PART ONE a – the Party

  "Oh my god…"

  We both wanted to know "what"… she smiled and giggled.

  "You both have that silly smile on your faces. I was going to ask if you had fun for your birthday, Wizzy. But I can see you did."

  Lightning smiled at me now.

  "What does Wiz like on his pizza?"

  We both ughed.

  "I see Miss Moodypants is still disappeared?"

  That was zy whore number three.

  "Still out decorating some criminal's room with used condoms, I guess."

  Light giggled.

  "Better there than here, right?"

  We all ughed. You tried, and just when you could tolerate her in some fashion, she'd act up and ruin your growing mild appreciation for her antics. It was as if she didn't want to be liked.

  "So. What were you guys talking about, before I so rudely interrupted you two. Anything fun?"

  "Hmm. Not so much, dear. You know I really like my naughty little boy here. We were talking about taking him home to meet my parents over holiday break."

  "Christ Hurry. I thought you liked the poor guy. If you want rid of him? Just do it the polite way, and break up with him. Taking a guy to meet your parents? That's just enjoying torturing him. Wiz? I honestly thought Mama Bear really liked you. But… if she really liked you? She'd lie, and pretend her parents died in a car wreck."

  "Lightning, really. You sound like him now. Like there's no hope it can go okay."

  She gave me the look, and shrugged.

  "Hurry? You've been my big sister how long now?"

  "Over a year."

  "Am I allowed to have an opinion? Or… I'll let you go."

  I nudged him, sitting quietly in front of me.

  "My little sister here? Is my… consultant. On how normal girls see the world. Me, you already know… I'm an insufferable cunt. Its a new hobby of mine, to try to appreciate the rest of the world. Go ahead, Light."

  "Okay. But you're not going to like it, I don't think. No more than you like everything else. Wizzy? You know your girlfriend grew up on a farm. She went to church. She ran around with boys, pying tackle football and riding dirt bikes and horses. She didn't ride the farm boys, like the other farm girls did. She was one of the guys."

  "I know. I'm pretty sure, that's what I love about her."

  I dribbled in.

  "Don't forget. I hung out with the girls one year. Didn't like it… at all. Went back to hanging out with the boys. Living here? This is the second time I tried being one of the girls."

  "Oh. He knows about…"

  "Yes. He knows the basic plot line. He knows I'm embarrassed to be one of the girls."

  "Okay Wizzy. That makes this easier. Hurry doesn't like… the whole game. She's determined to study the rule book, and try to make her own pybook up from the rest of the girl team. To find a better way of doing things."

  "Hmm. And how does my girlfriend do, trying this."

  Lightning shrugged and smiled easily, supporting herself leaning back on the sink with her hands behind her.

  "Not bad. She doesn't py much, but she goes in the game here and there. You? Are the second time we've seen her py. And, I might add… thanks for putting that silly smile on her face that I'm seeing."

  "Not a problem. I had fun putting it on her face."

  Lightning smiled.

  "Oh… you put it on her face, huh?"

  "Is he blushing, Light? He blushes…"

  She smiled.

  "Yeah, he is. You found another one, did you?"

  "Yeah. I did."

  He piped up.

  "Another one, what."

  "Another… whatever she is. Whatever you are. One of the people in this world who don't just follow the rest of the herd to the water hole. Most animals that don't follow the herd? Don't drink. They learn to do without. But some? They find a way. To do things their way. Hurry? What are you averaging now. One a year?"

  "Something like that…"

  "I'm sure you noticed, Wizzy. Hurry here, she's a little old fashioned. She's choosy about boys. One a year, instead of one a month. She's serious about it, too. We're all afraid to so much as look at you. Any girl gives you the eye? They get the… Hurricane treatment."

  I had my magic washrag again. Clockwise. I wrung warm water over his head from behind.

  "Pretty basic idea. This? Is mine. It belongs to me."

  "I know, Hurry. Wizzy? I'm amazed she lets you out of the townhouse before csses start…"

  We all giggled.

  "But, that wasn't what we were talking about. Hurry? You were asking my opinion on meeting the parents, right?"

  I sighed.

  "Yeah…"

  "Wiz is a guy. Wiz… you've met the girlfriend's parents before. It ever go okay?"

  "Hmm. In high school? Yeah."

  I interjected.

  "Poor Wiz here? He got to be the show boyfriend."

  Little Lightning got bored with leaning back on the sink. She dropped the lid and sat on her porcein throne. Long legs spread out like a boy would, elbows on her knees, hands hanging down between her legs somewhat.

  "Ouch."

  He answered her.

  "Yeah. Ouch three times, pying that game."

  "Christ almighty, Wiz. You're a bright guy. I didn't have you figured for stupid. Why did you keep going back for more? Why didn't you just do what the guys did that were having fun, pying the field. Jesus, Wiz. You're only young once. Don't waste it."

  "He didn't have friends that pyed that game. So? He got to be the show boyfriend, three times in a row."

