FaultyHyperdrive

  Ihe yurt was a retly started celebration. Cheering and g and gratutions for Red and Brigga were so loud that from my position just outside the entrance I could see people elsewhere turning to see what was going on. Wen rushed past me with a grin, yelling for Mahrk and Divh and saying something about needing to prepare a feast. I got the feeling the entire district was about to have a huge party.

  Stepping inside, I saw my guests. Flyt was there with Ephi sittio her, the two holding hands in a way that spoke volumes. More iingly, it seemed both had decided to join our ways while here, as they were pletely nude. Flyt, curiously enough, looked utterly at ease. Ephi seemed a bit self-scious, but my Skills did their thing and I got a strong feeling that it was because she was worried people would see a mahey looked at her.

  But whatever Dekarru had been doing, she looked very cute and girly. Not quite the same as in her dream, but some nice curve to her hips and a pair of small but very noticeable breasts on her slender chest. She was quite pretty to be ho.

  They hadn’t noticed me as they were fag away from the entrance, so I got to announce myself. “Ephi! Flyt! What a lovely surprise to see two more beautiful women waiting for me when I get home,” I called out with a grin. Flyt smirked and looked me over in an almost intimidating predataze while Ephi blushed so hard I swear she was going to ighese two were very different, but I was also forted by the ge in the feeling I got from Flyt. She was nothing like the half broken women with little hope left that we escorted here.

  Flyt grinned. “Lovely timing it seems, I think there’s gonna be a party.”

  Ephi bit her lip for a moment, pulling her legs together in what I imagine she thought was a subtle way to hide her crotch. “Sh-should we go? I don’t want to impose.”

  I made my way over and sat o the neted woman and kissed her cheek softly. “Nonsehe more, the merrier! I’d never ask such lovely women to leave.”

  She fought back a smile. “I guess we stay?”

  Flyt leaned over and kissed her other cheek. “You are so easy Ephi.”

  I smiled, “So have you picked a new name?”

  Ephi nodded. “Ephirin. It’s not actually reted to my old name, despite sounding somewhat simir. Plus Flyt and Re still call me Ephi.”

  I gnced down at their hands, finger iwined. “Things going well between you two?”

  Ephi blushed hard again and Flyt ughed. “Yeah, wheold me she was a girl I immediately kissed her. I’d liked Ephi since we were kids but, I’ve never been into boys. It made my feelings plicated. This? This unplicated things a lot, very quickly.” She said as she scooted over to Ephi and nuzzled into her ne a way that I mao read as slightly possessive. It reminded me of a cat rubbing its fa someoo mark them.

  I got the impression that she was c up lingering fear with aggressive affe, but maybe she hat for now. I could always step in if things turoxic. At that moment it hit me that I’d started to feel like that was my responsibility. Like it was my duty to help people with their emotional problems. That could also turn toxic, I’d o keep a for it. No, I’d o talk to my tribe about it. Not keeping things to myself again.

  “Um.. wh-where should I sit?” I turned my head to the void saw Azuriel standing in pce, fidgeting nervously. I’d nearly fotten she was here somehow.

  Before I could respond, Carmil flowed from me and formed her body. She smiled at the angel, a smile that was not without threat. “e over here dear, I will get you settled in.”

  Flyt and Ephi turned and their eyes went wide. I buried my ughter at this and spoke. “Ephi, Flyt, this is Azuriel, she’ll be my guest for a while as we figure some things out.”

  The angel’s eyes were on my sanguine lover, her expression just short of abject terror as she reized what she was looking at. Carmil’s grin was somehow simultaneously terrifying aremely sexy. “As you see, she will not be causing anyone any problems. Will you, dear?” Azuriel shook her head immediately at Carmil’s question. “See? She is going to be a good girl.”

  The pulse of blush across her features was subdued, but still very present. She hesitated but stepped over to Carmil who led her to a nearby cushion to sit on. Carmil herself settled io the celestial woman and leaned against her. I could see her whispering into Azuriel’s ear but couldn’t make out what was being said. Whatever it was seemed to calm the ahough, because her shoulders lowered and she took a slow breath.

