November 2010. Senior Year suddenly shifted from a boring waiting game into a frantic, high-stakes sprint.

  College application season had arrived.

  Jessica and I had spent hours pouring over early admission forms. We made a quiet, unspoken pact to attend the exact same University. I was highly confident my academic record would secure my spot, and despite her bubbly cheerleader persona, Jessica was incredibly smart; her GPA was more than high enough to get her in. Pinning down our college pns felt like throwing an anchor into the future. It meant I wouldn't lose her after graduation.

  But before we could secure the future, we had to survive the present. The state Constitution exam was looming over us. I spent the entire first week of November drilling fshcards with Jessica, hiding out in the library or the cold courtyard.

  When Friday finally hit and the exam was behind us, the relief was palpable.

  "At st... it's over," Jessica groaned, letting her head fall back against the brick wall of the courtyard. "I miss my sophomore days."

  "You miss being a naive kid?" I chuckled, shoving my heavy textbook into my backpack.

  "Yeah!! Senior year completely sucks! It’s nothing but paperwork and stress. It completely takes away my freedom!"

  "What are you talking about, Cheeto? We only have three mandatory csses this semester. The rest are electives."

  "Yeah, but my friends don't have time to hang out anymore," she sighed, pying with the zipper on her jacket. "Everyone is super tense and freaking out about their FAFSA applications."

  "Oh." I paused, tilting my head. "You don’t fill out the FAFSA?"

  She snapped her head toward me, her eyes narrowing defensively. "Don’t mock my parents, Daeron! My dad works hard. They already prepared a college fund for my tuition. What about you?"

  "....." I just stared at her bnkly. The concept of applying for federal financial aid hadn't even crossed my mind.

  "Ah, fuck. Never mind!" she groaned, spping her forehead. "Sometimes I completely forget your parents are loaded. You drive a normal car and wear basic clothes. Why don't you act like a rich kid? You should buy branded stuff and flex on people like the other posh guys at school."

  "For what?" I asked, genuinely confused by the logic.

  "To get girls, obviously! So you don't stay a virgin forever, perhaps?" she teased, her defensive posture melting into a wicked, teasing smirk.

  "That's a great idea. Maybe I should go buy a Gucci belt and try it tomorrow," I deadpanned, leaning in closer to her space.

  "Ohhhh, fuck you!" she shrieked with ughter, hitting my shoulder with a rapid barrage of weak, pyful punches. I just ughed, grabbing her wrists and pulling her in close.

  *

  My world had shrunk down to a popution of one.

  I spent every single second of my free time with Jessica. When she was busy with cheer practice or pretending to care about her other friends, I retreated into isotion. I would sit alone in a café with a novel, or lock myself in my dark bedroom, letting the glow of my television screen numb my brain.

  Sometimes, Alvin refused to take the hint.

  He would actually drive to my house and knock on my bedroom door, trying to drag me back into reality. We would py Xbox for a while, and it almost felt like old times. But the second Alvin brought up Tyson, or tried to push me to come hang out with the boys at the diner, a cold, defensive wall instantly smmed down in my head. I would shut the conversation down immediately and ask him to leave.

  I didn't entirely understand why I was so hostile. The truth was, I felt incredibly ashamed of the monster I had been at the Dojo, and I felt too weird and awkward to just walk back into their circle like nothing had happened.

  I sat on the edge of my bed, listening to Alvin's car pull out of my driveway. It doesn't matter, I told myself, staring at the bnk wall. High school was almost over anyway. In a few months, we would all graduate and scatter. I was bound to find new friends at the University.

  All I needed was Jessica.

  **

  December 2010. The first week of Winter Break was suffocatingly boring. My parents packed their bags and flew to the UK to spend Christmas and New Year's with Julian. They tried to convince me to come with them, but I stubbornly refused. I wanted to stay in here. I wanted to spend Christmas curled up with Jessica.

  But three days before Christmas Eve, my phone buzzed.

  Hey Tiger. My dad just surprised us with a family ski trip! I'm so sorry, but I'm going to be out of town for Christmas. I'll make it up to you when I get back! Promise!

  I stared at the glowing screen, a familiar, bitter anger fring in my chest. Fuck! Why did she always bail on me during the holidays? I threw my phone onto the couch. I was going to be spending Christmas completely, utterly alone.

  *

  By the time Christmas night rolled around, the silence of my massive, empty house was driving me insane. I grabbed my heavy coat and drove to the city center.

  The pza was packed with families and couples watching a live holiday concert. I stood near the back of the square, leaning against a cold stone pnter, nursing a cheap beer and smoking a cigarette to numb the freezing air.

  A shadow fell over me. A massive guy in a thick winter coat stepped out of the crowd and sat down on the edge of the pnter right beside me.

  I gnced over. It was Tyson.

  "Why are you out here all alone, Daeron?" Tyson asked, his deep voice carrying easily over the loud music.

  "Just chilling, man," I answered ftly, taking a slow drag of my cigarette and blowing the smoke away from him.

  Tyson didn't look at me. He kept his eyes fixed on the brightly lit stage. "Look. I’m sorry, man. When you first started pushing us away, I didn't know what the issue was. I only found out the truth recently."

  I frowned, lowering my cigarette. "Huh? What are you talking about, man? Truth about what?"

