“How the hell…” the baffled crustacean muttered as he brought a pincer up to the monocle that had nearly fallen off his eye.
[Orcish Berserk activated!]
[Trait]
[Once a day, upon reaching near-death, the orc enters an enraged state that refills stamina back to full and drains his Intellect points down to 1 to add them to his Strength for 5 minutes. During Orcish Berserk, all damage dealt and received is also doubled. After Berserk runs out, stamina drops to 1.]
“Beware, my orcish friend!” Hannabeth said, stepping in front of the chieftain as he charged toward the ogre behemoth. “Our foe is much too powerful for—Oof!”
Khargol made no attempt to even slow down as his shoulder pushed the knight out of the way and made her fall to the floor.
He kept going, sprinting past Thunk, who just stood by, making no effort to stop him and instead just nodding her head slowly in approval as her gaze followed him.
White-eyed and wild, the orc fixed on the titan, jaws wrenched wide to bare his protruding fangs. Foam and spittle flew as he bellowed like a rabid animal unleashed into slaughter.
“RAAAAGH!”
The green berserker lifted his battleaxe just as the towering brute hauled its tree-trunk club back, gathering force for another devastating blow.
For a moment, Balthazar expected a repeat of last time, and to watch the orc flying back into the wall again. Instead, everyone in the chamber watched in awe as the chieftain defied all odds.
The behemoth brought its club toward Khargol like a battering ram about to break down a castle gate during a siege—but the orc was ready this time.
With his axe raised in both hands, the warrior drove the blade straight through the heart of the wood, turning his opponent’s own momentum into the force that split the trunk in two.
Splinters flew everywhere as the makeshift club exploded against the sharp and honed blade of the chieftain’s orcish battleaxe.
When the two halves fell to the cave floor with a groundshaking thud, the orc was left standing, the edge of his blade still held high in the air, shining as his bulging muscles moved up and down rapidly with his panting.
The ogre behemoth glared down at his empty hand and then at what remained of his destroyed weapon, a hint of incomprehension on his brow that quickly shifted to anger.
The brute pulled both fists back to strike.
“Don’t let Khargol get hit, he won’t survive it!” Balthazar desperately yelled to the two adventurers as he realized the huge downside of his ally’s impressive second wind.
Knight and barbarian leapt back into the fight without a moment of hesitation.
Thunk smashed her warhammer hard against the giant’s kneecap, causing it to falter, while Hannabeth pushed her ward up forcefully, clashing it against the fist coming down toward Khargol.
The ogre stumbled and fell to one knee, visibly stunned by the combo but still far from defeated.
“Noice!” exclaimed the unicorned adventurer.
“Excellent work, friend!” said the paladin. “Now perhaps our orc comrade should—”
A wild and furious roar burst from between the two adventurers as an enraged Khargol shot past them and jumped onto the undead thrall’s chest.
Having abandoned his weapon on the floor, the orc began pummeling the beast with his bare hands, each punch producing a crunching sound that echoed alongside his yells and the creature’s pained grunts.
The ogre fell on its back while Khargol whaled on it relentlessly, and with a level of brutality Balthazar had never seen before from the chieftain—or from anyone else, in fact.
The two adventurers could only stare, rooted where they stood, eyes wide and jaws slack at the raw violence unfolding before them.
“Holy shi—” Hannabeth began before catching herself and shifting back to her knightly tone. “I mean, by the Holy Light!”
“Damn!” Balthazar said from his safe distance. “Khargol is even scarier when he stops being smart.”
Feeling certain that his friends’ victory was assured given the orc’s continued beat down on the lich’s thrall, the crab looked back toward the undead master, seeking a reaction and an opportunity for some sweet gloating.
But the floating skeletal man in robes was already turning around hovering away behind the two pillars at the center of their arena.
“Where is he going this time?”
And then Balthazar saw it—the lich was reaching for a purple gem above a stone pedestal similar to the one they had seen earlier behind the necromantic barrier.
“Oh no, you don’t!” the crab said, skittering toward their foe without stopping to think. “We’ve seen that trick already!”
