BustBunny I think it’s best if we don’t talk for a while. I’m sorry I hurt you. Goodbye.

  Josh stared at his glowing phone screen and read the words over and over again. They were all he had left from Alice after he woke up alone this morning. Most of her things were gone. She’d left the supplies for the saline infusions, all the domperidone Josh saved for her, all the clothes she’d shoved in Josh’s closet, and probably a bunch more things Josh hadn’t discovered yet.

  BustBunnyI think it’s best if we don’t talk for a while. I’m sorry I hurt you. Goodbye.

  Was that all he got this time? Another betrayal from someone who was supposed to love him and a vague note. Josh wrestled with the voices in his head as he tried to process what happened.

  “We should have gone along with things.” “Why didn’t she really love us?” “Men aren’t supposed to cry.” “We didn’t even get to finish.” “She was just a gay person doing bad gay things like they always do.” “She wasn’t even a real woman.” “We shouldn’t have let her leave.” “Why does everyone leave?”“She left because she was a bad person.”“Or because we’re a bad person.” “We can’t be a bad person. We became a man for her.”“We should have become a woman for her. That’s what she wanted.”“Is it even gay if she’s not a woman?”“It doesn’t matter. We just need her back.” “Why?” “We can’t let her leave. She owes us.”

  Josh sent a message to Alice.

  JawshHey. I know you’re confused about your sexuality, but this is a really dick move to ghost me after everything I’ve done for you. What happened to starting over?

  Something didn’t feel right about that. He tried to expin further.

  JawshI mean, I know you’re probably just in a hotel or something nearby. How about we get together and talk about what happened? I was confused because you lied and you were confused because you didn’t ask me for the truth.

  No, this still wasn’t what he wanted. What did he want? “Get her back,” a voice said. True, that would be the best thing. Maybe Alice needed some sort of medication to fix all her problems. Josh could look some things up and get his medical guy to find something. Speaking of medication, that was another thing Josh could try.

  JawshYou left the saline stuff and the milk drugs btw. I know those were super expensive, but I’ve got it all safe and sound for when you get back. And I have all your clothes still hanging in my closet even though they take up a bunch of room. I can drop them off at your hotel or whatever if you want.

  Josh shuffled through the house for hours waiting for Alice to respond to him. He continued to send her messages asking for a chance to talk and to expin why he acted the way he did. Of course, it was starting to become clear to Josh that he wasn’t exactly sure why he did what he did.

  It definitely had to do with Alice ciming she thought he was a weird transwoman like she was. That simply couldn’t be true. Josh went to the mirror and stared at his reflection. He looked at the person in the mirror with their luxurious and voluminous hair, their clear and soft-looking skin, and the undeniable hint of breasts sitting on their chest. Okay, maybe he could see why Alice might be confused.

  But this was all temporary. Alice got confused because of the treatments from the stupid women at the spa. What the hell did those women do to him? Is this the red light therapy? Or the weird machine they kept rubbing on his cheeks? The drugs? The women must have given him drugs that…did…”I don’t know!” Josh cried out. He felt the echoes reverberate through his body. He colpsed onto the floor of the bathroom.

  Alice wanted a woman, and she’d tried to turn him into one. Josh looked down and took his right breast into his hand. Gravity helped the warm flesh melt across his spread fingers. They were boobs. He’d grown boobs. He was such a pathetic excuse for a man that he developed a medical condition from being more of a woman that his girlfriend was. But then he still wasn’t woman enough to keep her.

  A jolt of electricity shot through Josh’s mind. Something made sense now. He could win Alice back and make himself feel so much better if he committed to what she wanted. After all, everyone preferred women.

  Josh quickly set up everything he needed. He hung the bags just like Alice showed them. He inserted the needles in the way like he’d seen himself do it before. He flipped on the Barbie movie as the cold dextrose liquid flowed into his breasts. He needed to really commit to being the girlfriend Alice wanted.

