Chat name: Three Pups and the Braincell

  Members:

  T. Dericote: Drunkpup

  E. Riderman: Sand4brainz

  A. Wanderman: Wonderland

  C. Rivers: Estuary

  For previous texts, click here.

  Sand4brainz: Any clues on when Thraken's out of the Academy?

  Drunkpup: In about two hours.

  Wonderland: Aren’t you doing a test?

  Drunkpup: Finished that ten minutes ago.

  Wonderland: Wasn’t that your final in weapons training?

  Sand4brainz: Why do you know this?

  Drunkpup: Yes, I passed with flying colors.

  Not sure why they thought I’d need an hour and a half for it…

  Wonderland: Someone has to.

  Sand4brainz: Reason I was asking: Dearest friends.

  Drunkpup: I like where this is going.

  Sand4brainz: I happen to have a fine case or three of Corellian from a business associate.

  Wonderland: Maker preserve you Elix if I need to drag you away from some shady asshole again.

  Drunkpup: Sure, I got nothing going on tomorrow. I’m assuming your girlfriend is joining us.

  Wonderland: Right here lizardick.

  Sand4brainz: That’s why I used the groupchat.

  SO. Love of my life, would you join us tonight?

  Wonderland: Only if you both don’t complain about me drinking you two under the table.

  Sand4brainz: I love how you can drink us under the table <3

  Drunkpup: great, they’re flirting again.

  Wonderland: <3

  Drunkpup: >.<

  If you guys must flirt, please do it somewhere where I can’t see it.

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  I’m not drunk enough to find it cute.

  Sand4brainz: You always think it’s cute

  Drunkpup: Such slander upon mine ancient name. Perish the thought.

  Wonderland: Come on now Thrakey. You were over the moons when we started dating.

  Drunkpup: True, but I still don’t wanna see anything. Last time I ended up trying to remove the memory by drinking until I blacked out.

  Next thing I know, I’m fighting an angry winglizard for some jerky I got from … somewhere. Worst thing is: I lost the fight!

  Wonderland: For your information I am rolling my eyes at you.

  Drunkpuppy: As long as that’s everything that’s being rolled, fine by me.

  Sand4brainz: He’s gonna be protecting us from pirates.

  Maker save us.

  Anyhow. Dearest Alice, my shining star, wanna make Thraken black out again?

  Wonderland: Maybe after the first couple rounds.

  Drunkpuppy: I wonder why I’m friends with you.

  Wonderland: You adopted Elix, because your heart is made of the softest metals

  Sand4brainz: Then we met my most wondrous Alice when celebrating your successful graduation from tertiary school

  Also the metal you want is Cesium, my dearest

  Drunkpuppy: As I said, why am I friends with you.

  Also I'd argue quicksilver is softer.

  Wonderland: Because you love us so much you want us in your family.

  Drunkpuppy: Firstly: That was my parents’ idea.

  Firstly the second: Just because they’re my parents don’t mean they’re always wrong.

  Sand4brainz: I still object to this idea. The costs for any ten thousander family is astronomical. I fail to see the point.

  Drunkpuppy: and I have told you, that we don’t care. Let us love you.

  Sand4brainz: NeveR

  Drunkpuppy: Coward

  Sand4brainz: Railgower.

  Drunkpuppy: Asshat

  Sand4brainz: Lizardick

  Drunkpuppy: Lizardshit

  Sand4brainz: Whelpkicker

  Drunkpuppy: Lizardfucker

  Wonderland: Ladies, you’re both pretty, now quit it before I grab your mother.

  Drunkpuppy: My mother would side with me.

  Sand4brainz: That’s definitely an upside to mudpuppies.

  Drunkpuppy: I told you about her in CONFIDENCE!

  Estuary: Why is my datapad explodig with messages?

  Drunkpuppy: explodig

  Sand4brainz: explodig

  Wonderland: explodig

  Estuary: *exploding.

  Fuck.

  Drunkpuppy: We’re thinking of drinking again, tonight.

  Estuary: Sure, got nothing better on.

  Drunkpuppy: Great! Now I don’t have to be traumatized by their flirting alone.

  Sand4brainz: You love us.

  Drunkpuppy: I love that when you make out I can sneak more booze.

  Sand4brainz:
  Estuary: Damn.

  I mean same, but damn. Didn’t have to tell them.

  Wonderland: I can’t blame you two, but I still feel betrayed.

  Sand4brainz: Alice, my dearest, I have been heartbroken.

  Estuary: Get over yourself Riderman.

  Drunkpuppy: I got to get to my next class. Man I hate examination periods, see y’all tonight.

  Estuary: Y’all.

  Sand4brainz: The problems of being a year+ younger than everyone else in the friendgroup.

  Wonderland: See ya later Thrakey.

  Drunkpuppy: Still hate that.

  Estuary: Yet she’s the only one you don’t punch for saying it.

  Drunkpuppy: I can’t punch my future sister in-law.

  Estuary: Elix, for all our sakes, just take the damn adoption. I can’t take the winging from the Dericotes much longer.

  Sand4brainz: No comment.

  Drunkpuppy: That’s not a no!

  I’ll tell ma’ n pa’ to get the paperwork started

  Sand4brainz: BITCH NO!

  Drunkpuppy: TOO LATE LIZARDBRAIN!

  (Wonderland changed user name: Sand4braiz to Lizardbrain Dericote)

  Lizardbrain Dericote: I regret … so much.

  Why can’t I change it back?

  Damn you Charley!

  Estuary: I want half a case.

  Lizardbrain Dericote: Deal.

  (Estuary changed user name: Lizardbrain Dericote to Sand4brainz)

  Sand4brainz: Thank you.

  I’ll leave it at your doorstep sometime this weekend.

  Wonderland: Times like these where I am not at all surprised at how bad of a businessman you are.

  Estuary: Yet whenever he gets into smuggling he’s suddenly a criminal mastermind.

  Sand4brainz: I resent that

  Estuary: Don’t mean it ain’t true.

  Wonderland: Damn straight.

  Estuary: What’d I do this time?

  Wonderland: I really need to stop falling into that trap.

  Estuary: It’s your own fault.

  Wonderland: I can’t say you’re wrong. But I still hate this running gag of yours.