As the lich lord activated the pedestal, the gem began glowing and shot out a pulse that created a sudden purple bubble enveloping the pillars.
The crab had just crossed the line where the freshly generated barrier appeared, and he looked back, eyestalks standing up.
“Hah! This time you’re not trapping me outside!” the crustacean said smugly, gaze switching back to the lich.
“Yesss…” the whispering undead said, turning back around from the pedestal. “This time you’ve trapped yourself inside.”
Balthazar stared blankly at him for a moment.
“Sorry, could you repeat that? I seriously could not hear half of what you said with how quietly you speak.”
The lich lord’s shriveled skin pulled and twitched under one of his empty eye sockets.
“Yoooou,” the fiend started, “won’t feel so funny after I force you to face your past fears.”
The merchant frowned.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
The lich lord raised an arm back as if issuing a command.
Four figures emerged from the darkness at the end of the chamber, slowly shambling their way through the necromantic barrier unimpeded, and stepping into the light of the ceiling mushrooms.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me…” Balthazar said.
The first was a decayed zombie of an adventurer in completely ruined armor, limping on a broken ankle as he slowly made his way forward.
Next to him came a zombified wizard in old and dirty robes, his limbs twisted in unnatural ways due to several broken bones as if he had fallen from a great height.
Shambling toward the crab with arms stretched forward and disgusting dirty nails was a creepy undead with a pasty white face partially covered by shaggy black hair that matched his plain black robe.
And finally, a few paces behind the trio, came a rotten corpse in a long, embroidered robe covered in runic symbols, its hood pulled over an almost skeletal head, similar to the lich’s.
[Zombie Fighter Thrall - Level 5]
[Zombie Wizard Thrall - Level 7]
[Zombie Necromancer Thrall - Level 13]
[Zombie Arch-Necromancer Thrall - Level 30]
They were the very same adventurers the crab had met so long ago when he first discovered the Scroll of Character Creation—the one who had stepped on him before spilling the contents of his backpack all over the pond, the levitating wizard, the necromancer who bought the corpses of the other two, and behind them was even the arch-necromancer who later attacked the bazaar with their reanimated corpses.
“How many times will these guys keep coming back?!” exclaimed the annoyed crustacean.
“Yooour paaaast deeeeds,” said the lich lord, “they return to haunt you. Feeeear the consequences of your—”
“Nah, mate,” the crab said. “These guys don’t scare me even a little bit. You know how many times my friends and I have beaten them?!”
“Insolent creature!” the undead master spat, thrusting his shriveled hand forward. “Destroy him!”
The four thralls circled in on the merchant, and he glanced back at the purple bubble cornering him.
Balthazar could still hear the muffled noises of his ally’s battle with the ogre behemoth outside the barrier, so he knew there would be no assistance from there.
“Alright, fellas,” the crab said to the zombies. “I don’t want to—Hey, watch the chitin, pal!”
The zombified fighter hopped off his good leg and threw himself over Balthazar’s carapace, hanging on to the edges of the merchant’s wool hat while smacking and slapping him with his open palms.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Leaping from the other flank, the fallen wizard grabbed one of the crab’s legs and tried to start gnawing at it, but all Balthazar felt were gums grossly rubbing against his joints—apparently, the wizard had also lost all of his teeth on the fall from his levitating state that fateful day.
The necromancer pushed himself toward the crab’s face, tripping and falling as he reached forward and covering the rest of the distance crawling. His ugly, putrid face—and breath—were enough of an attack on their own even without being able to get those dirty nails on him as far as Balthazar was concerned.
“Get off me, you rotting idiots!” the merchant exclaimed as he was bogged down by the three assailants. “You’re slobbering all over my favorite hat!”
The reanimated arch-necromancer stood halfway between them and the lich lord, groaning quietly like an undead captain taking orders from his general.
A wheezing sound that was seemingly the lich lord’s version of a quiet cackle, filled the purple bubble around them as he pointed a finger at the crab.
“Now perish like all the others.”
As the thralls continued their assault on him, Balthazar felt a brief moment of worry—until he checked his system status and that feeling was quickly dispelled.
