Tempokai

  No Nut November. The phrase had been coined by a some dudes on Internet spread worldwide. It was the month that one vowed to not masturbate at all, and in doing so prove once again that they were worthy of being called men.

  It was an arduous task; it would take serious dedication and self control.

  But men are simple creatures, and the idea of proving their worthiness appealed to them greatly.

  They all wanted to be strong, but more than that they wanted to prove how big of a man they really were.

  Some just did it for fun or as a way to save money. They drinked the medicine that changed their gender, and then turned into women. Some even got breast impnts, but most didn't want to spend too much money on it. They could just grow breasts without spending any cash.

  The first week of No Nut November went off without a hitch. It seemed like everyone was doing great at keeping their hands away from their dicks. However the second week hit, and suddenly things started going downhill.

  First off, there was a group of guys who decided to unleash tentacle monster upon the world. Then another group of men had sex with each other, but only because they were trying to lose weight by having sex and gaining calories. That worked out well until one of them ended up getting pregnant. They were both men and they weren't dating, but the guy that got impregnated wasn't sure if he wanted to go through with an abortion.

  Another group of guys decided to try something different this year. They took turns jerking off for each other. Saying "No Homo, Bruh" didn't seem to make much sense anymore since being gay was now socially acceptable.

  And finally, there was a group of guys who were so desperate to keep their hands away from their cock that they turned themselves into girls.

  The whole month turned into a disaster, and many people lost faith in humanity.

  Well, at least everyone was having fun, right?

  Well, not my friends. They're freaks!

  My friends are weirdos. I mean, we are all weird, but they're super weird.

  I've known them for years, and I never knew they had these perverted mindsets until recently.

  That's what sucks about being friends with someone for a long time. You think you know everything about them, but then when you see them in a new light, it's shocking to say the least. They eat nuts till their stomachs explode.

  They have sex with their female friends.

  They eat fruit until their insides rot.

  They jerk off to porn when they're alone.

  They wear girls underwear.

  And it happened in four days. Four days!

  I'm still shocked myself.

  One day they were normal, then the next morning they woke up and became freaks.

  I don't know why I thought it was funny. I guess I just didn't care, because I knew that none of this could possibly happen. Maybe when they drinked potion, they transformed into freaks, and now they can't turn back.

  But that doesn't expin why they keep eating fruits.

  I know they do it because they're hungry, but still...

  I've seen horrors the human mind can't possibly grasp. I've witnessed the undead rise up against me. And I've faced horrors from beyond the heavens.

  Yet, seeing my friend eat nuts until his belly reached the ground is the most horrifying thing I ever saw.

  "Oh God!"

  He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes, his tongue outstretched, and his body shaking.

  I felt bad for him, but I couldn't help ughing at the sight of him.

  He said nothing, and continued to chow down on the nuts. He was practicing nonstop nut November, and he was determined to finish the month off.

  "Damn," I muttered to myself.

  "Oh no."

  He was staring at me with a look of terror in his eyes.

  I knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth.

  "Are you going to tell anyone about this?"

  I ughed.

  "Hell no."

  "Good," he said. "Because I'd kill you, and I don't pn on dying anytime soon."

  "Don't choke on those nuts."

  "I won't. I promise. But I'll remember to watch out for people that might. So I hope you keep your mouth shut."

  "Yes sir. I understand and I will. Drink the digesting potion. Eat the nuts. Make love with your sister. Jerk off and cum in your pants. Do whatever you need to do. Just don't tell anyone, okay? This is between us."

  He gave me a thumbs-up and went back to eating. Fucking hell!

  After a while, I sat down next to him and began watching TV. We didn't talk much after that, but I think we're still friends.

  ***

  The dreadful month of No Nut November still continues. Fifth day, and people are still fighting with each other and trying to get their hands on the nut of mass destruction.

  It was fucking real. Nut of mass destruction. A terrific blob in shape of nut capable of causing explosions.

  People were fighting over it. People were trying to steal it. And people were masturbating to it.

  This is crazy.

  Crazy as fuck.

  I mean, I'm pretty sure that's why they call it the nut of mass destruction. They're saying that if you touch it, it's going to destroy the world.