  After the movie ended, Josh took out his phone and snapped a few photos of his bare chest with the infusion needles still sticking inside him. His breasts were swollen and full. Josh lightly ran his fingers across the two breasts attached to his body. He felt a slight euphoria from the tingling on his skin and the pressure coming from within. It reminded Josh of the times he and Alice had been intimate. Didn’t he actually like having his breasts pyed with? Why did he feel so conflicted?

  Josh’s vision grew blurry.

  What was he doing right now? Trying to win Alice back? Because she, Alice, she left? He opened up his messages with Alice to try and get some crity. That’s weird, he didn’t remember sending so many messages. And it was already evening again. Where did the day go?

  BustBunnyI think it’s best if we don’t talk for a while. I’m sorry I hurt you. Goodbye.

  Josh felt his mind clear. Right, the pn. He was making it clear that he could be what Alice needed them to be. He focused his mind and put on a happy face for the camera. He made sure to capture his rge, swollen breasts in the frame. He analyzed the image. The girl in the photo definitely looked cute. “I’d totally fuck her,” Josh’s voice said in Josh’s head. Which…yeah. Of course. Josh zoned out for a few seconds.

  Anyways.

  He sent the photo to Alice and plopped onto the couch to wait for her response. One hour. Two hours. Nothing. Josh felt himself getting hungry. He rubbed his temples. Things were weird today. He normally wouldn’t let himself starve all day for no reason. He could order a pizza from work. He opened up the app.

  “Wait,” a voice said. Josh paused. “We don’t want nosy Dan seeing us like this. We should get something else.” That made sense. Josh went to a website and ordered some Chinese food to be delivered. “We need to get dressed before the delivery guy shows up,” the voice said. Also true. Josh went to his closet and looked at all of Alice’s clothes.

  No, that’s not right. They were his clothes. Alice bought them for him when they went shopping. She’d been putting them up against his body and asking him how he thought they would look. How could he possibly have thought they were Alice’s clothes and that she’d only been storing them in his closet? He didn’t think that. He always knew they were his clothes. He’d helped pick them out.

  Yet he could distinctly remember being certain that Alice had gone crazy and bought a bunch of clothes that would never fit her only to hang them up in his closet because she’d bought too many things to be able to pack them in her suitcase. He had to be mistaken. That was a shitty thing to think about a person he loved.

  Suddenly, it felt like he was at dinner st night with Alice. They were ughing together; Alice probably said something super funny. She was showing off that beautiful smile of hers. She told him how beautiful he was, and Jen could really feel that it was true. He liked being beautiful; he couldn’t think of why he didn’t do this more often. That had to be part of why he felt so light and free with Alice.

  *DING DONG*

  Josh opened his eyes. He wasn’t at dinner with Alice; he was sitting on his couch.

  *DING DONG*

  Right, the Chinese food. That was a fast delivery. Josh stood up and walked towards the door before pausing for a moment. He had the strangest feeling that something was off. He quickly looked around the apartment, which caused his skirt to swish across his smooth, hairless legs, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

  Wait! The infusion equipment; he needed to get it out of the way so the delivery guy didn’t see anything weird. Josh looked around nervously, but couldn’t find it. A memory popped into his head. He remembered putting on some nice clothes from his closet and then tidying up the apartment a little before deciding to wait on the couch watching TV until his food arrived.

  Josh mindlessly opened the door and accepted the bag of Chinese food. He was too preoccupied with all the strangeness that seemed to be going on today. He definitely remembered getting dressed and cleaning, but he also didn’t feel like he did anything at all. But that didn’t make any sense. What else did he remember but not really?

  Eyes wide, Josh spped around on the couch for his phone. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. There’s no way he actually did it, right? No fucking way. Josh found his phone and went straight to his message history with Alice. He saw the photos. He couldn’t believe himself. He actually had to be crazy. Or drunk. Or both. There’s no logical reason why he would have done such a stupid thing.

  “But she read them finally,” the voice said. Josh looked again. Sure enough, each of his messages said read now. He had a chance. His pn worked. Which, his pn…to win Alice back. Right, but how exactly? He could ask her to come back.

  “Real men don’t beg,” Josh heard in his mind.

