My legs were on fire by the time we started up the hill leading back to Julie's Pueblo. Each step felt heavier than the st, muscles screaming in quiet protest.

  I kept my eyes on the cracked pavement ahead, anywhere but behind—anywhere but the pce we were going.

  I didn't want to go back. Not after... st night.

  But I didn't have anywhere else to go. And as much as I hated the thought of being touched, of being too close, the alternative was worse. I swallowed hard, telling myself that discomfort was better than hell. At least with Julie, I wouldn't be alone.

  "Legs burning?" Julie asked, gncing back at me.

  I nodded, stopping despite myself. I bent slightly, hands braced on my knees as I tried to catch my breath, lungs pulling in cold air that stung on the way down. The bag of snacks hung from my fingers, suddenly feeling twice as heavy.

  Before I could say anything else, Julie stepped in front of me and crouched down, her back to me.

  "Come on," she said lightly. "I'll carry you."

  I blinked, caught off guard. "You don't have to," I said, even as my body betrayed me, already leaning forward. My legs were shaking. Pride felt very far away.

  "It's fine," she replied, steady and certain.

  I hesitated for half a second longer, then climbed onto her back, careful, awkward. The bag pressed against my side as she hooked her arms under my legs and stood up in one smooth motion, barely stumbling.

  I rested my forehead against her back, the fabric of her jacket warm beneath my skin. Even with the night air creeping in, even with the chill settling over the night, heat radiated from her—solid and grounding.

  I closed my eyes. Letting myself believe that I was safe for now.

  "I'm gd I got those weeks off work," Julie murmured, her voice low, almost lost beneath the sounds of the night. "Being with you is so much better."

  I hummed softly in response, my cheek resting against her shoulder. She wasn't wrong. In the middle of all this chaos—fear, confusion, memories I couldn't shut off—Julie had been the one constant—The one thing that didn't feel like it was slipping through my fingers.

  "Julie...?" I started, my voice trailing off as I searched for the right words. They felt heavy, stuck somewhere between my chest and my throat.

  "Yes?" she answered immediately, attentive, like she already knew this mattered.

  She grunted slightly as she made one final push up the hill, her steps slowing before the ground finally leveled out beneath her feet.

  From here, the Pueblo stretched out in the distance—dim lights scattered like embers, alive and breathing under the stars.

  I tilted my head back, staring up at the sky. It was crowded with stars, sharp and bright, like they were watching everything.

  "Are you sure you're going to protect me?" I asked quietly. "It's not that I don't trust you... I just—" I swallowed. "I'm scared you'll be asleep."

  The words felt small once they were out, but they were honest.

  Julie didn't hesitate. "Of course I'll protect you, Miguel," she said, firm but gentle. "And don't worry about me sleeping. I can stay up. Easily."

  Something loosened in my chest at that. Not all the way—but enough to breathe.

  "Thanks, Julie..." I murmured.

  She hummed back, a soft sound of reassurance, and kept walking. With every step closer to town, the night filled with life: the smell of food cooking somewhere nearby, smoke from wood fires drifting through the air, warm and familiar.

  Dogs barked in the distance. Kids ughed, still running around despite the te hour. People living, like nothing bad could ever reach them.

  I watched it all quietly, my arms hanging loose around her shoulders.

  I wanted that kind of peace too.

  Maybe someday.

  "Alright," Julie said as she slowed to a stop, adjusting her stance. "Think you can walk the rest?"

  I slid off her back, my feet hitting the ground harder than I expected. My legs wobbled immediately, a sharp weakness running through them like they'd forgotten what their job was. I caught myself before I fully stumbled, but it was close.

  "Can I... hold your hand?" I asked quietly.

  Julie didn't even pause. Her fingers wrapped around mine, firm and steady. Her hand was warm—strong in a way that felt protective, but gentle enough that it didn't scare me. It was a strange contrast, one I found myself clinging to a lot tely.

  "I'll hold your hand forever," she said softly.

  Something in my chest eased at that. Just a little. Having someone say that—mean it—felt dangerous and comforting at the same time. I wanted to believe nothing about her would ever change.

  As the house came into view, my steps slowed on their own. My stomach tightened, the air suddenly feeling thick, like it was pressing in on my lungs.

  Just seeing the front door made my heart start racing. My throat closed up, each breath coming shallower than the st.

  Julie noticed immediately. She stopped and turned to face me.

  "It's going to be fine," she said, meeting my eyes. "I promise, Miguel."

  I swallowed hard, forcing the bile down, and nodded even though my body didn't believe her yet.

  She pushed the door open, and we stepped inside.

  "Hey guys," Victoria said from the living room, her voice light, almost cheerful. "Where have you been all day? Did you have fun?"

  The sound of her voice made my skin crawl. The way she stood there—casual, normal—like nothing had happened, like my world hadn't cracked open just hours ago. No apology. No shame. Not even a flicker of guilt.

  I didn't answer.

  I just walked past her, straight down the hall and into Julie's room. My hands were shaking by the time I reached the bed. Julie followed behind me, silent, and gently closed the door.

  I exhaled shakily, pressing a hand to my face.

  "God," I muttered. "That's so stressful."

  ———

  Just decided to release it today lmao

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