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Already happened story > Their Wonder Years: Fall 98 > Chapter 43: I’m not a child anymore Mamá

Chapter 43: I’m not a child anymore Mamá

  Marisol stepped quietly into her house just after sunset.

  The porch light buzzed above her, casting a cone of dim gold over the peeling paint and sun-warmed brick. The living room glowed softly inside, warm mplight spilling over the beige carpet and the family photos perched above the mantel. For a fleeting moment, it felt like a dream, returning to this world after the one she’d just come from.

  But the moment she closed the door behind her, a voice rang out like thunder.

  “Marisol Alicia Rivera!”

  She winced. Her full name. Death sentence level.

  “O, Mamá...”

  Her mother was already in the hallway, eyes bzing, apron still on over her work blouse, her arms crossed in fury and something worse - fear.

  “It’s Monday night,” Maria snapped. “You left for the party Saturday. You didn’t come home. You didn’t call. Not one damn word! ?Qué carajo pasó? Are you insane?”

  “I’m okay,” Marisol said quickly, her hands raised in surrender. “I swear. Nothing bad happened.”

  “You think that matters to me?” her mother shot back, voice shaking. “You think I slept? I called your friends. Your dorm. Ange said you stayed with her, but she didn’t know where you were Sunday. I was two seconds from calling the police!”

  Marisol’s heart pinched. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “THEN WHY DID YOU VANISH?” her mother shouted. “Tell me. Right now.”

  Marisol dropped her bag by the couch. Her voice, when she spoke, was softer. “Can we sit?”

  Maria stared at her, jaw locked, but the shift in her daughter’s tone was enough to cut through the heat. Slowly, she nodded.

  They sat. The same couch they’d watched telenoves on when Marisol was little. The same couch where she’d cried after Mia’s broken arm, or after their father left.

  Marisol exhaled and said quietly, “I met someone.”

  Maria blinked. “Someone?”

  “A boy,” Marisol crified. “Well, not a boy. A man. His name’s Bharath. He’s a freshman too. From India. He’s here on full schorship. You'll love him Mamá. He's smart, sweet, respectful, and…” She smiled, small and helpless. “I think he might be the one.”

  Maria recoiled like the air had been sucked from the room. “Marisol.”

  “I know it sounds fast...”

  “Fast?” Maria scoffed. “Mija, you’ve known him for how long? Two weeks? And you disappear for days with him? What do you even know about this boy?”

  “I know what I felt in his arms,” Marisol said quietly. “And I know I’ve never felt that safe before. Ever.”

  Her mother’s face softened for half a heartbeat, but then hardened again. “Safe doesn’t mean smart. This is reckless, Marisol. Dangerous.”

  “It didn’t feel dangerous,” Marisol replied. “It felt… inevitable.”

  Maria stood up, pacing now. “No. You’re eighteen. You don’t know what love is. You think some soft words and a few kisses mean fate? That’s not how this works. That’s not how people stay. I know. You think I didn’t love your father? I did. With everything I had. And he still walked out that door before Mia could walk.”

  She turned away, one hand trembling against her temple. “I was just a girl... barely older than you are now... with two babies and no job, no degree, and a heart shattered so badly I didn’t think it would beat again.”

  Marisol’s anger faltered.

  Maria swallowed hard. “So when I see you falling this fast, giving yourself to someone who could disappear tomorrow, don’t you dare think I’m just being harsh. I’m scared, mija. I’m terrified. Because I know what it’s like to love a man so much you forget where you end and he begins... and then wake up alone.”

  Her voice cracked on the st words. She turned away quickly.

  Marisol stood now too, her tone less firm. “Then expin it to me. Expin what does count, mamá. A ring? A job? A checklist? Because if you want that kind of love for me - cold, transactional, polite - I can’t give you that. I don’t want it.”

  “You don’t even know him,” Maria hissed. “You know how he treats you when you’re glowing and pretty. What about when you’re not? When you’re sick, or scared, or angry? You think this boy’s going to hold you through that too?”

  “Yes,” Marisol said simply. “Because he already has.”

  Maria’s breath hitched. “You slept with him.”

  Marisol’s jaw clenched. “Yes.”

  “You let a boy you just met... ”

  “He’s not a boy,” Marisol cut in. “He’s kind. He’s gentle. He’s awkward as hell and probably the most respectful man I’ve ever met. And when I was with him, I wasn’t afraid. Not once. I was seen. I was wanted. For all of me.”

  Maria’s eyes glistened now with unshed tears. “You’re still a child.”

  “No,” Marisol whispered. “I haven’t been a child since Dad left.”

  Silence.

  It nded heavy between them.

  Maria folded her arms tight across her chest, like she could keep the world from shifting under her feet.

  “I raised you better than this,” she said finally. “You don’t just give yourself away.”

  “I didn’t,” Marisol said. “I chose. I gave. Because I love him.”

  “Love, Dios!” her mother scoffed again. “After fifteen days? Twenty?”

  Marisol’s eyes filled now too. “After a year of feeling numb. After years of never letting anyone in. After always being the strong one. He’s the first person who made me feel like I could let go. And I wanted to. That means something.”

  From the hallway, just behind the cracked door frame, Mia stood frozen.

  She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop... not at first. She’d heard the yelling and crept down the hall expecting the usual mother-daughter fireworks. But what she found instead?

  Was something else.

  Marisol’s voice was thick now. “He doesn’t touch me like I’m something to conquer. He touches me like I’m his. Like he can’t believe he’s allowed. And when I let go, when I gave him everything - I didn’t feel used. I felt worshipped.”