  And apparently, the st guy who touched it exploded.

  Did he die? Well, the police said that he died and was sent to heaven. The heavens sended him back to earth, where he got caught in a bomb bst.

  What the hell?

  Why would someone send a man to heaven if he explodes in heaven? That's messed up!

  At least the nut of mass destruction made people stop fighting and start masturbating to it. A mistake humanity made once again.

  But this time, the nut of mass destruction brought hope back into the world. Hope for a better tomorrow.

  And the best part about it is that people are starting to enjoy themselves. In the month of November, people normally wouldn't give a shit about anything.

  But now, people are ughing and pying and enjoying life. It's like they've forgotten about the tragedies happening around them.

  It's like a miracle.

  ***

  Sixth day of No Nut November.

  Today is a good day. Today, the nut of mass destruction has been found.

  They say that they found it at the bottom of the ocean. I know how that sounds, but they really did find it there. The SCP Foundation helped the United States Navy with the retrieval of the nut.

  The USN is currently using a giant robotic arm to recover the nut. They can't use any underwater vehicles because of all the dangerous creatures that lurk beneath the sea.

  Well, that's good news. Better than finding the nut of mass destruction inside a person's asshole.

  I still can't believe that people do that shit. Like seriously, who the fuck does that?

  That's just gross. And I don't want to hear any excuses.

  ***

  At evening, my other friend came over to see me. He was a nice guy, so he wasn't weird or anything. But then again, I have no idea what's considered normal in this fucked up world.

  We were talking about stuff, as usual, when one of us said something funny.

  "Remember the gender changing potion? You know, the one that makes someone female or male for a certain period of time?"

  I nodded. "Yeah."

  "Well, I was thinking..."

  My friend spoke so softly that I could barely hear him.

  "I want to try it."

  "You want to change your sex?"

  "No, not like that."

  "Then what?"

  He sighed. "Just listen."

  I waited patiently for him to continue, but he didn't say anything.

  "What if...we fill the rain inducing rockets with gender changing potion? If it works, we'll be able to make people go from male to female or vice versa."

  I smiled. "I like it."

  "Me too. Do you think it's possible?"

  Give me 1 million, and I'll try.

  ***

  Seventh day of No Nut November.

  Today is a great day. There's only one problem: I haven't had my nut yet.

  The day started out like any other day. People were fighting, people were masturbating, people were doing everything except getting their hands on the nut of mass destruction.

  I was fiddling with the rocket uncher, when I heard a loud boom outside.

  I ran to the window, and sure enough, the sky was filled with smoke and fire. I tried calling the police, but the line was busy. A normal day. A regur day. Nothing to worry about.

  I kept trying, but the line was always busy. Then finally, the phone rang. Someone picked up.

  "Hello?"

  A voice answered. "This is Dr. X. How may I help you?"

  "Oh, hi, uhm, yeah, I need some assistance. I need 200 liters of gender changing potion."

  "What is this for?"

  I sighed. "A request from my friend."

  There was silence on the other side of the line.

  "Hang on," said Dr. X, and he put the receiver down.

  After a few moments, he returned to the phone. "Sorry for the dey, but we will deliver the potion right away."

  "Thank you very much," I replied.

  "My pleasure. We will be sending it by air today. Please wait for your package. Bill is sent to your email."

  Dr. X hung up.

  Wait, I thought. What did he just say?

  I checked my email, and sure enough, an invoice was sent to me. My mouth dropped open when I saw the amount.

  200 liters of gender changing potion cost 300,000.

  Holy shit. That's way more than I ever expected.

  I took a deep breath.

  I'm going to pay for this myself.

  ***

  Eighth day of No Nut November.

  I woke up early today. The delivery was really by air. Drones carried the package to me.

  The moment I opened the box, I felt a sudden rush of relief.

  I looked at the rocket uncher and the blue liquid inside. I poured it into the tank, and then turned on the valve.

  I counted to three before I pulled the trigger.

  And then I shot the rocket.

  It flew through the air, and then exploded above the clouds.

  The sky was filled with steam. I fucking ran back into house, and shut the door.

  I made sure to lock it, just in case.

  It's going to be hell today.

  ***

  Masturbation: 0

  No Nut November: 8 days.

