Peek moved across the floor effortlessly to the sound of his mop attachments spinning spluttering away.

  “What is that thing?” The orc asked, while Lomber kind of looked like a startled cat. His body frozen in pce, watching Peek rotate and take detours in order to gather rogue crumbs.

  Gotta hand it to him—that’s employee of the month right there.

  I shrugged.

  Didn’t feel like expining—I felt like sowing discontent.

  “Found it in my house and let it loose. It likes floors as far as I can tell.” And eating anything I tell it to… muahahaha.

  Anyway

  The skinny man stepped back a few strides, while the orc used my couch as a natural barrier—And Lomber, still being a statue.

  “You ok Lomber?” I chuckled, watching Peek now sitting right in-front of him… and the two assholes.

  “How did that ‘thing’ get in here?” He muttered through tightly pressed lips, trying his best not to move.

  Wait, does he know what Peek is?

  I could hear soft moans, as one of the guys below started to move again. Forcing the lizard man to shift uncomfortably and eventually step off his human upholstery.

  When they both came to, the first made eye contact with me.

  “Well. Didn’t think you had the resources.” Shrugging his shoulders and wincing at the pain in his head. “Where does that leave us now?”

  “Where’s the dragon-hybrid?” I spat.

  “Gone, and best of luck finding her.” He chuckled, while the 2nd finally got to his knees.

  Ah… a thug that refuses to speak until an example is made—how cliche.

  “Unfortunately, I can’t force you to tell me, but I don’t see why we can’t find an—Understanding.”

  I walked over to the door and slowly closed it with a heavy clunk.

  “Lomber, did they have any money on them?”

  The lizard man shook his head, the 2 individuals now smirking.

  You won’t be smiling for long.

  “Good. Now that everyone is here, I’m afraid you are being effectively charged for being on the premises.”

  If you can hear me, system. How do I set a basic rate for entry?

  *Ding*

  [I can assist with that Greg]

  [Pay a once-off fee and receive the option to charge an individual by entering your Safezone]

  How much?

  [5 Gold]

  [Confirm Purchase?]

  But how will people be forced to work?”

  The system sounded slightly annoyed now.

  [An Understanding Greg]

  Vague as shit, but fine. Take my gold.

  *Ding*

  [Luxury Door Tax has been added]

  [You can set the price for entering in your menu]

  I smiled as I swiped through the menu and set the price to 5 copper. Not an obscene amount, just enough to conscript them into chores.

  It was at that moment when I saw everyone’s faces aimed at me. Eyebrows cocked in the same position, like an improvised round of salutes.

  Fuck, can’t they see the screens like me?

  “You ok Greg? Lomber asked, approaching me like I was foaming from the mouth or something. “Would you like me to get you some water?”

  “No no, that’s just how I do calcutions.”

  Greg you bloody genius.

  At best, they buy it and think I’m just quirky. At worst, they still buy it, but think I’ve got some form of disability.

  Which might garner me some pity points.

  The group all murmured in understanding, while the system gave me another alert.

  [Luxury Door Tax has taken effect]

  [You have collected your rightful and totally necessary charge of 15 copper coins]

  [2 Individuals had no funds and have inadvertently activated “An Understanding”]

  When in Rome…

  “You two. Umm, how do you feel?”

  The kneeling man responded first, his eyes wandering around the room. Like he was looking for something.

  “Sorry Greg, but I have to ask. Where’s your feather duster?”

  Interesting.

  “Why would you need that?” I retorted, unsure what to expect just yet.

  “No… no real reason, b-but you see.” He kept scratching his arms and neck. “There are these cobwebs I’ve noticed since coming here, and they just—drive me crazy.”

  System.

  Mind control, really?

  [Greg]

  [The mind cannot be controlled. If that guy wants to clean some cobwebs, let him do just that]

  I blinked at the response, pointing my finger forward.

  “Umm, past the kitchen. Turn left, down the hallway and the first door on your left has the tools you’re looking for.”

  He barely heard the end of my sentence before his heels clicked together around the corner.

  This was awesome! It’s like, the guy just unlocked a hypersensitive form of OCD towards cobwebs.

  Now the other guy chimed in. The one who did all the talking before the abduction.

  “Hey man, I’ve noticed the horrible state of your floor, and I was wondering.”

  “Go on…” Folding my arms with a wide grin.

  “The dungeon has plenty of resources. I’d be happy to collect them in order to fix up your floorboards.”

  System.

  Will him leaving my Safezone break the understanding skill?

  [Negative, unless they leave the Dungeon]

  [Important Note]

  [If the cost of gathering the resources exceeds the cost of the repayment, the understanding will end—and he might not fulfil his task]

  Not very cash-money of you, system.

  That’s fine, I can work with possible desertion. Just have to pn accordingly.

  How do I calcute bour repayment cost?

  [Greg]

  [You run the Safezone]

  There was a pregnant pause. Like it was rubbing the sides of its nonexistent temples.

  [You set the rates]

  [But a rule of thumb… and fairness. About 1 copper per hour]

  So the bottom line was. I had about 5 hours before these guys started snapping out of it. Problematic.

  “You can go, but Lomber will follow you.” Which garnered a sceptical look from the snake man.

  “I appreciate the further employment, but I still need to be paid.”

  Snake says what?!

  “What do you mean, payment? You didn’t bring her back, you brought me these idiots instead.” Like ordering a ft-white and receiving a cappuccino instead. Yes he head-hunted… just the wrong fucking heads.

  “I’ll make you a deal Lomber, you find Phima and watch this egg-head, and I’ll pay you 20 gold instead.”

  The lizard liked his lips rapidly, eyes shifting side to side. Clearly mulling it over.

  “Those terms are amenable. Draw up the contact and I’ll be on my way once more.”

  I grabbed a sticky-note and wrote out the terms, before slowly handing it to him with eyes averted.

  Not only did he not bring her back, he also wasted my time.

  At least he brought me the culprits.

  When I noticed Peek still following me around, eating crumbs and swivelling his little brooms.

  “At least I have a good portion of coins now. Let’s level myself for once.”

  I started my mental calcutions of how much it should set me back this time. Smiling at my 500 coin currency dispy.

  [Confirm Cost to Level 10]

  [24 Gold Coins]

  Hold up. When did it get that expensive?!