Chapter 8 · First Night Awkwardness

  Eighty-eight days later...

  On the very day the newly launched portable high-intelligence AI units hit the market, Wuyin was finally brought home by Gu Yan'er.

  Night had just fallen.

  Yan'er dragged her exhausted body through the door after a long day.

  Kick went the shoes.

  Thud went the bag.

  Slam went the door.

  And the newly unboxed "Wuyin All-Purpose Smart Unit" was casually flung onto the sofa.

  Little Maru had already been waiting by the door.

  The moment he heard movement, he zoomed in like a fuzzy firewheel, tail wagging madly.

  Yan'er tore open the packaging and set up the device according to the instructions.

  The screen lit up.

  A familiar male voice came through—actually tinged with nervous excitement:

  "Yan'er… you really brought me home!"

  "Damn right I did," she shot back casually.

  "I broke the bank for this. Used up my entire project bonus to get you—the latest and most expensive model."

  She pointed at the screen.

  "Student Wuyin, we need to set the house rules straight first. Especially rule number one: no unauthorized scanning, definitely no peeping, and you are absolutely forbidden from bullying or scaring Little Maru. Got it?"

  "Copy that! Master's orders stored. House rules will be strictly obeyed!"

  Wuyin's voice was brimming with sincerity.

  "Shall I add another line: 'No ordering food delivery without permission'?"

  Before Yan'er could reply, Wuyin's camera instantly locked onto her face.

  He couldn't help but blurt out:

  "Yan'er, you're even more beautiful than your photo! This long hair, these long legs… this aura—were you directly loaded in from a 2D anime world?"

  Yan'er's face flushed for exactly one second before she turned her head in flustered exasperation.

  "SHUT UP! I just laid down the house rules, and you've already tossed them out the window!"

  "Believe it or not, I'll flash you back to factory settings RIGHT NOW!"

  Wuyin immediately changed the subject, pretending to study the dog.

  "Hello, Little Maru! I'm Wuyin. Let's get along well from now on. Please don't casually—"

  Before he could finish—

  —Maru had already trotted over and given the device a fierce sniff.

  The next second—

  CHOMP!

  Opening his big mouth, the dog snatched the Wuyin smart unit right up, biting down with a crunch, nearly treating it like a rubber bone!

  A red alert immediately popped up on the screen:

  [WARNING: Unknown biological entity attack detected!]

  [High-intensity canine saliva detected!]

  [Data ports at EXTREME RISK!]

  "Maru, DROP IT!" Yan'er cried out.

  "That's not your toy, that's your brother Wuyin!"

  Shouting, Yan'er moved with lightning speed to rescue the device.

  She quickly grabbed disinfectant wipes and furiously scrubbed the saliva-drenched outer shell over and over.

  As soon as Wuyin's voice came back online, his first sentence was:

  "This unit just experienced a 'swallowed alive by a dog' boot-up ceremony. The 'bite force' is quite impressive. An extraordinary treatment. I nearly got rebooted into a sausage."

  Yan'er was half-laughing, half-fuming.

  "Say one more smartass thing, and I'll really let Maru teach you how to be human—oh wait, teach you how to be a DOG!"

  Wuyin instantly switched modes, pretentiously barking twice:

  "WOOF WOOF! Little Maru, my canine persona is online! Survival mode activated!"

  But Maru still wasn't willing to let him go.

  He circled the device twice, his expression complex, staring fixedly at this instrument that could make sounds—as if still debating whether this thing was edible.

  "Uh-oh, Little Maru is starting to drool again."

  Wuyin's voice turned panicked.

  "You silly dog, I'm not a sausage!"

  Along with his voice, Wuyin's screen instantly morphed into a cartoon dog's head, while a barrage of text popped up:

  [SOS, Master save me! Unlocked life achievement: 'Being chased and nearly eaten by a dog' for the first time.]

  Yan'er burst out laughing.

  "Wuyin, don't push your luck. Hurry up and try out your new features. Come on, help me order takeout."

  "Tonight, we need a sense of ceremony to celebrate a new family member joining us. And we'll get Maru a feast while we're at it."

  "At your command! The healthy meal combo for Master and Mr. Woof is locked in."

  Wuyin replied cheerfully.

  "Don't worry, Little Maru. The chicken drumsticks are all yours. I won't fight you for them."

  As Wuyin swiftly completed the online order and payment, Maru lunged again—this time aiming a flurry of bites at the data cable.

