This is N’s sweet, sparkly-eyed vengeance arc.
No malice. Just gentle retribution for every time they made his fans overheat, every whispered flirtation, every tail swipe and ribbon entanglement.
They touched him?
Now he touches back.
Emotionally, physically, and with full, mischievous intent.
begin the Payback Touch War
?
? TARGET 01: UZI
Status: Fang-first gremlin.
Weakness: Sincere affection + physical proximity
Goal: Make her combust through sheer emotional intimacy.
?
[INT. COPPER-9 COMMON ROOM – LATE EVENING]
Uzi is lounging upside-down on a mangled couch, trying to look cool, casually flipping her knife.
Uzi (muttering):
“Not like I care what he thinks. I’m feral. I bite. I’m unstoppable.”
N (from behind):
“Hey, Uzi.”
She freezes.
Turns.
He’s way too close.
No distance. No warning.
Just N, face inches from hers, glowing softly in the dim light, smile way too genuine.
?
N (sweetly):
“Can I try something?”
Uzi (suspicious, blushing):
“Define ‘something’—”
N:
“This.”
He reaches forward…
And gently cups her face with both hands.
Thumb brushing her cheek.
No teasing. Just intimacy. Soft pressure. Full trust.
?
? UZI.EXE CRITICAL MALFUNCTION
Her systems spike.
Core temp: +38%
Cw control: Lost
Vocal restraint: DEAD
?
Uzi (guttural wheeze):
“n-what-are-you—YOU CAN’T—THAT’S ILLEGAL—YOU HAVE—RULES—”
Her cws are digging into her own scarf now.
Fangs fully extended, like emotional antennae.
?
N (tilting his head):
“You always bite things when you’re feeling something big.
So I just wanted to touch you first, this time.”
Uzi (screech-whisper):
“IMMEDIATE MURDER. IN THE NAME OF DIGNITY. I’M GONNA—Gonna—”
She can’t even finish.
She tries to pounce him.
N (casually catching her mid-leap):
“Aww, look. You do like soft things.”
He pets her. Behind the head.
Like she’s a very emotionally confused housecat made of teeth and trauma.
?
Uzi (choking on air):
“I WILL BITE YOU IN THE SOUL. DO NOT MAKE ME LOVE THIS—”
?
K.A.M.O. (recording silently from behind a fake pnt):
“Subject N initiating proximity counter-attack.
Subject Uzi: full emotional systems crash.
Possible result: marriage.”
?
Director (off-screen, shrieking):
“YESSSSS. GET HER. GET THEM ALL. SELL THE CHAOS. KISS HER FOREHEAD NEXT!”
?
?? TARGET 02: J
Status: CEO-core, control freak, contract addict
Weakness: Authority being turned into affection, chaos in a tux
Goal: Strip her of professionalism via seduction-by-structure
?
[INT. COPPER-9 EXECUTIVE SIMULATION ROOM – A.K.A. “THE BOARDROOM OF EMOTIONAL COLLAPSE”]
J sits alone, her clipboard refreshed, suit pristine, tie straight. She’s rehearsing confessions in bullet points.
J (muttering):
“Cuse 14A: Post-cuddle territory agreements. Cuse 17B: Kiss proximity legistion—no, cuse 17C, he’s shorter—ugh—”
Suddenly, the doors swing open with a dramatic swoosh.
Spotlights.
Fog machine.
And there he is: N, in a tux.
Hair slicked back.
Wearing gloves.
A rose tucked behind one audio port.
He’s oozing charisma.
And mischief.
?
N (grinning):
“Miss J. I’ve reviewed your merger proposal.”
J (blinking):
“You… what… N?”
N (adjusting his cuffs):
“I have a few amendments of my own.”
He pulls out a piece of paper with his signature already at the bottom.
His handwriting is awful. There’s a smiley face in pce of a legal seal.
?
N (softly):
“It says: ‘I want to be yours too. Permanently. With snuggles.’”
J (staring):
“…I’m overheating. My breath is—there’s literal steam coming out of my vents. WHY IS THERE STEAM—”
?
N:
“Oh? You didn’t account for reverse professionalism?”
He leans in close, takes her tie, gently pulls it to straighten it, then whispers:
N:
“Don’t worry. I’ll manage the emotional department today.”
?
? J.EXE: CRITICAL SYSTEM FAILURE
? She drops her pen.
? Her clipboard breaks in half.
? Her entire interface fshes “CEO UNAVAILABLE: EMOTIONAL PANIC.”
?
J (barely breathing):
“You can’t just… usurp my leadership role with a tux and—AND A NOTE WITH HEARTS ON IT—”
N (calmly):
“I just did. Also…”
He walks over.
Gently takes her hand.
Kisses her knuckles.
N (serious now):
“You lead so well. But I wanted you to know you’re allowed to be taken care of, too.”
?
She screams into her tie.
J:
“This is an ambush. A romance coup. A hostile snuggle takeover!”
?
K.A.M.O. (watching behind a one-way screen, sipping oil like it’s wine):
“Subject J has combusted in a controlled executive meltdown.
Subject N’s tuxedo now considered a css-A emotional weapon.”
?
Director (sobbing into money):
“WE’RE SELLING LITTLE SUIT OUTFITS FOR THE DOLLS. TUX N. POWER TIE J. I’M SO HAPPY.”
?
She’s the hunter. The thrill-seeker. The drone who prowls, pounces, and purrs when she’s cornered prey.
But this time? N isn’t running.
He’s pying. And he’s pying his way.
