“Who the hell is that fat guy!?”

  “Hmm…” Laura approaches the screen, “With that loincloth and giant axe, doesn’t he look like the Barbarian you told us?”

  “No, that’s not Barbarian! Barbarian is a girl! A girl! She doesn’t look anything like that ugly fatso!”

  “Maybe you mistook them for another team?”

  Ricard shakes his head, adamant. “No way. Barbarian herself sent me a few messages thanking me for all the help and information I had given them, and asking for a fight once we met. She talked to me as if I were a traitor who sold his team, secretly working behind the scenes to help them…”

  Laura looks at him suspiciously. “Aren’t you a traitor? You told them everything you knew about us, didn’t you? Fufufu.”

  “You know this isn’t how it went!” Ricard kicks a nearby The Black Horde bug, sending it flying to the other side of the room. “I’d never betray my team!”

  “If you say so,” Laura shrugs, “Anyway. If that guy isn’t Barbarian, then who is he? He looks like a Barbarian.”

  “I don’t know…”

  Ricard scratches his head, trying to find a logical explanation.

  “The other guy is Rogue; his attire is unmistakable. As for the other guy… It makes no sense! There’s no way Barbarian would miss this match, not after provoking me via messages. If it were another player, I’d think they had swapped Champions. But Barbarian loves her Champion too much.”

  Listening to Ricard, Laura grins. “You know an awful lot about this Barbarian girl, don’t you? Could it be there’s something between you two? Fufufu.”

  He ignores Laura’s comment and continues with his rambling. “Barbarian would never pick another Champion, unless…”

  “Unless?”

  Laura’s question makes Ricard shake, his imagination running wild. Refusing to reveal his thoughts, he turns around and prepares to leave the room, leaving Laura behind.

  “...I don’t want to think about it. We’ll find out soon anyway.”

  “Fine by me,” Laura says, playfully waving him off. “And don’t forget, avoid a direct fight. Our objective is to buy time, not kill them.”

  “I know, I know… I’m the one who proposed it.”

  A few hours earlier. Sword&Sorcery is planning the match against The League of Evil.

  Rogue, Druid, and Wizardess send awkward glances towards Barbarian. After a short and uncomfortable silence, it’s Wizardess who breaks the silence.

  “Regardless of how many times I see it, I won’t get used to it.”

  “Why?” Asks Barbarian, swinging her giant axe around. “Doesn’t this Champion fit my role? Hahaha!”

  Wizardess reluctantly nods her head, “It does. Your usual Champion is too cute for your battle style. But after knowing you for so long, it feels weird...” She shakes her head. “Anyway. Let’s talk about our next battle.”

  “Yeah! Let’s crush Baldy’s team! I’ll crush them under my fat belly, hahaha!”

  “...”

  Another awkward silence follows Barbarian’s comment, broken once more by Wizardess.

  “Khm! Thanks to our friend Baldy, we know a great deal about our opponents. I’m sure you can remember, but they’re the team that almost beat us in the previous tournament.”

  The other three nod in acknowledgement.

  “Of course, we remember. That was when we met Baldy! Baldy the traitor, our best friend and source of information, hahaha!”

  “Right.” Wizardess continues, ignoring Barbarian. “So, I’ve watched the replays from their last few matches, and it matches what Baldy told us. There are a few surprising elements, but nothing we can’t handle. I’ve come up with a few plans, but there’s always the risk that Mad Rat guy pulls something crazy, so I’d love for you, Barbarian, to stay back with me and defend our dun–”

  “I refuse.”

  Wizardess glares at Barbarian, who interrupted her, but before the situation escalates, Druid intervenes between the two.

  “Come on, Barbarian. Listen to her, she’s our leader. You can’t always do whatever you please.”

  “I’m not doing whatever I please!” She snaps. “I don’t like defending, and I’m not suited for it! I’m good at destroying things, not keeping them safe!”

