The next day was also a day off, so I timed my return home for the morning hours when Roman would most likely be there. My parents were at work. At the entrance, Roman’s worn-out white sneakers were neatly lined up.

  Perhaps she noticed the sound of the door opening, because soon I heard the hurried thump of footsteps running down from her room upstairs. When Roman saw me standing in the living room, her expression immediately shifted to one on the verge of tears.

  “Avery…”

  Her voice was barely more than a whisper as she called my name, and before I could react, she ran toward me and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

  “I was so worried… you just disappeared like that. You won’t disappear again, right?”

  I didn’t answer that question. I only spoke one truth.

  “…I saw it.”

  Roman’s gaze met mine. Tears shimmered in those deep, sepia-colored eyes.

  “After the py… I saw you kissing someone in the hallway. I pyed Catherine for you. But what you were watching… wasn’t me.”

  “Avery… I watched every scene you were in. You were incredible. You’re my proud little sister. The kiss… it was just her pressing herself on me…”

  I could tell she was lying from the restless flicker in her eyes. Besides, she hadn’t simply let it happen back then; she had held the other girl tightly.

  “You don’t have to lie anymore.”

  The words, heated and trembling, escaped my lips with a sigh.

  "Roman...Je t'aime. I always have. From the moment I met you. I don't believe I could ever love anyone the way I love you."

  I looked into my sister’s eyes once more. Her sepia-colored gaze reflected me, wavering—confused, sorrowful.

  “Avery, you’re my precious little sister. I can’t love you the way you love me…”

  “Roman, tell me the truth!!”

  My shout caught in Roman’s sorrowful eyes. She was desperately holding back words, suppressing every emotion on the verge of spilling out. She was looking at me like that—then and now, she hasn’t changed. The truth belongs only to her. It will never reach me. That fact gnaws at my heart, drives me to madness, twisting every thought and feeling, deepening my obsession with her.

  A wave of uncontrolble, burning emotion surged up my throat.

  “Is that how you feel?! You’ve never once told me the truth!! I’ve been telling you I love you since we were kids!! You know everything, so why pretend you don’t?! It’s unfair for you to stay silent!!”

  “Avery… please, don’t hurt me any more. I love you as my little sister. Isn’t that enough?”

  “It’s not enough!!”

  I shouted, tears streaming freely—it was unstoppable.

  “It’s never enough! Nothing is enough!! That’s why I’ve been leaving home like this. I wanted you to see me… for years. I can’t go on like this any longer. You’re the one hurting me.”

  Tears welled in Roman’s eyes. She tried to speak, but either the words wouldn’t come, or she hesitated to say them.

  I understood perfectly. I knew Roman better than she realized. She was trying to keep her heart safe by not being honest. I was the opposite. Even when reason told me to stop, my emotions ran headlong to the edge. That was the only way I knew how to love. Like a woman trapped in a spider’s web, I couldn’t escape Roman. This love had no blessing—only a curse. Even if reality reminded me of it over and over, it didn’t lessen my obsession.

  “I’m sorry… Avery,”

  Roman’s hoarse voice was barely audible.

  “I can’t… respond to your feelings.”