Thomas woke up in his bed, drenched in cold sweat. He immediately sat down and looked in the corner of his room, but the prince with long blonde hair wasn’t there. He was alone.

  He sighed in relief and fell back on the bed. He had been having nightmares ever since that day, especially when Bael wasn’t here. Thomas was granted a new room, as a resident of the castle, and was more or less accepted as a confidant of the king, a companion to occupy his days. He didn’t have a precise role, he would simply spend time with Bael when he was avaible, and the rest of the day he stayed in his room. This schedule was both easy and excruciating. Thomas had never realized that fronting this long could be exhausting. Before, he would control Mariane’s body for a few hours and go back to the inner world, but now he was alone. And he needed to be present each second.

  The first part of the day was fairly easy, but past noon he was always exhausted and overwhelmed. In the inner world there weren’t any concepts of senses, but reality was full of smells, textures, tastes, and having them everyday at every given moment was nauseating.

  The smell of his sweat reached his nostrils, and he greeted his teeth to prevent his stomach from turning. He had puked so much recently that his throat was burning.

  -Brrr Brrr

  He turned to his side and took his phone that was resting on the bedside table.

  [Bael : Are you alright ? I heard screaming]

  Thomas smiled and tapped a response.

  [Me : Just a nightmare, don’t worry]

  He put the phone next to him and looked at the ceiling. Despite all the hardships he was enduring, it was worth it. He had his own body, his own objectives and goals, his own life with the people he wanted at his side. It was the best feeling he had ever experienced.

  -Knock Knock

  The door opened slowly, and a tanned head with messy red hair appeared. Bael looked tired, still half asleep.

  “You know, there’s a reason I asked you to live in the room next to mine. Call me if you have a nightmare.”

  Thomas shook his head.

  “I don’t want to bother you.”

  “What bother ? I have nothing but time. Taking a few hours out of my thousands of years of existence is nothing.”

  The king walked to the bed and Thomas folded his wings to make space for him. Bael id on top of the bed sheets, creating some imaginary distance between them.

  “It’s my fault if you are having nightmares. I should have put a magic barrier on the castle.”

  “And how would the courtiers enter, huh ? Stop saying nonsense.”

  They were both staring at each other’s faces in silence. The sound of the king breathing was somehow reassuring, and Thomas felt tired again.

  “You don’t have to stay.”

  “I know, but I will. Close your eyes.”

  The slim man obeyed, but he was still shaking slightly, so Bael held his hand. And they both fell asleep next to each other.

  ***

  A few hours ter, Thomas was sitting at his room’s desk, studying a few books about Hell’s history that Bael had lended him. The king wasn’t here, he had a few matters to settle at school, and there was no way that Thomas would accompany him, considering everything that happened and the fact that Mariane and the princes would be in the same building.

  Thomas, annoyed by his long hair, had tied it in a messy updo using a pen, and a few strands were poking his nose.

  ‘Should I cut them ? No, it’s the body Bael has made for me. I should treasure it.’

  He put the strands behind his ear and focused on the book again. At that moment, someone knocked.

  -Knock Knock

  Thomas tensed up.

  “Who is it ?”

  “Baam. I’m bringing lunch.”

  The bck haired man rexed slightly and got up to open the door with a serious face.

  “Thank you.”

  The aide looked at him with a smile.

  “You don’t seem to like me.”

  “No, I’m like this with everyone. Don’t let it bother you.”

  Thomas took the food cart from him. As usual, it was full of so many dishes that he could never finish everything by himself. It was Bael’s order, to make sure he would put on some weight and get healthy quickly. When they were together, it was alright because the king ate a lot, but for Thomas alone, it was way too much.

  “He’s really going too far. It’s a waste to prepare so much.”

  He was grumbling, but his eyes had gotten softer while thinking about Bael. Baam didn’t miss this, and his smile got deeper.

  “You are fascinating. You always act nicely with the young master and obey him, but you don’t try to win me over, or anyone else for that matter. It would be the perfect way for you to be accepted, but you don’t do it. Why is that ?”

  Thomas’ face got stiff again, gring at the aide.

