1.19: A Vampire’s Boudoir“Ume-chan!” Rui excimed.

  I was still on the floor, blinking through the stars exploding behind my noh-eyes. Once they finally adjusted, the world sharpened into a sight so bright and pink it knocked the breath out of me.

  The room looked like a magical girl’s private paradise. The walls bloomed with painted flowers and green vines curling around shelves. Potted pnts clustered everywhere, lush and lively. Stuffed animals piled in corners and covered the bed in an avanche of fluff… every animal I’d ever seen and at least a dozen I hadn’t. Aardvarks to Zyzzyvas frolicking in cotton-stuffed harmony.

  After the eldritch terror of the store, I expected more creepy dolls. There wasn’t a single one in here. Not even a cursed one-eyed rabbit perched ominously on a shelf.

  This room was aggressively, weaponizedly adorable.

  Rui embraced the girl in the center of it all…

  Ume, who was roughly Rui’s height but… very much not ft in comparison. Her body actually possessed depth. And presence. And curves so dramatic my brain stalled for a solid second.

  Her bck hair shimmered like silk, tied into perfect twintails. Her bangs framed delicate arched brows. Her outfit was a textbook-perfect goth-loli dress: bck ce bursting around crimson fabric, poofed sleeves, ribbons crossing her chest, bows cinching at her hip and beneath her very impressive bust. She wore bck knee socks and boots embroidered with red gemstones. On her chest hung a bck iron rosary with an onyx chain and a ruby-like stone glowing at the center. Occult charms dangled along the chain… pentagrams, Egyptian symbols, yin-yang, shide.

  She was the physical embodiment of the word aesthetic.

  “Rui-Rui!” she chirped. “What brings you today to my humble home? I’m so happy to see you!”

  They hugged tightly, warmly. I blinked, wondering if she ran this business like Rui. Inherited from family. Maybe they were connected by simir tragedies, two girls keeping each other afloat in a world full of monsters. Whatever the case, their friendship was obvious. And positively adorable.

  Time, however, was dying. Midnight loomed. My face was still missing. I couldn’t just sit and watch them exchange sparkles.

  “Are we visiting here so you can hang out with your friend?” I blurted, pulling out my phone and fshing the clock. “It’s fifteen o’clock. We don’t have much time, do we?”

  Rui shot me a lethal side-eye. “Didn’t Ume-chan’s merchandise out there clue you in? Baka. Ume is our contact… and my best friend.”

  Ume smiled at me sweetly and bowed. “Gosh, I love Magiranger, by the way! You look so cool! Your costume is so authentic! Speaking of costumes, Halloween is my favorite holiday!”

  She stepped toward me, radiating sweetness so potent it should’ve been weaponized. Her eyes glowed like molten honey. At first I thought it was just her enthusiasm.

  Then I realized they were literally glowing.

  Oh…

  Before I could react, she leaned in… closer… and closer… her nose twitching adorably, like a curious bunny sniffing a juicy carrot.

  “I smell blood,” she said brightly. “You bled quite a bit today, didn’t you? There’s still a soap smell on you, but I can tell. It was definitely yours, not anyone else’s. Also, you smell really pleasant.”

  She licked her lips.

  Despite her gentle tone, that statement sent sheets of ice down my spine. My blood? Why was she saying things that made a person sound like dessert?

  Her eyes held mine, glowing deeper. My noh-mouth twitched open without permission. She went up on her tiptoes, her lips drifting toward mine…

  Rui spped a hand onto Ume’s frilled shoulder.

  Ume paused, then giggled mischievously, baring a perfect pair of sharp pearly fangs. “What?” She winked. “I like Magiranger.”

  “He’s not on the menu today,” Rui scolded, wagging a finger. “He barely has any blood left as is… and he’s a total noh-nuts.”

  I gred at Rui, betrayed. OH COME ON. Was she going to introduce me that way to every supernatural creature we met today even though I rode on that deathtrap elevator with her?!

  Light caught Ume’s fangs again… little white daggers that somehow made her even cuter. She wasn’t just a loli… she was a vampire loli.

  A loli vampire.

  Gulp.

  Ume tilted her head toward Rui. “Oh darn. I thought you brought me a little snack for tea. I could smell him from across the shop.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Well… perhaps you can give me something else to go with my tea.” She winked again.

  Rui squealed… actually squealed… and leaned in to kiss Ume enthusiastically, her whole body vibrating with excitement.

  Panic shot through me. I staggered backward into the hallway, feeling like an intruder trespassing into a private temple. I did my best to ignore the noises behind me. They were far more… more interesting than this pitch dark passageway.

  My face heated inside my helmet. I tried not to picture anything. That only made it worse. I sat down and poked at my phone, pouting, trying to distract myself, but every second made the flush on my nonexistent cheeks intensify.

  “Oh my. All his blood rushed into his head just now! How cute!” Ume said directly behind me.

