1.34: A Conbini Excuse“Where’s the nearest convenience store?” Rui asked with a somewhat uncharacteristic seriousness, considering how trivial the question seemed to be.

  “W-what?” I noh-gasped. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? I… I’ll buy you a drink! There’s a vending machine nearby!”

  “No, silly.” Rui facepalmed, actually facepalmed, then ughed through her fingers. “Not that I’d turn down some free sugar water, but that’s not why. I need a full conbini. There isn’t enough junk lying around the street to find our friend. You see, it’s part of his game.”

  I tried to scratch my head, only for my fingertips to cck uselessly against my helmet. “Um… are we getting him a snack? Some potato chips? Karaage? The conbini near here has really good fried chicken, by the way.”

  “R-really?” Rui rolled her eyes dramatically. “I’ll remember that. I do like some good chicken. You can take me back ter to celebrate. But that’s not what I’m looking for right now.”She grabbed my arm with her vice-grip strength. “Lead the way!”

  I ughed awkwardly, still clueless about what she was pnning. “Let’s go!”

  There was no one else around… no footsteps, no murmurs. The ambient sounds were just the quiet hum of the city settling into night. A couple of dogs barked in the distance. We moved through a narrow street and out onto a rger boulevard. Rows of decorative grates housed trees pnted in uneven, but tidy intervals. Bushes lined painted rails.

  Tall buildings rose above us like silent sentinels. Cars slipped by in reduced numbers, their engines echoing hollowly off the concrete canyons. When I finally looked up, the moon hung above, an enormous yellow.

  It was a witches’ moon.

  Big enough to make me wonder, for a fleeting paranoid moment, whether the moon had something to do with why tonight had become a supernatural circus. I had no idea what phase the moon was supposed to be in right now because I wasn’t into astrology, and frankly, astrology probably wanted nothing to do with me either. But still… there was something eerie about that huge golden disc staring down at us.

  Luckily the streetmps poured enough light to overpower it, and their familiar glow calmed my nerves.

  Within moments, the conbini’s fluorescent sign appeared ahead. I gestured grandly to Rui and even threw in a little bow.“Here we are. If you want to take a moment, get a drink… I don’t mind. I insist! We’ve been through a lot—”

  I froze mid-sentence.

  My wallet was basically dead. I had maybe two crumpled small bills left, which was why I’d ended my hermitage.

  “I’ll buy you a drink!” I blurted far too loudly.

  Rui smirked. “Wow… such generosity, Susumu. Truly the benevolence of a noble oni-tamer.” She tapped her cheek pyfully. “Sure, I’ll have a drink. You’re right. It’s no good if we don’t take care of ourselves… Ugh…” She heaved a very heavy sigh. “If I could buy you a bag of blood, I’d do it.”

  B-blood…?My brain short-circuited. Would I be expected to drink it? Would it help? Would it make me puke? Ume-chan did express regret at not having been able to turn me her way before the Noh-face got me. Blood probably would have tasted a little better then and done more for my stomach.

  She was halfway inside the store before I recovered. I hurried after her like a confused older sibling following my unhinged little sister. But admittedly, she was acting more and more hinged and that was a little scary.

  Rui made a beeline for the drinks cooler. Her eyes scanned the rows with ser precision before she reached out, slid open the gss door with a flourish…

  And pulled out an Asahi Super Dry.

  My jaw dislocated on the spot.

  The loli-oni was an alcoholic?!Was it for her friend? Her tanuki friend? Part of his game? Did tanuki drink? Did yokai even get drunk?! Was she secretly a yokai too?

  Rui grinned wickedly.“Oh, they’ll card me. Watch this. It’s always priceless.”

  She hopped… actually hopped toward the register like the world’s most suspiciously adorable delinquent.

  Then, for some reason, she paused beside an umbrel rack and unsheathed a rge umbrel like a samurai drawing a bde.

  Why?There wasn’t a cloud in sight. The moon was bright and sharp overhead. The night was clear enough to see spirits walk the earth, not that I’d seen any since the Noh-face.

  I leaned on a nearby aisle shelf, determined to maintain pusible deniability. If police burst in here again, I was not legally associated with this chaos gremlin. Nope, not this time.

  “I’ll take these two, please!” Rui chirped, pcing the beer and umbrel down.

  The checker was an elderly man with kind eyes. He bowed and began scanning the items…—until he froze at the beer.

  “Ah… I’m afraid I can’t sell you this.” He gave a gentle ugh. “How about I treat you to a nice hot tea instead? Beer is an adult beverage.”

  “I knooow!” Rui beamed. “I love a good beer… like all the time! I could really use one tonight! Pretty please!”

  I noh-gaped.“S-since when were you a hopeless alcoholic?!” I said that WAY too loudly!

  The checker stared right at me.

  Oh no… oh no… oh no… I’m not with her… Nope…

  “S-Since when were little girls hopeless alcoholics I meant!!! I’m… I’m totally shocked! Just like you!” I excimed, waving my hands.

  I had no room to judge her, but still… no… I didn’t want any part of this!

  She just winked at no one in general, but totally for me.

  Before I could panic further, Rui pulled out her wallet.

  I stepped forward to stop her—Why even… why……And my helmet smmed against the counter.

  My eyeholes lined up perfectly with her ID.

  “You’re really TWENTY?!” I screamed.

  The elderly checker’s eyebrows shot up.

  “Oh… my. You age gracefully, young dy.” He nodded, impressed. “I’ve seen this before. You absolutely look like a middle-schooler. My apologies. Please enjoy your beverage.”

  “No problem, grandpa!” Rui winked. “What can I say? I’m blessed!”

  “But your chest—”The elder began, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

  Oh. No.

  “D—” Rui froze.Her aura dropped twenty degrees.

  “D-DON’T ATTACK A GIRL WHERE SHE’S SENSITIVE, YOU MEANIE!!! I HATE YOU!!!”

  She snatched the beer and umbrel and bolted from the store in a tiny hurricane of fury.

  I remained with my head on the counter as the checker stared at the empty doorway she left through.

  “You… you just dodged a bullet…” I whispered like a man who had seen too much.

  “Oh… I see.” He sighed gravely. “It was my fault. Please… keep the items. And may I add that I hope she never comes back?”

  “That’s generous, sir, but…” I straightened. “I told her about your amazing chicken, so don’t bet on that. But for your safety, please don’t mention her chest EVER again. Otherwise you’ll—”

  “GET OUT OF THERE, IDIOT!!! WE DON’T HAVE ALL NIGHT!!” Rui shrieked from outside.

  “Y-YES, Loli-Oni-sama!!”I bolted out like a coward fleeing divine judgment.

  Relwing