  “Do I need to win you over ? I’m just a resident of the castle, why should I do that ?”

  Baam ughed and waved his hand.

  “That’s how you see yourself ? Oh my, the young master has his work cut out for him !”

  Of course, the slim man wasn’t dumb or particurly dense, he knew exactly what the aide was talking about, but shook his head anyway.

  “We are just close, it’s not as if anything will happen. He is a king and I’m… Something… I’m happy he has an interest in me, but I don’t think it will st. People refer to me as his confidant or his pymate, and I think that’s exactly what I am.”

  Baam lost his smile, looking deep in Thomas’ eyes.

  ‘It’s not that he doesn’t understand the situation. I thought he was dense, or that he did it on purpose, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. Can’t he see that the king wouldn’t miss a state meeting for a simple confidant ? Everytime Thomas is feeling bad, the young master runs to him, neglecting his duties. Is it inexperience ?’

  He cleared his throat and asked nonchantly :

  “Did you have someone close to you before, excluding Mariane and her personalities ?”

  Thomas was surprised by the question, but replied anyway.

  “No. If we don’t count the therapist, everytime I was fronting I would emute Mariane, so I don’t even think someone knew that I existed.”

  ‘So it’s that. He is unsure because he can’t compare this retionship to anything else, he doesn’t have a reference. If so, I can forgive him.’

  Baam smiled again, a bit more unsettlingly this time.

  ‘The young master likes the pure and clueless ones, huh ? Should I let them figure it out, or should I help a bit ? If they could create a son, it would be a hundred times better than those idiotic princes.’

  He thought about it for a bit, but ultimately decided to wait and see for now. It wouldn’t be too te to act ter if their retionship didn’t progress further.

  “Have a good meal, I’ll come pick up the cart ter. Even if you don’t eat everything, try to take a bite out of every pte.”

  With that, Baam bowed and left. Thomas took the food inside and sat at the tea table, taking out his phone. It had become a habit to take a picture of every dish and send a review to Bael. He wanted to know what Thomas liked and disliked, so the meals were always varied, with different ingredients and cooking techniques.

  ‘It must be so much work for the kitchen staff… He only makes use of his status for that kind of useless thing. Looking at his actions, I would never guess he is a king.’

  He ughed softly and picked up his fork, reaching for the first dish, a strange getinous blob with bck pieces inside. The food in Hell was always peculiar. Thomas tasted it, but immediately felt nauseous, so he ran to his private bathroom to puke in the toilets.

  ‘I hate eating, but it’s somewhat more bearable when I am with Bael.’

  He sat on the bathroom floor and looked at the ceiling for a while.

  ‘I’m really hopeless. I can’t do anything by myself.’

  Running the short distance from the table to the toilets was enough to make his legs scream in displeasure, and puking was as painful as if his stomach was being torn apart. His muscles were protesting against every effort, and eating was dreadful, not only because of the overwhelming taste, but also because he couldn’t digest such a rge amount of food. It was as if this newly obtained body was hating that it was alive.

  ‘Well, I guess it really does match my soul. I feel guilty towards Bael, but being alive really is shitty. He is the only reason I hold on.’

  If he was dead, he wouldn’t spend time with the king anymore, and it was the only thing that kept him going. Sighing in frustration, he got up, his face contorted in pain, and limped towards the table. He took a picture of the meal with a single bite missing, and sent a text to Bael.

  [Me : [Picture] The taste is strong, but I like it. Not in huge quantities, though.]

  ‘It should be enough so that he doesn’t get suspicious. If he knows that I puked again, he’ll run here to heal me with magic like st time.’

  The king was very sweet with Thomas, but had a tendency to overreact to everything concerning him. If he continued to miss his meetings, people would start to get angry, so Thomas had started to hide certain things, such as his hatred for food.

  ‘I already can’t sleep, if I can’t eat either, I’ll just be a sick puppy he has to look after. I would hate that. I want to stand proudly by his side, not be a weight on his shoulders.’

  Thomas sighed and took out the next dish. The smell was enough to make him feel nauseous again, but he pushed through with tears in his eyes and took a bite.