The trial by combat made me understand many things about society; first of all, honor was extremely important for the next generations, and a stain upon it could have disastrous consequences. Baron Gutiérrez preferred to die with a sword in hand rather than live without one of his fingers and with the stigma of corruption on his back.

  Likewise, I understood that the problems of the Gray Fist were nowhere near finished. A divided enemy, with no central command, was harder to kill.

  “Mother,” I whispered, while Girasol and I watched the cleaning staff carry Gutiérrez’s body away to be buried in his homeland.

  “What is it?”

  “We have to deal with the Gray Fist. I thought destroying their base would make them collapse, but it didn’t. Now there are hundreds of thugs using their name to intimidate people. Does the kingdom have a secret police? You know—agents, spies, that sort of thing.”

  “I wouldn’t say spies, son—just informants. We’ve never been good at intrigue. Do you want to found a new group?” She didn’t tell me the whole truth. I was sure of it. Judging by her hesitant expression, something was being hidden in the shadows.

  “Yes,” I replied. “I need to find professionals in information, espionage, infiltration, and… assassination.” I said that last word with a certain bitterness in my voice. I hated the idea of using dirty methods to reach my goals—but it never hurt to have the weapons ready for a hypothetical political clash.

  “You’re starting to understand,” Mother whispered. “I’ll see what I can do. Give me time. Those people aren’t easy to contact.”

  “As for Ronaldo, I still can’t find a way to make him braver. It’s not in his nature, and fighting doesn’t inspire him. Without those requirements, he’ll never become a decent fighter.”

  Mother fell silent for a few seconds.

  She inclined her head with the natural elegance of a lady trained in refinement.

  “I think you already know the answer. You’ve always known it, Ulric.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You just saw it yourself. A proud man with an ancient bloodline gambled his life in a trial—and lost. Ronaldo may be a coward, as you say, but he’s still a noble of Etrica, and his honor cannot be stained. I’m sure you understand what I mean, don’t you?”

  “Yes…”

  I had no words.

  How could Mother suggest something like that?

  This went against my principles and ideals. I couldn’t force someone like that—much less a fragile child like Ronaldo.

  “This is another lesson you must learn, Ulric. You’re a good person, son—a being of light, very kind. Your heart is pure. Despite the strange maturity you show, your actions always carry a warm goodness that I, as your mother, love. But as queen regent, I’m sorry to tell you these words…”

  Girasol pulled me into her arms and pressed my face to her chest. I could hear her heart beating fast—nervousness and sadness.

  “A king cannot always be a good person. Sometimes you’ll have to make hard decisions that go against your personal morals—or the interests of the people you love.”

  “B-But, Mother… I don’t want to be dishonorable. Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because I love you, Ulric, and sooner or later someone had to say it. You have the maturity to understand what I’m telling you. Kings cannot be wholly good—there must always be a bit of darkness in your heart so you can protect the people. Of course, I’m not asking you to become a monster. Tyrants aren’t praised by history either, and most of them meet violent ends.”

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  “I… I…” I knew it. I knew perfectly what Mother meant.

  And in a way, I had always known.

  But I denied it so my ideals of honor, justice, and generosity wouldn’t be stained.

  I hated hurting people—especially innocents who owed nothing and feared nothing.

  “I know, I know, my little one. Asking this of you at your age is madness… but we’ll be at war soon, and that’s where hard decisions won’t wait. You’ll have to think fast and lead this nation as best as possible.”

  “I understand. So I must be relentless to achieve my goals without falling into tyranny. I-I wanted to be a heroic king—someone who could keep his honesty and kindness in the face of adversity—but I see that won’t be possible, right?”

  “Unfortunately, my son, the real world isn’t a place where idealists win—especially in politics.”

  I stayed quiet for a few seconds. I’d suspected it from the start…

  I thought that in this different world I could accomplish my dream goals: become a sincere politician capable of guarding people’s well-being without dirtying my hands. I longed for this to be a fantasy with no rules and with cheat powers to crush reality and its ugly norms.

  I longed for it so much.

  Wasn’t that the charm of isekai? And yet, here I was…

  About to become what I hated most.

  “A politician like any other in this sad, tired world.”

  Whether in Mexico or the Kingdom of Etrica, things wouldn’t change so easily.

  “Right. I already know what I’m going to do to motivate Ronaldo. Thanks for telling me the truth, Mother. I needed someone to pull me out of these childish illusions.”

  “Ulric, don’t forget: no matter what choices you make and what destiny you decide for your future, keep in mind that I will always love you. I’m your mother, after all.”

  “Yes. Thank you so much, Mother.”

  I left the place with my mind full of reflections. No matter how cowardly the boy was, his honor as a noble still held as much weight as Baron Gutiérrez’s—and because of that, he would be incapable of doing anything that would damage his honor.

  While I walked through the castle’s corridors, I ran into Ingrid. My future forced fiancée already looked better after vomiting from the violent act she had witnessed. An innocent child like her should never have seen such savagery and horror, but that was the society we lived in, and for now there was nothing I could do to change it.

  “Hey, Ingrid… do you feel better?” I whispered.

  “Yes… it shocked me too much to see a killing live. I-I’ll recover soon, don’t worry.” But she truly looked disturbed by what happened—an absolutely natural reaction for a girl her age.

  “It was a tragedy,” I said, a certain melancholy in my tone. “Honor is a serious matter…”

  We didn’t say anything else. We walked together toward her room; she wanted to change clothes and take a good bath. As for me, I simply wanted to read a while to get the violent images out of my head. I wanted to give Sir Marte time to be with his family; I’d catch up with formalities later.

  Suddenly, a stray thought struck me—and without thinking twice, I let it out.

  “Ingrid… what would you think of me if I do bad things to do good?” I didn’t know why I asked. Maybe I wanted a more innocent approval than the harsh reality Mother had just shown me.

  But I made a mistake.

  Ingrid wasn’t the right person to advise me. If Sora were alive, maybe she’d give me the words I was searching for right now.

  “Bad things?”

  “Forget it. It’s nothing. I’m still shaken from the fight, that’s all.” I wanted to drop it so I wouldn’t keep making her uncomfortable, but I was surprised when the white-haired girl grabbed my left sleeve. Her face carried emotions that were hard to explain: fear, insecurity, trust… a whole mix that seemed to lead nowhere.

  “What bad things?” she asked again.

  “Hard things. Ugly things. Disgusting things. Would you think badly of me? Would you hate me?”

  “Of course not!” Ingrid cried, almost sobbing. “You saved me from my family and you always protect me. Alda loves you so much, and your mother too. If you do bad things, then all of us will scold you together. And if it’s something truly necessary…” The girl swallowed her snot to keep talking. In the end she couldn’t stop herself from crying. “I-I’ll understand. I know your intentions will never be bad.”

  In her childish innocence—or naivety—Ingrid gave me the answer I needed.

  It might sound like self-deception, even absurd, but I truly wanted to stay loved despite the hard decisions I was about to make.

  “I understand. So you, Alda, and Mother will still love me no matter what I do?”

  “Of course! Affection doesn’t disappear that easily!”

  “I see… that’s a relief.”

  I didn’t say anything else. I left the girl at her room, then went to mine to rest after such a hectic afternoon.

  Even if I do questionable things, Mother and the others won’t stop loving me. I hate to admit it, but I truly feared what might happen if they saw a side of me I wanted to keep hidden in the deepest part of my past-life memory.

  With more painful lessons in my path, my journey as a king in training continued onward.