially "gone", until she said so. I'm leaving now. Not bad, you're coming along nicely. Keep it up, little boy. Here's what I want you to work on with your mommy. So, he winked.

  "Honey. Don't take this the wrong way. But… if Lightning would have been dressed like you dress? Acted like you? I might have been living in her room, instead of yours."

  He smoothed her hair, and worked a couple gentle strokes into a gentle head pat. Like I guess he would a puppy he was keeping calm, practicing as a nice guy. Showing his mad skills off, to prove to his nice girl that had chosen him, hey look, I have the right stuff. I can hold and calm the puppy. Bet I can do it with a real baby. I got this, you made the right choice, hun.

  A lot of guys trying that? It would have come off as creepy. He made it… nice. She didn't jump or squirm. She didn't hear scary music. She made a contented little "coo" sound and nestled in. She had daddy issues, and openly admitted it. I was her den mother, her big sister. She was safe in her den father's strong arms. She felt warm and safe and protected. Maybe he was the big brother she never had, and here was the foster brother.

  It worked, whatever he had. His… whatever it is that some guys have. That male aura. Me and Little Lightning know all these guys, most of them. A mix of all the university athletes are present. This is the Vilge, this side of it. A certain number of these rows of luxury townhouses are dedicated to the starting athletes. A little "perk" to hand candy out to starting pyers, that perform for the program. The days of handing out cars and money to stars at big schools are gone. It was cracked down on and policed aggressively. Room and board, though… part of the standard schorship deal. One school, gave the starting athletes their own dorm hall. Another? Gave them the new one. Then the next, gave them two, and private rooms. This was one of the biggest Universities in our conference, they had deep pockets and were trying to revitalize their years ago top pce. Hey, luxury room and board.

  So… we know most of these guys. And the hooting and hollering, the smacking girls on the asses? That's at the other parties we passed up. Lida has a "no asshole parade" rule. This kid earlier? Slipped through the cracks. Now, unspoken but just as firm a rule? He won't be back. If he ever shows up? He'll automatically be made to feel… well, very uncomfortable. The boys will stand around, and eye him up. He'll get nervous, like he should, and turn tail and leave.

  But, these guys also know what they can get away with. With me and Lightning. They all know us. So they know our rules, what's acceptable. They really should be, on a normal night? Hey Hurry, how you been working those big legs out, huh? Yeah, your room mates said you don't have a thigh-master in your room. So, what's your secret for those strong thighs, huh? Its attention. Its not mean. I smile, and I say something witty or smart-ass. They ugh and show me their palms. Its banter.

  And normal with Lightning? Oh, gee. Hey Light, we need someone to do body shots off of. We got a sturdier drink table this time. How about it? Sure guys, but… this time? You guys better be nice. Anything, hun. Yeah… st time? I got all… sticky. You have to promise me? You'll lick. Clean up your mess. And yeah, they promise. They line up, do shots off her ft tummy, and she giggles and squeals, says it tickles when they lick up any spills or slops.

  Somehow she's in charge doing it. No one would dare try to grab her wrists and ankles, make her keep doing it after she says the show's over, and she gets up. Freshman boys, all big and muscur but surprisingly shy and unsure to approach her, and lick her bellybutton if they slop some. She's witty about it. Come on, I'll be gentle with you… and she talks him through it, and gently guides his head, to get her tummy licks in.

  We should be getting a string of invites to py, well, some game that has the word kiss in it. I routinely say no, thanks for the offer, boys. Little Lightning? Hmm. I'm gonna py some card game, and the boys take turns kissing me? Gee.

  We got none of this tonight. From the moment we set foot in the hot tub with him, and each sat on an arm? We suddenly went off limits. I really should have gotten some hooting and a string of comments about suddenly dressing like this. Just the one, and it was couched as the politest thing ever. Hurry? You look very pretty. Lightning should be getting a string of innuendo and banter. Not one word, not one butt sp.

  I should get my one butt sp, a very gentle one. By someone I know that its a joke. They get my finger in their face, they get sweetly threatened. The other guys hoot and tease him for getting lectured about it. They set the "new guy" up to get spped by me. Lightning? Well, its like licking her bellybutton clean after, well… sometimes I suspect the guys might "spill" their tequi shot on purpose. They can get another shot of tequi all night, this is their chance to lick her tummy suggestively while everyone makes the "woo woo" noise, and she ughs.