[Health: 334/340]
“Uhhh… Well, this is awkward,” he said. “Not to rain on your evil parade or anything, but your thrall buddies are kind of too low-level for me at this point. They’re barely tickling me.”
A guttural snarl escaped the lich’s pursed lips as he waved his hand toward the arch-necromancer thrall.
As if jolted into action by an invisible force, the zombie raised his own arms and weaved a spell. A green aura began radiating from him, soon reaching the other three thralls as well, and filling their eyes with a green glow.
Whatever that buff was, it seemed to have energized the reanimated adventurers, as their attacks on the crab gained a new vigor.
Not enough to actually hurt, but at least pester slightly more.
[Health: 318/340]
Ineffective or not, I can’t just sit here letting them chip away at my health all day. Balthazar thought. It’s high but not infinite!
The three zombies continued uselessly trying to chew on him as the crustacean simply rubbed his chin in thought.
[Health 306/340]
Oh! This is the perfect time to use that skill I got ages ago and never got a chance to try!
[Crab Snack]
[Food is life. Your special metabolism and unique eating habits have made you able to get more out of a quality snack than just delight. For the next 5 minutes, each sweet pastry or baked good you eat heals you for a small amount.]
The lich lord stopped cackling and stared at the crab with arms frozen in the air and an expression of bewilderment on his wrinkly brow.
“What… What are you doing?” the undead whispered quietly.
The fighter, wizard, and necromancer thralls continued their fruitless assault on the crab, attempting to bite and claw at his chitin, all while the crustacean casually pulled all sorts of little baggies and folded pieces of cloth from his backpack.
“I’m having a snack break, can’t you tell?!” Balthazar said with a smug grin as he unfolded one of the baggies to reveal a small crumpet Madeleine had packed for him before leaving. “I’m not going to skip any meals just because you’re trying to kill me.”
[Health: 330/340]
The lich’s jaw hung slightly open as he watched the eight-legged creature claw away at crumpets, slices of pie, cookies, and other pastries, chewing loudly and letting out moans of delight, all while his thralls smacked and pulled at the crab’s armored exterior.
“Oh yeah, that hits the spot!” Balthazar exclaimed as he smacked the lips he didn’t even have.
“What… are you?!” the dumbfounded undead master said.
“I’m a merchant crab, couldn’t you tell!” the happy crustacean exclaimed. “You’re not very good at paying attention to things, are you?”
The lich scowled, and the crab’s grin widened.
“You couldn’t tell I was stalling you. You didn’t notice the fighting outside your bubble stopped half a minute ago either. And you also didn’t notice… that.”
Balthazar pointed his claw over the floating cadaver’s shoulder, and the undead turned his head to see Sir Edmund Auclair Allard—wearing his zombified corpse, of course—standing next to the mana gem’s pedestal with a rotten grin on his face.
“HeLloooO!” the gentleman's corpse uttered as he waved.
“No!” screamed the lich.
But Sir Ned was not one of his thralls, so he didn’t obey.
With a slap, the ghost-possessed zombie knocked the power source off the pedestal, causing the necromantic barrier to vanish.
The lich’s hands glowed purple as he immediately prepared to cast a spell toward Sir Ned in retaliation, but before he could even form the beginnings of his magic, an ungodly sound echoed from the other side of the arena.
A sharp neigh, accompanied by thundering gallops.
“Nheeheehee!” Thunk’s voice exclaimed from a distance as she came rushing out of the darkness, a bright magical rainbow trailing behind her as she charged head-first toward the stunned lich.
The arch-necromancer stood partially in her way, and the stallion-barbarian unceremoniously smacked him out of her way with her warhammer, sending the frail corpse rolling away until it landed lifeless against one of the pillars.
As the reanimated reanimator expired, so did his puppets. The three adventurers crowding the crab went limp and fell to the floor, where they crumbled to ashes, leaving nothing but their empty clothes.
The lich lord turned his hands to the rainbow-powered barbarian charging at him, a glowing spear of purple magic ready to shoot, but a bright light came from the undead’s flank, forcing him to turn again.
“I vanquish thee, foul fiend!” Hannabeth’s booming voice shouted as she jumped shield-first at the lich.