  “Yaiii!” I jumped. HOW DID SHE KNOW THAT?! She couldn’t even see my face.

  I turned slowly, praying they weren’t naked.

  They weren’t. Thank every god known to humanity.

  “H-how’d you know?” I croaked.

  Ume smiled at me gently. “I can feel vibrations of a heartbeat within a certain radius,” she said with the tone of a teacher expining a basic science fact. “It makes us effective hunters. But don’t worry… it takes real effort to turn someone into one of us. We seldom kill.”

  She beckoned me back into her room and I was seated at a little round table with them. There were tea cups set in pces around the table with steam curling from them. The contrast between the earlier kiss and this serene tea time made my brain wobble.

  Ume smiled at me. “Are you too embarrassed to remove your helmet to enjoy a cup of tea?” She poured for Rui and then for me. “It’s my special blend. It helps suppress my bloodlust. Delicious hot or cold. No side-effects for non-vampiric creatures.”

  “I trust there aren’t any sedatives in your tea today,” Rui muttered.

  I forced myself toward the table, gncing again at the time on my phone. Fifteen-fifteen. Too little time. Too much uncertainty.

  “At least I can sit…” I grumbled and dropped into a seat beside a pile of stuffed animals.

  “You sure are grumpy,” Ume said, smiling warmly at me. “I can’t bme you. You’ve had a very bad day.”

  “Truthfully,” Rui said, finally getting to the point, “Ume, we’re here because we need anything you’ve learned about the noh-face. Any leads, no matter how insignificant.”

  Ume lifted her cup, sipping daintily. “I heard a few things, but I’m not sure how useful they will be.” Her eyes drifted to me sympathetically. “There was another victim this morning. Unlike usual, there was a huge ruckus at a station.”

  I froze, helmet halfway lifted to try sipping the tea. The cup was decorated with cute cat paws. I tilted it toward my mouth…

  …

  “No body was recovered this time. It was a case of instant transformation… or nearly. Every other victim has been killed. It takes a face… and disposes of the body. It’s very difficult to track.”

  Tea dribbled down my chin and spshed onto the cushion between my legs.

  I wilted.

  “Oh my. Spilling my good tea on one of my cushions for a good reason… not out of rudeness. I suspected as much,” Ume said sadly. “My bad. Your body must be thirsty after all you’ve lost today. A lesser mortal might’ve died.”

  “That isn’t the important part,” Rui said with a dismissive wave. “Who cares about him? What else do you know about the Noh-face?”

  Ume’s expression dimmed slightly. Her lips tightened into a small, troubled line. “The noh-face can be very savage. Its methods are usually sadistic and clever, incredibly meticulous. But tely it’s been growing sloppy. Sloppier each time.” She gnced at me again, eyes softening. “Leaving someone alive to turn… that’s not normal. I’m sorry you had to experience that.”

  She smiled then. It was a strangely comforting, warm smile, softened by the faintest glimmer of hunger at the edges. “It’s too bad you weren’t hunted by a vampire, instead.”

  I sputtered. “Wh-what do you mean? Isn’t vampire hunting… uh… extremely lethal too? Like ‘chewed-on-like-a-juice-pouch’ lethal?”

  Ume giggled behind her fingers. “Movies exaggerate. We’re gentler than you think. We get what we need, but we don’t kill. You would have slept wonderfully, perhaps tonight, lower blood pressure, and that nap would have sted all day and the next night.” She tapped her cheek thoughtfully. “We bite carefully, you see.”

  I stared at her. “Gentler than Noh-face?” My voice cracked. “Really?”

  Ume nodded, still smiling softly. “We’re noble creatures. Much more reasonable than humans assume. We’ve integrated into society very well. We even flourish. People idolize us. It’s adorable. I’m a bit of a local idol myself, actually.” She puffed up a little before coughing delicately. “Ahem. Well… I can’t say the same for all supernatural beings. As for vampires in general… Oh yes. We’re yokai. We have a thriving community.”

  “You’re meandering,” Rui said, ughing as she reached out to pat Ume’s head affectionately. “As cute as your lectures are, we’re here for business.”

  Ume warmed visibly under the petting. Then she blinked and nodded rapidly. “Right. Right! The noh-face. Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “I’m afraid I don’t have much more information than that. No more specific leads.”

  My heart sank.

  She continued, “But I gather this young man is your client? I can’t remember the st time you took a male client.” She tilted her head, eyes glittering with curiosity.

  “That’s true,” Rui said breezily… and then immediately threw me under the bus. “He’s a totally harmless noh-nuts. He’ll become my sve afterwards by the way, so it’s a win-win.”

  Ume blinked. “Really? It took two trophies?” Her eyes traveled over my costume and then to my helmet. “Well then… I suppose that makes him closer to your ideal, doesn’t it?” she teased, giggling. “Maybe that’s why he’s ‘harmless’.”

