There was really only ohing I could do. I couldn’t turn away from the danger of Gull’s axe, or he would slice me in two. Dimension Step only let me go where I was fag. So I spent the st of my mana to go forward about six feet, and then whirled with the katana. I was no expert, but I was now fag Gull’s back, and it wasn’t that hard to make sure my swing was neck high, and my futa body lenty strong. There was an ugly ch as bde cut into bone. Double damage, I suppose.

  At the same moment, the fming wall flickered out of existence. Baradzem was actually turning away from me for some reason.

  Thunk. Baradzem dropped his staff, and his body followed a moment ter. And Gren walked out of the woods, nog another arrow. She was nearly a hundred yards away. She limped a little as she walked.

  There was nowhere for me to go, and a few of the trolls were looking at me. Two had bows pointed. But most of the trolls were now looking at Gren.

  “Hi guys,” I said, trying to sound as calm as I could. “Chief Gavabar is having an y tonight, and you’re all invited. Lots of alcohol to go around.”

  “Leave her alone, or whoever messes with her gets the arrow.” Gren yelled. She could really project. As she got closer, I noticed scratches all over her body.

  Of course she couldn’t fight them all. Aher could I. We were in a pletely losing position, except none of the trolls wao be the o die, and the leaders that would tell them to charge were dead. They slowly lowered their bows.

  Across the field, Gavabar’s motley crew were moving forward.

  “Hail the chief!” yelled one of the twenty who had been defending Baradzem moments ago.

  And thewo groups surged forward, merging into ohe trolls spit on their hands and csped them so many times that dehydration seemed possible. Meanwhile, Gren walked closer.

  “Brave bi-sexed beauty,” she called.

  “And almost a bisected one,” I retorted. “That was some amazing shooting.”

  “I had lots of time to aim the first shot,” she said. “The sed one was just lucky. I couldn’t let anything happen to your prodigious penis.” She un-he arrow, returning it to her quiver, and took the k of her belt. Casually, as if butchering an animal, she slit Baradzem’s throat.

  That was shtening! This is why you fight behind a whole army of zombies. Don’t do that again! If I had pants I would have pissed in them, except I don’t actually piss anymore. And tell your friends not to mess with the corpses, they work better if they aren’t too mangled.

  Apparently Enash had been scared silent for a while. It was almost a reason to live a life of stant danger. But no. I might have pissed my pants, too, if I’d had time to think rather tha.

  “So it worked?” Gren asked.

  “More or less,” I said. “How’s Xy? How’s the forest?”

  “Gracious green girl will be okay, but she’s pretty upset. Okay, she’s very upset. The forest — well, forests recover from things, but it’ll take a long time. Acc to Xy. I think she would have happily butchered everyone here, much mayhem, but she is too busy trying to stop the damage.”

  I nodded.

  You should loot the corpses!

  Baradzem and Gull had molden bangles ohe axe Gull had dropped had gilt and gems, too, but Gren picked that up from the ground.

  “My tribe has the, what did you call it?” Gren asked. “Whiskey?”

  “Yep. Two bottles.”

  “There will be an y tonight, then. It is a time to celebrate. They will be expeg me. I know that others think troll s are weird.” She gnced sidelong at me.

  I wondered if she was asking me if I was okay with it. I didn’t feel we were a couple, just friends, allies, and two persons who had enjoyed a good threesome. And who were still attracted to each other. But even if we were closer than that, I didn’t want to own anyone, any more than I wao be owned. “Do you want to?” I asked.

  “I should. It is an opportunity for the tribe to bond.”

  I smiled. “That isn’t what I asked.”

  “I’ll be taking maidenfriend. I won’t get pregnant.”

  I had to admit that relieved me a bit. “Okay,” I said.

  Gren frowned. “It won’t be as much fun as fug green girl and damsel with dick.”

  “That’s not what I asked either.”

  “You could join, and that would make it more fun. I’m sure you’d be wele.”