  That was right. He couldn’t beg Alice to come back however much he needed that to happen. Which, a part of Josh wondered why he should even go through the trouble of getting Alice back. She seemed like she was way more trouble than she was worth.

  But then, there was this weird pull in the back of Josh’s mind that told him Alice was an amazing person and he was lucky to be around her. Which didn’t really make much sense. Sure, he’d said he loved her st night, but that was obviously because he just wanted to make her happy. Ladies loved that kind of sappy sentiment.

  Oh, his pte was empty. Josh rubbed his full belly and groaned. He was getting tired. Things would be better in the morning. Maybe Alice would even write him back or take him up on his offer for a meeting. He was obviously tired and stressed from the worst day of his life happening. He could handle the mess with Alice after a good night’s sleep.

  ——————————————

  Alice still hadn’t messaged him.

  Josh kept waiting for the notification to ding as he took photos with his phone. Alice at least read his messages when he attached a photo of himself being pretty, so, logically, the best thing to do was to take another pretty photo of himself. He fluttered his eyeshes and put on a seductive smirk.

  No, he could do better than that.

  Maybe the outfit was wrong. Jen went to his lingerie drawer and looked at his options for bras. Ah ha, there; the cy pink balconette bra would be perfect with the cut out on the top they were wearing. He quickly changed and checked his appearance in the mirror. Alice would probably want him wearing makeup, like a normal woman, but Josh had no clue where to even begin with that. He’d make do.

  He went with a smaller smile with a hint of nervousness behind it this time. Yes, much better. He sent the photo along with a message.

  JawshHey Alice! I’m so sorry about anything I said yesterday. I was so hurt and confused. I really do just want to talk. We can even start with texting. Kind of like how we met, you know? Anyways, I’m thinking of you.

  The rest of the day was a blur. Josh kept his mind busy as he lounged on the couch by constantly switching between games he was pying and shows he was watching. Sometimes he’d have a video pying on his phone while he went through the racing campaign on the TV. Drinking the rest of the beers he had stored helped. He ordered some more Chinese food as well as a pizza from a different store than where he worked.

  ———————————————

  The next day, Josh went outside. To buy ice cream. And chips. And more beer. Alice still hadn’t replied to any of his messages. She’d looked at the photo he sent yesterday, so it was clear to him that he still had a chance to salvage things. He needed to go bigger.

  Josh set up everything at home. He had the leftovers from ordering out yesterday as well as all his snack food ready to go. Alice was still logged into the streaming ptform on his TV, so he opened up her history to see what she’d been watching recently. It was some show called Drag Race, but it seemed to involve a bunch of gay men dressing up to look like women instead of cars actually racing.

  It didn’t matter. The point was to to get inside Alice’s head. And, obviously, if she was watching stuff like this all the time, it made sense why she had such a fetish for seeing Josh look like a woman. Sure, a part of Josh had to admit the show was kind of interesting. It sort of reminded him of when he would watch a fashion show with his mom when he was younger. He wasn’t sure why they stopped.

  The fake racing show also looked like fun sometimes. At least, the winning did. Josh cared about beating other men. At anything. Not at looking like a woman. Although, Josh felt like he could totally beat all the guys in the show if he really tried. They were gay after all and being gay was basically the same as being an actual woman. Sort of. Maybe. Josh wasn’t sure on the rules.

  After the tenth episode or so, Josh figured it was time to step things up a notch with his pn to win Alice back. If he learned anything from watching the dumb drag show, it was that it was Alice would want the exaggerated version of girl-Josh. He set up four more bags for the infusion. His chest was still quite swollen and a little sore from yesterday, but he needed to go bigger.

  Alice wanted a guy who had absolutely massive breasts because bigger was always better. And she wanted him to look like a woman because of some weird fetish. Or because she was actually a lesbian. Or because Alice was actually a guy. The details didn’t matter. Pretending to be a woman was going to help Josh; he was sure of it. The fact that a part of him felt like ripping the skin from his body didn’t mean anything.

