The loud thud was accompanied by a synchronised “oooh” from the groups, their faces equally distorted, as the dark-skinned elf folded like a wn chair.
His vocal confirmation of said thud now temporarily set to a much higher octave.
I flung the wooden leg over my shoulder. The scent of its recent ‘deep impact’ making me squint in disgust.
But I soldiered on.
“… anyway. Now that we have ‘that’ out of the way, it’s time for some education.”
My English teacher would’ve been proud.
Look at me, standing in front of a crowd and not stuttering.
“I-I have only… one Rule!”
FUCK!
“There is absolutely no fighting allowed in my Safezone—got it!” Giving each trembling group a stern look as I turned round and round in the centre of the room.
“Now, we’ve got some accounts to settle.” Pointing firstly at the broken dining room, before pointing my leg toward the bedroom section.
When my eye caught the attention of another crispy item.
“N-No…” I stuttered. The smell of the object, unmistakable.
“MY COUCH!”
The groups looked at me in confusion.
“What’s a—couch?” A human adventurer queried.
But I had all but drowned them out, rushing over to my once pristine seating arrangement and coddling it.
“You killed her.” I sniffled.
Not really though. I mean, the couch was pretty expensive after all… definitely fucked now.
“Her?” An elf interjected.
I stood up, hand resting on its charred remains. The smell of its premium leather.
Don’t care, it might as well have been leather for the price!
And gave the elves my best “you’ll pay for this” stare.
“No respect for someone’s belongings.” I mumbled through gritted teeth.
I dropped the bat and crossed my arms.
“Time to pay up.”
[Current Sir Charge Cost]
[Furniture Damage: 200 gold coins]
[Structure Damage: 300 gold coins]
[Potential Revenue Loss: 100 gold coins]
[“The Vintage” Damage: 1000 gold coins]
Vindication!
At least the system acknowledged the quality of her—if only I had Sir Charge for my bowl.
“You guys have accumuted quite the sum I’m afraid.” Heading over to the kitchen to grab one of my white boards and markers.
The numbers were etched into the white glossy panel like the 10 commandments.
“1600 gold coins, that’s how much you will pay!” I announced flipping the board and dispying it around the room in a wide arc.
There was a pregnant pause. Mostly due to surprise and not the nguage barrier. When it was finally broken by the first audible…
“You taking the piss?!” The human adventurer burst out half ughing, half angry.
I smacked my lips at the board, before subtly pointing back at the wooden leg on the ground.
“We can ‘negotiate’ if you’d like?” Giving the human in question a sinister smirk.
Another silence followed, before the first round of rattling of coin-bags began.
Not from the humans though… the elves this time.
“Since we did half the damage, half the cost would do, correct?” One of the elves queried, gathering gold coins around his group and pcing it into quite a rge bag.
I nodded and was promptly rewarded with a heavy bag beneath my feet. The clinking sound forcing the freeze response.
Soo much—money.
I cleared my throat, trying my best to compose myself before beckoning Anna over with a subtle wave.
“Please store this in my room, until I’m ready to use it.”
She gave the humans a look with her glowing eyes, slightly narrowed before continuing.
“Want me to wait until ‘they’ have paid their share?”
“No no, I’ll get them to pay just fine.” Since my skill was still active—thankfully.
I meandered over, while Anna disappeared toward the stairs; her heels echoing throughout the kitchen.
Peek had joined me, but mostly out of his incessant need to slurp up debris—not personal backup.
I crossed my arms when I came to a halt in front of them and started tapping my shoe.
“You boys ready yet?” I scoffed.
“Hold your horses big man, one of us is a bit short. Tristan… fucking pay the fee!” The secondary in charge ordered, while the bruised man from earlier sat against a broken down pile of “former bed”—holding his nose.
I kind of felt bad about that, since the adrenaline wore off and all.
“You alright mate, didn’t mean to hit you that hard.” My eyes making nervous contact with anything but his… obvious death-stare.
“You’re lucky this zone made me drop my weapon, for some odd fucking reason.”
I might have to invest in a swear jar, I’d be raking it in.
“Sorry, could you repeat that?” Cracking my knuckles in front of him, something even I was not accustomed to—and evidently didn’t. When my “knuckle cracking” turned into the sound of soft skin brushing one another.
I sighed.
You’re not a tough guy Greg…
The man looked at me bewildered at what I had just attempted and simply scoffed, before looking into the opposite direction.
I was suddenly and definitely not gently pushed into my back. Making me stumble a few steps before turning around.
Oh right, the money.
A rge leather bag was shoved into me, by that 2nd guy in-charge. His face resembling that of someone who had just gotten a colonoscopy—without lube.
“Take your shitty money!” He yelled, but not too loudly.
[All Sir Charge Coins have been successfully collected]
[Well done Greg]
Thank you, system.
With this next addition, I had significantly made a promising “reverse” dent into my stockpile. Making me re-think the skill I hadn’t purchased.
After all… I purchased Scalper first. Leaving the other 2 for ter acquisition—but things changed.
Dramatically
With my current pool of over 1600 gold coins, I would for sure be able to put the screws to those incoming townsfolk, during the upcoming meeting.
Making me snort at the st figure I had promised Lomber.
20 gold seems like lunch-money now.
While I was reminiscing, pondering really. I noticed the elves had just up and left. With the human counterpart heading toward the door themselves now.
“You guys are always welcome here, just remember!” I yelled after them.
Most ignored me with loud groans and muttered slurs, with only the leader turning. Face still red, bruised and definitely required some form of corrective surgery.
Really didn’t think I’d hit that hard… maaaan.
“Till we meet again—Leg!”
And he was gone.
Great… wrong name.