PART TWO t – the Bad Thing

  "Hmm. Lets go back. You're at a party. You're working a boy. You got him, eating out of your hand. You're in charge. He has to ask you. You? Get to decide. Right?"

  "Yeah. But then…"

  "See? But then. You just don't let… but then? Happen. If you walked in the room, and set those boundaries? That, could be one of the boundaries. After the no slut, no whore rule? You could have said… I decide when and where we fuck. We fuck how I say. Got a problem with that? I bet he's fine. If he says no? You walk. He either begs you to stay, and agrees? Or. You have to be prepared to walk. And remember… if you walk. He gets asked. What happened with that girl? Oh, that. Now? Two more hear about your boundaries. You do it again? More know."

  "Hmm. My thing seems to be… I'm good in bed. Then I get called a whore for it. Its not fair."

  "Want advice?"

  "Hell yeah."

  "You already know, how Army boy went."

  "Yeah, I know. Same old."

  "Imagine it. That first day? Man, he saw a video of you practicing. He was head over heels. On his best behavior. Asking for permission to take you out. Promised to have you home at a decent hour. Now… didn't that feel good?"

  "Oh. Hell yeah. That's why I go get another, I think. I can find them. Its great. Then? Pffft."

  "Now lets try it my way. Let's use Army boy as an example. You had him, at first."

  "Oh. Yes ma'am, no ma'am. Opening doors. Pulling my chair in and out. Standing up every time I stand up or sit down. Runs to get me a drink and put it in my hand, I don't even have to ask. Hey honey, I'm getting a burger. You want one? Sure. What do you want on it, I'll get it. I'm already over here. We were at the… fishing? Little cold on the water at night. He put his hoodie around my shoulders. It was… magical."

  "Then. It changed."

  "Sure did. I wanted to show him a good time. I was happy. I… can swallow it all, you know. I did. He was raving about it. Then? It started. Wait a minute. Where did you learn how to do that? I taught myself on a hot dog. Then? Oh. Heard you fshed your tits at the bar, two months ago. Then? Its not a blowjob, its… a whore-job."

  "Look. You do what a lot of girls do. You let the boy be in charge. Now, some you can do that. Some? Well, you can see how good they are at being in charge."

  "Yeah."

  "Okay. So, while you're in the magic. That first day. You take him outside. You? Listen up. I don't get called a whore. Or a slut. I'm good in bed? You don't make fun of me for it. You just enjoy it. I like to dress sexy for you. Enjoy it. And right there. I bet that stuff never would have happened. You're letting the boy be in charge, and he's not good at it."

  "I don't wanna be one of those mean girls. You see them. Always bitching. Always nagging. Always ordering the guy around. Always making fun of him. Maybe its fun for her? The guys aren't having fun. They just put up with it."

  "Do I do that?"

  "No. That's just it. You don't bitch, you never nag. And he… well? He seems like he worships the ground you walk on."

  "Hmm. Part of that, I think its because I grew up on a farm. All my friends? I pyed wiffle ball. Tackle football. I hated dolls and dollhouses and tea parties. I grew up with all boys for friends. I didn't realize it until I was older, but… I think I picked up a lot from them. Without knowing it. Just happened."

  "Like what?"

  "That's just it, Light. No one thing. Just, a whole bunch of little stuff. It adds up. Those weren't boyfriends. They were boys, that were actual friends. I was actually, one of the boys. I dressed like they dressed. I rode dirt bikes. Then… the little stuff."

  "Like what. Tell me."

  "Okay. I'm 10, or 12. Its… starting. I'm not around girls. All boys. Boys my age. Younger boys. Older boys. One boy? Asks. How do you ask a girl out? Older one tells him. Dude. You gotta just… walk right up, and ask her. Then? Boys tease each other, but. They're really honest with each other. You girls? Don't get to see that part. You see them out. Being the man. I got to see where it came from."

  "So…"

  "Yeah. When it came time for me? 14. I walked right up to that boy. At the pool. I wanted a make out boyfriend. Turned out? He was behind his friends. He wanted a make out girlfriend. We both did. But yeah. I learned off the boys. You gotta walk right up and ask. Now, they admit it, after some teasing. Dude? I know its scary. But… you gotta do it. A couple times, and one says yes. A couple yes times? Your balls drop."