  After a few hours, Josh snapped a photo of his enhanced chest. This had to impress Alice. His breasts looked like they were ready to burst. There was absolutely no chance of him fitting the monstrous globes into any of his current bras. Plus, a nude photo was sure to be more enticing. He sent the photo and stared impatiently at his phone.

  *Read*

  Josh waited with baited breath. And waited. And waited. He stayed up past midnight waiting for Alice to say something, anything. He was running out of time. Alice’s flight was scheduled to leave in a few days, and there was little to no chance of winning her back with an entire country between the two of them. Maybe he should go to some nearby hotels and ask for her.

  Josh stood up and felt himself immediately start to wobble and spin. Nope. Bad idea. They needed to sit back down. Josh plopped onto the sofa. Since when did they get so tipsy on a few beers? Food. He looked around. Nothing. He managed to stumble into the kitchen and open the refrigerator. There was still some leftover pizza.

  Josh warmed up the pizza and sat back down on the couch. He looked at his phone again. Still nothing. Maybe the boobs weren’t enough. But the words weren’t enough either. He tried acting all pathetic and helpless to encourage Alice’s instincts to kick in to come take care of him.

  Wait. Alice was really a guy. Sort of. In any case, she probably didn’t have motherly instincts. Yes, Josh needed to treat Alice like a dude. Free titty pics were great, but Josh needed to take things a step further.

  He stumbled into his room and found the butt plug. He didn’t have time for lube, so Josh licked and slurped over the shaft until it was dripping wet. He lifted his skirt up and forced the plug into his bottom. It hurt a little more than he remembered, but that was fine. Josh set up his phone so that it could record him on his bed. He pressed record and leaned back to present his ass to the camera.

  He moaned loudly. “Higher!” Josh heard in his head. Yes. Higher. Josh let out a squeaky moan. No, more authentic. Like a woman would. Josh rocked his hips and moaned again. Part of him wished there was a way to py with the vibrations while his phone was recording. He wished Alice would py with him again.

  Josh stopped moaning. He felt like his soul was covered in darkness as it slipped under the ocean waves. He got up and turned off the recording. This whole idea was dumb. He climbed into bed and let himself pass out.

  —————————————————

  JawshI see what you’re doing for me. You’re giving me a chance to think and reflect. I see now that I made a mistake saying all those nasty things to you.

  Josh looked over the st message he sent Alice as the hot water struck his back like tiny daggers. Like the dagger Alice stabbed in his heart when she left. He wiped the shower spray from his phone screen and looked over the messages again. Alice still hadn’t responded to anything, and she’d stopped reading all his texts at this point. He needed something to draw her in.

  Josh shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. He wiped the fog from the mirror to get a look at himself. His eyes were bloodshot and his face looked a bit puffy. His wet hair hung like ragged strings. Weirdly enough, the only evidence of his spa day that remained was the fact that he hadn’t grown back any of his facial hair. His breasts were still swollen from the multiple rounds of infusions, but they also were starting to develop these weird red blotches on the skin that itched. A subpar face and subpar breasts wouldn’t be enough to entice Alice.

  Josh knew Alice’s game now. She was driven by sex. He ruined the special night she had pnned and she was punishing him for it. If the roles were reversed, Josh would likely do the same to teach his woman a lesson. He needed to move past his assumptions that punishment was only for women. Punishment was for whoever deserved to be punished.

  If he wanted Alice to lift the embargo on her attention, he would have to do something drastic. Josh left the bathroom and stared at the object on his bed. He’d found it when he went searching for something precious that Alice might have left behind that he could use as an excuse to meet with her. He found a dildo.

  Something told Josh that it was a test. Alice must have left it here for him to find to see if he could get over his hangups from that night. Josh picked up the dildo and held it in his hands. It was smaller than Alice’s dick, but it still felt massive to Josh. He brought it up to his lips; the dildo shook in Josh’s quivering hands.

  “It’s no big deal,” Josh told himself, “it’s no big deal. It doesn’t mean anything.” Josh stuck his tongue out. “It will be okay,” Josh said, “We have to push through.”

  “Exactly, we already did this before with the real thing. This is nothing.”