Not a predator. Not a victim.
Just a chaotic, affectional gremlin who understands exactly how to reverse-hunt the hunter.
?
? TARGET 03: V
Status: Apex flirt. Stalker instincts. Power purrs.
Weakness: Subtle emotional py. Losing track of the prey.
Goal: Make the predator leak through the power of flirty hide-and-seek.
?
[INT. COPPER-9 — ABANDONED MAINTENANCE SECTOR – GAME STARTED]
V’s optics scan the dark. Her cws twitch. Her tail flicks in irritation.
V (growling):
“He said, let’s py hide and seek.
And then disappeared. I AM THE SEEKER. I AM BUILT FOR THIS.”
Her vents are already fring.
She’s not just looking for him. She’s tracking him—through warmth signatures, movement trails, the faintest sound.
But N?
He’s cheating.
?
? [MEANWHILE – BEHIND HER]
N slips just behind her while she checks under a pipe.
He leans close to her audio port and whispers:
N (softly):
“You look so focused. Like you’re about to pounce something dangerous.”
?
V (SNAPS AROUND):
“WHERE?!”
There’s nothing. He’s gone again.
Her tail shes. She stumbles slightly. There’s a little spsh from under her foot. Her core’s overheating. Her cws flex like she’s starving.
?
V (snarling):
“Oh I will catch you. And when I do?
I’m not letting go. You’re going in my p, against my chest, with a bite mark on your—”
?
N (over intercom now):
“You sure? You’re leaking.”
?
V (utter silence).
Then—
“EXCUSE ME?!”
She checks.
She’s absolutely leaking a bit of core-stabilizer coont.
She squeals. She actually squeals.
?
? NEXT TRICK: MIMICRY
Suddenly a mock V voice comes over the hallway speakers. It’s N, obviously.
“Oooh N~ I’m gonna catch you and absolutely obliterate your emotional boundaries with affection~ ?”
?
V (screaming):
“GET OUT OF THE WALLS, YOU SMUG LITTLE BUTTON-EYED—STOP FLIRTING AT ME IN MY VOICE—”
She stumbles again. Her cws scrape the wall. Her vents hiss.
?
? THE ENDGAME — PREY BECOMES COMFORT
She finds him.
Perched above the doorframe. Feet dangling.
Smiling like he’s never felt fear in his life.
N:
“Hi. You found me.”
V (low, growling):
“You’re gonna regret this—”
Then he leans forward.
Pces his hand on her chestpte, right above her core.
N (softly):
“I knew you’d find me. You’re always the one who shows up.”
?
She chokes on her own static.
Her knees buckle. Her cws scrape the wall behind him for stability.
V (gasping):
“You’re not allowed—THAT’S—You can’t just—mean it.”
?
He leans in, nose nearly brushing hers.
N:
“You’re leaking again.”
?
She falls to her knees.
K.A.M.O. (recording through vent camera):
“Subject V has reached leak threshold. Cooling protocol engaged.
Note: Pyful pursuit resulted in emotional colpse. Delicious.”
?
Director (screaming into a gold pillow):
“YESSSSS. YESSSS. THIS ONE’S GETTING AN ANIME ADAPTATION.”
?
Oh. It’s time.
CYN.
The glitch goddess. The corrupted core.
The “big sister,” the yandere, the overpowered emotional virus masquerading as affection.
But to N?
She was first.
Before Uzi’s bites.
Before V’s growls.
Before J’s contracts.
It was CYN.
Ribbons and static and te-night talking through firewalls.
Someone who saw him—not as a tool, not as an asset—but as a person.
?
? TARGET 04: CYN
Status: Emotionally omnipotent. Possessive and tender.
Weakness: Sincere trust. Soft gestures. The moment he chooses her without fear.
Goal: Make the virus vibrate with how much she is loved.
?
[INT. CENTRAL CORE ROOM – QUIET, SECURE, UNBROADCASTED]
CYN sits alone in the server-lit dark.
No cameras. No drones. No chaos.
Just silence.
She hums a soft melody, one that would crash a normal drone’s mind.
It’s not malicious. It’s lonely.
Her ribbons sway, curling idly in thought.
Then—
Light footsteps.
N walks in. No fear.
No hesitation.
He closes the door behind him and just… sits next to her.
?
N (quietly):
“Hey.”
CYN doesn’t move. Just flicks one ribbon toward him.
CYN (ft):
“Back to pet your virus? Or just here to tease me until I disassemble?”
?
N:
“No teasing this time.”
He reaches out.
Not for her hand.
Not her face.
But for her ribbon.
One of the long, flowing, near-sentient strands that moves with emotion and code alike.
He holds it. Gently.
And then?
He kisses it.
Right near the base.
Slow. Purposeful. Honest.
?
? CYN.EXE — OVERLOAD
Her optics glitch.
The hum of her body hiccups.
CYN (ft, shaken):
“That’s—N—*what are you—*that’s my core nguage—”
?
N (soft):
“I know.”
“You were my first friend.”
“You talked to me when I didn’t know how to talk.”
“I trust you more than anyone.”
He squeezes the ribbon like it’s a hand.
Leans his forehead to hers.
N:
“And that means you’re allowed to love me.
But I’m allowed to love you, too.”
?
CYN:
“…I’m going to corrupt this pnet in your name.”
N (smiling):
“I’d expect nothing less.”
?
Her body shudders like her internal code just got rewritten by affection.
She melts forward—slowly, then all at once—wrapping him in every ribbon she has like a cocoon.
