I parted from her lips as the weight of what had just happened finally crashed into me. My hand flew to my mouth on instinct, fingers pressing against it as if I could undo the moment by sheer force.

  My eyes stayed wide, unfocused, my heartbeat loud enough to drown out everything else.

  Car didn't move. She just looked at me—calm, graceful, almost glowing. There was happiness in her expression, warm and certain, like she hadn't doubted the moment for even a second.

  That only made the confusion twist deeper inside me.

  I was happy. I knew that. My chest felt light, my stomach fluttered—but right beneath it was something tighter, something uneasy. Wasn't this too fast? I'd known her for barely a week. A week. And yet here I was, still tasting her on my lips, my mind struggling to catch up with my body.

  I gnced up at her again, my throat tightening as I sniffled softly, pretending to focus on my ice cream. The cold sweetness grounded me, gave me something familiar to hold onto while everything else felt like it was slipping forward too quickly.

  "Can we go home...?" I asked quietly, already turning toward the luxurious car. I didn't reach for her hand. The thought of it made my chest feel strange, like crossing another line I wasn't ready to step over.

  She walked close beside me anyway. I could feel her warmth through the space between us, her presence heavy and comforting all at once. Too comforting. Like something I hadn't earned yet.

  This—whatever this was—was moving too fast. Faster than I could process, faster than I could protect myself.

  I couldn't possibly be in love...

  Right?

  "What's wrong, Miguel? Did I do something?" Car asked.

  Before I could answer, her fingers closed around my hand, instinctive, unthinking. My body reacted before my mind did—I almost pulled away. Almost.

  The way she held me sent a quiet warmth up my arm, comforting in a way that scared me. Addicting. I let it happen, even as my chest tightened.

  I kept my eyes on the ground, my grip on the ice cream cup turning white-knuckled, the cold seeping into my palms. My thoughts spiraled back to the kiss, to how natural it had felt—and how wrong that ease terrified me.

  "There's nothing to be sad of, Miguel," Car continued softly.

  I heard her voice, but I didn't really listen. My head was too loud. I didn't want this. I didn't want to fall into something without seeing the edges first. What if she hurt me?

  She hadn't. Not once. She'd been kind, patient, gentle—everything that should have made me feel safe.

  And yet the fear stayed.

  It lived in old memories, in hands that had once held me with the same certainty before turning cruel. In promises that had sounded warm until they weren't. Loving someone had never been neutral for me—it had always come with a price.

  "I just want to go home," I said, my voice firmer than I felt.

  We were almost at the car now. My stomach was twisted tight, nerves crawling under my skin, my body bracing for something I couldn't name. Her hand was still in mine, grounding and dangerous all at once.

  I didn't know if I was running from her... or from the part of me that wanted to stay.

  I got in as quickly as I could, the door shutting with a dull thud that felt final. I kept licking and scooping the ice cream into my mouth, barely tasting it anymore, just trying to drown out the memory of her lips—the lingering mint, the way it clung to me no matter how much I swallowed.

  Car slid into the seat beside me, graceful even in the confined space, and before I had time to think we were already moving.

  The car surged forward, the city lights stretching into soft blurs. I stayed quiet, staring ahead, my thoughts knotted and useless.

  "Miguel... talk to me, please..." she said gently.

  I didn't answer. The cup was empty now, abandoned in the holder. The spoon rattled faintly with every turn, a small, irritating sound that I focused on instead of her voice.

  "Was it too far?" she asked, slower this time. "Talk to me..."

  I turned my face toward the window and closed my eyes, resting my forehead against the cool gss. The world outside slid past, distant and unreal. I didn't want to expin. I didn't want to remember.

  I just wanted the night to end—to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and pretend none of it had happened.

  The car kept moving.

  Her presence stayed beside me.

  And I stayed silent, hoping sleep would erase what my body refused to forget.