  “It would make it more plicated, too,” I said. I wasn’t adverse to an y with troll women, if they looked remotely like Gren. I wasn’t adverse to having sex with troll womeo troll men having sex with troll women. At the same time, I preferred e ties, and my ambiguous gender might lead to all sorts of misuandings in the middle of a bunch of drunk trolls. Not objeg to casual sex and an y was different from preferring it to intimad e. “No thank you.”

  “Darn, I was looking forward to watg you get fucked. As well as having you put your colossal co me again.”

  y! y! y!

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “I should go,” Gren said.

  “You still didn’t answer my question.”

  Greated. “Yes, I want to, and no, I don’t want you to think less of me.”

  I nodded and pulled two more bottles of whiskey from my bag. “With my blessings,” I said, handing them to her. “Tell your father we’ll work out a deal for a steady supply and enjoy yourself. Join your people, and don’t tell anyone where my home is, please.”

  She nodded, pressing a fio her lips. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  “Thank you.”

  She walked over to the others, and I watched her go. I wao find Xy, ah her. I also wanted, at some point, to get home, although I was starting to wonder what that meant. Home didn’t always just mean the pce you owned and slept in.

  “Hey everyone,” Gren yelled. “I have tales to tell! Ferocious females, daring deeds, and enormous eres!”

  Well, I thought, at least one of my secrets was safe. I backed away, and then realized that no, I had a mess to up ba the vilge. So I walked a ways behind Gren.

  “You joining us for the y?” Someone yelled.

  I shook my head, waving in what I hoped was a friendly fashion, and headed for the vilge. Everyone else headed that way, too. Gren had an audience for her tale. I’d have to teach her the word futa. I was sure she could find some f-word to alliterate with it.

  “Abby. A word. Don’t make an old man hurry.”

  I turned. It was Gavabar.

  I waited for him. “I left some zombies in your vilge,” I said in a low voice. “In your home, actually. And Varek’s corpse. I thought I should take care of that.”

  “Yes. I suppose you should. I — well, your evil was useful. And Greo like you. You had her drink your whiskey, I assume?”

  I shook my head. “No,” I said.

  Gavabar stroked his double . “Hmm. Not unheard of, I suppose. Just rare. Is it true the rest of what she says? About your —”

  I shrugged. “She might exaggerate,” I said. “But I don’t think she ht lies about things.”

  Gavabar ughed. “She has always been an enhancer of epics. But we o talk about the whiskey.”

  “I have more. I get you more. We’ll work out something in exge, ter. And I’ll look into your wood problems, too. And your sanitation issues.”

  “Sanitation issues?” Gavabar said.

  “The odor of your vilge,” I replied.

  “Women always pin, but it’s fine,” Gavabar said.

  I didn’t reply to that. “Let me run ahead and take care of things before you get there.”

  He frowned. “Okay, Abby. But we must thank you properly at some point. And please don’t send zombies against us.”

  “Wasn’t pnning on it,” I said, and quied my pace. Gavabar was weak and tired, and it wasn’t hard to out walk him. The other trolls seemed to want him to be in the front, and slowed down enough to make it happen.

  I got to the hut and the two zombies were there waiting for me. And of course, Varek’s body.

  I checked my system dispy.

  Abby Thorson

  Species: Demonic Futanari / Human

  Css: Neancer / Seductress

  Level: 1

  Strength: 10

  Dexterity: 8

  Intelligence:8

  Wisdom: 7

  Charisma 11

  Health: 20/20

  Mana: 24/81

  Endurance: 14/30

  Experience for Level: 27

  Innate Demonic Ability: Dimension Step

  Innate Seductress Abilities: Back Stab (Seductress version), Special Attra

  Spells: Life Drai Magiimate Lesser Undead, Charm Person

  I thought about what I’d done, and thought I should have earned 170 more experience points at most, for the killing and the animating. I expected to be more than halfway there, but 27 points shy?

  Almost there buddy! Pretty soon you’ll just be mostly inpetent.