  “Listen to Wizardess, Barbarian! If she says it, it’s because she has her reasons–”

  Barbarian points the axe’s head towards Druid.

  “I’m not doing it, and that’s final,” she says. “I’m more useful when attacking. Furthermore, I’ve already sent Baldy a challenge letter. I can’t go back on my word and stay back, now can I?”

  Druid looks at Rogue for help, but he just shakes his head, knowing it’s useless.

  “Haaa… Druid. Thanks, but I had expected this to happen…” Wizardess rubs her temples, frowning.

  “But…”

  “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

  Wizardess makes a gesture for Druid to stop arguing, and then her face suddenly turns serious. She looks at Barbarian.

  “It’s fine, you can invade their dungeon. But you must promise me this. You will follow my plan above all else. This, and follow the orders of whoever goes with you.”

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Without thinking it for even a second, Barbarian immediately nods her head.

  “Sure! I’ll do it! I’ll fight Baldy and follow the plan at the same time, hahaha!”

  Feeling a headache coming, Wizardess decides to move on to explaining her plans. They include everything from how to deal with the monsters and traps, as well as how to safely fight the opponents and how to counter any setback they might encounter.

  “And remember. They might pull off something crazy; the one most probable to do it being Mad Rat. Don’t allow him to do whatever he pleases, or we might lose, okay?”

  With those words, Wizardess finishes her explanation.

  Barbarian starts to swing her axe around, filled with excitement. “It’s time for some action, hahaha! I was itching for a fight with Baldy!”

  Wizardess shakes her head and sighs for the umpteenth time at Barbarian’s words.

  “Regardless of how many times I see it, it still feels weird…”

  “Weird how?” Asks Barbarian, prompting her three members to glare at her. “Hahaha, I’m kidding, kidding!”

  I look around, inspecting my surroundings as soon as the game teleports me into our opponent’s dungeon.

  “Hmm… Everything looks like in the replay.”

  No surprises here. Not yet, at least. It’s the same medieval-style village, the same plaza with the dungeon entrance camouflaged as one of the teleport gates, the same wood and stone building with the label ‘Adventurer’s Guild’, and the same streets bustling with humans.

  Puny, useless humans, going about their lives… Let’s crush them, shall we?

  “Buckle up, everyone! It’s time for some action! Fufufu! Hahaha!”

  “Yeah, yeah! Let’s give them hell!” Says Clara next to me, imitating a pirate for some reason I can’t, nor want to, understand.

  As soon as they notice us, all the surrounding humans turn hostile. A futile effort which ends with them being crushed under Abohemoth’s chubby feet. Today, there’s just Clara, me, and my Abohemoth here, but that’s plenty enough.

  Yeah, I know I have to think of a better name… But I’m too lazy, ok?

  Ricard and Laura asked me to think of a crazy plan, didn’t they? And I delivered.

  After all, what could be crazier than putting all our eggs in a single basket? A huge, monstrous, and unstoppable basket, almost the same size as the ‘Adventurer’s Guild’ building in front of us, at that? Hahaha!

  “Let’s go, my monster! To infinity, and beyond!”

  We lost the first match against Sword&Sorcery because the rules of that other tournament were too lenient. What’s up with the ‘you can attack and defend at the same time bullshit’?

  That allowed them to strategize and counter us perfectly! It was unfair!

  But not anymore. Thanks to the two dungeons being isolated from each other, now it’s impossible to adapt to sudden or unexpected changes in team composition. Even if Clara, I, and our strongest asset, the Abohemoth, are here and our dungeon is vulnerable, it doesn’t matter because they can’t do anything against it.

  Crazy plans and stupid decisions work best when there’s no way to adapt to them, hahaha!

  Crazy always wins!

  Like the sea waves crashing on a rock, the human waves fold under my monster’s strength. They try their best to stop us, only to be crushed into meat paste under the Abohemoth’s feet. Their puny attacks don’t do anything to my mount’s HP. Literally zero damage.

  Ah, man. How much I love the Trample and Shell innate skills.