  "I can imagine what you think of girls now, Wiz. Hurry? Am I allowed to ask him what his honest opinion is?"

  "Go on dear, answer her truthfully. You won't make me mad. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be proud of your answer, hun. Don't hold back."

  "If you're sure, honey…"

  "Go ahead."

  "Lightning? Present company excluded, of course. Girls? Pretend to be all sweet and innocent, but… they're a bunch of lying, sneaking, backstabbing, morally bankrupt cunts. And that's the so called good girls. The bad girls? Hell, at least they're honest about it."

  Lightning sighed.

  "I won't argue with you. That's fair. How did girls in uniform turn out? Curious."

  "First girlfriend? Sweet, innocent little girl in uniform. Secretary in the computer department I worked in. Until I got showed her true colors. Same deal there. I was the show boyfriend. Again. Paying for dates and dinners, while she ran around and took it any way she could get it."

  "Christ, some guys never learn."

  "Oh no, Light. I quit pying that game."

  "What game did you py, then. You still talk to girls."

  "I lived with the Military Police. Which is who told me what my little girlfriend was up to. I ran with them after that."

  "Oh. I wondered where you got the tough guy streak in you from. Good god, none of us could believe it. When we saw you with your Army buddies. Half of this damn Vilge we live in, is female athletes, Wizzy. The gossip spread like wildfire. Toot's a tough guy! Holy shit! Wizzy, why would you hide something like that. You could have been dating anyone you wanted, just about. Why spend your freshman and sophomore year, like some kind of… monk."

  "Permission to speak freely…"

  I wrung the magic washrag over his head again. It's magic was back, it got recharged.

  "Permission granted."

  "And what would that get me, Little Lightning. Huh? A string of fun humps, with a bunch of whores. Gee, I could have some fun, and get herpes. No thanks. If a girl doesn't like me for who I am, she doesn't deserve my time or effort. I'd rather jack off, and go py video games on the weekend, with the computer crew."

  "Wow."

  "Wow what?"

  "Faced with the game and the way its pyed today? Boys turn out different ways. Some, keep being the show boyfriend. Figuring they'll get lucky sooner or ter, and end up a show husband. Lots of guys go that route. Some guys? Just give up. Turn gay, or… just go to pieces and turn into a… I don't know what. A loner, with other loner friends. Some guys take advantage of it, and turn into another bad boy pyer."

  "You forgot the other option. Take your game and stick it. I can do my own thing. And Light? Once again, present company excluded. I don't mean any offense to you, personally."

  "Oh. Its fine. None taken. Question though… which one am I?"

  "I meant what I said, about bad girls being morally superior to good girls. At least you're honest about the way things are."

  "Hmm. Thanks. Hurry here, she kind of uses me. For insight into how… regur girls operate, I guess. You wanna know how the high school game pys out, here on campus?"

  "I already know. The show boyfriend game is now all over the campus. Just a bunch of sluts running around, going wild. A handful of so called pyers? Running around having fun giving themselves herpes and god knows what else. A whole bunch of guys getting used like tampons and thrown away. Smaller groups of guys sitting around, wondering what the hell's going on. That's my little computer world. We're pying video games, watching all you people burn Rome down. It took thousands of years to make it and perfect it? You're burning it down, in a couple short generations. Thanks."

  "That's about it. You sound like Hurry here. I can't argue with any of that. You never tried having fun though?"

  "Aw. Running around with the MP's in the service? I guess I did. Doesn't mean I liked it."

  I took over smoothly.

  "Our sweet little Wizzy? Was the show boyfriend in high school three times. He got to see how the other side lives, being a tough guy, with the military police. He didn't realize he'd turned into a polite bad boy. Tell her what you liked, dear."

  His voice got soft.

  "Latinas. We were down in southern Texas. Lots of cute Latinas running around. I speak Spanish, so…"

  Lightning was happy for him.

  "Oh! Good for you, Wiz. You bought a pack of rubbers and lived a little. That wasn't… better?"

  "A little. I guess. Can't get a retionship that way, and that's what I was looking for, not just a wet dick. The st year, year and a half? I went… warrior monk, I guess. I rejected the whole game, and learned to just work on myself. Work on my goals. Which is what I'm doing here at your university. I'm more interested in getting my degrees, than getting herpes."

  Lightning ughed, and it was genuine.

  "You're something else, Wiz. They really broke the mold when they made you."

  I heard his voice go soft again.

  "No, Lightning. Life was molding me, like cy. Into this, into that. The mold, though? Found me. Took me in. I was changing. From what I started out as? And into something completely different. He… made me. With my permission. We both worked on the final design in cy. And he… fired me in the oven. Baked the cy into the final form you see before you. Half what I was, half what I had turned into."

  "I see. The head… monk, I guess."