  “I don’t see you doing anything. What did I get all those points for?”

  I know but I’m not telling you.

  So not for anything Enash wanted me to do, I supposed. I shrugged. I turo the zombies. “Pick up the body and follow me.”

  I walked straight south out of town, even though it resulted in me walking through more annoying prairie grass aing more bug bites. It also meant that the returning celebration didn’t have to enter a bunch of undead just before the y. I didn’t know about the trolls, but for me personally that would be a buzz-kill.

  Even if I had been in the mood fiant troll y, Varek’s body reminded me of all the death I’d caused. I didn’t regret it, but I waime to process it.

  “System Dispy, turn experieifications ba.”

  Experieifications turned on.

  “ you tell me what I got experience for today?”

  Nothing.

  I walked back toward the forest, stopping now and then to drain the life from a little prairie grass. It was enough to heal the bug bites, at least. The zombies didn’t seem to care about the bugs. Or anything, really, but they were slorobably even slower from carrying something.

  Well, I should have enough mana by now.

  I pulled out the wand. “Animate Lesser Undead,” I said, toug Varek’s corpse with the tip.

  For animating the body of an enemy, you earned 10 experience points, and need 17 to bee a sed level Seductress/Neancer.

  I instructed the zombies to let the new guy walk, and had they formed a little train behind me. Not, thank goodness, the kind of train that Gren might end up pulling.

  I hoped she had a good time.

  The trolls left two bodies behind.

  “Yeah, I khat.” I walked along the tree line, back toward the battlefield, surveying the damage from the fire with sadness, but I didn’t see any active bzes.

  I was afraid you were too eager to get back to banging the dryad. Nothier to keep her mind off her troubles than a good pounding, and you’re probably pretty pumped from all that killing. It’s exhirating, isn’t it?

  It was not. But I saw a lever there, and I was going to use it. “I was thinking that I’d take her back to Earth and we’d have a little fun there. You know, where we have a little privacy.”

  You wouldn’t.

  “Oh, that’s the way it’s going to be from now on unless you do that cooperating you’ve been talking about. No seeing the hot futa body you made in a.”

  How have I not cooperated?

  “Well, for starters, remember not telling me about how I got all the experience points?”

  Alright, if I tell you, will you shag her where I watch?

  Apparently the Earth media he’d seen included Austin Powers. “If she’s in the mood,” I said.

  You and your ethics. Fine. You got the experience when you solved the problem with the trolls and brought peace to the vilge. It really just repces all the mana you could get from lots of killing.

  “Wait, how does that fit in with being a neancer? Or a seductress, for that matter?”

  Probably because if you hadn’t vamped the stru crew, it wouldn’t have happened. “Using their sexuality to gain advantage in other spheres,” I believe was the w.

  I chuckled. “See, I don’t have to kill things to get ahead.”

  That’s the clusion I was afraid you’d e to. But killing is really the easiest, and the best way. And it makes you feel like you’ve made a difference.

  I whistled, feeling a lightness in my soul at the thought that the Seductress css, whiash had chosen against my will, actually meant I could advahout blood. I’d always been able to whistle, but it sounded different as Abby.

  That’s really catchy.

  I realized I was whistling, “Downtown.”

  The bodies of Baradzem and Gull still y where they had fallen, although a few birds were peg away at them and their bodies had been stripped. The birds quickly flew away as I approached with the zombies behind me.

  “Hey, Enash,” I said. “ you let me know when important things happen? Like when my mana is low, et some new ued source of experiehat way I won’t have to monitor it all the time, and I know you access my system dispy.”

  I’ll think about it. Depends on how much you cooperate. I have other things to do than monitor the system dispy, you know.

  “Like what?”

  He didn’t answer. Well, silence was golden, too. I ordered the zombies to pick up the bodies and headed south to look for Xy. It would be dark when I got home, even assuming I took the most direct path with only my pass to guide me.

  TheAmaraine