  Redagga and Briggavel had been muttering to each other quietly, happily. Their arms were ed around one another and they shared the occasional small, tender kiss as tears streamed down their faces. The look at the angel subdued that just a bit, but there was so much joy betweehat I’m not sure I would have noticed the drop if not for my Skills.

  The two of them moved closer to the rest of us and Red looked at Azuriel. “So I hear you’re not a piece of shit.”

  The aiffened and turowards the oran. “I… I just want to do the right thing.” She mao get out in a squeaking voice.

  “And the right thing was killing us?” Unlike Brigga, there was the heat of simmering anger ione.

  Azuriel took a short sharp breath, trying and failing to calm down. “You were, you were supposed to be dangerous. A threat. To everything.” She lost her ability to keep looking at Red as she talked, her sight locked on the cushion directly in front of where she was sitting.

  “Do you still think we are?” Red shifted to face the angel more as she asked, I could see the muscles in her arms tense.

  Azuriel opened her mouth but closed it again quickly. There was a dangerous silen the air for a full minute before she swallowed and answered. “I don’t know. The Hierophant says Esme will… be bad for the world.”

  I spoke before Red could respond. “The Hierophant isn’t perfect.” The look of absolute horror on the angel’s fae so much more than it should have. I read volumes in every inch of her face, every tense of her muscles, the g of her fingers arouhumbs. Pages of her life spread out before me with each tiail. I felt a spike of fear at how deep I could see into her in that moment, I shouldn’t know this much. I shouldn’t be able to peel someone open with a look and spread their story out to examine.

  I didn’t uand, none of my Skills should allow me to see her g in an alley over the death of her pet, they couldn’t afford to keep it fed and she’d tried to give it some of her own food. It didn’t react well to something in it and spent hours dying in her arms. How? How did I know this?

  Then I saw the thread. Something that oed in the Dream and I could see it clearly in the waking world, shining silver and blue and linking the angel ahe threads reveal their secrets to me.

  I forced the nausea I felt away a Azuriel’s eyes again. “I know how you lived, how your people live, how could he be perfed allow that?”

  “But we-” I held up a hand to cut her protest short.

  “No. You said it yourself, you didn’t do anything but exist. An unwilling reminder of their imperfe. The Hierophant is the same. Imperfect while g otherwise.” I stared into her eyes, gleaming blue like the o with the slightest glow behind them. “Azuriel. You had no power over the details of your birth. To be punished for something outside of your trol is…” I trailed off as the world around me blurred.

  I felt a flood of pain. Not of the body, but of the heart. It was overwhelming. I felt myself tip over, my ko my chest and my arms so tight around them that I hurt where the metal of my prosthetic dug into my skin. I cried even before the memories tore my mind open.

  The stove was old, unsafe, especially for a nine year old. But it didn’t matter, I was hungry and mom had been staring at the ceiling and ughing since her friend brought her medie, and she was never able to hear me like that. So I made mac & cheese. The dires were hard to read, I was not doing good in school. But I figured it out and only burned my hand o wasn’t too bad, I even stopped myself from screaming. If I made too muoise, the upstairs neighbors might e che us again and that would make mom angry. I ed my hand in an old torn towel, the teacher would probably ask me about it tomorrow but I had time to think up a story. For now I was happy, I could finally feed myself. I wouldn’t go to bed hungry anymore.

  The priest was niough, but old and got tired too easy. Tendri and I ended up looking after a bunch of the younger kids ourselves when we went outside to pn because he couldn’t keep up. He said a new priest would e to help in a few weeks, so it wasn’t too bad. Mostly we had been worried what happened year when we left, so the news had been a relief. Tendri sat on a step holding one of the tiny ones, I think he was just over a year old. He was asleep and she was smiling down at him. I could see the warmth and love in her in that moment. But the sight of it made guilt tear through me me. She would be a wonderful mother one day, something I could never give her. I hated myself for wanting something that would take that away from her. But I hated myself for a lot, so it was just another reason on the pile.