  Tyson finally turned his head. His dark eyes searched my face, looking for a crack in my armor. He looked hesitant, almost sympathetic. "Wait... are you dating Jessica?"

  My defensive walls smmed down instantly. "No! We’re not dating. We're just friends," I snapped, my voice sharp. "Why the hell are you asking me that?"

  ".... Just a friend?" Tyson pressed, his brow furrowing as he studied my immediate, aggressive denial.

  "Yeah. Just a friend."

  "You’re not hiding anything from me?"

  "…No. Hiding what?" I stared him down, my jaw clenched tight.

  Tyson stared back. I watched the sympathy in his eyes slowly curdle into profound, exhausted disappointment. He realized something in that moment. He realized I wasn't hurting. I was just lying.

  ".... Alright then," Tyson scoffed quietly. He stood up, his massive frame towering over me in the snow.

  "Hey, what’s that supposed to mean, dude?" I demanded, pushing off the stone pnter.

  "Listen to me, Daeron," Tyson said, his voice dropping into a cold, heavy rumble. "If you can’t give, don’t expect to take. Don’t expect trust from your brothers when you can’t even be trusted to tell the truth."

  He didn't wait for my response. He turned around and walked away, his broad shoulders disappearing into the sea of holiday tourists.

  I stood there, the snow falling softly around me, my mind spinning furiously. What the fuck was that about? Trust? Was he mad because he somehow figured out I was hooking up with Jessica? But why would he care so much about that?

  Then, my paranoid brain locked onto a target. Sean. Tyson and Sean had become friendly after the basketball tournament. They respected each other. Tyson had to be spying for Sean! Jessica had warned me that if Sean found out we were fooling around, he would tell her dad and she would be grounded forever.

  That makes perfect sense, I thought, taking another drag of my cigarette. Tyson was fishing for information. Thank God I hadn't cracked. If Tyson and Sean were talking, it was absolutely critical that I kept my mouth shut and protected Jessica's secret.

  **

  January 2011. After a suffocating, isoted Winter Break, the first day of the spring semester felt like stepping out of a prison.

  I didn't care about the csses. The teachers' voices were just white noise. The only thing that mattered was that Jessica was back in the building. When the final bell rang, I waited by her locker. Seeing her bright, familiar smile felt like a physical lifeline.

  "So, where are we going?" I asked, leaning against the metal lockers.

  Her smile faltered. A guarded, nervous expression fshed across her eyes. "Umm… I actually have to go with my friends right now."

  "Oh." My chest tightened. "Alright then."

  She saw my jaw clench. She immediately reached out, cupping my cheeks to soften the blow. "Hey! Don't be mad. I’ll come over and visit your house ter, okay? I just have to grab a quick lunch with them. I’ll buy you pasta and bring it over!"

  "Fine," I sighed, a reluctant chuckle escaping my lips. "But I demand ravioli."

  "Greedy!" she ughed, squeezing my cheeks before hurrying down the hallway.

  A few hours ter, the doorbell rang. Jessica walked into my bedroom carrying a pstic takeout bag, smelling like vanil and cold winter air. She colpsed dramatically onto my bed while I sat at my desk, opening the ravioli.

  "You look exhausted," I noted.

  "I am!" She rolled onto her back, staring at my ceiling. "I feel like the st few weeks of Winter Break were just non-stop. So packed."

  "How so?" I took a bite of the pasta.

  "Because my parents were driving me crazy. They kept bugging me about leaving the house, telling me I needed to stay in and study. Even on Christmas Day, we just stayed home and had a boring family dinner."

  I stopped chewing. My fork hovered over the pstic container.

  "Huh?" I turned around in my chair, narrowing my eyes at her. "Before break, you texted me that your dad surprised you with a family ski trip. You said you were going out of town."

  Panic fshed across her face. She sat up quickly. "Yeah... um... I mean, they canceled it!" she stammered, her hands fidgeting in her p. "The trip got canceled. So we only had a family dinner."

  "...." I stared at her. The silence in the bedroom grew heavy. "... I see."

  "But my cousins came down to visit! That's why I was so busy!" she blurted out, frantically patching the holes in her story. "My cousins and I took a small trip together just us. So... how was your holiday?"

  "Really?" I looked at her, my face completely devoid of emotion. "You bailed on me on Christmas. I spent the holiday completely alone. Remember?"

  She bit her lip, looking incredibly guilty. She slid off the bed, walked over to my desk, and stepped between my knees. "Hey. I’m sorry... I didn't know my cousins were going to show up like that."

  "I don’t care, Jess," I sighed, looking away from her. "You do what you want."

  She didn't argue. She just climbed onto my p, straddling my legs, and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. "Hey... I’m sorry. I really did miss you, Tiger."

  My internal arms were screaming. She's lying. The ski trip, the family dinner, the sudden cousins—none of it made sense. But as she pressed her soft body against mine, the arms were violently drowned out by my own desperate loneliness. I just looked at her, refusing to say the words.

  "Hey..." Her voice cracked. She rested her forehead against mine, her breath warm against my lips. "I wish the situation was different, you know..." She hugged me fiercely, burying her face in my neck. "I really love spending time with you. Don’t you understand?"

  Yeah, I thought, wrapping my arms around her waist. I understand that I can't survive without you. I let the lie slide, burying the truth just to keep her in my arms.