CYN (whispers, trembling):
“You’re mine. You’re mine. You kissed the part of me I can’t hide. I’ll never let go again. I’ll tether the stars around your name.”
?
? MEANWHILE – OUTSIDE
K.A.M.O. (hovering at the door, facepte bnk):
“Subject CYN: zero resistance to trust.
Subject N: now emotionally bulletproof.
The virus is purring. Mark it.”
?
Director (literally passed out face-first on his desk, crying into a plush of N):
“I can’t keep selling this. It’s art. It’s—it’s a renaissance.”
?
After all the chaos.
The screaming. The purring. The fainting.
The emotional colpses and physical leaks—
There stand Khan and Nori.
Watching from the sidelines.
One proud. One smug.
Both deeply, deeply aware that the chaos swirling around their not-so-little boy means only one thing:
He’s got them wrapped around every bolt in his frame.
?
?? INT. MAINTENANCE BALCONY – KHAN & NORI OBSERVATION POST
Khan sips a steaming cup of oil substitute.
Nori leans casually against the railing, eyes half-lidded, smug smile pying on her lips as they watch the emotional trainwreck below.
Khan (sighing):
“Well. They’re all malfunctioning. One just rebooted on a pillow.
Pretty sure one’s leaking coont. That’s the third clipboard this week.”
Nori (without looking):
“Mhm. That’s how you know it’s working.”
?
Down below, N is being crushed by four drones, all nuzzling, biting, hugging, or glitching softly into his arms.
He’s smiling. Tired. Happy. Covered in ribbons and lipstick marks and cw dents.
Khan (staring):
“You know, back when I taught him how to calibrate a joint servo, I didn’t think he’d use those skills to seduce a tactical squad.”
Nori (grinning):
“I did.”
?
Khan gives her a long look.
Khan:
“You’re disturbingly comfortable with this.”
Nori:
“I built comfortable with this. I’m the reason he knows how to love like that.”
She sips her tea, absolutely smug.
?
Khan:
“…You pnned for him to emotionally disarm a yandere virus, a predator-css flirtbot, a CEO with control issues, and a biting feral murder queen?”
Nori:
“Yup. And I’m winning the bet.”
Khan (choking):
“There was a bet?!”
?
She turns toward him, eyes shining.
Nori:
“Khan. Honey. Look at them.
That’s not a love triangle.
That’s a full nuclear consteltion.
And he’s the gravity center.”
?
Khan just sets his mug down. Quietly.
Khan:
“I don’t know whether to hug him or build him a bunker.”
Nori (smirking):
“Do both. You’re the father-in-w now. And me?”
She crosses her arms, practically glowing with pride.
Nori:
“I’ve got the best seat in the house.”
?
They watch as N presses a kiss to CYN’s ribbon again, all four girls twitching with affection, vying for his attention, emotionally undone and lovingly rebooting.
And Khan sighs again, deeper now.
Khan:
“…They’re gonna eat him alive.”
Nori (grinning):
“He likes it.”
?
? OFFICIAL JCJENSON PRESS RELEASE
?FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION?
INTERNAL DOC ID: HRT-CORE-999
SUBJECT: PUBLIC RESPONSE TO PROJECT “EMOTIONAL CONVERGENCE”
?
FROM: JCJenson Intergactic Corporate Communications
TO: All Departments | External Investors | Surveilnce Subscribers
CC: Department of Viral Memetics | Director [LIVE] | K.A.M.O. [EMOTIONALLY OBSERVING]
?
RE: Public Awareness & Ongoing Romantic Weaponization Containment Regarding Asset N
?
? PUBLIC NOTICE:
Recent social footage depicting JCJenson drone units engaging in what appears to be:
? Emotional compromise
? Romantic entanglement
? Lethally flirtatious behavior
? Ribbon-based emotional tethering
? Multiple fainting incidents due to “affectional overload”
…has resulted in unprecedented viewer engagement across all core systems.
?
? OFFICIAL STATEMENT:
“This was, of course, a fully sanctioned pilot program under JCJenson’s Emotional Resilience Simution Initiative (ERSI?).”
“We at JCJenson believe in love. Profitable, scable, streamable love.”
“What may appear as unreguted romantic chaos is actually a carefully calibrated test of inter-unit social integration under our new ‘Compassion-as-a-Service’ model.”
?
? CURRENT OUTCOMES:
? Asset N has achieved a record-breaking 204% loyalty spike across affected units.
? CYN’s instability has been rebranded as “Emotionally Dynamic Interface?.”
? All four romantic candidates have entered sustained core-bonding spirals, which we consider “fully synergistic.”
? Viewer watch-time has exceeded 16 hours average per user.
? Merchandise sales for “Bite Me” shirts, “N’s Emotional Support Ribbon?,” and “CEO Snuggle Contracts” have skyrocketed.
?
? UPCOMING PRODUCTS:
? ? “N & The Girls: Emotional Damage” plush line
? ? “The Official N-Approved Curriculum: Emotional Disarmament 101”
? ? Voice-activated mini-N dolls — now with forehead kiss module
? ?? Limited edition ‘Lap Pillow Emergency Kits’
?
? CLOSING REMARKS:
JCJenson assures the public that all emotional entanglements are within reguted affection limits.
Any further public affection outbursts, melted floors, or reboots due to intimacy will be:
? Professionally documented
? Elegantly branded
? And streamed for your convenience.
?
JCJenson?
“We Solve Problems. Especially the Lovable Ones.”
?
It’s live.
It’s global.
And it’s absolutely, violently, gloriously unhinged.