  Josh licked the tip of the dildo. All he tasted was rubber. He opened his mouth and let the tip of the dildo penetrate his body. “See? It’s fine,” Josh thought. He moved his mouth down the shaft to let more of the dildo inside of him. He kept pushing himself down further and further even as it rubbed against the back of his throat. He needed it all; for Alice. To prove that he could handle Alice. Josh felt the base of the dildo against his lips and pulled his head back up and off the device.

  He let out a gasp and felt his breath heavy in his chest. He rested the dildo against his swollen breasts. Josh decided that the experience was, actually, kind of okay. He could do this; for Alice. Josh set up his phone to record himself sucking and slurping up and down the dildo. He tried to imagine he was pying with Alice’s cock as he did so. He left little kisses on the tip, he licked the shaft up and down, he bobbed his head at different speeds, and he showed off his ability to take the whole length inside of himself.

  Josh looked at video when he was finished. The person in the video looked like they were really enjoying themselves. Which, Josh sort of understood the person had to be him, but it also had to be an act. He had only done a few things after all. Sure, the video was, somehow over three minutes long and featured a lot of moans and groans that Josh was pretty sure he faked.

  It didn’t matter. Right now, his goal was to send the video to Alice to try and win her back so that Josh could be happy. So that he could be happy. Josh felt his eyes blink a few times in quick succession. He sent Alice the video.

  This was good. But, maybe, Josh needed to go a step further. He walked over to the floor by the nightstand and looked around. It only took a moment for him to find Alice’s lube. Josh squeezed a glob onto his hand and applied it to the shaft of the dildo. He knelt on his bed and spread his legs apart. For once, he was gd for the stretching routine he’d started a few months ago.

  Josh maneuvered the dildo into pce and felt the cold tip pressing against his anus. He took a few deep breaths to rex himself. “It’s just like with the butt plug,” he told himself. Josh applied a little pressure and felt the object breach. He let out a quick gasp. It hurt a little bit, but not enough for him to stop.

  Josh pressed more of the dildo inside of himself. Yes, this was starting to feel good. Because Alice would like it. That’s why he was happy. That’s the only reason he was doing this. It had nothing to do with how good it felt. “Fuck,” Josh said. He forgot to turn on the camera. He clinched his cheeks and got off the bed. He quickly put his phone in pce and started the recording.

  He returned to his bent over kneeling position on the bed and reached around to take hold of the end of the dildo once more. He pressed it forward again. “Oooooh,” Josh said. This was perfect. He pulled the dildo back and then pressed forward. “Mmmmm.” Another thrust. “Ooh!” Josh started to build into a rhythm.

  He timed it perfectly so that he rocked his hips backward as he pushed the dildo forward to make it easier on his extended arm. A part of him thought about how this task would be so much easier with a longer dildo. Josh picked up the pace and made his moans higher and louder. He needed Alice to know how much he enjoyed this.

  Eventually, he figured that he had enough to find a good clip or two to send to Alice. He looked over the footage. The girl in the video was definitely enjoying herself now. Josh could see her breasts pressed against the bedding. Her eyes were squeezed shut but her mouth hung open with lust. It was so hot seeing her hair spyed against her body as she rocked back and forth pying with her ass.

  His ass. Right, this was him. Not a girl. This was confusing. Josh was aware that he’d just finished making the video, so the girl had to be him. But he wasn’t a woman. He looked down at himself. He was wearing an over-sized t-shirt and ying on the couch. When had he moved over here?

  Josh sat up and looked around. The apartment was a complete mess. There were takeout containers and pizza boxes covering the table in front of the couch. There were multiple empty sodas and even more empty beer cans and beer bottles. Josh checked the time on his phone. 2 AM! But he’d been filming the video in the afternoon.

  He’d never gotten bckout drunk before, but that had to be the reason for all the gaps in his memory tely. He was doing what men have done for centuries; getting crazy drunk to deal with the insanity of trying to be with women. A part of him thought life would be easier if he was with another guy. At least they made sense.

  Josh looked at his messages with Alice again. Thankfully, he hadn’t said anything too embarrassing while he was drunk. In fact, a lot of his messages sounded cute and charming. Alice had read them all, but she still wasn’t responding.

