“Wow! They sound super strong! I’m glad ya have folks who’ve got your back up there. Ma’ was worried you’d get drawn into all that courtly stuff,” John said.

  Wrong genre, Jessica thought. If she reincarnated in Tushita a thousand times, in none of them would she be screwing around with political drama. There was already more than enough of that in the chemistry department.

  “Riza and Naga are strong relative to other people in this world but I don’t want to test them against more adventurers. We got really, really lucky with Mercy’s necklace,” Jessica said.

  John hummed and nodded, enthralled by her stories. Jessica could only imagine how exciting her near-death experiences must sound to someone who boiled seaweed 14 hours a day.

  After the Mercy saga she ran out of things to talk about. Most of her life in Elsifeya had been as soul-crushingly boring as his. If she had to break it up into percentages, around 70% of the time she was bored out of her mind, 25% of the time she was terrified of mortal peril, and 5% of the time she was actually enjoying herself. The last 5% mostly came from Naga.

  “So how are things really?” Jessica asked as they passed under a canopy.

  John exhaled. “Not good. There was a rhythm to our farm work that made sense, so ya always knew where ya were in the year and how much there was left to do. Once the grain’s all reaped there’s only to pickle the vegetables, pick the gourds, and smoke the meat and that’s all ya can do ‘til spring besides, er, what a man does with his wife. But this business with the manufactory… I just don’t know when it stops! It’s all the same all the time.”

  “Rosemary seems to be doing okay,” Jessica said, fishing for an admission she wasn’t.

  “She’s not,” John said. “Ma’ can handle just about anything, but I can tell she’s worried about me. Or was. You pluckin’ me outta there made her feel a lot better I think. ‘Cept now I feel guilty cuz only I got to go. Doesn't seem fair.”

  Recognizing the soberness of the moment, Burnish cut back to a walk. The only sound for a minute or two was the clip-clop drumbeat of his shoes on cobble and the rustling of yellowing leaves.

  “We’re gonna do something about that,” Jessica said.

  “I ain’t strong and I ain’t smart, but whatever ya need me to do, I’ll do it,” John said.

  Jessica chuckled. “First thing’s first I need you to stop gripping so tight.”

  “O-Oh— Sorry!”

  He eased his grip around her waist. When they first mounted John had hover-handed over her belly as though terrified to touch her. After nearly getting thrown from Burnish’s back when the stallion launched into his patented rider-breaking gallop, John had gone in the other direction and squeezed her like a mast in a storm.

  “You’ll make a good foil for Riza and Naga,” Jessica said.

  “Is that a good or a bad thing?” he asked.

  “It’s…” Jessica tried to think of how she could explain fanfic terms to him and decided it wasn’t worth it. “It’s a thing.”

  The two spent the rest of the day’s ride telling each other about their respective worlds. John was baffled that anyone would wanna hear about the myths and legends of somewhere as boring as Barleyfield and Jessica was baffled anyone would want to hear about Cleveland.

  Nonetheless, the conversation was fruitful for both. Jessica learned about the gods of the world and the time of the Demon King and other topics that would’ve bored her if they’d been in an expository chapter of a book while John learned about burning rivers, rock & roll, and roller-coasters. By the time Jessica got around to explicitly not talking about certain events she hadn’t attended in certain indoor water park hotels it was time for them to camp.

  “I miss the stars,” John said, stretching himself out across a bed roll.

  “They have stars in Sawcone, don’t they?” Jessica asked.

  “Sure, but it don’t do me in any good if I’m too exhausted to go outside and look at ‘em. Back in Barleyfield I’d wake up in the middle of the night and go stare at the stars. Nowadays I sleep through the night cuz if I don’t I’ll be tired the next day and burn myself on the stove.”

  Jessica held her hand up to the stars and the nearly-full moon. Pink splotches from an old chemical burn still dotted the tops of her hands. It was the only major lab mistake she ever made and it was because she thought an iced coffee could substitute for a night of sleep.

  She yawned, stretched, and shut her eyes. “First thing we do when we get to Elsifeya is talk to the king about getting those stars back.”

  “Thanks, Jessica.”

  That night she dreamt about being lost in an enormous factory that looked vaguely like a CostCo and following her way to a treasure chest by the smell of seaweed. Opening it, the inside was full of glowing purple dust which she knew was MSG. When she awoke, she had a plan.

  “We’re gonna ask the king to establish a flavor crystal factory after I show him the stuff,” Jessica said as they packed up. “He’ll put me in charge and then I’ll poach all of Barleyfield from Kenneth and that fatass Earl and I’ll have you all working with more efficient processes and doing eight-hour days for a good wage and— scratch that, four-hour days. You’ll have plenty of time for leisure and some money in your pocket. How’s that sound?”

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  John looked at her hesitantly before cracking a slight smile. “That oughta be good. I don’t know what I’d do with all that spare time yet. Maybe learn to read.”

  Jessica mounted Burnish and helped John on behind her. After a few minutes of riding she said, “You don’t seem enthusiastic.”

  “Oh, no, I am! I really am. It’s just… four hours of work is nothin’. Somethin’ ‘bout it feels wrong. And craft work just ain’t what I’m built for. I’d rather be out in the fields ten hours than boilin’ seaweed for four,” he said.

  “You could always save up and buy your own farm with your wages,” Jessica said.

  “Yeah… I guess I could. Maybe all us Barleyfielders could own one big farm to ourselves. That’d be nice.”