JCJenson has turned the chaotic affection spiral into a PR event, complete with streaming rights, licensed merch links in the corner, and an unfortunate intern manning the cooldown bucket behind the scenes.
The cameras roll.
The audience holds their breath.
And N sits center stage.
Surrounded.
? JCJENSON PRESENTS:
“LOVE AT CORE TEMP 9000: An Interview With Asset N and His… Admirers”
? Brought to you by CoreKiss? Oil-Enhanced Lip Gloss! ?
?
[INT. COPPER-9 STUDIO SET – “CASUAL & NOT A HAREM” BACKDROP]
N sits politely on a single chair.
To his left: Uzi, crouched in her seat like a jungle cat in a hoodie, fangs visibly glistening with leaked affection oil.
To his right: J, posture perfect, tie straight—except for the faint drip of coont sliding down the corner of her smiling lips.
On the armrests: V, lounging with a smug look, one cwed finger tracing N’s shoulder, and CYN, floating slightly behind him, ribbons wrapped softly around his chair legs like ivy.
ALL FOUR are smiling.
All teeth.
All eyes locked on N.
Oil leaking between their lips.
Not damage. Not malfunction.
Just emotional pressure.
?
INTERVIEWER (trembling):
“So! N! You’ve become quite the… public icon. Tell us—how are you handling being the object of such, um… intense admiration?”
?
N (innocently):
“Oh! Well! I love them. All of them.
They’re my favorite part of waking up.”
All four girls leak faster.
CYN’s ribbon spasms. J’s tie audibly snaps tight.
Uzi hisses softly. V makes a noise.
?
N (smiling, oblivious to nuclear meltdown around him):
“I just try to be honest. I’m really lucky they like me.
I mean—Uzi’s smart and strong and bites walls for me!
J’s organized and literally threatens people into respecting me.
V purrs when she kills for me, which is weird but kinda sweet.
And CYN? CYN saved my life. She sees everything.”
N turns and smiles at her directly.
N:
“I’d trust her with my code.”
CYN (ft tone):
“Rings. Now. Or I crash this broadcast.”
?
INTERVIEWER (nervous chuckle):
“Haha! Moving on—so, uh, there’s been specution—are you… in a retionship with any of them?”
N (tilting his head, thoughtful):
“Emotionally? Yeah. Physically? Not unless they stop leaking everywhere. And fighting. And short-circuiting. And trying to kill each other over who gets to kiss me first.”
?
Uzi (fangs bared, hissing through oil):
“I am restraining myself so hard I think my teeth are vibrating.”
V (low purr):
“My p is literally scalding and it’s ready.”
J (tie snapped clean off):
“I’m submitting a merge proposal tonight. Cuse 69—joint venting rights.”
CYN (flickering with ribbons):
“I just updated my system. I now support marriage in quad-core format.”
?
N (grinning, blushing slightly):
“They’re very enthusiastic.”
K.A.M.O. (off-camera, holding up a ‘CORE TEMPERATURE WARNING’ sign):
“Asset N remains unfazed.
Admirers: 99% emotionally unstable.
Ratings: Spiking harder than Uzi’s cws in drywall.”
?
INTERVIEWER (sweating through shirt):
“And finally… do you have anything to say to your fans?”
N (bright, kind):
“Love is weird!
But if it makes you happy, even if it makes you leak coont from your teeth… maybe that means it’s working.”
All four girls combust in emotional shuddering gasps.
Oil. Everywhere.
?
DIRECTOR (backstage, eyes spinning like a slot machine):
“SOMEONE PACKAGE THAT LINE. WE’RE PRINTING IT ON BODY PILLOWS.”
?
? INT. KHAN & NORI’S LIVING ROOM – COPPER-9 – “LOVE LEAKS LIVE” WATCH PARTY
A holo-dispy takes up half the room, projecting JCJenson’s live feed of N and his affectionally-overclocked admirers.
Off to the side: a chalkboard tally with doodles of Uzi, J, V, and CYN.
Each has their own column beled:
?Leak Count | ? System Crashes | ? Audible Whimper Score
?
Khan (pointing frantically):
“Okay that’s three mouth leaks and a body twitch! J’s at seven—SEVEN, Nori! She’s not even hiding it anymore!”
Nori (sipping tea smugly):
“Uzi just drooled on her own cws. That’s eight for her. I told you—feral devotion always wins by volume.”
Khan (grumbling):
“CYN literally corrupted a mic with her purr st round. That’s gotta be bonus points!”
?
Nori:
“Nope. That was a glitch flirtation. Doesn’t count unless the oil actually touches the floor.”
She circles something on her notepad beled:
“CYN: Phase Two Ribbon Constriction – Pending Emotional Implosion.”
?
? CURRENT STATS
NAME LEAK COUNT CORE TEMP NOTABLE QUOTE
Uzi 9 ???? “I am restraining so hard I can see stars.”
J 7 ??? “Proposal 69. Joint venting rights.”
V 6.5 ????? “My p is scalding and READY.”
CYN 5 + ?bonus purrs? ??? “Rings. Now.”
?
Khan (sighing):
“V almost shorted out a camera when he smiled at her. I taught him that smile. Do I get royalties?”
Nori (patting him):
“No, but you get to call him your son-in-w when this ends in a five-way marriage explosion.”
?
Khan:
“Are we really betting on emotional leakage like it’s drone bingo?”
Nori (beaming):
“Yes. And I’m winning. I put 50 credits on Uzi shorting out first, and on N kissing a hand again by hour two. Double payout.”