  “Alright! Let’s sail to victory, yooo-hoho!”

  …Now I understand Clara’s unusual speech pattern. It’s because it’s fun to do it.

  Every time I detect a spellcaster or archer, I raise my guard. They’re the only ones who can overcome the height difference and target me directly.

  I allow them to increase in number, and then use Chain Lightning to deal with them.

  “Die, you weak garbage!”

  All useless humans should just disappear! What a waste of resources the whole race is!

  But instead of spreading and creating a massacre, the lightning jumps three times before it’s absorbed into a white crystal floating amidst the human crowd.

  “Tsk. As expected, they’re here.”

  Those damn Spell Jammers, or however they’re officially called…!

  Spell Jammers are special crystals that work against area-of-effect attacks or chain-style attacks like my Chain Lighting.

  They create a grid, and when a skill crosses the line between two Spell Jammers, it automatically stops expanding. Against chain-style skills, they instead work like lightning rods, acting like another unit that can be chained to, absorbing the attack and preventing it from expanding further – a perfectly accurate name against my Chain Lightning, if you think about it.

  As useful as they can be, they’re relatively expensive, so it isn’t something you usually see in PvP matches. But if your dungeon consists of hordes and hordes of weak monsters, not having them to stop area-of-effect skills would be stupid.

  We knew they were here before coming, thanks to the replays. They’re useless against my Abohemoth, but they’re still as annoying as they come.

  “Come on! I’m a horde-killer mage! What am I supposed to do against Spell Jammers!? It’s unfair! I want to fill a demand! I require a meeting with the manager!”

  I loudly ‘cry’, pretending to be upset about it. It is just an act, of course. An act to make our opponents lower their guard.

  Right then, Clara’s muffled voice reaches me.

  “Brother, I’m ready.”

  “Good,” I chuckle. “Your turn will come soon. I see our target already.”

  “Fufufu! Hahahaha! Yeeeees! Crush them! Crush them all! Crush these puny and weak humans, hahaha!”

  Druid and Wizardess watch the chaos unfold from atop a building’s roof.

  “Ummm…” Druid hesitates, “Did you… You know, did you expect this to happen?”

  Wizardess’ eyes waver as she watches the enormous shelled elephant stomp on the human horde as if they were ants. The wind comes with the cries of the dead and the rat-headed player’s laughter.

  “I didn’t…” She shakes her head. “Who could have expected them to bring their secret weapon to our dungeon?”

  Druid is surprised by her words. “I knew that guy was dangerous!” He says, pointing towards the rat-headed player. “Can we still win?”

  She thinks, a finger over her lips.

  “Yes, we can. I have a plan. I just need you to delay them while I prepare everything…”

  Mid-phrase, Wizardess stops talking. A sudden bad feeling makes her turn her head towards the grinning rat-headed player, just in time to see the man pull a lever next to a cannon-like device placed on top of the elephant’s turtle shell.

  “Ooooh, unexpected visitors!” He shouts, spit coming out of his mouth. “It’s time to throw the thing! One, two, and… TREE!”

  Instead of an explosion, they hear a ‘click’ sound. For some reason, even though there’s no explosion, smoke disperses through he air, and a spring platform pushes the cannon’s contents out.

  Something black. Something squirming. Something that’s making a girly shout.

  “Hyeeeeeaaaaah!”

  “W-what’s that… T-that thing!?”

  Druid panics, asking the always composed Wizardess for an answer. But Wizardess isn’t as composed as he thought.

  “T-that’s an enemy, you fool! Run!”

  Druid and Wizardess try to avoid the incoming ‘projectile’, but they’re too late to react. As if it were a cannonball, the black thing reaches them before they can find a place to hide.

  “Hyeeeeeaaaaah, hehehe! This is fun! Brother, you must throw me again after this match!”

  “Go and kill them, my living bullet! Fufufu! Hahahah!”

  “I got you, hehehe! Tentacleeeeeee～ Punch!!”