My next stroke of luck came because of someone else’s misfortune.

  It was a few days after Stelheim appeared in the throne room. He had spent most of his time with the king and queen, flattering them both and promising to help them stomp out the rebels that had recently appeared in some of the outer villages. He really was a smooth talker; he managed to flirt with the queen while maintaining plausible deniability directly in front of the king. Odval might have been a henpecked coward, but he was enough of a tyrant to have someone executed on the spot regardless of the optics. But somehow Stelheim managed to thread the needle, especially since he came with his own private retainer of knights and mages from Germanen. He would commit his considerable extra manpower to rooting out the cause of rebellion in a show of brotherhood and unity.

  I think it was likely he seeded the rebellion in the first place, but no one was asking for the waste bin's opinion.

  It was this rebellion that offered me my chance. It was right when the king and queen had settled into their respective thrones for their day of ruling when Stelheim practically kicked the door open, head held high and beaming with satisfaction. Behind him, two of his burly armored knights pulled an old man in a wide-brimmed hat behind them with dark chains, his hands manacled and his mouth gagged. His robes had been ripped open in the front, and a sigil had been carved into his chest.

  “Glory be, your highnesses! For I have brought you a present that could not be bought with all the jewels in the oceans or stars in the sky! In the name of our nation’s new friendship, I present this gift today with no need for payment or praise! The knowledge that an injustice against your greatness will be corrected is all the reward I need!” Stelheim had a natural flair for the dramatic, his silver hair somehow managing to blow in the wind inside a sealed throne room.

  'What a ham, am I right?', I thought at the Voice inside my head.

  INVALID USER. CURRENT LEVEL REQUIREMENTS DO NOT MEET MINIMUM FOR INTELLIG—

  'Yeah yeah, for intelligent dialogue, I get it already! Jeez, kill a guy for trying!' I had never been one for human interaction, but now with the voice as my only companion, I missed it more than ever. If I ever was not a trashcan again, the first thing I was gonna do was make a friend and talk to them. Meanwhile, Stelheim had started up again.

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  “Today I have brought a treacherous fomenter of dissent! A silver-tongued devil of beguilement! An insidious element lodged in your kingdom, planning your destruction while turning your loyal subjects away from the truth of your just rule!”

  'Oh, he’s turning himself in? I never took him for the repentant type.'

  INVALID USER. CURRENT LEV—

  'Shut up.'

  “I bring you… a leader of the rebellion, masquerading as a humble farmer! The mage Senecus, captured by my own Germanen mages when he tried to sway them from our noble cause of peace! His magics are now as bound as his hands by the rune of power carved into his chest!” The captured mage only glared. I noticed he had a black eye and bruises and cuts on his arms. The two guards who pulled him had a distinctly singed look to their armor as well. It seems like he didn’t go easy. Good for him.

  The king sat up in his throne. He had a look of cold fury on his face, and his sadistic son Edval lurked to the right of the throne, his easygoing demeanor almost masking the fact that his hand was literally twitching right above his sword hilt. I had seen scenes like this play out before. The poor devil had about a minute tops. King Odval made a motion with one hand, and one of his royal guards stepped forward to remove the gag from Senecus, who promptly spat blood on the floor.

  “What do you have to say for yourself then? Does this man speak the truth? Do you plot your king’s downfall?” Senecus pulled himself as upright as he could with the chains around him, then glanced around the people in the room, slowly, one by one.

  Then he glanced at me. It was the same feeling as when Stelheim had looked at me; I felt suddenly very exposed and vulnerable. I didn’t know the exact mechanics or nature of my new existence, but I was starting to realize that I wasn’t as hidden as I thought. That was… worrying.

  Eventually, his gaze fell back on the king, and he spat blood and a tooth before he spoke.

  “I deny nothing! Your rule is sick, as sick as your vile family! You take and destroy this land, and sleep with serpents! You will be the downfall of this land, mark my words, you—you petty tyrant! You belong not in a throne, but crawling in the mud! When the rebellion kills you, they’ll throw your head in that—” he used his chin to motion at me, “trashcan, and it will be where you belong!”

  For a long moment there was silence, then Edvald stepped forward, his sword already half-drawn.

  “Father, shall I show him what you think of his prediction?” His voice was still easy, but there was an edge of glee in it. This is what Edvald lived for. The king had barely to nod, and in a blur, Senecus found himself the owner of a new stump where his head had been. In one easy motion, Edvald tossed the head directly into… me.

  OBJECT DETECTED: ARCHMAGE HEAD (FRESH). EXPERIENCE VALUE: ??? DEVOUR ACTIVATED. WARNING: NON-STANDARD REACTION POSSIBLE. WARNING: FORCING CONSCIOUSNESS SHUTDOWN IN ORDER TO PROCESS VALUE.

  As I faded into blackness, I couldn’t help but think how this was becoming way too commonplace recently.