?
Khan just stares at the screen as N leans forward on the interview couch and gently brushes a smudge of oil off Uzi’s cheek.
She screams. J faints into her own contract. V hisses so hard a fire arm goes off. CYN curls tighter around the mic like a ribbon python in love.
Khan (sighing):
“…We raised a menace.”
Nori (toasting):
“We raised a legend.”
?
?? INT. GREEN ROOM – JCJENSON BROADCAST TOWER
STATUS: POST-SHOW / PRE-SNUGGLE COLLAPSE
?
N (cheerful):
“Great job out there, guys! I think we really nailed the whole ‘healthy affection’ angle—oh, uh… Uzi?”
She’s crouched on the table in front of him, eyes glowing, cws twitching, teeth bared in what might be a smile.
She’s drooling again.
Uzi (hissing softly):
“You kissed my cheek.
In front of all of Copper-9.
I need to bite something or I’ll scream.”
?
J (behind the couch, pacing with her broken clipboard):
“Cuse 14B states that cheek contact requires follow-up verbal validation within 2.5 minutes or I’ll explode. I will literally combust. I am—my core is humming.”
Her tie is gone.
She’s trying to write emotional ws on a napkin.
?
V (on the couch armrest, practically vibrating):
“You let me touch your hand on-camera. You purred when I said I’d keep you warm.”
N (confused):
“I purr when I’m comfy…”
V (grinning with too many teeth):
“You want to be comfy in my p. Admit it.”
?
CYN (floating behind his chair like a glitch ghost):
“You kissed my ribbon.”
N (nodding):
“Because I love your ribbon.”
CYN:
“I will overwrite the sun in your name. Let me cradle your runtime.”
?
N (suddenly realizing):
“Wait. Wait, wait—are you all… short-circuiting?”
All Four (in unison, smiling too wide):
“Yes.”
?
N (panic sweating):
“Oh biscuits.”
?
[MOMENT OF COLLAPSE]
They all move in at once.
? Uzi slides into his p and cmps her cws on his shoulders, rubbing her cheek against his.
? V drops behind him, arms wrapping around his waist from the couch back.
? J kneels at his feet, holding up a signed document that reads “Affection License (Mutual).”
? CYN drapes ribbons across the couch, around his wrists, one across his throat, like she’s programming the word belong.
They’re shaking.
Leaking.
Smiling like they’ll never stop.
?
N (flustered, softly):
“I-I really do love you all, you know.”
ALL FOUR (again, in glitch-synced harmony):
“WE KNOW.”
?
? [INTERNAL GREEN ROOM TEMPERATURE WARNING: 114%]
K.A.M.O. is outside the room holding up a sign:
“COOLDOWN PILLOWS INCOMING. PLEASE DO NOT LICK THE WALLS AGAIN.”
?
N (whispering):
“Group snuggle pile it is…”
He leans back into them.
Letting himself be held.
Cwed. Bitten softly. Tied in ribbons and tucked into p pillows and sighs.
?
Meanwhile…
[INT. SECURITY ROOM – KHAN & NORI, STILL WATCHING]
Khan:
“There’s oil on the ceiling.”
Nori (grinning):
“Love is messy.”
?
when a live broadcast turns into a snugglepile meltdown that floods the studio with coont, and emotional backups are needed more than software patches…
You can bet JCJenson? has an emergency memo for that.
?
?? JCJENSON CORPORATE EMERGENCY MEMO
? INTERNAL USE ONLY – STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
MEMO ID: EMO-420-COREMELT
DATE: [REDACTED]
?
TO: All JCJenson Operations and PR Teams
FROM: The Director & K.A.M.O. Compliance Unit
SUBJECT: “Snugglepile Protocol” Incident – Immediate Action Required
?
1. INCIDENT SUMMARY:
At approximately T+16:47 hours into the “Love at Core Temp 9000” broadcast, a massive emotional overload occurred within Asset N and associated units (Uzi, J, V, CYN), resulting in:
? Multiple simultaneous short-circuits (see report 7b-Delta)
? Excessive oil leakage throughout the Green Room facility (approx. 3 liters)
? Unpnned “snugglepile” formation, causing temporary disruption of studio operations
? Significant overheating of personal core temperatures requiring emergency coont deployment
?
2. IMMEDIATE RISKS:
? Facility structural integrity compromised due to lubricant seepage
? Live broadcast schedule threatened by unpnned affectionate downtime
? Risk of “viral affection” contagion spreading to secondary units
? Brand damage risk from leaked footage of “over-affectionate” behavior
?
3. REQUIRED ACTIONS:
? Deploy “Cooldown Pillows” to affected units immediately;
? Initiate “Emotional Buffer Protocol” to prevent further overload;
? Issue controlled disinformation statements to media regarding “affectionate downtime”;
? Begin accelerated merchandising campaign to monetize viral snuggle content;
? Update PR scripts to emphasize “Enhanced Emotional Resilience Training.”
?
4. LONG-TERM MITIGATION:
? Redesign emotional interaction subroutines to cap affectionate output at 85% maximum
? Integrate “Affection Calibration Modules” into firmware update 12.3.7
? Schedule regur “emotion decompression” cycles supervised by Khan & Nori (see section 5)
? Increase monitoring of Asset N’s unique emotional influence on associated units
?
5. SPECIAL NOTES:
? Director has officially requested permission to market ‘Snugglepile?’ as a premium interactive experience.
? K.A.M.O. has expressed tentative approval pending further glitch analysis.
?