  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

  The horror struck me like a meteor. I instinctively clutched myself protectively, imagining the nightmare scenario they kept joking about. My eggs. Gone. Stolen. Mounted on someone’s supernatural trophy wall. Right next to my face.

  I winced violently. That triggered a memory.

  I remembered Rui’s initial kick when we first met.

  I stormed to my feet and pointed accusingly at the Oni. “If I lost my junk, it would’ve been HER FAULT!” I cried, pointing dramatically at the deceptively innocent-looking loli oni. “She kicked me so hard when we met that she practically drove them up into my brain! It’s ALL HER FAULT!”

  Rui raised an eyebrow, entirely unbothered. “Now, now. If they were detachable, it would have saved you a great deal of trouble,” she said.

  I gaped at her.

  Ume covered her mouth, stifling a giggle.

  I turned back to Ume, desperate for someone… anyone… to treat me with a shred of dignity. I csped my hands together in a pleading gesture. “My name is Susumu. Please don’t call me that insensitive nickname, Ume-chan!”

  Ume’s lips parted slightly, her expression soft and sympathetic, tinged with something hungry-curious, like someone eyeing a dessert but trying very hard to behave.

  “Oh… Susumu,” she said, voice honey-sweet. “What a lovely name. I love prophetic names!”

  My heart thumped. My helmet heated.

  “And don’t worry,” she added, her eyes glowing faintly again. “I won’t call you that.”

  Rui snorted. “I will.”

  “NO!!”

  Ume giggled, covering her mouth with delicate fingers tipped in bck nail polish. “Rui-Rui, be nice. He’s had a positively horrible day.”

  “Yes, well,” Rui said with a shrug. “I suppose he hasn’t died. That’s something. Ume, anything else we should know? Anything suspicious? Any movement in the yokai circuits? It doesn’t have to be about noh-face.”

  Ume swirled her teacup gently, the steam drifting in a ribbon between us. “That’s very vague isn’t it? There have been other rumors,” she admitted. “A disturbance in the rail tunnels st night. Something very old, waking, or moving. Something hungry. Some lines have been damaged. Some very frisky yokai have been active down there. Honestly, JR should condemn its underground lines, but since when have corporations put people’s safety first, right? Plus they have absolutely no understanding of yokai. Most mortals go their whole life without getting even a tiny whiff of us.” Her glowing eyes flicked toward me for half a second.

  I shivered.

  She continued, “Also, the yokai in the lower districts have been restless. Some fled entirely. Some… vanished. But nothing confirmed. Nothing that points directly to the noh-face.”

  Rui exhaled through her nose in a frustrated puff. “Ugh. Doesn’t sound too helpful.”

  “I’m sorry. I did warn you.” Ume said, her voice gentle. “In any case, if I hear anything more, I’ll message.”

  “Do,” Rui said. “We’re pressed for time.”

  Ume nodded, then looked toward me again with a long, steady, curious gaze… looking at me in a way that made the hair on my arms stand up beneath the costume.

  “You really are strange,” she murmured softly. “Having bled so much and still alive. Turning just a little yokai but you’re still mostly human. And that scent of yours…” She inhaled. “It’s very sweet.”

  I nearly fainted on the spot.

  Rui flicked Ume’s forehead. “Stop that.”

  “Ow! Rui-Rui!” Ume pouted. “I wasn’t going to bite him, I promise!”

  “You were absolutely going to bite him.”

  “…Maybe a tiny nibble,” Ume admitted.

  “NO NIBBLES!” I yelped.

  Ume giggled. “Adorable.”

  I covered my helmet with both hands, as though that would somehow stop the embarrassment from radiating through the room.

  Rui stood and brushed off her skirt. “Come on, noh-nu— Susumu. Time’s wasting. Thank you, Ume-chan.”

  “Anytime,” Ume said brightly. “Be safe. And Susumu?”

  I paused.

  “Yes?”

  She smiled… warm, but with a faint, unmistakable hunger glinting underneath.

  “Try not to spill so much as a drop of that sweet-smelling blood of yours. It’s very precious,” she said with a serious expression. “...It would be a shame to waste it.”

  My soul attempted to leave my body. I squeaked. Actually squeaked.

  Rui grabbed me by the cape and tugged me toward the exit. “Stop flirting with him. He’s too fragile,” she scolded.

  “I wasn’t,” Ume said innocently. “I was completely serious.” She tilted her head thoughtfully, her eyes still very serious.

  Serious as she cimed to be, she absolutely was. I wasn’t used to any women flirting with me. They were all too afraid and the ones that did tended to be the bad types. Ones that I knew to stay far away from.

  I was drenched in terror, confusion, embarrassment, something else that I typically reserved for Reiko… and the faint smell of tea I’d failed miserably to drink.

  And we still had a face-stealing nightmare to hunt down.

  Courtesy of MajorKerina author of Mecchen House, an old favorite of mine.

  Relwing