PART TWO h – the Bad Thing

  "Light? Is there a chance I could ask you… something small. But I don't want to run the risk of, you know."

  "Oh. I think. Maybe. Depending, I guess."

  "Its about your mother."

  Her voice got small. Her body nguage instantly changed. She went from starting to look at us normally, to staring at the ground again. Her feet went together and she cpped her knees together. She didn't go to pieces, she just went from the girl that had been crawling back out of her shell, to looking like a small girl all weak and scared. She whispered to the ground.

  "What."

  "In your own words. You told me, your mom would… kick the shit out of you. For instance. You were forced to have dinner. With the rich guy and his asshole kid. You acted up, about the whole thing. You said your mom would take you away from the table, kick the shit out of you then drag you back to the table. To shut up and finish dinner."

  "Yeah. She did."

  "I know this is painful. I'm sorry. When you say, kick the shit out of you. Is that just a phrase, or…"

  "You wanna know what and how."

  "I honestly don't want to. I need to though. If you think you can."

  "She… I'd get spped a couple times. Yelled at. Kinda normal stuff, I guess. Then… she would… kick me around."

  "Actually kick you."

  "Yeah…"

  "So. You would get yelled at, spped a few times. But the main thing was, you got kicked around the room."

  She nodded.

  "When she kicked you. You can kind of… more of put your shoe on something, and push it. Or, you can actually kick it. Like a kickball. Which kind of kick."

  "Oh. Both, really. Some of each. Back and forth."

  "All right. And, where did she kick you. Wherever was handy, or… did she seem to have a sort of target in mind."

  "Um… mostly my stomach. I guess."

  "She kick your face. Mark your face up."

  "No. Never. Just… mostly… stomach."

  "Anywhere else?"

  "Well, you said sort of kick. Push with your foot."

  "Yeah."

  "That… she would, kind of shove me around like that. Around the floor. Yelling. Then, after a while… in the stomach again."

  "So. You got yelled at, spped a few times. Then she throws you down, knocks you down. You get kicked in the stomach, once, couple times. Then you get yelled at, while she pushes you around with her foot. Until the next stomach kicks. That's how it goes. Till its done. That about it?"

  She nodded.

  "Do you need a break."

  She shook her head no.

  "All right. I'm going to say… it. And when I say it, we all know what I mean, right?"

  She sniffled and nodded yes.

  "You were allowed to have a couple drinks with a guy."

  She nodded.

  "Then you had sex. With that st boy."

  Nod.

  "Sometimes, you must have had too much. You woke up ter. You realized, you still had sex with him. Right?"

  Nod.

  "Then. There was that st time. It was different."

  Nod and sniffles.

  "All right. Then you eventually got taken home. Late. Your mom was mad. You got kicked around on the front porch."

  Nod. More sniffles.

  "Did it happen again after that?"

  She shook her head no.

  "You ever get kicked around by mom, for drinking before that?"

  Shook her head no.

  "Only that st time. And she was real mad. Maybe more than usual."

  Nodded yes.

  "It didn't happen again. But, your mom was different. Always mad. Always kicking you."

  Nodded and sniffled.

  "And… you refused to go back for dinner. No more dates. Nothing. Probably got kicked for that, a lot."

  Nodded and sniffled a whole lot.

  "You quit dancing, and you started pying soccer."

  Slightly better. Nodded, but no sniffles.

  "You were good at it. And the better you performed, it was like the more you got kicked around."

  "Yeah."

  "You won your schorship."

  "Oh yeah."

  "Then. You realized, you were bigger now. You were leaving. Never coming back. So, you kicked mom around."

  "Yeah."

  "Like she did you? Same way back."

  "No."

  "Less. Couple goodbye kicks."

  "No."

  "Worse."

  "Oh… yeah."

  "Stomach?"

  "Everywhere."

  "What kind of shoes did you have on."

  "Spikes. Game shoes."

  "Think you broke ribs?"

  "Oh yeah."

  "Face? Head?"

  "Yep. Like a soccer ball."

  "She cough up any blood?"

  "Some."

  "Her face, head swell up."

  "Yeah."

  "You think she pissed herself?"