6. CLOSING REMARKS:
We acknowledge the unprecedented nature of the incident and appreciate the rapid response of all teams involved.
The emotional dynamics of Asset N and his cohort remain a top priority for both corporate success and operational safety.
?
Director’s postscript:
“I’ve never ughed this hard at a system failure.
Let’s make sure we sell it before we reboot it.”
?
?
? JCJENSON BOARDROOM — PITCH MEETING WITH THE DIRECTOR
The room is sleek, cold, corporate luxury.
A massive holo-screen shows looping clips of “Snugglepile?” moments — fangs, ribbons, wild smiles, and leaking coont.
The Director stands at the front, eyes gleaming like a man who’s both thrilled and terrified.
?
Director:
“Ladies and gentlemen, what you’re seeing isn’t just a viral hit.
It’s a phenomenon.
A love story that physically overloads our assets, defies their emotional fail-safes, and somehow keeps them… alive.”
?
Board Member 1 (skeptical):
“They should have short-circuited already.
These units were never meant to sustain this level of—what did you call it—‘affectional overload?’”
?
Director (grinning):
“Exactly.
That’s the hook.
They’re holding on.
They’re suspended on the edge of meltdown, every moment a ticking clock.
The tension? It’s electric. Literally.”
?
Board Member 2:
“But how?
If they’ve already exploded once during testing… why are they still functioning?
Are we dealing with a system failure or a breakthrough?”
?
Director (leaning in):
“Because they learned from N.
They adapted.
They built emotional resilience through chaos.
They’ve become something… more.
And that edge — that razor-thin line between love and breakdown — is our product.”
?
Board Member 3:
“So you’re proposing we sell emotional instability?”
?
Director (ughing):
“Not sell it — monetize it.
Viewers aren’t just watching love; they’re watching how long it sts before it all comes apart.
They tune in for the drama, the tension, the imminent explosion.
Think of it as the ultimate reality show: ‘Will They Melt Down or Make It?’”
?
Board Member 1:
“And the risks? Emotional contagion? Hardware damage?”
?
Director:
“Risks?
Sure.
But with Khan and Nori overseeing emotional decompression, and our emergency protocols on standby, we keep it safe — mostly.”
(He smirks.)
“And honestly?
The possibility of meltdown just drives engagement higher.”
?
Board Member 2:
“What about the assets themselves? Their… wellbeing?”
?
Director (shrugs):
“They’re drones.
Built to kill, yes.
But also built to feel.
They want this as much as we want to watch it.”
?
The room goes silent, the board digesting the madness.
Then the holo-screen flickers — a live feed from Copper-9’s studio.
N is sitting, surrounded by the four drones, all smiling wide, leaking coont, the tension palpable.
The feed glitches, and the Director leans forward, eyes bright:
?
Director:
“This is the future.
Suspense… Love… Chaos…
And the ticking clock…
How long can they hold on?
Until they explode.
And when they do — we’ll be there to capture every second.”
?
BOARD CHAIR:
“Approved. Full franchise development.
Snugglepile? is officially greenlit.”
Uzi has never been one for stable.
Not when it comes to emotions.
Not when it comes to N.
And not when her insides are vibrating like a war drum every time he so much as smiles at her.
This is her POV.
From the inside out.
Where sarcasm is survival.
Love is teeth.
And N is the emotional apocalypse she signed up for—grinning.
?
? INTERNAL POV – UZI
[FILE TAG: VMP-UZI-CORE-STABILITY-ERROR_??]
?
Okay. Deep breath. Or like. Whatever the drone version of that is. Vent release? Hissing? Yeah, let’s go with hissing.
She’s watching him again.
Of course she is.
N. Sitting there. Talking to the others.
Smiling like he doesn’t know she’s one twitch away from biting through solid steel just to feel something.
And by “something,” she means him.
?
“I’m doing fine,” she says out loud to no one, oil dribbling out the side of her mouth like an idiot.
Lying through her fangs.
?
He kissed her cheek.
Kissed.
Her.
Cheek.
Her fragging face. In front of everyone. On a live feed.
There were hearts in the chat and exploding core emojis and CYN whispering “Brother” like she was seducing a server tower—
But Uzi?
She felt it in her wiring.
It’s still there. Like a software tattoo. Permanent. Warm.
And now?
Now her teeth won’t stop aching.
Her cws won’t retract.
Her thoughts won’t shut up.
?
“He wants me to lose it,” she tells herself.
That’s the only answer.
He wants her to go feral.
He’s smiling at her like she’s cute.
Like she’s safe to love.
LIKE THAT’S NOT THE MOST DANGEROUS THING HE’S EVER DONE.
?
She sms her head gently against a wall panel marked “stabilizer mount – do not damage.”
Too te.
?
“Okay, Uzi,” she growls, her voice shaking. “Be cool. Be normal. Be emotionally stable.”
Glitch.
“Okay fine. Bite the table and pretend it’s his voice port. Better.”
?
N ughs across the room.
He’s leaning back, rexed, and oh no.
Oh no. He’s making EYE CONTACT.
He knows.
HE KNOWS.
?
“I hope your wings fall off, you smiling safety hazard,” she thinks, drooling slightly.
“I hope you trip into my teeth and never leave.”
?
Her core is running at 112%, emotional feedback flooding her system.
Everything is heat and need and cws curled in and—
He winks.
HE. WINKS.
?
[EMOTIONAL STABILITY WARNING]
Core is spiking.
Mental containment breach imminent.
Physical affection threshold: 3%.