  Di the preacher’s house, what a god damned mess. We were here to celebrate mom’s new job, not that I believed she’d keep it long, she never did. But she would pretend to be doier long enough that the preacher would vouch for her to social services and they’d fuck off and leave me with her again. It leasant’, in the way of forced smiles and words we all knew were lies. But that night it was worse. The prayer at dinner mentiohe poor fused sinners falling to the evils of homosexuality and I khe real reason we were there. Hopefully they would at least pretend to be talking about vague ‘them’ rather than tell me I was evil directly. I hated that damown and the assholes that lived in it. Backwards hate-m cousinfucker bastards, the lot of them. And I was stuck there for ahree years.

  Captain Bernson’s hand on my thigh made my skin crawl but it kept me safe. He wouldn’t let ‘his girl’ go get killed and he had me marked as his personal guard so I was o him at all times. It didn’t do me any favors with the other troops but I’d rather be hated than dead. There was only one person in the world who’s opinion I cared about and I robably never going to see her again. Maybe if I lived long enough… no, not even then. It struck me suddenly, why did I bother? What was the purpose for even trying to survive? I had nothi and just went from one nightmare to the in this pletely pointless life. Theransport rocked hard. Guore through the air outside and someone screamed that there was an ambush. The rear of the transport opened and everyo Bernson and I poured out to fight. He opened his mouth to say something but the sound of tearial silenced him, as did the gaping hole a on had torn through his chest. I had no time to think before more shells stud paied in my leg and head. Minutes passed and I couldn’t move, the sound of guapered off, repced by the moans and screams of the dying. But eventually that eoo. I was alohe only survivor. How typical, I’d just realized there was no point in living only to be the only o dead here. I couldn’t move much, I think something hit my head pretty bad. But if I could get to the cab I could radio for help. If I could get to the cab. Too tough to die when I should have. I turowards the first aid kit just before the warmth poured into me. Thehi wrong, like I wasn’t alone, like I was being torn apart inside, like I didn’t fit in my own skin. Thehi—

  Betty didn’t make it. She got the flu just before Thanksgiving, and didn’t recover. I cried for a week, she was all I had left. I never should have e to New York. I thought a ge of location would save me, but here it is, twenty below with a foot of powder around my cardboard home and the heat vent wasn’t doing enough. I could feel the warmth bleeding away from me. I almost bemoaned how unfair it all was, but holy I didn’t care anymore. I had nothing, no one, no home, no friends, nothing but pai. I felt my sciousness failing me, I wasn’t tired, it was just that cold. I’d heard ohat hypothermia happens fast, faster than you’d think. Maybe that would be one final small mercy. I opened my eyes and saw a rocky shore, the geer of a long, wide river sparkling with the refle of millions of stars I couldn’t see when I looked up. I turo see a man sitting on a bench, older, wearing a robe and holding an oar. “Danielle Carpenter, you prefer Dani, right?” He said with a sad smile. I cried, and made a friend.

  The yurt came bay awareness slowly, the hands holding me and the p my head rested on f me so much more than I would have expected. I squeezed Luv’s leg gently.

  “Y-you got more mem-memories?” She asked quietly. I nodded. “Bad ones?” I hesitated before I nodded again. I looked around, we were alohey wao g-give you some privacy. Carmil stayed with Azuriel. I promised I’d t-take g-g-, take good care of you.” She was worried, she hadn’t struggled with words that bad in a while.

  “I’m okay.” I spoke, and I knew what was i. “No, no I’m not actually okay, but I’m okay. Tomorrow. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, I promise. Today should be a celebration and I’m not taking that away from Red and Brigga.”

  Luvetra nodded and leaned down to kiss me softly. “Do you want to r-rest?”

  I hesitated, I didn’t know how much to say. But I made a promise. “I o sleep, I have to talk to my Goddess.”

  “That serious?” I nodded slowly. “I’ll s-stay.” I started to say something but she gave me a look. I smiled and nodded again. She y o me, pulling the b over us, holding me as I sank towards sleep.

  I was… I knew now, I knew what they did. Charon was right, I was angry. I had every fug right to be. I would try and listen, to keep the knowledge that they were trying to help in the forefront of my mind. But I wasn’t sure I could.