  The sky was filled with thick mist. I could barely see. I couldn't even tell where the rocket nded. Soon, it rained. I was in my house waiting for the rain to stop. After twenty minutes, the rain stopped.

  I checked the social media for reaction. Gender changing rain was trending, and people were hysterical.

  @Komikon: It's raining men.

  @Zublonsky: I found my true love!

  @Amanda_Bassett: This must be why I've been feeling so horny tely.

  I ughed.

  Gender changing rain was spreading like wild fire. People were having all sorts of thoughts. Some people wanted to find their soul mates, while others were thankful that they could get id.

  It's better than it sounds.

  People were sharing stories of how the rain changed them.

  @NaughtySue: I met a man who was as tall as a tree. He was perfect. He was a woman. I fell in love.

  @LindaTania: My husband is now a woman. We're happy.

  I ughed.

  My friend now owes me a million dolrs. She promised to give me money tomorrow.

  I hope she can do it.

  I went to the bathroom. I was about to take a shower when the phone rang.

  I answered it.

  "Hello?" I asked.

  "Hello, this is Dr. X," said a voice on the other side of the phone.

  "Uhm, hello. Is something wrong?" I asked. "I paid the bill already."

  "Yes, that's right," said Dr. X. "I have two questions for you."

  "Okay," I replied.

  "First off, I don't think that you actually needed 200 liters of the potion. 100 liters would easily cover you."

  "But I want to make sure that I'm covered," I replied.

  "Second question," said Dr. X, "Why did you shoot the rocket into the sky? Did you not realize what you were doing?"

  "I didn't know," I replied. "I mean, I knew what I was doing, but I didn't know the consequences. I just wanted to try it out."

  "Well, that was a good experiment, but please refrain from using rockets in the future."

  "Okay," I replied. "Thank you for your advice."

  I ended the call. I quickly took a shower. I felt refreshed after the shower. The month of No Nut November has been good this year.

  I had survived eight days.

  I was proud of myself.

  I was also relieved. It seemed like I wouldn't have any more problems.

  ***

  The next day was the ninth day of No Nut November. My friend called me and told me to go to her house. I was surprised since this was the first time she'd invited me over. I got to her pce and was surprised when I saw that she lived in a fucking mansion.

  "Wow, it looks like a castle!" I excimed.

  She smiled.

  "Thanks," she said. "Come in."

  I walked inside. There were two girls sitting on the couch. They wore a bck suits with red tie. Looks like they got under gender changing rain. They held a suitcase with a pink ribbon.

  I looked at them. They both looked very attractive. One was tall and thin, while the other one was short and curvy. Both of them were beautiful. Former men, who were now women.

  I sighed.

  They looked someone from a bank, and my friend is a billionaire.

  "Hi, I'm Jack," said the tall girl.

  I introduced myself.

  "I'm Leonard," said the shorter girl.

  "We're here to give you your payment," said the taller girl.

  That's why I came here. They gave me an envelope full of cash. I opened the envelope.

  "Here's 1 million dolrs," said the taller girl.

  I looked at my friend. She shrugged her shoulders.

  "Don't worry," said the taller girl. "Everything is clean. We won't ask anything else."

  I thanked them.

  I left.

  I thought about my friend. She was really rich. And she was getting richer by the day.

  ***

  The tenth day of No Nut November.

  Someone repeated my trick I did two days ago on the president of United States. He was giving speeches in front of the people. And then rain started pouring. He was transformed into a woman. His speech was cut short. Everyone ughed.

  I chuckled.

  He was now a woman. She started screeching like a cat.

  This was hirious.

  I couldn't believe it. I couldn't stop ughing.

  ***

  The eleventh day of No Nut November.

  I woke up, and found that president issued emergency orders. He banned all the sex potions. He even ordered for the arrest of everyone who was involved in manufacturing these potions.

  Dr. X was in trouble.

  My friend must've warned him.

  I felt bad for Dr. X. But he was the one who made this whole mess happen. He should've known that this was going to happen. I was just a simple guy trying to make some quick bucks. I wasn't responsible for his actions.

  And now Dr. X would be arrested.

  Good luck, buddy. You deserve everything coming your way.