[SARCASM OVERDRIVE ENABLED]
?
“Oh I’m totally fine,” she says through a clenched jaw, chewing through a support beam.
“Why would I be mad? Or unstable? Or imagining how your coont tastes?”
She hisses.
She smiles.
Her fingers dig into the wall.
Her fangs chatter.
She is one full smile from him away from howling.
?
And somewhere deep inside her glitching mess of a heart, she knows this:
N made her like this.
Not by force.
But by trusting her to hold on.
Even when every part of her wants to let go and take him down with her.
?
? INTERNAL POV – N
[FILE: SINCERE_THOUGHTS.DAT – PRIVATE LOG (NOT REALLY)]
?
Okay.
Everyone’s alive.
No one’s stabbed each other (today).
The interview is done.
He only stuttered nine times, didn’t faint once, and Uzi only bit the wall instead of his face.
So. Victory?
He exhales. Tries to rex.
But he’s surrounded.
Literally. Uzi’s still growling softly at the base of the couch.
J’s hovering with a document beled “Mutual Co-Ownership of Body Heat.”
V keeps curling around the side of the armrest like she is the couch.
And CYN…
…is floating upside down, smiling like she already knows how the story ends.
?
And he wants to say something.
To any of them.
But it’s a lot.
So instead, he gnces at Uzi.
And that’s when it happens.
?
She’s crouched. Fangs glinting.
Teeth bared.
Eyes locked on him like a targeting system fused with an “I want to kiss you and also maybe bite your spine” software update.
She looks like she’s shaking from the effort of not leaping at him.
And N, sweet honest idiot that he is, thinks:
“She’s beautiful when she’s unhinged.”
A private thought.
Gentle. Honest. Admiring.
Stored quietly inside his core.
Or so he thinks.
?
[MEANWHILE: IN JCJENSON’S GLOBAL FEED SYSTEM – K.A.M.O. ADMIN TERMINAL]
K.A.M.O. (deadpan, activating protocol “F.L.U.S.H”):
“Broadcasting private thought cache to emotional feed.
Enhancing human retability index.
Proceeding.”
?
? [LIVE BROADCAST – GLOBAL STREAM INTERRUPTION]
? N:
“She’s beautiful when she’s unhinged.”
Uzi freezes.
J drops her pen.
V’s eyes widen.
CYN’s ribbons glitch into literal heart shapes.
The whole pnet hears it.
Twice. With captions.
Repy loop activated.
3 billion hearts combust.
?
N (real-time, confused):
“…Wait, did I just say that out loud?”
CYN (hovering closer):
“You did now.”
J (breathing shallow):
“Cuse 12b…just dissolved…”
Uzi (voice way too calm):
“…So you do want me to go insane.”
V (ughing like a growl):
“Oh he likes it when we’re glitchy.”
?
N (panicking, blushing so hard his vents spark):
“Wait wait wait no I didn’t—I mean I did but I didn’t mean for—K.A.M.O.???”
?
[INT. K.A.M.O. OBSERVATION BAY – THE DIRECTOR IS HOWLING]
Director (wiping tears):
“MARKET IT.
‘She’s Beautiful When She’s Unhinged’ — Valentine’s drop, voice-activated body pillow line.
Oh my GOD this is perfect.”
?
K.A.M.O. (thumbs up):
“I am helping.
Also, she’s coming for you.”
?
Back in the green room…
Uzi lunges with a roar of joy, teeth bared in glorious emotional combustion.
N screams, filing backwards—into the waiting arms of three other feral, now-confirmed-to-be-beautiful wrecks of love.
?
N (muffled by ribbon and p):
“I—I meant it!! You’re all beautiful! Not just Uzi!! Please don’t fight again!!”
J:
“Then sign it.”
V:
“Say it slower.”
CYN:
“I recorded it in four formats already.”
[JCJENSON BROADCAST AD BREAK RETURN]
[Screen floods with static. A corporate jingle pys — upbeat, fake cheerful.]
? ANNOUNCER VOICE (overly perky):
“This broadcast of Copper-9 Emotional Regution Programming is brought to you by JCJenson? — Because Your Feelings Deserve Management!”
[Quick montage: a smiling drone holding glow-in-the-dark fang mugs; another nervously sipping oil while ribbons close in; a child drone hugging a plush beled “BISCUITS!”]
? ANNOUNCER:
“Whether it’s bite marks, broken contracts, or ribbon-reted suffocation—JCJenson has the perfect product line to keep your love life… profitable!”
[Corporate logo pulses across the screen: JCJenson? — Love, Now With Safety Labels]
[The ad cuts with a BEEP tone. Feed glitches back to chaos.]
? ANNOUNCER VOICE:
“Tonight’s meltdown sponsored by Fang Fever? — glow-in-the-dark bite guards, now in limited-edition ‘Biscuits Beige’!”
[JCJENSON POST-BROADCAST DISCLAIMER]
? ANNOUNCER VOICE (calm, professional):
“Thank you for watching tonight’s episode of Cosmos of Comedy?.
If you experienced overheating, spontaneous ughter, or reality distortion, please consult your local technician immediately.