  I get treated, more or less, like one of the guys. Simir to how the hometown farm boys I rode dirt bikes and sat around campfires with acted towards me. Those guys spped my butt, about as often as they spped each other's. Guy jokes only. They swat the next guys butt for a ugh, and someone teases them. Hey! You didn't say "no homo" quick enough! We need a judges ruling, on your man card now! I got my butt spped once, and the guy winked and said "no homo". I was marked as an honorary guy. You're one of us, you're a full member.

  No, he has his very male aura and presence. I'm not used to it, hell I'm not used to very many guy's presence in the first pce to know better or worse. I can gauge from what I see, though. This is like some new farm boy staying on his uncle's farm for the summer, happened a lot. They don't know if this guy might be hell in a bottle or not, best not to pop the cork with the bottle upside down. If the new kid throws the big bales around with ease all day, you wonder what he might be capable of. And sometimes, bigger farm boys tell stories. About that one time, they zigged when they should have zagged.

  That's how he's getting treated. Everyone knows who "Toot" is. If you haven't been risking academic probation and losing your schorship and team spot? You know a team mate who has. You get sent to Toot. You get on his tutoring schedule, its uncanny. And the gossip mill grinds on. Everyone knows some football pyer abused him socially, but stopped short of putting his hands on him. Everyone knows the quiet computer and mathematics guy let it all go. They know the coach heard about it, and shit a nuclear bomb, was how Styles put it.

  He was assuaging Toot. Hey, that won't go on. And he was polite about it.

  He was also saving face. Engaging in guy diplomacy. The girls all gossiped about the wonder of seeing… was that Toot out there? Fighting with the fresh meat Army boys? Will wonders never cease. Those that came out to enjoy the show? Holy shit, he's the goddamn instructor. Bubbly the wicked wrestler? Wasn't being nice to the tutor that helped him, he was hanging out with another tough guy. The girls all thought it was cute, seeing the male athletes do their "oh shit" gnces as it got around. The boys put a couple of shows on for the girls.

  It reminded me of one of the smaller out of town farm boys came in one summer. When it came out, that he was hell on wheels. Turned out he was a wrestler. He had that magical ability to ride the big farm boys and tire them out. He called it "riding the bull", and he wore the bull out. He was nice about it, just guy fun wrestling to see who got the st beer. He never teased his new friends, and they were… a lot more polite to him. He had to initiate jokes about himself, to get them going again, teasing around the campfire. Guy diplomacy.

  Athletes are all streetwise, even the dumb jocks. A football pyer went out of his way to give him a social wedgie. The others there, his buddies he was showing off for? Pointed and ughed. They all wear the same jerseys. This, was an outsider. Oh shit. He might have it in for all of us. They felt him out carefully.

  Bubbly was a sort of regur sized guy, but in the wrestler fashion. He took his shirt off, and even guys whistled low. He wasn't ripped, he was positively shredded. He was one of the big recruits to his wrestling team. Some kid that was big news in his town, and his county. Even made a spsh going to states. Bubbly was also open and honest about being a fighter. He had posters up, that he wanted to fight one day on TV. So when he was with Toot somewhere, and he told some jock to knock it off, they did. Then? They politely teased Bubbly ter. Aw, sorry I made fun of your boyfriend's dress, Bubbly. He looks really cute in it. Bubbly was a nice kid. Ha ha, you really shouldn't be an asshole, guys.

  Everyone thought Bubbly was just being nice to the Toot. He had saved another athlete from disappearing on AP, academic probation. Now? Like I said, all jocks are streetwise, they can add two and two and come up with 4, quick. "Toot" was teaching the Army guys who were open about it, to fight. Bubbly wasn't protecting his tutor from them; he had been protecting them from spping a bigger bull on the ass than they should.

  Hey, I'm a girl but I grew up on a farm. Some bulls? Walk around and really wear it. Yeah, they know you can zap them or crack them. They eye you up though, and they're not nervous doing it. You come in my yard? You better have food. It better be regur feeding time. I better hear the voice of the farmhand that took the st stone out of my hoof wedged up in there and I can't get it out. Moving them is a delicate procedure. Its a herd animal, startle them and they move away and keep moving. Don't get too close, but don't hang back too far, either. They get bored walking away from the herd startling commotion? Well, be far enough back you got time to swing a gate to pen yourself off. And if they get piss-y? They can go right through that gate and kill you, they just don't know it.

  There's other bulls, though. Bottle babies. You bring those big "wearing it" bulls in, for big genetics, to make more money off meat feeders. More pounds, a certain price per pound? More money each, it pays off to buy them, then sell them down the line and get your money back. You're renting the bull's cock, basically.

