<~> Chapter 201I climbed up the stairs to the room that had bee aside for me. After the little ta and the te hour, the versatioered out so we decided to drop things for now. We had discussed most of the important issues already, all that was left would be what our pns were iy going forward and that would have to wait until after we talked to the person in charge of the embassy tomorrow m.

  Silva gave me a longing look before walking into one of the rooms aloorien was waiting for me in my room, not the one earmarked for Silva. I sighed. By this point, I was mentally fatigued aher of the twins were in the most stable pce at the moment. Man was still glued to my side, not eveing go of my hand as we climbed the stairs. Bel had subtly made it clear that she was joining me in my room as well, so several of the rooms lent to us would sit empty tonight. Not that I minded of course. Mimi chose to e with us as well, a cursory look at our bond told me that she was still worried for the twins as well. I didn't bme her, even if the bed might be a little crowded tonight.

  I opehe door to find a nervous looking Torien sitting in a chair he bed waiting for us. She rexed a little when she saw me and her sister. I walked over and sat on the bed near her and Man took the initiative to sit on the opposite side of me.

  "Hey," I said to her quietly.

  Torien's ears went bad she looked away. "...hey."

  "Are you okay?" I asked.

  "...no," she whimpered out.

  "e here." I patted the spaext to me.

  She hesitantly stood up and sat o me on the bed. Bel and Mimi had started ging into fortable clothes and got ready to y on the bed behind us, listening but not butting i.

  After a few quiet moments, I pulled Torien into a hug. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

  There ause before she shook her head. "No... I don't even know why I'm so upset..."

  I nodded. "That's okay. Do you want to sleep together with us tonight?"

  She nervously looked up at me. "Would... that be okay?" She g her sister for firmation.

  "Of course," I said.

  Man got up and moved to the other side of Torien before pulling her into an. "Absolutely, Torien. It would be cruel if I turned you away after all the times you let me cry on your shoulder."

  Torien g me before returning her eyes to her sister. "Even though she's... yours?"

  Man sighed. "She might be my lover, but she's still our family." Man's face suddenly turned a little red. "Maybe someday even your sister-in-w."

  Torien didn't react with words, she just hugged her. Man stood up and pulled her to the other side of the room. "Let's get ged into something fortable. Unlike everyone else, we still o get a good amount of sleep. Tomorrow might end up being just as busy." Torien nodded and walked across the room where Mimi had set out all of our chests. I looked away as the twins started stripping out of their maid uniforms to ge into their nightclothes.

  I looked over at Bel and Mimi who were lying oher side of the bed. "You don't mind do you?" I asked.

  Bel smiled. "I don't. You gave me time when I needed some, I'm happy to let them have some too. Besides, it's not as if you're being taken away to another room, the five of us are just going to have to squish into this bed."

  I smiled back at her. "At least this bed isn't too small for that. It seems we've been given some grand aodations."

  "True," she replied. Then she looked over to the bnk wall. "I feel Silva's lonelihrough the bond..."

  "Yeah..." I said with a frown. "There's not much we really do though I thiher Torien will ask for my help, or the two will figure things out on their own. We haven't had a ce to talk about it fully but... I still feel a bit betrayed as well. I guess in the end it didn't harm any of us but it still hurts that she's been lying to us all of this time about her motivations..."

  Bel nodded. "True."

  We sat there quietly for a moment before the twins came back over after ging. The two of them came up to the edge of the bed aated. Torien turo her sister. "Would it be alright if I slept between you and Lilith?"

  Man smiled faintly. "Sure."

  Bel pulled the b bad Man slid between Bel and Torien, leaving me a spot at the edge of the bed. It felt a bit awkward to be this close to Torien in her nightclothes but I got undressed and slid io her anyway. She hugged Man from behind and I ed an arm around Torieing it against her belly. My touch seemed to rex her a bit because she leaned back against me until we were toug. I took the hint and scooted forward a little so she wouldn't be in su aosition. Once I felt settled in, Torien seemed fortable a out a quiet rexed sigh. Bel pyed with Man's hair for a bit before leaning in and giving her a chaste kiss which made Man giggle.

  It had been a very long day and while I was mentally tired, I couldn't help but let my thoughts race a little. The most immediate thing on my mind right now was Torien. She had never been the most gy person, to put it mildly, but right now she was hurting. This was a distinctly different side of her that I hadn't seen before. More vulnerable. While Man had been the most devastated initially, ohings returo normal a little, and she fell bato her retionship with me and Bel, she seemed to calm down a bit. That wasn't the case with Torien.