  "Wow. So…"

  I ughed.

  "Yeah. My tits dropped, I guess."

  We both ughed.

  "Tell me more…"

  "Everything. Take kissing."

  "That's… wow. Not being mean, you? Kiss like a boy."

  "Yeah. One younger boy. Asked how do you kiss a girl? Same thing. I'm growing up. I'm… one of the boys. I didn't realize it, but… I'm hearing this over and over. You just, grab them? Kiss them. You don't get spped? You did good. They sp? You let them go. Apologize. Move on. Next one will be fine."

  "Wow. That's why you're so confident. Just like a boy."

  "I guess."

  "Keep going. I'm taking notes here."

  "Its everything. Hey, I lied to so and so. I feel bad. Dude, just own up to it. Apologize. Don't be a bitch. You tell him, you apologize. He forgives you. Life goes on. So? When I fuck up. When I'm wrong. You don't py… some girly word game. You just… own up to it. Move on. Like your therapy. Man, I'm gonna be the therapist. I'm in charge. I'm gonna help. I'm reading about it, in csses getting lectured on it. No boys. Girl's been… no boys. You're serious. No jokes. Be professional. You saw how that all went…"

  "Tell me."

  "No boys? You wanted him there. No jokes? He's cracking jokes. You did it back. It… broke the ice. I thought I knew something? He did this before, or something like it. I couldn't even hold my tummy. Him? He sat there. I already apologized to him. Admitted it. That's why I asked you to forgive me. Now, would most girls do that?"

  "Nope. Make some bullshit up."

  "Boys, real boys. Don't do that. Maybe a little, then they call each other on the bullshit. And they ugh, and own up to it. They don't dig their heels in, and make up more bullshit. Until it flies. That's… what I saw girls do. A boy does that? The other boys make fun of him. Dude, you're being a bitch. Don't be a girl about it. Be a man."

  "So. That's how you…"

  "Only thing I can figure. And… can I talk about parents? I don't want you to think…"

  "No. Its fine. Go on. I know I missed out. Tell me what I missed out on."

  "A girl starts out. Daddy's little girl. He spoils his little princess. Then? She goes back to mommy at some point. Sees how mommy, works daddy. Handles him. The pouting, the mouth. Daddy can't hit a girl, not like a boy. You get more spoiled. Mom shares how to… handle dad. You work together. Then? You get around other girls that had that… then, wow. It really takes off. You end up with? Look around you."

  "Its shit."

  "It is. Now? Internet. Girls know more games than ever. They're all in on it. And the boys? Internet. They're pying games now too. The bad boy bullshit. They all pull that. Dude. You gotta be the man. She'll wet her pants. Dude, read this. Now what do we got. Girls, all running the show game. Running around, fucking bad boys. Using the show boy, for all he's worth. Getting another show boy. While they…"

  "There you go. They're the real whores. I'm not. I might be a slut, but I'm not a whore. I… lost girlfriends when I was young. 14? I'm alone. No girls, and now no boys. Nothing. I had to… I practiced in my garage. Sat there, and actually talked to my soccer ball. Put it on a bench, and actually talked to it. Pretended it talked back to me."

  I know when to shut up, and let the client go. I know that much. Poke them, and let them go.

  "No. I shared. Your turn. What did the ball tell you."

  "Oh. Why am I alone. What's wrong with me. Why is it like this."

  "What did the ball say."

  "Its silly."

  "Go on. I'm a girl, and I learned not to be a little bitch. Be a man about it. You talked to a ball. So what."

  "Here you are. Just me and you. You thought you were so cool, didn't you. All your girlfriends, all those older girls? All impressed. Boys, sports cars. Wearing whatever you felt like. 12 years old, dating boys with a new sports car. Old enough to buy beer. Dancing and everyone cpping, as you danced around the keg. Told you how pretty and sexy you are. You thought you were so cool. Got older girls, they had to come to you. Hey, I need a bag of weed. I need a case of this. I need a bottle of that."

  "Keep going."

  "Ball asked me. Where did it get you. Where's the boys at now. We walked here. We walk back home. Where are your girlfriends now. They dropped you. Won't talk to you. Boys think you're dirt. Girls are worse. Here we are, all alone."

