The next day.

  I stood in front of the farmnd with my arms crossed, staring at the soil like it had personally betrayed me.

  So there I was.

  Staring at nothing.

  Absolutely nothing.

  No sprouts.

  No leaves.

  Not even a suspicious green dot pretending to try.

  Just… dirt.

  The dirt where potatoes were supposed to be.

  “Mira...” I said slowly.

  She stood beside me, still handcuffed, looking painfully unimpressed. “Yes, My Overdramatic Lord?”

  “The potatoes,” I said. “They didn’t grow.”

  I crouched down, poking the soil with one finger like it had personally offended me. “These were pnted yesterday. I watered them. I spoke to them. I believed in them.”

  Charmie nodded solemnly. “My lord even bowed.”

  “I did bow,” I said. “That was a sacred farming bow.”

  Mira stood beside me, her expression calm in that annoyingly human way like someone who expected reality to function correctly.

  “Something’s wrong,” I muttered.

  Sparky squinted at the ground. “M-My Lord… perhaps the soil is cursed?”

  Charmie gasped dramatically. “Or sabotaged! I told you Zone 3 demons are suspicious!”

  I slowly stood up.

  “Someone stomped on my crops!”

  [Announcement: Stomping on crops will be identified as a crime.]

  The demons nearby froze. A few gasped. One dropped her shovel. Another demon immediately raised both hands. “I DIDN’T STEP ON ANYTHING, I SWEAR!”

  “CONFESS,” I said, pointing at the dirt. “WHO DISRESPECTED MY POTATOES.”

  Murmurs exploded around us.

  “I thought they were decorative!”

  “They looked like rocks!”

  “Someone said they were demon eggs...”

  I clenched my fists.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord Patience Level, Decreasing Rapidly.]

  “THIS,” I shouted, “IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.”

  Mira cleared her throat. “They’re not supposed to grow yet.”

  Silence.

  I turned slowly toward her. “What do you mean?”

  She looked at me like I was the one who had stomped on common sense.

  “Potatoes take about three months. To harvest.”

  "Three months...?!” I repeated.

  “Yes.” She nodded.

  I blinked.

  Once.

  Twice.

  ...

  “YOU CHEATED ME.” I pointed at her.

  “What?”

  “You lied,” I accused. “Yesterday you said pnting food would help immediately.”

  “I never said immediately.”

  “You IMPLIED IT.”

  “I absolutely did not.”

  I staggered back, clutching my chest. Three months....

  I looked down at the soil again. “…I trusted you.”

  Mira sighed. “That’s how agriculture works.”

  Sparky tilted her head. “My Lord… what is ‘months’?”

  I ignored her.

  I pointed at Mira. “Fine. Then give me another vegetable.”

  She hesitated. “Carrots take around seventy days.”

  I pointed again. “Another.”

  “Cabbage is about thirty to sixty days.”

  “ANOTHER.”

  Mira crossed her arms as much as handcuffs allowed. “All vegetables take time. Even fast ones need at least thirty days.”

  I felt my soul leave my body.

  “You mean,” I said slowly, “I have to wait… three months… just to eat a potato?”

  “Yes.” Mira nodded.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord has been emotionally scammed by basic biology.]

  Charmie patted my shoulder. “My Lord… perhaps instant food was unrealistic.”

  “NO,” I said weakly. “I refuse this reality.”

  I straightened. “If time won’t obey me,” I decred, “then soil will.”

  Mira frowned. “What are you doing?”

  I stepped forward, standing in the middle of the field like it was a sacred altar.

  I spread my arms.

  Demons watched. Guards leaned closer.

  Sparky whispered, “Is this… one of your legendary spells?”

  “No,” I muttered. “This is improvisation.”

  I inhaled deeply. “O soil,” I began solemnly, “this nd is my nd.”

  Charmie blinked. “That’s not a real chant.”

  “Everything is a real chant if you say it confidently.”

  I stomped once.

  “From root to leaf, from dirt to destiny—”

  Mira said. “You’re embarrassing yourself...”

  “—HEAR YOUR LORD!”

  The ground rumbled.

  Everyone froze.

  “Did you feel that?” Sparky whispered.

  I continued, louder now, fully committed. “Grow, you potatoes! Rise! Defy time! Defy logic! Defy—”

  [System Loading…]

  [Initializing Skills…]

  [Acquired New Demon Lord Skill!]

  [Skill Name: Grow, you potatoes! Rise!]

  [Grow, you potatoes! Rise! Skill Activated!]

  The soil cracked.

  A sprout burst out.

  Then another.

  Leaves exploded upward.

  Roots shifted.

  In seconds...

  POTATOES. Rolling out of the dirt like they were te for an appointment.

  Demons screamed.

  Charmie fainted.

  Sparky fell to her knees. “MY LORD HAS BECOME A FARMER GOD!”

  Mira stared, jaw dropped. “That’s not possible...”

  [Announcement: Demon Lord has acquired a legendary harvest skill. Grow, you potatoes! Rise!]

  I froze. “I DID THIS?”

  The potatoes kept growing.

  Too much...

  Way too much...

  One unched into the air and hit a demon in the face. Another rolled past my feet like an angry boulder.

  “STOP GROWING,” I yelled.

  They didn’t.

  “PLEASE STOP.”

  They didn’t.

  “OKAY I’M SORRY!”

  The soil finally calmed.

  Silence.

  The field was now overflowing with potatoes.

  Demons stared in awe. “We have food,” someone whispered.

  I exhaled. “I’m amazing.”

  Mira looked at me slowly. Her expression was conflicted and confused. “You’re ridiculous,” she said.

  I smirked.

  She looked at the vegetables. At the cheering demons. At Zone 3, suddenly alive. “You really want to change this pce.”

  [Announcement: Demon Lord accidentally improved morale.]