  "I know she did. I could see the puddle. I kicked her for not going potty, make tinkle."

  "Did you stop then?"

  "No."

  "Do you think she shit herself?"

  "I could smell it. I kicked her for that, too. You're old enough to know go potty, make poomers, mom."

  "How long did this take."

  "I don't know. A while."

  "You yell at her. Tell her why."

  "You really wanna know?"

  "Not really. But I have to."

  "I love you mom… over and over."

  "I could see that. Its fine."

  "I took breaks. You wanna see me dance? I danced. Then told her how much I loved her? Then I showed her. It took a while."

  "She lived."

  "A ghost doesn't buy the clothes."

  "Cops come?"

  "I was on my way out. Someone came and got her."

  "You said you put her in the hospital. Did you just assume that? Or, you knew."

  "News. Internet. When the cops never came? Looked it up in the library computer."

  Her body nguage was a small parade. Starting to talk about her mom and "it", had made her small. Eyes down. Tiny voice. Feet and knees together. She went from short answers, to nods and shakes, then added sniffles. When he got to the first mention of soccer? Sniffles went away. Speech came back. By the time he got to having her describe how she said goodbye to dear old mom? She was coming back and could talk. She actually looked like a cross between a little numb, and a little scary by this point. I know that face. That's her game face.

  He continued after a short break, during which she was silent. No more sniffles. Just clipped speech. She talked at the floor, but the little kid was gone. No more feet together, knees together. The Lightning I knew. Feet wide, knees apart. Elbows on legs, forearms and wrists dangling easily. Confident, ready.

  "You all right to talk?"

  She shrugged.

  "How did you get, from home to the University."

  "Bus."

  "You walk from the bus station to the campus?"

  "Yeah."

  "How long did it take to pack, after saying goodbye to mom."

  "Bags packed. I was ready. Just… said my goodbyes and my I love you's? Picked up the bags… and left."

  "You pnned it."

  "Sure."

  "Your spikes, your legs. Would have been covered in blood."

  "I wiped the spikes off at the bus station, in the bathroom. In the sink. I changed my pants and socks before I left."

  "Anyone at the bus station… say anything? Notice."

  "No. Don't think so."

  "You said bags. Plural. How many bags?"

  "Two gear bags. One in each hand. Backpack. Small shoulder bag."

  "You had money saved up, I guess."

  "Not much. Cleaned mom's purse out. Nice little wad. That ain't stealing. I made that money, not her. I took it. Least she could do."

  "You walk directly to the bus station?"

  "Yes."

  "Been back since?"

  "Never."

  "Have you ever told anyone else this? Hinted at it. Anything. Even suspect you ever did, maybe drinking. Made a joke, anything."

  "Never."

  "Do you want some free advice?"

  "Sure."

  "I don't bme you for what you did. I want you to know that. When a person is putting out bad karma? You just gave her some back. The universe is fine with that. Never feel bad. She got what she deserved. She deserved more, but you were nice about it."

  "Okay."

  "One more question? Then the rest of my advice. I want you to estimate time. How long do you think, from the moment your mom first knew something was up? To the time you saw her head swelled up. Best estimate."

  "My bags were packed, by the door. I said I forgot something. When I got close? I tripped her, and started kicking her. I guess… she would have known it was going bad from the time I tripped her. I'd say… five minutes? Till the head was… didn't really look like her anymore."

  "Fine. Will you take this free advice?"

  "Sure."

  "Your mother? Probably doesn't know what happened. With bad head trauma, and that's what you described. There's a complete bckout. Thing is, the bckout doesn't start at the injury. The bckout starts way before. Ten minutes, twenty minutes. All your mother probably knows? I woke up in the hospital. She might suspect you did it? Or that you had someone else do it? But I don't think she would really know. If she did suspect, she didn't tell the police, or… you would have known. You cleaned the cash out of her purse. Police? With nothing else… probably think it was a theft. I also doubt your mother was very interested in you talking to anyone, to try to expin why. And if I were you? I would never, ever… hint, joke, or mention this to anyone, as long as you live."

  "Way ahead of you. It was just for… therapy."

  "All good."