  "What did the ball tell you. Whatever it said? It sure worked."

  "Ball told me. Here we are. You. Me. Alone. I'll never leave you. I love you. We're a team. I can't do anything without you. You? Can't do anything now, without me. Get good with me. We have each other. That's all there is now. Now kick me some more. I like it. Put me in that hole again."

  "Go ahead, Light. You know I won't tell. He won't tell. Share it."

  "I was 12. I went from… dressed for the country club? To… little hooker. Traded my teddy bear? For boys with new sports cars. My ball? My teddy bear. I slept with it. I tucked it in. When no one was around? I talked to it. It was like it answered me. I could rub my hands on it, like a crystal ball? It told me what to do. I hugged it. I kissed it. It wanted kicked. By me. It liked it. It wanted more."

  "Did it lie to you?"

  "No. It said we have each other. That's all we get. That's all you need. Boys, dating, getting married? All gone now. You need to get some grades, whatever you can get. And py with me. That's all there is now. You want out of here. I want out of here. Take me with you. I did. Ball? Right there on my bed. Go look. I hug it every night to fall asleep, and I wake up with it. I don't kick it anymore. Its my teddy bear."

  "The ball tell you how to handle… stuff?"

  "Yeah. You can't do anything about it. Ignore them all, they don't matter. The girls? Are worse than the boys. Just me and you kid. We're getting out of here. You can have boys again, when we get out. How fucking crazy am I."

  "Not crazy at all. I talked to a damn horse. Yeah. I did the horse's voice. You had a soccer ball for a teddy bear. Its fine. Does the ball still talk to you? You never bring boys back."

  "No. I want to, but. Its bad enough the way it is. Bring a boy back, let him see me talking to a ball? So I can fall asleep, like a girl holding a teddy bear? Nah. He tells me, its all right. Go on. Go get another boy. When it goes bad? Its fine. Come back to me. And? I do."

  My tiny buzz? Dissipated. I'm sober. She had less than me, she's long sober. This? Is all real therapy. I realized, her joke had become real. She was running a little rape clinic. She had her clothes on, I did too. The slut? Was in the middle between us. We were in charge. We had our clothes on. He was naked. He did whatever we said.

  The internet wasn't happy until it "named" every single thing it possibly could, for sex acts. You can practically string together X-rated terms? And there's already an acronym for it. It was already a sexually charged moment, and we all three already felt it. He was the slut in the middle. Naked, and the two girls guarding him and poking and prodding at him on either side of him? Had their clothes on. It was deliciously yummy and sexy to me, and I suppose to Little Lightning as well, she seemed to have the same silly smile I was wearing.

  Me or Light, would have taken the normal girly girl twenty minutes to describe the cool vibe if we were asked to recount it. Which is romantic to a girl in some way. The internet? Robbed us of even that guilty pleasure. Instead of going through the satisfying twenty minutes to adequately describe this cool vibe we had going, no way. The internet simply stopped you and procimed it… CFNM.

  Clothed Female, Nude Male. I mean, is it an accurate definition of whats going on, if you had to sum it up quick? I guess so, but… hardly as satisfying as the previous girl ritual of the big long romantic expnation of the "cool vibe". A couple of letters capitalized, just doesn't get it for my money's worth.

  I suddenly noticed. While she was talking? She had been idly tugging on his interest meter. He was blindfolded. Naked. And he was hugging onto her, for dear life. The way she had hugged him before. She had a little rubber ring on her hand, a vibrator. It reduced him to a squirming hot mess. He clutched onto her, and buried his face into her neck, and silently begged for more. She had all her clothes on, like I did. The slut? Wasn't her. The slut was in the middle.

  I had another breakthrough, therapy wise. Did it completely the wrong way, but it worked. He was here, he had to be. He was the only boy, who didn't judge her. For what she was. She was his calendar girl. She was somehow perfect, even though she felt the complete opposite. I was somehow perfect, too. I was the other calendar girl. He? Had both calendar girls, sharing him. Boyhood fantasy come true.

  We propped our heads up, and had him between us. We took turns pying with him. In time, he turned into a writhing hot mess. I expined to her. He can't finish, not really. He can't get soft. And just look at him. He was wrapped around her, squealing into her neck. Begging for a release, that wouldn't come.