  —

  Time passed without a word. Car didn't ask me for anything after we parked inside the garage, and the silence followed me through the house like a shadow.

  By the time I stepped into the shower, my stomach ached faintly, knotted with thoughts I couldn't straighten out. I told myself the water might help. It usually did.

  Warm streams rushed over me, steady and enveloping. I worked the soap into my skin, slow and methodical, scrubbing as if I could rinse the night away.

  Every time my mind almost cleared—every time I thought I was finally letting it go—Car slipped back in. Her voice. Her touch. The way she'd looked at me afterward.

  She lingered in my thoughts like a craving, something my mind reached for even as I told myself not to. Like a drug I hadn't meant to try, but now couldn't stop thinking about.

  I stared at the brown-tiled wall, water tracing lines down my face, and let myself be honest for once. I liked kissing her. The memory didn't feel wrong—it felt warm, grounding, something that made my chest ache in a way that wasn't bad.

  The idea of being with her, of letting myself lean into that closeness, was slowly becoming less frightening... and that scared me even more.

  Because what if she changed?

  What if the kindness cracked one day, sudden and sharp, turning into something familiar and cruel? I'd seen that transformation before—felt it. Love had a way of growing teeth when I wasn't paying attention.

  "She hasn't shown any signs of abuse toward anyone," I murmured under my breath. "So why am I like this...?"

  The question hung there, unanswered, swallowed by the sound of the water. I rinsed off and shut the shower off, the sudden quiet almost too loud.

  After drying myself, I pulled on fresh underwear and my pajamas, moving on autopilot.

  Clean, warm, and exhausted—but no closer to peace than before.

  I slipped into the bedroom quietly and found Car already in bed, lying on her side, eyes fixed on me as if she'd been waiting the whole time. Not impatient—just certain.

  I moved around the room slowly, then eased myself under the bnkets. The warmth wrapped around me, but I kept my distance, staring out the window instead. Tonight, I wasn't getting close to her. I couldn't.

  "Miguel... talk to me..." she whispered.

  She shifted closer anyway. I felt her against my back, the soft weight of her body grounding and overwhelming all at once.

  I let out a quiet sigh, not stopping her, not encouraging her either. Just... letting it happen.

  "Think about it," she murmured. "I've treated you like a king. I haven't done anything bad to you." Her voice was calm, assured. "The moment I saw you at the airport, something lit up inside me. I knew you were the one for me. And I know you feel it too."

  Her arm settled around me, firm but gentle.

  "Don't be afraid," she continued. "I'll love you forever... even after death."

  The words should have comforted me. Part of me had been bracing for them not to—but they did. My chest tightened at first, then slowly eased, like I'd been holding my breath without realizing it.

  My eyes burned, tears blurring my vision as I swallowed hard, overwhelmed more than afraid.

  I turned toward her at st, my breathing uneven.

  There was something steady in her gaze. Something sincere. Not demanding, not possessive—just certain. The kind of certainty that didn't push, only waited.

  The knot in my chest loosened. I didn't feel like I was about to run. I felt... held. Seen. Safe in a way that felt unfamiliar, but real.

  I sniffled quietly, my forehead resting against her chest, letting the comfort settle in fully this time. Her warmth felt steady, real—something I didn't have to earn or brace against.

  I lifted my head and looked up at her, really looked at her. Her eyes held mine without wavering.

  "I—I love you too, Car," I said softly. "I really do."

  The words broke something open in me. Tears slipped free, and before I could overthink it, I leaned in and kissed her. She met me immediately, her hand rising to cradle the back of my head, guiding me closer as if she'd been waiting for me to choose this.

  Her lips were cool and minty, familiar now, grounding instead of overwhelming.

  "You won't regret this... I promise," she murmured against my mouth. "You're my world..."

  A quiet ugh escaped me, shaky but real, and I nodded against her, the fear finally easing its grip.

  I know I won't regret it.

  I truly believed that.

  ———

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