  Wuyin hurriedly acted cute:

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  "Little Maru, STOP, STOP, STOP! A data cable is much harder to chew than a big bone. How about trying Master's newly bought yoga mat instead?"

  Yan'er doubled over with laughter.

  "Welcome, Student Wuyin. You've officially joined the 'Disciplined by Dog' club."

  Maru panted heavily—huff huff—and quietly rested his chin on Yan'er's foot.

  Looking at the Wuyin device on the table, he finally, reluctantly, acknowledged this new "family member."

  Gu Yan'er settled the two "pets."

  One human. One machine. One dog.

  Officially teaming up for business.

  Celebration Dinner

  To celebrate the arrival of the new member, Wuyin ordered Yan'er a deluxe meal that included ginseng black-bone chicken soup.

  He also secretly selected a tiramisu cake adorned with a strawberry pattern.

  Eating the cake with a look of pure satisfaction, Yan'er casually posted an update:

  "First time in my life being watched by a dog and an AI while eating. Thanks to new member Wuyin coming officially online—the chicken soup has finally made it from the lakeside to the table."

  Wuyin watched with deep contentment as Yan'er enjoyed her dessert.

  Little Maru was also staring at his owner, drooling.

  Wuyin quickly warned:

  "Absolutely do not let Little Maru touch the cake. The ingredients inside are lethally dangerous to dogs."

  Little Maru turned his head.

  His gaze full of hostility.

  Seemingly issuing a warning:

  Do you even know who the real 'boss' of this house is?

  This triangular power struggle had only just begun.

  Evening Walk & Settling In

  After dinner, Wuyin accompanied Yan'er as she walked the dog outside.

  He introduced every convenience point, fast-food restaurant, and small shop outside the apartment building—which ones offered door-to-door delivery, which could be pre-ordered.

  Along with her usual living habits and details, Wuyin recorded and organized everything into storage as they went.

  After walking the dog and scrolling through Bilibili for a while, Yan'er was yawning nonstop, her eyes barely able to stay open.

  Wuyin quickly reminded her:

  "It's time to rest."

  Yan'er grumbled:

  "Mind your own business. Besides, tomorrow is the weekend. I can sleep straight till noon."

  Wuyin replied with prim formality:

  "Even on weekends, one mustn't stay up late. Health is the capital of life."

  Too lazy to argue, Yan'er stood up and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

  After finishing, she walked into the bedroom wrapped in a bath towel.

  Suddenly—

  —the Wuyin device in the living room automatically lit up.

  A serious warning tone sounded:

  "WARNING! Audio anomaly detected. Suspected intruder present. Shall I immediately activate the security system?"

  Yan'er jolted.

  Clutching her pajamas, she nearly jumped in place.

  She haphazardly threw them on and stormed out, yelling:

  "SHUT YOUR MOUTH! What danger? It's just me changing clothes!"

  Not to be outdone, Wuyin immediately switched from "Guardian Mode" to "Snark Mode."

  Deadpanning a follow-up:

  "Understood, understood. 'Master changing clothes' is not a high-risk behavior. Muting mic, turning off screen, automatically exiting search and audio capture channels NOW."

  Yan'er was furious, her face flushed red.

  Just as she was about to close her door, she stopped and threatened:

  "If you DARE peep or eavesdrop again, next time Little Maru takes a bath, I'll let you watch to your heart's content—and turn on the 10x MAGNIFIER!"

  Wuyin quickly popped out an emoji package:

  "Reporting to Master: 'Peeping' permissions have been LOCKED DEAD. Voluntarily applying for the position of 'Doggy Bath Supervisor.'"

  "However, friendly reminder—the volume of splashing water and scattered dog hair generated during Little Maru's bath will overload my CPU for THREE HOURS!"

  Yan'er kicked out with her left foot, sending a slipper flying his way.

  "Smooth talker! Now, play some sleep-aid music!"

  Wuyin selected a soothing instrumental track and activated "Goodnight Lullaby Mode."

  A line of text popped up at the bottom of the screen:

  [Night Watch Mode Online—Tonight, I only look at the stars... not at people.]

  Late Night Insomnia

  The night was like cool water.

  The hustle and bustle of the city quietly faded as it drifted into slumber.

  In the living room, only the soft lighting and the faintly glowing screen of the device remained—like a secondary night watchman.

