Alice stood at the bottom of the stairs. Naked. Unashamed. She walked two fingers up Zed’s chest.

  -So stud, she said. Now that we've thoroughly broken in your stairs, any thoughts on round two? Or did we actually drain you dry?

  -I was thinking of that outdoor fashion show, Zed said. But we certainly can't do that with the rain.

  Alice gnced at the window. Water streaked the gss.

  -So pn B, genius? Unless you intend for us to model wet t-shirts for an audience of one.

  She kicked a pair of panties out of her way.

  -I'm not getting dressed just to sit around looking pretty. Entertain us.

  -How about I run you a nice bubble bath upstairs?

  Alice raised a skeptical eyebrow.

  -A bubble bath? Trying to py the dashing host now?

  She gnced at Betty, who looked entirely too eager.

  -Fine. But if the water isn't scorching, I'm dumping it over your head.

  -Some like it hot, Zed chuckled.

  He helped her up. Alice brushed off her legs, refusing to cling.

  -Just don't think a little hot water gets you a backstage pass. You're still on cleanup duty for the stairs.

  She turned to go. Zed spped her ass. A sharp, wet sound.

  Alice yelped. She spun around, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits.

  -Watch the merchandise, asshole! Or you'll find out exactly how much hot water burns.

  She stormed up the stairs, flushed.

  Zed turned to Betty.

  -Yikes.

  Betty gripped his hand. She leaned into his side as they followed.

  -She's always so... spirited. I hope you're not really scared of her?

  -She scares me for a completely different reason, Zed said.

  Upstairs, the bathroom door was already shut. Steam billowed from the crack.

  Betty pushed the bedroom door open. She tugged Zed toward the bed.

  -I think she secretly wants an audience, Betty whispered.

  -I'd rather spend a little time with you, Zed said.

  He kissed her. Betty melted against him, molding perfectly to his frame.

  -I love that you chose me, she murmured against his mouth.

  -It's not a competition.

  Zed grabbed the remote. He turned on the TV. Betty curled up on his chest, tracing patterns on his skin.

  -It is to her, she sighed.

  They y in the quiet. The sound of running water muffled the world.

  -Everything feels so... quiet now. Like the storm finally died down.

  Zed looked at the window. The rain was fading. He wished he hadn't promised Alice not to check the weather app.

  The bathroom door burst open. Steam rolled out.

  Alice stood there. A towel wrapped precariously around her curves. She eyed the cozy couple on the bed with a sneer.

  -There you are, snuggling like lovebirds. Meanwhile, I nearly boiled myself alive trying to scrub the evidence of your debauchery off my skin.

  Zed scooted over. Making room.

  Alice crossed her arms tight.

  -Oh, how generous. The King and Queen of the stairs have graciously allotted me a sliver of the mattress. Pass.

  -The rain stopped, Zed said coolly.

  Alice whipped her head toward the window. She took in the silence.

  -So it has. Looks like your little trap has sprung free.

  She leaned against the wall. Suspicious.

  -What's the matter? Sad to see us go?

  -I already admitted I wanted you here.

  Alice ughed. Sharp. Cynical.

  -Wanting us here is easy. Keeping us here is the hard part.

  -I seem to have done pretty well so far. It's Sunday afternoon and you've been here since Friday, Zed noted with satisfaction.

  -Don't let it go to your head. We stay because it's amusing, not because you're a marvel of hospitality.

  -Am I still amusing you? Zed asked.

  Alice froze.

  -Barely, she muttered. You're like a stray cat that keeps bringing dead birds to my door. Gross, but weirdly persistent.

  -Feel free to leave anytime, Zed said, impatient.

  Alice stopped. Her smirk vanished.

  -Fine. Maybe I will.

  She spun on her heel. She marched toward the door. She grabbed the handle, rattling the frame.

  -Don't hold your fucking breath.

  -I like having you here, even when you're angry, Zed called out pyfully.

  Alice stopped. She stood there for a long moment. Shoulders heaving. She turned back. Relief and irritation on her face.

  -You're a glutton for punishment.

  -You're going to have to leave eventually, Zed said. Or someone's going to file a missing person's report.

  Just then, the doorbell rang. Aggressive. Relentless.

  Alice jumped.

  -Shit!

  She turned to Zed. Frantic hiss.

  -Who the hell is that? If you've got the police or a pissed-off girlfriend outside, I am throwing you under the bus in a nanosecond.

  -I don't know. My friends know to knock.

  Zed got up. He pulled on some pants. Betty scrambled up from the bed, clutching the sheet.

  -Hurry back, Zed...

  Zed went downstairs. He opened the door.

  A redhead stood there. Angry. Behind her stood a wall of meat in a polo shirt.

  -You abducted my sisters! the redhead yelled. She jabbed a finger into Zed’s chest.

  Alice appeared at the top of the stairs. Towel slipping. She peeked over the banister.

  -Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

  -Sorry, who are you? Zed asked.

  -I'm Deb. Alice and Betty are my sorority sisters. I tracked their phones here. The police wouldn't take a report for 48 hours and I couldn't wait any longer!

  Alice rolled her eyes so hard it looked painful.

  -Deb! You psychotic bitch! You tracked our phones? I explicitly turned off the location sharing!

  -And who's the goril behind you? Zed asked.

  Alice cackled from the nding.

  -That? That's just Chad Thundercock. Deb’s way of overcompensating.

  -I broke up with Chad, Deb decred. This is Jammer.

  -Jammer? Alice howled. Seriously?

  -My mom named my older brothers Gunner and Boomer, the giant expined. Dad thought Jammer went well next.

  Alice clutched her stomach with ughter.

  Zed turned to the redhead.

  -Well, as you can see Deb, Alice is quite alright. Though she called you a psycho bitch.

  -Oh shove it, Alice yelled down. Don't act like you didn't enjoy the show. And stay right there, Deb! Don't you dare let him in!

  -Yeah Deb, you're welcome to come in and check on them, Zed said. But Jammer stays outside.

  -I brought him for security!

  -Then he can watch the perimeter.

  Zed closed the door on Jammer’s face.

  Alice leaned over the railing. Satisfied smirk.

  -Nice trick. Now you've got a moat and a guard dog. Does this mean you're officially a fairy tale vilin?

  -Jammer would take a bullet for us, Zed ughed.

  -He looks like the type who'd jump in front of a bullet just to see if it would bounce off his protein shakes.

  Deb wasn't listening. She was inspecting the stairs. She pointed at the carpet.

  -These look like bodily fluids.

  Alice leaned over the banister.

  -Gold star for observation, little miss detective. It's either that, or I spilled a gallon of milk. Take your pick.

  -Do you need samples for comparison? Zed asked.

  Alice ughed. Delighted.

  -Oh, that is evil. Go on, Deb. Ask him for a swab.

  Zed stepped closer to Deb. He pyed with her hair.

  -Look at that, Alice whispered. The Rescue Mission is melting already.

  Deb reached out. Her hand moved toward Zed’s zipper.

  -This may be the source...

  Alice went rigid.

  -Whoa, back off!

  She smmed her hand on the banister.

  -Hands off, rescue squad.

  -Is that any way to talk to a sorority sister? Zed asked.

  Bedroom door opened. Betty emerged. Sleepy. Rubbing her eyes.

  -Wha...what's going on guys? Why are you all huddled down there?

  Alice shot Zed a gre.

  -Don't look at her. Keep your eyes on the redhead.