  "You're in charge now, Light. Look. He can't finish. He can't go soft. This goes on? As long as you say. He's the slut. In the middle of the bnket. We? Do what we want. And just look at him… does he look like he's not having fun? He loves every second of this."

  "Yeah."

  "Do something for me?"

  "Sure."

  "We're alone. Right's staying with Lida. Go to your room. Get your ball. I'll keep your spot."

  She went and got her ball. She put it between us, too. She made him make noise, and he was holding onto her for dear life. She smiled, and told him to hold onto her ball. He now had to hug and clutch that, while she worked him slowly, little vibrator on her finger, and reduced him to a hot mess.

  She teased him. Made him hug and kiss her ball.

  "See this? This doesn't have to be just me. You could have this. That first night? You set your boundaries. While they're eating out of your hand. If you want to try being in charge? You just make it a boundary. I say when we fuck. I say, how we do it. You think that first night, they're going to say no? And if they do? Whatever. You know there's no end to them. I know how it was. The boy, has the car. He picks you up. He decides things. Doesn't have to be like that. Am I not in charge?"

  "You are. I can't believe this."

  "He wasn't happy. He was the… show. He went away? Yeah. He was the bad boy. Didn't really like that either. It was better, but it wasn't complete. So? He decided he wanted something different. He decided, he likes tall strong girls. Tomboys. Maybe, we're different. When he got to me? Hell. I wanted something different. I'm not like other girls. You know that."

  "You're… like a boy. In charge. Confident."

  "But… you see other girls. Bitching, nagging. That's a person that's spoiled. Not in charge, not really. They're pretending. Me? Its natural. From the moment I meet a boy? I suggest things. If he doesn't like it? Whatever. I'm willing to wait. I found one, that was fine. For him, for me. Now? I got another one. He wanted something… different. I'm different. He'd never been with a girl that gently decides things. He likes it."

  "And… he's not weak. He's… strong."

  "He is. But… that first night?"

  "Yeah."

  "I told him what I expected. Told him what I wouldn't put up with. Then, while it was still magical? I did what I wanted. With him. To him. And… I just kept him there. And, as you can see… still here. Works fine, for us."

  "It does."

  "He listens to my voice. Not other boys, not other girls. With… all their great advice. Just like tonight. You? Issued the commands. You were in charge. Now, other girls? They get what they want, and they don't care. But, when you're in charge? Its not just about getting what you want. You have to take responsibility, too. You get the horse listening to your voice. And, you do nice things for the horse. Next thing you know? The horse does what you want, with a finger touching it. Easy. And, you do your part. You do nice things for the horse, without being asked."

  "He likes this…"

  "Duh."

  "When do we…"

  "Oh. When I feel like it. This? Is nothing. I'm going to make him beg."

  "I'm usually the one begging."

  "Let's change that. You want your third date?"

  "Yeah. I do. Then… I can…"

  "Yeah. Light? You don't… you don't have to py with us. To pay for getting your help. Its not like that, at all. But if you like it, if you want it? Its there for you. You don't owe us. You don't have to pay, with your body. Just like my help is free? This is free, too."

  "Oh. I want it. Trust me, I do."

  "And you can be in charge. Gently, like I do. You can get anything you want. When you want it. How you want it."

  "This is fun. But…"

  "But what?"

  "I'm not like you. This is fun, but… I guess I like… you know. Being in the middle?"

  "Oh. Sure. You think I'm like this all the time? No. Once a week? I want bent over and made to walk funny. And you know what? I get it."

  "Hmm. I think I want it like that, most of the time. Then? Like you said. Once a week."

  "No. I get it. You like being in the middle. Fine. When you want him in the middle? That's fine too. But, remember. Its because you want it. Not because that's the way it is, or has to be. And as you can see…"

  God, he was wrapped around her, squealing into her neck.

  "He likes it. Just fine."

  "How did you…"

  "The boys at home? Small town. Farms. Old fashioned. Those boys… they didn't talk about girls, not the way the football pyers talk. And you know what I mean. The quarterback? His townhouse?"

  "Oh god. Its just… disgusting. The kitchen table club…"

  "Yeah. That pce. The girls? They go there. Like groupies, getting backstage with rock stars. Whatever you boys want. You're in the band, here I am. Tee hee."