  Maria’s breath was coming in sharp pulls now. “You’re going to get hurt.”

  “Maybe,” Marisol said. “But I’d rather risk that than go through life never feeling what I felt this weekend.”

  “Do you even know his st name?”

  “Yes,” Marisol snapped. “He wants to be a software engineer. He calls his mother almost every day. He doesn’t drink. He’s never had sex before. He...”

  Maria held up a hand, horrified. “Too much information.”

  But it was too te. Mia’s heart was racing. Her ears burned. Not from disgust. From something else.

  Her sister had said the word worshipped. Not loved. Not liked.

  Worshipped.

  Marisol had never even had sex with a boy before. And here she was, flushed and radiant and still humming with some deep magic - as if she’d walked through fire and come back shining.

  Is that what it’s supposed to feel like? To be touched like you’re precious?

  Mia swallowed hard.

  “I need to meet him,” Maria said again, her voice lower now. “If you’re serious - really serious - then he sits at this table. He meets my eyes. He tells me who he is. And he respects our home.”

  “He will,” Marisol said. “Gdly.”

  Maria wiped her eyes. “And if he doesn’t?”

  “Then he’s not the man I think he is.”

  A pause.

  Then, softly, Maria added, “Just… promise me you’re being careful.”

  “I am,” Marisol said. “With everything. But my heart’s not afraid of him.”

  Behind the door, Mia pressed a hand to her chest. Her heart was racing. And it wasn’t from fear.

  It was from something else - something hot and tangled and unfamiliar.

  She hadn’t meant to listen. It started as curiosity. Marisol never got into screaming matches with Mamá. That was her job. Marisol was always the composed one - the ice queen, calm and controlled, the girl who never let anyone see her crack.

  But tonight? She had cracked. And what came out had shaken something loose in Mia.

  She stepped back from the hallway quietly, barefoot on the cool floorboards, and slipped into her room without a sound. The door clicked shut behind her like the sealing of a confession.

  She stood still for a moment. Just breathing. Then the mirror above her dresser caught her in its frame - all legs and curves and fwless skin, her t-shirt slipping from one shoulder like it had been choreographed.

  At seventeen, Mia Rivera looked like everything boys dreamed about. And she knew it. So did the rest of the world.

  Ex-head cheerleader. Queen of her high school. Voted “Best Smile” and “Most Likely to Break Hearts” in the same week. She walked the halls like they belonged to her - and they did. Boys froze when she passed. Teachers tread carefully around her. Girls copied her lipstick shade and her scrunchie colors and prayed to whatever gods ruled teenage cool that Mia wouldn’t cut them with one of her slow, pitying smiles.

  She had power. But tonight, she felt powerless.

  She sat slowly on the edge of her bed, her hands csped between her knees, elbows resting on her thighs like she was bracing for a truth she hadn’t asked to hear.

  What Marisol had said - it kept echoing. He made me feel safe. He made me feel seen. I belong to him.

  That word again. Belonged. Mia didn’t know if she wanted to belong to anyone. But the way Marisol said it… it hadn’t sounded weak. It had sounded like freedom.

  And it had done something to her.

  She’d always thought her sister was the odd one out. Marisol, with her cool detachment and withering comebacks, who once turned down the star quarterback and didn’t even flinch when he almost cried. Mia used to ugh at her. Quietly. Now she wasn’t ughing.

  Because Marisol hadn’t sounded like someone caught in a stupid crush. She’d sounded undone. Unraveled. Like something in her had come loose for the first time in years - and she liked it.

  And Mia… Mia had never felt that.

  Sure, she’d been kissed. Groped. Whispered about.

  She was the ultimate male fantasy. Never the girl someone worshipped - not someone who was thought of as more than a doll.

  Marisol was talking about a guy who - by all accounts - should’ve been forgettable. Some awkward Indian nerd from Georgia Tech. Probably wore the same jeans every day and read sci-fi books with dorky covers.

  And yet… He had made Marisol melt.

  He’d never even had sex before. How did that work? How does a boy who’s never even done it get a girl like Marisol to surrender like that?

  Mia hugged her knees to her chest and stared at the floor. It didn’t make sense. But it felt true.

  She thought of her father - Ricardo - and how he’d left them. How she was barely crawling and Marisol was still in pigtails when he walked out. Another woman. Another life. Another excuse.

  Mamá had raised them alone. Worked shifts at whatever job she could find and cleaned houses when the bills stacked too high. There were months when the electricity flickered like it was trying to make a decision. Years when new clothes were a fantasy.

  Mia remembered the screaming. The quiet nights. The way Marisol always acted older than she had to.

  And Mia remembered how safe Marisol made her feel. When Mamá colpsed into bed from exhaustion. When the fridge echoed with too much space. When she asked, once, what their dad had looked like.

  Marisol had been the protector. Always.

  But tonight, she had protected him. This Bharath. This strange, awkward boy who’d walked into their lives and flipped Marisol upside down like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was not just sex. Not just attention. But that feeling. That tether. That ache in Marisol’s voice when she said she wasn’t afraid.

  No one had ever made Mia feel that way.

  All those boys - Caleb, Jordan, Eli - they were all just noise. They wanted her because everyone else did. Because she looked like a prize. But none of them had ever seen her.

  Not the scared part. Not the girl who still wondered if she’d been enough to make Ricardo stay. Not the girl who smiled for the cameras but cried when Mamá forgot her birthday because of a double shift.

  Mia wiped her cheek, suddenly damp. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.

  And why, in her golden, perfect life… did she suddenly feel like the one who was missing out?

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