  That thought seemed to comfort him more than a 20-hour workweek. Jessica knew what she would choose if she had the option and it was not ten hours of farm labor every day. She wanted extra time to pursue her own research interests for once without being at the whim of grants.

  The second day of riding was quieter and the prairie came into sight around sundown. Itching to burn off the rest of his mint-candy energy, Jessica let Burnish sprint full-tilt until the crowds grew thicker near the city gate.

  John was impressed with her access to the special VIP-only gate and regaled her with his story of running a car wash to pay for the gate tolls. The story had her laughing so hard she teared up and she was infected thereafter by sporadic giggles all the way through the west end of town and down into the tunnel to the castle.

  Her giggles abruptly stopped as they exited out onto the promontory. There were a few new shapes hanging from the castle walls. Dread boiled in her stomach. She wheeled Burnish around.

  “Something wrong?” John asked.

  “I don’t know yet,” Jessica said. “If I’m being paranoid, we can laugh about it later. For now, I’m going to get you to an inn. Stay there until I come get you, don't answer the door for anybody, and don't mention my name. Understood?”

  John swallowed. “Yes ma’am.”

  On the way to the inn she took several winding alleyways and doubled back on herself to avoid being tailed by an adventurer or someone in Mystiferia’s hire. She had no idea whether or not she was successful given she was working exclusively off vague memories of spy movies and TV shows, but it kept her from feeling helpless.

  Once she dropped John off Jessica hurried back to the castle. Her fears were confirmed when she saw the hanging shapes were indeed humanoid. With some relief she saw that none of them were small enough to be Riza, or tubular enough to be Naga.

  And then she spotted Galloway.

  Color had long since drained from his face and puddled in his legs. His belly was swollen like a blood-fed tick. His eyes had been picked empty and his sockets stared sightlessly down at her. Around his neck and the necks of the two servants beside him were wooden placards which read ‘Attempted Regicide.’

  Wrestling with her own self-preservation, she rode on into the courtyard. Down by the harbor she heard the sounds of men working but their usual banter and singing was absent. Gone too was the omnipresent gossip of castle attendants. When she saw them at all it was scurrying between rooms without speaking or making eye contact.

  She was beginning to fear she would have to walk right into the lion’s den before getting answers when she spotted Captain Hamrick drilling a squadron of unenthusiastic guards.

  “Captain, do you have a moment?” she asked.

  Hamrick spun around with a glare like he was about to chew her out before recognizing who it was. He yelled for the guards to continue practicing their shield wall before taking Burnish’s reins and guiding her into the stables.

  “I suppose you’ll be wanting to know about Master Galloway,” Hamrick said.

  “Among other things,” Jessica said as she dismounted.

  “Let’s talk in my office.”

  She followed the guard captain to a small room in the back of the guards’ barracks. Inside was a table, some chairs, and a rack of scrolls. She took a seat and was about to ask about Mystiferia before stopping herself.

  “You must’ve read the placard,” Hamrick said as he took his own seat.

  “I did, and I don’t believe it.”

  He rubbed his face and exhaled. “I don’t want to believe it either, but Mystiferia has never been wrong before. On top of that, I was with the queen when she was poisoned. I saw her stop breathing and she appeared to be dead until Mystiferia stepped in with a special medicine.”

  Jessica’s jaw clenched. “I gather this happened not long after Galloway administered her morphine?”

  Hamrick nodded.

  Jessica felt her dread transform into fury. Somehow, Mystiferia had learned about the drug Jessica had prepared in case of an overdose and used it to frame Galloway without killing the queen. Jessica, being so focused on protecting Naga and Riza, hadn’t even considered Mystiferia might come after Galloway. She had underestimated how evil Mystiferia really was and now an innocent man was dead. But if she wanted to do anything about it, her next moves had to be razor precise.

  “I’ll investigate what happened, but first I want to ask you where I stand in all this,” Jessica said, steepling her hands over her mouth.

  The wrinkles around Hamrick’s eyes scrunched. “I know you wouldn’t be involved, Jessica. That’s at least what I want to believe. But I'd like to know why you were so insistent the queen try your medicine if it’s so dangerous. In hindsight—”

  “For one thing,” Jessica said, cutting him off, “that special medicine of Mystiferia’s was mine. It’s called naloxone and it’s an opioid antagonist from the same poppy plant. Galloway and I synthesized some just before I left. I can demonstrate exactly how I made it and you know damn well Mystiferia has no idea how to do that.”

  “That’d be easier to do if Galloway hadn’t burned his laboratory down before poisoning the queen.”

  “Then I’ll build it again!”

  Jessica’s cheeks flushed. Her attempt at ‘razor precise’ had lasted less than a minute. She needed to get control of herself. Immediately. She needed caffeine. Or amphetamine salts. Something. She needed anything that would stop her from becoming an emotional mess.

  Captain Hamrick grimaced. “I… suspect that’ll take some time. Like I said, I don’t think you were a part of anything Galloway planned to—”

  “He was innocent!” she screamed and her hands twitched and balled into fists in anger at herself and unballed and balled and unballed and balled. “No, look, listen. I don’t— We’ll figure this out. We’ll figure this out. I just need— Where are Riza and Naga? Riza is supposed to be training with you. Where’s Riza?”

  Captain Hamrick slowly raised his hand. “Jessica, I know you and Galloway were close, but it’s going to be easier to work through all this if you calm down first, okay?”

  “No, you’re right. Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna calm down,” Jessica said, forcing her hands to open and tapping her palms against the table. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Hamrick, where the fuck are my retainers?”

  “Mystiferia had them arrested.”