At this point, I had to accept the truth.

  I already had five vassals.

  Which meant two things.

  First: I was officially running a dysfunctional demon management simutor.

  Second: I had no excuse left for being this tired.

  The throne room was quiet, dangerously quiet.

  Shiny sat right in front of me, legs crossed, hugging my iPad like a dragon hugging treasure. The screen reflected in her greedy little eyes.

  “This negotiation is simple,” she said. “You want the iPad.”

  “Yes.” I nodded.

  “You want it often.”

  “Yes.”

  “But you don’t want to lose it again.”

  “…Yes.”

  She smiled sweetly. “Then you need me.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You stole it...”

  “I found it,” she corrected. “In my heart.”

  “That’s not how property works.”

  She tapped the iPad. “Neither is leadership, but here we are.”

  I sighed. “Fine. Terms.”

  Shiny straightened, suddenly formal.

  “I become your vassal,” she said. “Vassal of Greed. Treasurer of the Demon Lord and keeper of valuables. All valuables.”

  “All?” I echoed.

  “All,” she confirmed. Her tail flicked. “Including rare artifacts, cursed rings, limited-edition magical storage crystals, and that suspiciously human-brand air fryer.”

  “I don’t like how specific that sounded.”

  “And,” she added cheerfully, “when you are not using them, it stays with me.”

  I thought about it.

  I thought about losing one of them again.

  Then I sighed.

  “Deal.”

  Her grin was instant.

  [System Loading…]

  [Initializing Vassals…]

  [Acquired New Vassal: Shiny, Vassal of Greed]

  [Shiny Affection +1]

  The system paused.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord Financial Anxiety Increased.]

  “Why is that necessary,” I muttered.

  Shiny bowed dramatically. “I will guard your treasures with my life. My Lord.”

  “And your honesty?”

  She froze.

  “With most of my honesty...”

  I waved my hand tiredly. “Just don’t sell my stuff.”

  “No promises.”

  I regretted everything immediately.

  ---

  After the potato harvest and the air fryer episode something strange happened.

  The demons began to… trust Mira. Not completely, but enough to stop hiding their wallets when she walked by. Enough to stop whispering “human” like it was a curse.

  She still stayed in a cell at night. She was still handcuffed whenever she left. She was still escorted by guards.

  But during the day? She taught me. And that confused everyone.

  “Why is the human helping us?” one demon whispered.

  “Is this a long con?” another asked.

  Mira heard them and sighed. “If I wanted to kill you all, I wouldn’t start with potatoes.”

  That… oddly reassured them.

  And today, I dragged Mira, handcuffed, guarded, grumbling back to the fields.

  The potatoes still stood proudly in the soil, tall and smug, like they knew they were my only success.

  “We’re really coming back...” She sighed.

  “Yes,” I said. “I refuse to be mocked by vegetables.”

  “The vegetables are winning,” she replied calmly.

  Charmie bounced beside us. “My Lord! Are we growing more miracle potatoes today?”

  “No,” I said firmly. “Today, we diversify.”

  Sparky saluted. “THE DEMON LORD DECLARES WAR ON MONOCULTURE.”

  I stepped into the soil.

  I raised my hands.

  I inhaled.

  And I chanted.

  “Oh nd of darkness, womb of despair—”

  Nothing.

  “Hear your lord and yield nourishment!”

  The soil trembled slightly.

  I smirked. “See?”

  A carrot sprout emerged.

  Charmie gasped. “It’s working!”

  The carrot immediately bent sideways… and snapped.

  Dead.

  Silence...

  [Announcement: Carrot has rejected the Demon Lord.]

  “Excuse me?” I coughed.

  I tried again. “By my name, by my power, grow...”

  ACHOOOO!!

  [ACHOOOO!! Skill Activated!]

  The world spun. My vision blurred. My body felt lighter.

  [Transforming…]

  [Announcement: Demon Lord successfully transformed into a female!]

  I blinked.

  “…Ah.”

  Mira froze.

  Charmie froze.

  Sparky froze.

  The demons froze.

  Mira turned away instantly, cheeks red. “Y-You couldn’t warn me?!”

  “I sneezed!” I protested. “That was the warning!”

  Charmie csped her hands. “My Lord! You’re beautiful!”

  Sparky panicked. “DO I SALUTE DIFFERENTLY NOW?!”

  “NO,” I shouted. “EVERYONE ACT NORMAL.”

  No one acted normal...

  I cleared my throat, regaining composure.

  “Alright, silence everyone!” I said. “Round two.”

  Mira hesitated. “You’re still doing this?”

  “Yes."

  “Oh, dirt of despair...” I began again.

  Still nothing.

  Mira covered her face with her cuffed hands. “You’re doing it wrong.”

  “I am chanting.”

  “You’re bullying the ground.”

  I tried again, louder.

  “GROW, YOU CARROT! RISE—”

  [Grow, you carrot! Rise! Skill Activated!]

  The soil puffed out a sad little cloud of dust. A single carrot sprout popped up, then immediately colpsed.

  [Announcement: Harvest Skill Activation Attempt… Failed.]

  Charmie gasped. “It died of embarrassment.”

  Sparky whispered, “My lord… perhaps potatoes are your destiny.”

  “No,” I said sharply. “I refuse to be a one-crop ruler.”

  I tried again.

  The ground trembled.

  A tomato pnt shot up and immediately exploded into mush.

  [Announcement: The Demon Lord has committed tomato Mansughter.]

  I froze.

  “That’s snder...” Mira ughed. Actually ughed.

  It startled me.

  She covered her mouth, shoulders shaking. “I’m sorry... I can’t... You looked so confident!”

  “That tomato attacked me first.”

  She wiped her eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

  For a moment, we just stood there, me sulking, her smiling.

  Then she realized she was smiling. Her expression softened… then hardened again.

  “…Don’t misunderstand,” she said quickly. “I still hate demons.”

  “Of course,” I replied. “Naturally.”

  She sighed. “Maybe your chant isn’t a general farming skill. It’s potato-specific.”

  I stared at the field. Slowly. Carefully. “You’re telling me,” I said, “I am not a harvest god, but a potato god…”

  “Goddess now, by the way…” Charmie added.

  I dropped to my knees.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord has suffered Critical Emotional Damage.]

  “That’s not fair,” I whispered. “I wanted tomatoes and carrots... for demons.”

  Charmie tried to comfort me. “Potatoes are very versatile, My Lord!”

  Sparky nodded. “Boil them. Mash them. Fry them.”

  Mira looked at me quietly. “You’re really doing this for them,” she said.

  I gnced at Zone 3. The demons watching. Waiting.

  “Someone has to,” I replied.

  She clenched her fists. “You’re stupid,” she said.

  “Correct.”

  “And somehow,” she muttered, “not scary at all.”

  I smirked. “Careful. That sounds like admiration.”

  She snapped back instantly. “I still hate demons!”

  “Of course,” I said easily. “You’re handcuffed.”

  She flushed. “You’re impossible.”

  I smiled.

  Six vassals. A human teacher. A broken harvest system. And a future that felt… dangerously hopeful.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord Progress, Unexpectedly Wholesome.]

  “Stop it...” I sighed.

  The potatoes rustled.

  I swear they ughed.