This was bad.

  No—correction.

  This was very bad...

  I had been standing here for thirty minutes.

  Thirty. Whole. Minutes.

  Arguing.

  With a small, shiny, goblin like demon girl over my iPad.

  “This is my treasure…” she whispered for the forty-seventh time, hugging the tablet to her chest like it was her newborn child.

  I twitched.

  “No. It’s not,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “It’s mine. I brought it from another world. I fixed it. I charged it. I updated it. I suffered while fixing the connection.”

  “But…” she tilted her head, golden eyes sparkling ominously. “…this was my treasure.”

  “STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT.”

  I gestured wildly. “Look at it! It’s not even your size! It’s too big for someone as small as you!”

  She looked down at the iPad. Looked at her short arms. Looked back up at me. “Big treasure,” she whispered reverently. I felt something crack inside my soul.

  I slumped against the stone wall, sliding down dramatically. “Really… what is wrong with this universe. Why am I—the Demon Lord—getting bullied by my own vassals?”

  [Announcement: Demon Lord was having a mental breakdown.]

  “Yes!” I snapped, pointing at the air. “Even this stupid system keeps announcing my privacy!”

  [Announcement: Demon Lord Stress Level: Extreme Critical.]

  “Oh? Fantastic. Love that for me.” I pushed myself back up, breathing deeply.

  In...

  Out...

  In—

  [Announcement: High Alert at Zone 3. A human has been detected. WARNING!]

  “…You’ve got to be kidding me.” I stared bnkly into the distance.

  Just when I thought the universe was done bullying me, it pulled out another chair and sat down to watch. Before I could even process it, a familiar spark crackled beside me.

  “My Lord!”

  Sparky appeared in a burst of electricity, eyes bzing with excitement and rage.

  “You heard that, right?! A human! We must act immediately!”

  I looked at her, dead inside. “Are you sure the system isn’t wrong this time?”

  Sparky hesitated. Just a little. “I hope not!”

  “…That’s not reassuring.” I exhaled slowly. “Alright. You go first. Take the army. Secure the area.”

  “Yes, my Lord!” Sparky saluted sharply, already vibrating with energy.

  “I’ll find Lazi,” I continued. “We’ll teleport.”

  “Understood!” She vanished in a fsh of lightning, shouting battle orders before she was even fully gone.

  I turned back to the goblin girl.

  “You,” I said, pointing at her. “You can keep it for now. But I will take it back. No matter what.”

  Her eyes lit up.

  “…Temporary treasure?”

  “No. Borrowed.”

  “Borrowed treasure,” she whispered happily.

  I walked away before I lost the will to live.

  “Grando!” I shouted while moving through the halls. “Where’s Lazi?!”

  Grando appeared almost instantly, kneeling. “In her room, sleeping. My lord—did you receive the warning?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “That’s why I need Lazi.”

  She nodded, concern clear in her eyes. “Please be careful.”

  “I’ll try,” I said weakly.

  Keyword: try.

  I reached Lazi’s room and smmed the door open. “Lazi. Emergency. Zone 3.”

  She was bundled up like a burrito, fast asleep.

  “…Five more minutes,” she mumbled.

  “No.” I grabbed her arm.

  “…Ten—”

  “No!”

  I dragged her out of bed.

  “…Teleporting is so much effort…”

  “I will carry you if I have to.”

  She sighed dramatically. “You’re so pushy…”

  And then—whoosh.

  The world twisted.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord has arrived at Zone 3.]

  The air shifted sharply as we materialized.

  The moment my feet touched the ground, I felt it.

  Fear.

  The demons of Zone 3 were already in chaos.

  Some were crying. Some were kneeling. Some were screaming about humans destroying everything.

  One fainted dramatically.

  “Charmie,” I whispered, “I should really give you a raise.”

  Wait... I forgot Charmie.

  I sighed. Guess I need to learn my speeches as well.

  I stepped forward and raised my voice. “Good day, demons!”

  They flinched.

  “You’ve all heard the announcement, right?” I continued.

  Murmurs spread.

  “Human…”

  “They’ll kill us…”

  “We’re doomed…”

  “HEY,” I snapped. “Rex!”

  They did not rex.

  “We’re dead!”

  “They’ll attack us!”

  “Please forgive us in advance!”

  I pinched my nose. “Please calm down! I’m here with you!”

  That somehow made it worse.

  “The Demon Lord is here…”

  “This must be serious…”

  “We’re really doomed…”

  “This is going terribly,” I sighed.

  Then—

  “Demon Lord… was it?”

  A voice cut through the chaos.

  I turned.

  A demon stood among them. She was… different. Beautiful, yes, but not in the intimidating demon way. She had blue skin, green eyes, and two little white horns sitting neatly on top of her head. Her presence was calm. Too calm.

  “Yes?” I answered cautiously. “What is it?”

  She smiled lightly. “Are you truly the Demon Lord?”

  The crowd stirred.

  “You don’t look very… demonic,” she continued. “Aside from those two little small horns. You also don’t follow the prophecy... And demon lords are said to possess overwhelming power. But yours...”

  Murmurs erupted again.

  “She’s right…”

  “The st one was huge…”

  “This one is… smaller…”

  [Announcement: Demon Lord Panic Level: Critical.]

  My heart pounded.

  “Of course I am!” I snapped. “Who are you to question me? Even the system acknowledges it!”

  She chuckled softly.

  “I’m just a nobody,” she said. “A weak demon here.” Her grin widened. “But may I ask… who are YOU?” She leaned forward slightly. Her dark blue hair fell softly around her shoulders.

  “My LORD.” The way she said it was mocking.

  “And who’s to say,” she added calmly, “that the system can’t be maniputed?”

  The crowd gasped.

  My stomach dropped.

  This demon was dangerous. Too sharp. Too composed.

  Zone 3 erupted into debate instantly.

  “Is she fake?!”

  “But the announcements...!”

  “The prophecy...!”

  “The st Demon Lord...!”

  I stepped forward.

  The crowd parted instinctively.

  I stood right in front of her. Up close, she looked… surprised. Just for a moment.

  I leaned in, lowering my voice.

  “Can you tell me how to manipute the system?”

  Her eyes widened.

  The crowd fell silent.

  “…What?!” she whispered.

  I smiled. “Because if you can,” I said softly, “that would be very useful to me.”

  The tension snapped like a stretched string.