  Bottle babies are different. Big bull, nice genetics, but… he's raised with love and sweetness. You coo to him when you approach, and he comes trotting over. He sniffs for his handful of candy, his apple core. Or did mommy bring me a whole apple this time, what a delight. Thanks, mommy.

  You either have not enough milk, or you have too much. You give a bottle baby, a big bottle of milk. In a big bottle, like he got as a calf. He won't hurt his mommy, she gives him sweet milk. You become the mommy, and he likes his bottle. He's safe. When he lumbers up behind you and nudges you? He does it as gently as a dairy cow does it to her calf. You raise your voice the slightest? Sorry mommy, I thought you might have an apple for me, just checking. They dip their head low, and wag slowly. A calf's apology to an adult cow they inadvertently offended.

  You coo and shush the bottle baby, and he walks in one step at a time, and you scratch that big, wet nose. He sniffs your hand to see you really don't have a treat. Its okay mommy, I love you anyways, you're swell. They turn sideways, slowly. They want you to scratch them a little. Bottle babies are great for training kids to get comfortable around big animals. The best of them, you see pictures of toddlers hanging off the horns, or riding along on the back, while someone snaps a picture.

  Wiz is a bull, it turns out. But, he's a bottle baby. He doesn't wear it around the yard. Funny thing about a sweet bottle baby following you around while doing chores? No other animal will approach you. Not so much as a goat or a chicken. Even the wear it bulls will follow, but not come in. A big bull is following his mommy, his special milk and treat and grooming machine around. Best not to uncork that bottle turned up side down.

  Some bottle babies? Treat the other bulls very differently than they treat you. Only a drunk retard, would think it was fun to fuck with a big bottle baby, to show off how tough and unafraid they were. Because if a bottle baby turns on you? You probably fucking deserved it. And its not the same thing as a regur wearing it bull, oh no. Those wear it bulls, are just being like boisterous farm boys, jostling each other practically for fun. Its what they do. And yeah, they'll do it to a human, too. They're really not trying to kill you, they're just butting heads a few times, and pushing their fnk on you, to show they're bigger and can move you.

  You piss a bottle baby off, though. Oh my. You? Have broken the social contract. Regur bulls that wear it some? Get regurly zapped or snapped so they respect humans. Not bottle babies. Humans, are nothing to have any fear of. Humans? Are sweet to me, I love them. Now here you come? Being mean and torturing me? It freaks them out, like a mother beating her toddler with her fists. They might run and hide, or… if you give them no escape, and they snap. Look the fuck out. They aren't trained to respect humans. People don't close gates on them. No, you shock a bottle baby for fun in a closed pen, he's liable to hide and bellow, but… when he snaps? He can come straight through gates and fences. Buckboards explode, and you risk broken limbs as much from shit flying around as you do from him. And he's not coming to butt heads and push a little. He's coming to kill you.

  A bull gets scared enough, that his adrenaline system activates? He can't calm down, for minutes. Like a grizzly bear.

  A bottle baby, a big one with great size genetics, is a rare prize. He follows you and protects you from all possible harm. For treats, for soft words, for a few scratches and shooing flies off him where he can't reach, past halfway up his back. You have one, if you're buying strange dairy so he can service them. If you need your regur dairy serviced? To avoid inbred, you need outsider bulls. You buy one, you keep him, you sell him on. Get another.

  Dairy that knows you and is friendly, is great. Keep the sweet dairy cows, sell the assholes and the lunatics. Friendly dairy is a blessing. We had both. A friendly dairy herd, and a bottle baby we raised and got extra lucky with. His name was, somewhat appropriately, Baby. Big scary looking baby though. He was the friendly bull to his dairy herd. He serviced them, and he was gentle when not pying leapfrog. He was as friendly as he could be, to the mother's calves.

  We also had the wear it bulls, the other kind. For the meat program. That herd wasn't really dairy, they were to make big feeders, that sell for money every year. We swap bulls in and out to keep them going. Every bull can "handle" his own little herd, you have this many girls? Divide out, you need this many bulls to keep things going.

  I'm looking over at Little Lightning, she's all contented. She's going around a party with a bottle baby bull. No other animal will approach. Guy diplomacy. Styles could easily have stopped in the math b on his short summer hours. It was as much to engage in guy diplomacy, as to actually ask what he wanted to ask. My Hurry, you look very pretty in your new dress. And not a word to Lightning.

  Lida had been the girl to gently rub the boy's noses in their piss on the carpet. The guys were talking about the new Toot, that everyone had been introduced to recently. Lida? Made it extra cute.