  “Send the video,” a voice said.

  That sort of made sense. That was why he took the video after all. Josh sent a thirty second clip to Alice.

  He let out a big sigh. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath. He was way too stressed. Josh got off the couch and went to the refrigerator. Thankfully, he still had some beer left. He cracked open two more cans and started chugging. He was only drinking so much because he needed something to help him sleep so he could be fresh in the morning to talk to Alice. That video was so hot, there was no way she could stay silent after watching it.

  ———————————————

  Josh smmed his apartment door shut. He tossed the small pstic bag in his hand onto the couch. He slipped out of his sweatpants and plopped his butt next to the bag. He pulled his shirt off and then pulled off one of the sports bras he was wearing. He took a deep sigh of relief. Dressing up in multiple yers just for a quick run to the pharmacy was exhausting. Still, Josh deemed it a necessary sacrifice to make sure he presented as masculine as possible.

  Josh opened up the bag and tried reading the instructions on the bottle of pain medication he’d bought. The text was way too small and Josh was in way too much pain to wait. He figured two pills would be safe enough. He grabbed an open beer off the table to help wash down the pills.

  After collecting himself, Josh took the second sports bra off and let his breasts drop. He let out a slight moan of pleasure. That felt so much better. He massaged his breasts to try and ease the stress he was holding onto. He felt slight tingles and shocks go off inside of his body. Part of him considered grabbing and twisting his nipples, but Josh decided that would be taking things too far.

  He didn’t actually enjoy pying with his boobs. He just needed a little stress relief. Like, the fact that he’d been fantasizing about getting another massage from a buff guy was only because of all the stress Alice was putting him through. Speaking of Alice, Josh checked his phone again.

  Alice still hadn’t responded. She hadn’t even read his messages or watched the videos.

  Josh tossed the phone into the corner of the room. Fuck her. In fact. Josh got up and ran over to his phone. He typed a message to Alice.

  JawshFuck you and your fake ass self. You lied to me the entire time and you think you get to be mad that I don’t accept you because youre fucking crazy delusional. And a bitch. But you’re not even a real bitch because your not a real woman.

  Sent. Josh’s whole body was warm. This was good. A part of him felt like crying, but that was just the weak part that everybody had. Josh knew how to crush that weak part of himself down. Like a man. Josh rub his sniffling nose. No, he wasn’t crying. He needed everyone to know he wasn’t crying.

  JawshI think this was really the best. Because you couldn’t handle being dumped by me. You’re so fragile and weak it’s no wonder you delude yourself into thinking you can be called a woman. You’re a fake and a liar.

  Hours ter, Josh found himself sitting on the couch once more with the st two bags of dextrose hooked up to IVs running into his breasts. This had nothing to do with Alice. He didn’t want to waste his money and he couldn’t try returning them to the guy in the alley. That guy was a creep anyways.

  Josh grabbed his bottle of pain pills. They seemed worthless and weak, but they were all he had. His butt felt like it was on fire, his head was buzzing, and his chest had a weird itchy stabbing pain all across it. His stomach felt like he was going to throw up but also like he was starving. Josh washed another four pills down with a can of beer.

  He started the flow of the IV and grabbed his phone. He opened up the vibrator app and turned his device on. The vibrations immediately helped him calm down.

  BzzBzzBzzBzzBzz

  Perfect. Josh felt his eyes getting heavy. This is what he needed. It was like a massage. That was all. And he needed a massage because he was stressed and because he…was…getting really hot. And sweaty. Josh felt like his entire body was made from molten lead. This wasn’t good. His brain was foggy and fuzzy. What did people do? If...pain. Phone.

  I need to get my phone.

  Where? Got it. Just need to open it. And call. Can I text emergency? No, call. 9-1-1. There.

  Ringing, ringing.

  Come on.

  “911, what’s your emergency?”

  “Eeeem hoowat. Hard…to..breathe.”

  “Okay ma’am, can you tell me where you are?”

  “Tew tree tree…oilive…shreet.”

  Bckness.