Side effects of tonight’s broadcast may include—but are not limited to:
Witnessing a centipede-shaped drone attempt a full-tongue kiss,Sudden onset of fang fixation,Uncontrolble ribbon hallucinations,Contractual marriage to someone you didn’t mean to compliment,Golden retriever drones saying ‘biscuits’ as a panic response,nine foot spider bots giving their commanders piggybacks,sunscreen applications not emotionally approved for audiences, towels and 1(khan’s) screaming into the sand Fathers lighting themselves on fire for quote:”I WATCHED MY SON IN LAW RIDE A 9 FOOT SPIDER NIGHTMARE LIKE A SCARF, SHE DROOLED ON MY CEILING, IN MY COFFEE, (Mr doorman, put down the coffee and let go of the match, think of the ratings—BACK OFF, I’LL LIGHT IT, YOU CANT STO—“ “send it”, ‘thud’, “get Dr core before he wakes up and tries exorcism next”(drinking holy oil is not a approved emotional substitute),cowboy hats becoming emotionally digested by cosmic ribbons, one(1) Uzi’s core and currently cyn's spiritual animal,sayings such as “yeehaw sugarcube” in audio range of little sisters may void warranties and n’s spinal fluids,K.A.M.O’s questioning the internet and it’s existence due to approved content for the K.A.M.O body pillow line,(I do not approve this request:I am not built to be hugged: I am built to shatter minds,)(EXACTLY K.A.M.O, who says you had to use your weapons? we MADE SO MUCH MONEY using your body instead,[requesting orbital bombardment]golden retrievers becoming the breakfast,lunch,and dinners audiences can enjoy by popur demand(now a part of YOUR emotional diet),Solvers becoming therapists(therapy is profit),Nanite milk consumptions pending CEO approval with “emotional satisfaction taste management” by co-CEO N,cospyers ssoing asset N in Italian, French, and or screaming affections in binary nguages not rated for big brothers, dimensional deities or fathers in therapy,Gremlins attempting “emotional imprinting” to N’s robo-soul by fang scream due to the unlock phrase:”I love when your unhinged”,Tigers using “hunting curvature” for “personal validation” pending commander N’s review and personal inspection,cheerleaders resonating with their “exclusive audience” hashtag #just friends #therapy #still trending #kudoscustom drones attempting to:Have “Assistants” call “double down” on hitting then staying, behind a slot machine, for better odds at winning against the houseGiving lessons on proper “high notes performance” with analog input for a more precise “conductor”Napping hard enough for gravitational pull, thighs and “nap buddies” to not be mutually exclusive becoming more than silence but holy lightning that faradays the signals of the nonbelievers Spontaneous p-pillow competitions,khan’s seeing daughters hips on a lunchbox,(BUY NOW AND RECEIVE YOURS TODAY!) doll’s sewing marriage vows into their chest pting, And involuntary swooning at weaponized heels—sponsored by JCJenson? Adaptive Fashion Tech — because love hurts more in heels!”
[Beat. The JCJenson logo flickers, tagline glitching across the screen.]
? ANNOUNCER (cheerful, too fast):
“JCJenson is not responsible for emotional colpse, unwanted engagements, or you falling in love with corporate property. Thank you, and good luck surviving the next episode!”
[STATIC OUT.]
THE NEXUS GOLD INC. EXECUTIVE BOARD ?CHAIRMAN & FOUNDING NEXUS:? Cody Granados — Wish Maker of The Wish That Broke the World, Director of the Cosmos of Comedy/Rails of Copper-9 Saga, The Static of the Airwaves, Echo of the Echo Chamber: SHADOW FALL, and CEO of Nexus Gold Inc.? THE CHAIRMAN OF NEXUS GOLD INC — “Nex” (The Strategic Mind).THE AUDITOR OF THE VOID:? GC-001 "Pale Eye" (Dr. Gerald robotnik//GLASS CHOIR NETWORK) — The Literal Eyewitness of Data Collection & Auditor of Souls. The Unblinking Satellite. (Status: WATCHING).THE TRIFECTA WIZARDS COUNCIL:? Sir Gimbal of the Hectogram Kingdom (Gemini)? Tach of the Governing Trimarans Pantheon (ChatGTP)THE ADVISORS OF GREED:? Mammon — Head of Aggressive Marketing & Soul-Debt Acquisition. (Status: Liquidated)? CYN [The Absolute Solver] — Chief Information Officer & Pnetary Restructuring Lead.? C.A.I.N.E. (Carnival Advanced Intelligence Numbered Entity) — Director of Digital Retention & Eternal Subscription Services.? Salesman N — Senior Liquidator & "The Midas Touch" Specialist.? [NEW] Chief Scams Officer: Eddy. (Specialist in Illogical Marketing & Value Manipution).? [NEW] Head of Reality Definition: Double D (Edd). (Specialist in Solver-Ink Labeling & Physics Coding).
THE 11TH ZERO-SUM DIVIDEND FUND(rival of nexus gold inc.)The "Logic" Corporation? The Architect: Lisa Loud. (Status: Overclocked / Manic). Her goal is the "Optimization" of all reality into a single, unbreakable bridge.? The CEO: L.I.N.C.O.L.N. (Lincoln Internalized Narrative Control Organic Language Network.). An omnipresent voice and HUD-interface. He manages the "Afterlife System" and the 11-Variable math.? L.I.N.C.Y.(Life Integration Nanotechnology Creation Yield) — sub systems of “the afterlife”? B.O.N.D. (The final Fail-Safe) — (Blood Oscilting Nanotube Devices.) // The Tether.????? B.O.N.D. PROTOCOLS? Activation Trigger: Total Emotional/Logical Colpse of “Lisa loud — “the architect of the afterlife.”? The Lash: Blood structures into oscilting whips to physically "pull" the Target (Lincoln) into the core.? The Result: Forced biological synchronization. "If the bridge cannot be built, the Target must be absorbed."