  "Yeah guys. I understand. Your buddy and some of his buddies? Made a mistake. He seems really nice about the whole thing too, and that's a big relief, huh?"

  They admitted it, sure, it worked out.

  "You boys all ready for the scary version?"

  Sure, what had they missed she picked up on. She drew them the scary picture.

  "Bubbly? None of you guys would so much as say boo to him, and everybody knows it. Because, not only was Bubbly a holy terror on the mat for his team, what else was the friendly Bubbly, hmm?"

  Well, he wanted to be a cage fighter or something. Everyone knew that. He trained for it, he was using his wrestling prowess to get his way into that world.

  "That's right. Toot? I saw him pying with the Army boys. He's their coach. Bubbly? Wanted to become a cage fighter. Sweet little Toot? Was probably showing him some moves. Giving his buddy that was nice to him? A few pointers. They used to go on long runs together. Mr. Bubbly? Was very polite. Toot? Would have liked that."

  You could see it on their faces. The bad dream? She turned it into a nightmare. Scary version. So yeah, there really should be more football pyers around this party. There's not. They really should be bantering with me and particurly Little Lightning. Hey, you never know when Light's up for some fun. I'm never open for business, but Lightning? Hey, once a month the red light is glowing on the front porch. Lightning sees this too. He knows it as well. I caught his polite comments. He referred to us both as his "girlfriends" out with him. Everyone knows the rules, especially streetwise jocks. You only act up with the wild girl, when her big brother or her father isn't around.

  Lightning has obvious daddy issues. She's found a substitute daddy. She could easily avoid this situation. Sit on the other side of the hot tub, stand up and shake her tits for some whistles and cps. No. She asked permission to sit on his other side, if I wouldn't be offended. I'm enjoying the novelty of wearing bad girl clothes. She's enjoying a simir but opposite thing. She's seeing what its like to sit inside the aura, the warm happy bubble. I'm off limits, and everyone here knows it. Lightning is putting herself off limits, for one night to see what that's like.

  She made sure she put that vibe out. Bantering jokes about giving him the bite marks, saying he had size. She bit him to make him go slow, so it didn't hurt. Made jokes that we were sharing him. She's enjoying the novelty of walking around in his warm safe bubble with me. I know he likes Lightning physically. She's his pole vaulter, one of his calendar girls. He enjoyed her morning leg show the most. She does have those long, ripped legs.

  Now, earlier tonight. He was mildly impressed. She wasn't half as silly as normal. Bantering with Tardfoot, over sixth grade fun taunts. She had a string of surprisingly insightful comments. She called him on lying and being ashamed of himself, and he admitted she was right. She provided him with a surprisingly shocking metaphor, that he knew what it was like to feel ashamed of yourself, and to beat yourself up and think you were dirt. When you knew better, that you did nothing wrong, but you felt dirty and ashamed anyways. She shocked him, like in the movies when the normally dippy character has to make that one surprisingly intelligent and intuitive observation, then go back to being the silly clown character again.

  In between some little hair strokes and head pats, he kissed the top of her head, after winking at Vaquera. I smiled and nodded, its fine. Hell, I was trying to engineer a "safe" girl sharing fun situation, to reward him with. To reward myself, too. It is surprisingly fun to py bad girl. No wonder all the girls do it. Then, Little Lightning isn't out of surprisingly deep and insightful conversation and observations, it would seem.

  "Hurry?"

  "Hmm."

  "What's it like?"

  "What's… what like, hun."

  "Being… you know. Good. How does a good girl flirt."

  "Oh. Here? Or back at high school."

  "High school I guess. I know you here. Didn't you like any of those… farm boys you rode dirt bikes with?"

  "I was off limits, Light. I was actually, one of the boys. They treated me? Like… their sister."

  "You… didn't like any of them?"

  "Yeah. I kissed one or two, but… it was weird. When two guy friends, were pushing and shoving, over who got to sit next to me at the campfire? It was way too weird. Like… kissing your brother's friends, I guess. No one's comfortable. Not you, not the boys. I tried the girl's club out, Light. They disgusted me. I went back to my boy's club, no girls allowed."

  "What am I then? Your token slut friend, I guess."

  "No, Light. You're not. I'm… there's a girls only clubhouse, and I turned in my membership card and left. I'm admitting to you, that I kind of peek through the hole now and then, see what I'm missing. I guess, you're that hole I peek through. To see."

  "Wow. I'm a hole. Great choice of words, future therapist."

  We all giggled, it was funny.