  Torien was more anxious than I'd ever seen her and while I had vinced her that things would be okay in the short term, I don't think she had really internalized it yet. And then there was Silva... I'm not really sure what's going through Torien's head about her right now but I suspect she doesn't know how she's supposed to feel about Silva either. I haven't been privy to all of their versations, iionally so, but Torien is ag more betrayed than I am and I'm ly sure why.

  Was it Silva's transformation? The lying? Removing her own colr? I wasn't sure but it was enough for Torien to take some space from her. I frowned. I hated to think this way, but if things came to it, I would choose the twins over Silva in a heartbeat. If Torien decided she couldn't work with Silva anymore, she'd be out of the party. Unbanced party or not, I valued the two of them more, eveing aside that Man was my lover. It was harsh to think that way but it was the truth.

  My retionship with Silva was in a weird spot on its own. I guess I felt like I was 'saving' her by taking ownership of her. I thought I roteg her from having a bad master, giving her some freedom to behave however she wanted with me instead. But the reality was that she had been able to escape her svery at any time, had been hidirue strength because she was actually proteg me. I had trusted her with my back because I thought she was petent sure, but... the dynamic just felt different now. She didn't actually need me, I wasn't really helping her, it no longer felt like a fair arra. I felt like I would be taking advantage of her.

  Was I being selfish? Did I have some sort of hero plex where I felt the o save others to feel good about myself? I frowhe thought actually didn't seem that far off from the truth. I felt the same way about the twins to some extent. I think I had been kind of self-absorbed with the idea of freeing them from svery, picturing myself as a knight on a white horse, riding in to save them even though they hadn't actually asked for that. I don't think I was wrong, I'm still happy they're free of those evil colrs, but the whole time... I was kind of doing it for me, not because it was what they wanted. I was imposing my ideals on them, whether it was justified or not. I don't think the better option would have been to tio keep them as my sves but I should still be ho with myself about it.

  I sighed and squeezed around Torien a little more. Her breathing had slowed and I retty sure she was asleep now. This situation did make ohing clear to me though, I did love Torien like family. Not in the same way I loved Man... though I'd be lying if I said I didn't fitractive too. But Torie like... my best friend. She is the ohat I trusted to give me solid advice, who would call me out if I was being stupid, was the ohat would raise an eyebrow with a bemused expression while the rest of us were being silly...

  I'm happy that Torien wanted me to fort her when she's vulnerable like this, but at the same time, her current ck of fidence hurt my own fidence. In a lot of ways Torien is the bae of our party in my mind, the stable foundation that kept us all going strong. Seeihis weak and vulnerable... has shaken me a bit I think. Seeing both of them nearly fall apart over being freed from their colrs was a lot more disheartening than I thought.

  There was also Lorriene. More than ever, I didn't know what to think about her. This m she had been my friends' gentle and meek auntie. Now she was a dangerous assassin in a cult that worshiped me of all people. I had also seen how reverently the twins had looked at her when she used that straeleportation ability to kill that Tamin padin. Her race had been ensved in the first pce for being well known assassins and that looked like a taste of their flory. To be frank, the woman scares me a little bit, but I believe she really does love her nieces. Everything she's said ultimately came back to that, so if nothing else, I believe I trust her to do what was best for them. I just hoped that my best and her best aligned.

  Yawning, I snuggled up a bit more to Torien. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow m. I would have to iate with the elven embassy, and that Master Tangleleaf guy. Cecilia seemed to trust him so I didn't think he would screw us over and it didn't sound like they are ected to Amphores but I also wasn't sure how much I should reveal to them. I figured I would probably reveal everything to Tarklin when I saw him but the idea of nebulous elven politics scared me almost even more than the cultists. Who knows what would happen if I actally revealed secret information to this Tangleleaf guy aurned out to be aligned in some obscure way against Tarklin and I unknowingly burn some bridges? Maybe I'll have to talk to Cecilia about him. She doesn't strike me as someone who really knew a lot about politid she said as much, but she would hopefully at least know if I would be fug things up by revealing too mu.

  Torien's tail shifted in her sleep and rubbed me in a pretty inappropriate spot... It had been a couple days since most of us have had sex and while I wasn't starving for it yet, a bit more would certainly be wele. Too much had happeoday that even if Torien wasn't sharing my room, I don't think anyone would really be in the mood for it. But maybe I could work a quickie in with Mimi or Bel tomorrow m before things get moving. I pictured it while drifting off to sleep. Mmm, the idea didn't sound that bad.

  Saine

  Hello! A pretty heavy Torien chapter this time. She's having to e to terms with how she feels about Silva after being lied to. Emotions like this be rather fusing to deal with and Torien seems like the kind of person to bottle things up a lot normally. What happens when you 't bottle things up anymore though? You break down. I hope you ehe chapter, thanks for reading!

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