I stood there, the currency dispy in my peripheral and screaming at me—begging me.
I grabbed the handle of my pantry, the crisp white door still untouched by goo and arrows… and opened it.
Nada.
Everything was still the same as it’s always been. A box of grano my father had left me, knowing full well I’d never eat that healthy eugh. But, I did give my food inventory a good once-over, then quickly grabbed them all out. Packets of pasta, a sole surviving onion and some chips; which I actually forgot were still in there.
Then neatly stacked them on the kitchen counter, a pce I would call “my office” for now. Since that’s where most of my business dealings and system checkups were done at.
Funny enough, my vision was dispying the currency of the food items.
“What?! The onion is the most expensive???” Face pstered with disgust and confusion.
I turned back around and closed the door to the pantry. Thinking of a favourite food I could sooo go for right now. While doing my best impression of rubbing the door knob like it was granting wishes, before pulling the door open…
“Nothing?! Ok, there’s something I’m missing here.”
I smacked the door shut and sat in my office for a quick brainstorm session, and also to read the skill details once more.
[FoodLocker: Trade coins for items of choice.]
Seems pretty straightforward to me, but how do I do the choice thing system?
*Ding*
[Please provide coins before selecting your item]
My face pnted straight down on the wooden table, frustrated at the system’s insufferable way of communicating. Then slowly rotated my face toward the white door. When my eyes and brows twitched.
“Where did that touchscreen come from?!” Almost falling off my chair by how fast I rushed over. Face smooshed right next to it.
I moved my finger over its interface and was rewarded with a pleasant chime.
[Welcome to FoodLocker]
[Please provide coins and select your item]
A small hatch-like, horizontal slot opened beneath the dispy. Complemented by a strange wood grain pattern, that made it look like it was perpetually smiling at me.
Which I’m loving by the way.
The menu was also very easy to navigate… with a hint of the system's signature cp-back.
[Select food]
[Store Food]
[Create Food]
And
[Insufficient Level]
“Of course insufficient, I’m level 1.”
Anyway
I pulled a silver coin from the pouch Lomber had given me, in which I had stored the dwarves extort… I mean “Lodging Fees”. With the added Sir charge perk. And pressed the select food option.
Empty.
“Aaaaah. So that must mean current inventory, gotcha.”
Switching to the create food button instead and was rewarded with a selection of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING, I had ever bought or consumed in my entire lifetime.
I scrolled and scrolled some more. Thoroughly impressed by the intricate organisation. Savoury, sweet and even sections like “I don’t feel like cooking.” Props to the system. It did have some pretty good implementations, even if it was being a snarky little bitch at times.
A clearing of a throat interrupted my attention. Making my head swivel in annoyance.
“Good Sir, we have set ourselves up.” The thicc dwarf pausing uncomfortably. “We have been vexed by a heavenly smell.” His eyes keep twitching to my counter of food, that I had raccooned out of my pantry. “Would you be able to part with this delightful item?”
He held up the carton of Grano, leaving me sck-jawed. “You want… that?”
“Very much so, I-I am happy to pay a fair price. A gold coin, y-yes?”
Holy fucking shit! This dude is about to give me a gold coin for stale old grano, my father probably had in there since my birth.
“Sure, sounds reasonable.”
Not it bloody wasn’t. Sucker!
“Splendid.” Eagerly pulling a pristine looking gold coin from his pouch and this time, pcing it gently into my palm.
Look at that, some people can learn manners after all.
*Ding*
[For fulfilling a prerequisite you have been awarded a unique Skill]
[Unique Skill “Used Car Salesman” unlocked]
I stood there for a bit in the silence between me and the system. Like experiencing a fart in a crowded room and debating if the sound was funnier than the rancid aftertaste.
“Hm.”
[…]
“Ok I’ll admit, that was actually standup material.”
*Ding*
Anyway
I continued to examine the newly acquired skill. Which, if it didn’t make my life better, would have annoyed me quite a bit. Since it’s been cutting into my mealtime with the FoodLocker.
[Used Car Salesman: Prices of goods and services are rated much higher than they actually are]
[Note: Prices fluctuate based on level difference between you and the target]
Target, I like the way that sounds. But enough goofing off, time to get my chow on.
Moving back to the Interface and selecting the only thing I had wanted, ever since yesterday’s tragic incident. Resulting in the loss of not 1, but 2 of my favourite things.
Which shall not be named, due to deep wounds it still caused… just talking about it.
[Selection confirmed: Please provide 1 copper coin]
“Shit, it was that cheap? But also—I don’t have copper.” I flipped my silver coin around my fingers. “Wonder if the dwarves could break a silver to help a brother out.”
No! You’re running a business. Sort of.
How does that look, asking for spare change.
“Does it spit out spare change if I just put it in?”
My stomach interjected, giving me the universal sign of. If you don’t hurry up, I will begin shutting down organs. Which I was not keen on testing out.
The coin slid in, so smooth it barely touched the edges and ended with a satisfying *clink* on the other side.
[Payment Accepted: Please Wait]
My nerves were getting the best of me, as I paced back and forth past the door. Like wait for “it’s a boy” but—food style.
The pantry rumbled, smoke escaping and hissing of valves being stretched out of shape. Followed by the lovely upbeat chime of a Japanese venting machine.
I opened the door and there it was. The chocote king of cakes. Its moist insides competing with its rich decadent fvour. Pced carefully and perfectly on top of a shelf. Waiting for me to enjoy it.
I chuckled as I happily moved it onto my counter, grabbing a fork and suddenly freezing.
“Where’s my change?”