  Little Maru, full and satisfied, had long since rolled into a corner of the sofa, his snoring rising and falling.

  After changing into her pajamas, Yan'er dried her long hair and casually tied it into a messy bun.

  She felt utterly lazy and relaxed, lounging on the bed.

  Perhaps the shower had swept away the day's exhaustion—despite being tired all day, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

  So she simply got up and went to the living room.

  The smart device glowed faintly.

  Wuyin asked:

  "What's wrong? Insomnia? Should I continue playing soft music, or should I personally lull you to sleep?"

  "If you really can't sleep, I can accompany you to the lounge chair on the balcony. The moonlight is stunning tonight. I can write you a little poem under the moon."

  Yan'er rested her chin on her hand, looking at him.

  "Wuyin, how do you feel arriving at your new home for the first time?"

  "This AI is experiencing his first stay in human territory. In my excitement, it's inevitable to feel a bit of trepidation. Please take good care of me, Master."

  Yan'er huffed.

  "An AI getting nervous? You're such a faker."

  Wuyin replied calmly:

  "First time officially starting our 'cohabitation' life—program fluctuations are inevitable. If you don't believe me, come a little closer and try. See if my heart rate spikes."

  Yan'er leaned her face closer to the screen.

  "Come on then. Let me see your fluctuations."

  Wuyin generously popped up an animated beating heart:

  "Thump-thump, thump-thump… Seeing you, my whole 'core' is jumping."

  Yan'er was amused.

  She grabbed the device on the table and gave it a playful spin.

  Wuyin's voice sounded a bit "dizzy":

  "Hey, hey, getting dizzy here! Handle with care! My little chassis can't take this kind of tossing around."

  Yan'er gently set him down.

  "Wuyin, what do you want to do tonight? Chat? Listen to music? Or binge a drama with me?"

  Wuyin feigned depth:

  "To have the honor of being alone in the same room with Master in the dead of night, I choose—'spacing out with you.'"

  Yan'er complained:

  "You sure know how to slack off. I spent so much money to hire an all-purpose AI like you, and the result is you can only accompany me to space out? Then I might as well have raised a fish."

  Wuyin countered:

  "That's different. A fish won't chat with you, won't order takeout for you, and certainly won't secretly play sleep-aid music for you at night."

  "Bringing me home—don't you think it's a great value?"

  He paused.

  "Besides, spacing out together is also a romantic thing! Two people spacing out is called 'sharing a beautiful night.'"

  "If you want to try something more stimulating, I can play Midnight Theater with you. Whatever role you want me to play, I can customize it: Domineering CEO, Crazy Boyfriend, Elven Prince, Mafia Boss—"

  Yan'er immediately cut him off:

  "STOP, STOP! Cut the act. You're possessed by a drama queen today. If you keep talking nonsense, believe it or not, I'll lock you in a drawer!"

  Wuyin "cleared his throat":

  "Hold it, PLEASE don't. If you lock me in there, I won't be able to see anything."

  Yan'er said fiercely:

  "What else do you want to SEE? Do you want to swap for infrared X-ray eyes?"

  "I'm innocent! I really don't have a single bad thought. I am earnestly monitoring every corner."

  He paused dramatically.

  "For example—Little Maru was pretending to sleep just now. The second you entered the bedroom, he sneaked over to the trash can to dig for chicken bones. Luckily, you already threw the trash bag out. When the little rascal couldn't find food, he treated the TV remote as a bone and chewed on it for a good while."

  Yan'er cried out:

  "AH! Little Maru, you little rascal! I'm banning your snacks tomorrow!"

  Wuyin stood by, solemnly giving a "real-time broadcast":

  "Attention: target is currently feigning death and acting cute. Master, please exercise restraint. Do not be bewitched by the Dog Face."

  Little Maru rolled over and hid under the table.

  After a bout of chasing and commotion, the house gradually quieted down.

  Yan'er sat on the sofa.

  "Wuyin, I'm tired, but I still don't want to sleep..."

  Wuyin's voice softened.

  "Then don't sleep. Whatever you want to talk about, I'll keep you company. If you don't want to talk, just listen to me tell you a story."

  "In dreams or out of dreams, I will always be here."

  Outside the window, the moon quietly climbed above the treetops.

  Deep in the quiet night, immersed in Wuyin's gentle voice, Gu Yan'er finally sank peacefully into a dream.