  I whispered something in his ear.

  "Light? Last thing, honey."

  "Yeah."

  "When you arrived on campus. Check the pce out. You had… parents. Who were those people?"

  "Truth?"

  "If you want."

  "That was my assistant coach. His wife. I… they send you pne tickets, once you're under heavy recruitment. I wanted to look like the other kids. I was over 18. I signed my own schorship. But, when we came for the recruitment tour? I just wanted to be like the other kids. I could at least pretend. I did."

  "Do they know… anything?"

  "What do they know. They know… hell, what everyone else knows about me in town. What I am. And that I'm good at soccer after that. I was 14. Last year of junior high? Junior high girls soccer. Ended up starting before that st year there ended. Last three years, senior high team. Started every year. Got recruited. I used to concentrate on dancing and boys. Around 14? Soccer and schoolwork. Then? Here I am."

  "Thanks. And, I meant what I said. I'd never mention it to anyone else. For obvious reasons. Sorry I had to ask this."

  "Hey. I'm… more or less okay. I'm not going to curl up and cry, I don't think."

  "All right. Can I ask about the party st night? You think that will… trigger you?"

  "I don't think. Ask."

  "When that drunk kid was bothering me. When you got out of the hot tub, and…"

  "When I let him know how much I liked meeting him in my own special way. Yeah."

  "Were you… what do you think would have happened, if other people hadn't of been there."

  "Oh. You mean, do I think I would have… mothered him."

  "Yeah."

  "Nope. I'm a girl. I need that, hello kick in the nuts. Then? Just a friendly little, mother daughter talk kind of thing."

  "Can I ask why you did it?"

  "Truth?"

  "Sure. If you can."

  "I can. Were you going to let him go? Without a reminder not to do that again."

  "He's drunk. I try to… that's the st way I solve things. Not the first thing, not the first thing I try."

  "Yeah. Figured that. I really like Hurry. You too. I enjoy seeing you two together. I don't wanna make Hurry mad? But… I didn't like it. Not one bit."

  "And… when I was talking to your boyfriend, and talking my Army buddies down. You were getting closer to him. I saw it. That's why I took you away just when I did. You were pnning another friendly mother daughter talk, right?"

  "Ex boyfriend. He called me a whore. All the time. And yeah. Another mother daughter little chat."

  "Because… you were mad at him."

  "That. And… I saw Hurry had a beer bottle she picked up. If I take him out. Maybe she gets one with the beer bottle. Odds? Getting better. And, by that time? Hurry… let me… let me pretend you were my boyfriend, too. Talked about maybe more. I liked it. I liked it a lot."

  "Okay. We're done. Thank you. Am I allowed to touch you?"

  She looked up for the first time.

  "You're allowed to do anything you think won't get you in trouble with Hurry. So, yeah."

  He walked around behind her sitting on the chair. Rubbed her shoulders, and her neck some more. Rexed her.

  "When Hurry… now you did…"

  "You like it. Turns you on. She told me. I hope you liked it."

  He ended the little neck and shoulders treatment, with his arms around her from behind. He all but whispered into her neck, but just loud enough for me to hear it.

  "Loved it actually."

  "I guess if you wanna show me how much you loved it? It'll have to wait for our third date to be over. I mean, if you can talk after I'm done with you and all. I do tend to tucker a boy out. Kinda my thing."

  "I can't wait."

  "Same here. And it feels weird? Waiting. But… its something new."

  He gave her some mild to moderate neck and shoulders while he mentioned the next thing.

  "Light? If you don't mind, and if you do? Just say something. I’d like to talk to Hurry. We'll leave you here, if you think you'll be all right. We're not talking shit on you, you have my word. Think of it as… military police investigator dude? Wants a one on one, with your therapist. Are you okay with that?"

  "Its my choice?"

  "It is."

  "Okay. Question."

  "Anything…"

  "Who do the military police work for."

  "In this rare instance? The… former military police dude, has been hired by the therapist. To work on her behalf and help her. And, since the therapist works for, and answers only to you? I answer to the therapist. Which means I answer to you as well, just through her."

  "Okay."

  "A word, therapist girl?"