  "Yeah. The head monk. Took me under his wing. It was a great honor. As you can imagine, the military police are not a bunch of wallflowers. They have men there that teach them how to be… military police. The head monk, as you call him? He taught all the teachers. Like I said. Spending a year and a half with him… well, it was a great honor. You people around campus? You look at people, and you see intellectuals. You see jocks. He was both. I asked to be like him. He granted me that honor."

  I piped up, hearing his soft voice.

  "The head monk? Is dead now, Light. He misses him, like his own father died."

  "Sorry to hear that, Wizzy."

  "Yeah. It is what it is. If more men followed what he was taught? We could save western civilization, from burning down. But… here we are."

  "What did he teach? In a nutshell. What would he write, on a fortune cookie. That someone would read, and take home and frame it. Live their life by it. Tell me."

  The soft voice was gone. Confident now. Not loud, just confident.

  "Any society that separates its schors, from its warriors? Is destined to have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools."

  "Wow. That's… profound."

  "Of course it is. He was quoting Thucydides. Another great man among you mere mortals, that existed and lived thousands of years ago. He helped make Greece the light of the ancient world. You and your kind, the sheep in this world? Your victory over the modern world, will not be complete. Until the st one of us, that follow the true path to enlightenment, have id down and died."

  "Sounds like a religion, Wizzy."

  His answer was confident and quick.

  "It is."

  "Oh. Where do you go, when you die."

  "When I close my eyes for the st time? I'll meet him in Valhal. Where the brave that were granted and retained honor, live forever."

  I looked at her and smiled, shoveling my hand at him. Silently asking, do you see what I have, right here? Magic washrag. Clockwise, always clockwise.

  "Holy shit. I've heard this before…"

  I asked simply "where".

  "The Army boys. They all have posters of Vikings up on their walls. He's making more of them, I guess…"

  "Damn straight, I'm making more of them. If I don't pass on what I've been privileged to be graced with? I wouldn't deserve to have it."

  "Tell Lightning what I am to you. I never get tired of hearing it, dear."

  He tugged my hand, gently.

  "I've pleased Odin. He directed his son, Thor. Who's wife leads the Valkyrim. That I'm now worthy, to be sent my very own Valkyrie. When a warrior has been granted his very own Valkyrie? He has what he needs to see him through this mortal life. To fulfill his final purpose, whatever it might be."

  "Okay, Viking boy. Shush up for a second. Your Valkyrie is talking to her friend, you know."

  "Yes, dear."

  "Hmm. So, Light… did you have fun with Army boy?"

  "Yeah… fun's over."

  "Already."

  "Yeah. Apparently, I've had too much fun before I met him. We had words. So? I gave him the talk."

  "Oh. How did that go…"

  "Fine. We're okay. Just not working out, that's all."

  "Where's Right?"

  "Still having fun."

  "I thought you said you were both…"

  "I thought so, too. Apparently, she wants some more fun time. Before her… talk."

  "Everything okay?"

  "Eh. He's adult about it. We're fine. I got called a wench, by the way."

  "Oh. Is that bad?"

  "No. Apparently not. But, there's… Valkyrie, which you apparently are, by the way. And wenches, which is me."

  "And Right?"

  "Oh. She didn't mind being called a wench. She's having some more fun being a wench, as we speak."

  "What do wenches do, you suppose."

  "Well. One of the things wenches are good for? Making burgers for the boys. You should see her down there. She's in the kitchen, pretending she can actually cook. Because its just burgers. I walked home."

  "What else do wenches do…"

  "Burgers. Bring the guy beer. I mean, go figure what wenches do afterwards. She giggles and likes it. For now, anyways. Here I am."

  "You okay, hun?"

  "Sure. Another guy. It was fun while it sted. I tried. We didn't fight about it, we just had the talk. We're good. Hey, wait a minute. We were talking about Wizzy meeting your parents."

  "Oh. We were."

  "Yeah… Wizzy. You didn't like the idea, did you."

  "What. Been there, done that one. I can pretend to be daddy's little scared bitch, or I can be a disrespectful little asshole, and put him in his pce. Nothing good comes out of it. Why go through it."

  Lightning now shoveled her hand at what he just said.

  "There you go, Hurry. He has a great handle on things. Hate to say it? You should take that advice, and avoid it like the pgue."

  "Why?"

  "What, you trying to lose this year's guy already? Let's say he treats daddy like a bitch and kisses his ass. You? Lose all respect for him. Let's say he tells your dad off, and gets away with it. Now? You hear about it from your family, and you'll take it out on him. What do you even want out of it. And what if shit goes bad, Hurry. What if he bops your dad in the nose, huh? What if your dad bops him in the nose. Either you'll hate him, or he'll hate you. Your family? Will damn sure hate him, no matter what happens. Hurry… I kind of admire your whole… thing. Trying like hell, to be a good old fashioned girl, while trying to be the modern, independent woman. But meeting the parents? You can't pull both off."

  "Ugh. Pretty much what he was getting across to me, in a nutshell."