“How am I going to get Nikki to like me if I’m too mean?” Kalei said. “Did I just say that out loud? Ugh, I’m too mean and I’m an idiot.”

  “It’s fine, you told us both, remember?” Oka asked.

  “I mean, what if someone else nearby is listening and tells her?” Kalei asked.

  “I don’t think anyone’s looking,” I said. “The person at a table is Elisa, and she’s got her phoablet and a ptop out, she’s in Osiris mode hardcore.”

  Elisa looked up from her ptop to give us all some absurdly rude and vulgar remarks that were so cartoonishly awful airely reted to our ck of knowledge about Osiris that we all didn't even really register them before she put her headphones ba a back to intensely watg everything Osiris reted she could find.

  "At least you don't say things like that," Oka said.

  “I ’t stop blurting things out, though!” Kalei said. “Blurting mean things out. It’s just a matter of time before I screw it all up in front of her.”

  “I assume you hold it in around her…right?” I asked.

  “I mean, I guess,” Kalei said. “Oh man, I hope she wasn’t hat theater room when Maia blew up at me…”

  Oka and I gave ed looks to each other. We’d never seen Kalei like this. Even at times someone had called out her meanness in css before, she was usually able to brush it off with a snide remark or a joke to deflect from herself.

  “Why am I so mean?” She asked, maybe more to herself than to us.

  “You were just in ara bad mood today,” Oka said. “Everyone has days where they’re in bad moods.”

  “Have I? Aren’t I just always like this?” Kalei said. “What do I do? How do I not do this?”

  Kalei lifted her head up.

  “Am I a Teylet?” Kalei asked. “Oka, when you said there was someone in the school that reminded you of Teylet, am I who you were thinking of?”

  Oka coughed and looked away. “Noooo, I don’t think so...”

  “Gee, thanks for the strong support.” Kalei said.

  “I mean you would have to go pretty far to be as unlikeable as Teylet.” I said. “Like, you haven’t murdered anyone, or been an instigator of a love tetrahedron while simultaneously cheating on like, all of them in a separate love tetrahedron.”

  “Seriously,” Oka said. “I’m still reeling from that st episode we watched. There’s nothing you’ve ever said to me that’s remotely o levels, and I’m not even that far in the show.”

  “If you’d just hurry up and finish all the episodes, then I wouldn’t have to dance around spoilers.” Kalei said.

  “I think that right there is what Maia didn’t like,” I said. “Those quiappy ebacks you always have. Also, don’t talk to my girlfriend that lease?”

  “Aw,” Oka said. “And yeah Kalei, same goes for talking to my girlfriend that way too.”

  “You guys are gonna be insufferable with this, aren’t you?” Kalei said. “I deserve it, though. Seriously, what do I do?”

  “You do have a lot of snappy one liners and quiebacks,” Oka said. “That does seem to be the root of your issues here. So maybe we train you to not do those?”

  “And how would you do that?” Kalei asked.

  “We could try insulting her back all day,” I said.

  “She’s too quick,” Oka said. “She’d either snap bad be really mean and make us cry or take it way too personally and shut dowe the stuff she dishes out.”

  “Hm, good point,” I said.

  Oka snapped her fingers. “I have an idea!”

  * * *

  I stood o Laenie. Oka and Aira were oher side of us, with Kalei in the middle. Oka had a kickball and a stopwat her hands. We were on the school grounds in one of the more open spaces of grass that didn’t have piic tables azebos in it.

  “Alright Kalei, here’s the pn,” Oka said. “We’re just gonna py a game of throw the ball around, and yoing to have to get through a full five-minute game without being mean while also being the one in the middle.”

  “I don’t think ‘throw the ball’ is even a real game,” Kalei said.

  “Resetting the timer,” Oka said, clig the stopwatch. “That was a bit rude.”

  “What? You didn’t even say we started!” Kalei said.

  “Resetting the timer,” Oka said. “That was also a bit rude.”

  “I don’t think it was, but whatever,” Kalei said.

  Oka tossed the ball over Kalei to our side, and I biffed it. I watched helplessly as it bouo the ground away from us. The others turo Kalei, waiting to see if she’d say something.

  “You’re all making this a lot harder by looking at me,” Kalei said.

  “How about as we py, you just try having a versation with Laenie aa without making them cry?” Oka suggested.

  “ we not t them tearing up?” Kalei asked.

  “I’m going to say…no.” Oka said. “Do you have that much material from them just standing there?”

  “…maybe,” Kalei said, watg as I picked up the ball. “I mean, you put both of the easy criers on the easy crier side.”

  “This isn’t the easy g side!” I said, holding back tears. “We don’t cry that easily!”

  “Zeta, like seriously it’s hard enough trying not to goof on you when you’re not talking, don’t make this worse.” Kalei said.

  “I think that ts as something mean,” I said, feeling even more ready to cry but not wanting to give Kalei the satisfa. “Oka, does that t?”

  “Sorry Kalei, gotta side with the girlfriend,” Oka said. “Resetting the timer.”

  I did my trademark tactical y eyelids to stop the tears, then got ready to throw the ball to Aira. Kalei grabbed it in midair from me pretty much right as I tossed it.

  “I get to switch out then from that incredibly easy catch, right?” Kalei said. “That’s how this game works, isn’t it?”

  “Resetting the timer,” Oka said.

  “What for?” Kalei said.

  “That retty mean to Zeta’s pying abilities.” Oka said.

  “Oh, e on!”

  “What’s the lo she’s made it so far?” Aira asked.

  Oka looked at the stopwatch. “Seventeen seds.”

  “Maybe I should just stop talking altogether then,” Kalei said. “Because I’m so bad at talking apparently!”

  “Don’t pout,” Oka said. “We’re trying to help you. Are you really that uo say something oday? To even try?”

  “I dunno, maybe,” Kalei shrugged as she tinued pouting. “This isn’t w.”

  “She’s n,” I said. “What else we try?”

  “Maybe just like for the rest of the week, try not saying anything mean.” Oka suggested. “No game or anything.”

  “I ’t do a whole week.” Kalei said, absentmindedly boung the ball.

  “Or even just…the rest of today?” Oka said.

  “Hm…maybe.” Kalei said. “I dunno, this whole thing is stupid, I’m out.”

  Kalei chucked the ball across the grounds and stormed off. It bounced off a gazebo and nded on Kyre Krista’s overtly hair gelled hair, making a gross spt sound before hitting the ground.

  “Well, that went about as well as I expected.” I said.

  “That weer for me, I was expeg to cry!” Laenie said. “She didn’t even pay attention to me. She didn’t even…pay attention to me…”

  Laenie sniffed.

  “Hoo boy,” Oka said as Aira ran to Laenie, who was already sobbing.

  “It’s gonna be a while,” Aira said as she soled her friend.

  “Well, I guess it’s up to us for the attempt,” I said. “Got any other ideas for this?”

  Oka rubbed her . “Got it.”

  In addition to gazebos and piic tables, there was also a really fancy area with high quality metal tables and chairs and a garden of bushes around it. Oka led me to Lillia ce, who sat at one of the tables by herself drinking tea and reading. She looked like some kind of legendary aristocrat that only stepped foot outside to have tea at a garden spot like this. I pictured myself taking Oka on a date there, then realized I could now take Oka on dates instead of just daydreaming about them. It was something I had to remind myself a lot.