  "After what I went through? I won't set foot in that townhouse. And they are like… groupies. For the band. They… everyone knows. They brag about it. The girls brag too. They bring their friends over, and they can't wait to get it. Oh. Its all, my body, my rules. Then they go there? Whatever you boys want. Here I am. Tee hee."

  "I won't set foot in that townhouse either. You just grab a girl, and rape her. Right in the ass, right over the kitchen table. Everyone ughs, its a big joke. Its disgusting."

  "So, how did you…"

  "I don't get hammered at mixers. You know that. I'm hearing the conversations. Dude. Just put it in her ass, she'll love it. They all do. Be the man, she'll love it. Then? They trade the girls. Or… have them walk around in their underwear all day and all night. Why the girls like it? I don't know. And we all know, they…"

  "You can say it. The girls? Go on the bnket. And they not only like it? They brag about it."

  "Yeah. It started out as a joke, me and him. Hey. I'm the quarterback. You? Are my groupie. It was just a game."

  "No. I get it. Trust me, I know fun games. If it sts more than a weekend? Yeah, sure. That was your fun game."

  "Well? Here we are. We're sharing. Our groupie. He doesn't look like he's hating this, does he now."

  "Nope."

  "I guess… when its a game, when its for fun…"

  "Wow. You're right back in my world now."

  "How's that?"

  "Good sex… rape… as long as you like the person? That's the only real difference. You're proving my point for me. Those girls? Would be screaming rape. But, because they like it? Oh, its suddenly different."

  "Yeah. And boys and girls? Can be a lot alike. Look at this one… we have a little groupie. He loves it."

  "I see this."

  She ughed, and I asked her what.

  "Oh. Nothing. Just… another joke."

  "What. Jokes got therapy going. I can't tell you no."

  "Well. Me, you. Sharing a groupie. He's loving it. All we need now?"

  "What."

  She giggled.

  "The townhouse to ourselves one night? Kitchen table club. Think he'd go for that one?"

  "You could ask him anything right now. Hey… we're in the band. You wanna hang out in the trailer with us? You know what you gotta do, right?"

  We could have asked him to be set on fire, he'd nod his head yes. He just held onto her, she was tugging and vibrating without giving it a thought, while we talked.

  "Is this… part of my therapy?"

  "Anything can be. When the mixer happens? We'll have the pce to ourselves all night. Kitchen table club. Then… you wanna run a little rape clinic? We'll throw a bnket in the living room. Look at the ring. Can't finish. Stays up."

  "Ha. 12 hours… of begging… while the bad girls in the band? Do whatever they want, with the little groupie that wants to be in their tour bus."

  "That could be your therapy."

  She kissed him now. Told him how he was a bad little boy. We took turns. I kissed him like I do. She did it her way. When it seemed like he couldn't take it any more? We still had our clothes on. I got her up, and put him on the floor. Made it a fun game, for him to beg. For a third date. She didn't know. Maybe. He was beside himself. He begged me, shamelessly. To finish, for release. He had to beg her, equally shamelessly, for a third date.

  "Now. Watch this. I've already had our third date, so…"

  "No. Go ahead."

  I got undressed, and I got on top. I teased, and I rode. I started, stopped, and did whatever I wanted. Then, when he went nuts? I rode him fast and hard, ughing at all the noise and commotion. When I was done, I sat on his face. I wiped off and used his face as my napkin, and id back and got more. I stifled the screams and begging, by covering his face with me, and what I wanted. Then? I gave him to her. What did she want. Take it. She wanted him to have the rubber ring, and to py with her. She clutched and held on, while he gave her that. What she wanted. And he squealed and begged into her neck the entire time.

  Then, we got him on the floor again, and got more begging, Lots of it. To finish, to be allowed to have a third date. We eventually put him back on the bed. Sluts go in the middle. She giggled, and had him kiss and hug her ball. Beg it, to be allowed to finish. Then eventually, the ball allowed. We were temporarily somehow reduced to little girls, pying innocently with a little boy. He had to beg while clutching onto the ball, and ask the ball for permission to finish. We giggled and had him hold onto it during his release, and even thank it directly afterwards. The adult sexual version of dipping his hair into the inkwell.