Caught by surprise from so many sides, the lich released his spell a moment too soon, and it shot between the barbarian and the knight, but hitting neither of them.
Hannabeth bashed her shield against the floating skeletal figure and a blinding light exploded from her Believer’s Ward, filling the cave with as much light as if the very sun itself had appeared in the middle of the arena.
“AAARGH!” the evil lich screamed as sizzling and smoke came out of his empty eye sockets.
While he already did not have eyes before, he was definitely blind now.
Which was a shame, because that made him miss out on the fabulous rainbow light show coming his way.
Charging at full speed, Thunk rammed the lich headfirst, her unicorn helm impaling him through the chest and lifting his body high into the air on the sheer strength of her neck alone.
The undead screamed and let out helpless yelps as the frenzied woman shook him around like a rag doll with her horn, neighing loudly the whole time while shimmering trails of rainbow lights flew off from their macabre dance.
“You… cannot… kill me!” the lich struggled to say as he continued being tossed around in the air. “I am… immortal!”
Balthazar, standing up from the pile of ashes that used to be his attackers a moment before, clacked his pincer as he pointed it at the fiend’s forehead.
“Not without your phylactery you’re not!”
A raging roar exploded out of nowhere as Khargol, still in orcish berserk, charged in with his battleaxe held high.
Thunk stopped rocking the lich’s world, took a knee with him still firmly stuck to her helmet, and lined up for the orc to use her back as a step to launch himself up.
The chieftain brought his weapon back and, with the mightiest dunk Balthazar had ever witnessed, struck the circlet sitting on the undead’s head.
The blade connected against the silvery metal of the phylactery and a tiny plink echoed through the cave as the axe chipped and the circlet cracked.
“Oh no…” the lich lord whispered as his empty eye sockets widened.
A circular explosion of purple dust shot out from atop the barbarian’s horn, leaving nothing but his empty purple robes behind.
Thunk untangled herself from the dusty vestments that had fallen over her face and looked around confused.
“Where bad guy go?!”
“I… I think we vanquished him?” said Hannabeth, lowering her shield, which had returned to its normal state of not glowing brightly like a star.
Balthazar approached the group as a system notification filled his field of view.
[A bunch of Undead Ogre Thralls defeated. Shared experience gained.]
[Undead Ogre Behemoth defeated. Shared experience gained.]
[Lich Lord defeated. Shared experience gained.]
[You have reached level 37]
[You have reached level 38]
Wow, that’s a backlog!
The crab heard a heavy thud and dismissed the system notification as he saw Khargol’s body hit the floor.
“Hey, Khargol?!” he said, skittering to the orc. “Are you alright?”
The chieftain raised his head with difficulty to look at the crab.
“Yes. Just… very exhausted.”
Balthazar chuckled.
“Heh, good to see you’ve regained your wits. Let me get you something…”
Reaching into his backpack, the merchant produced a shiny bottle of green liquid.
Extending his claw to the orc, he offered him the stamina potion.
Khargol hesitated.
“I did not bring any coin down with me.”
Balthazar rolled his eyestalks.
“Take it. You don’t have to pay… right now,” he said, making sure to put a lot of emphasis on the last part.
The orc gave a slight nod and took the bottle, quickly tipping its contents down his throat.
“You know, Khargol,” Balthazar said as he watched the green warrior slowly sitting up, “I think after today, you’ve definitely passed your elder’s trial.”
The chieftain produced what the crab could only describe as the closest to a smile he had ever seen.
“You know, crab… I think I did.”
Huffing and puffing came from a few paces away, making the orc and the crustacean turn their gazes to the exasperated barbarian waving her arms around.
“Bad guy dead! Where loot?!”
Balthazar looked around the chamber.
“Well, strange as it seems, this bad guy didn’t just keep all of his valuables in a chest conveniently stored behind his arena,” the crab said with a tone of sarcasm he was certain to be entirely wasted on his current company. “So weird, right?”
“Shiny loot!” Thunk exclaimed as she picked up the cracked circlet the lich had left behind. “Purdy!”
Joshua, who had been hiding behind some rocks a safe distance away the entire time, came to join them just as the muscular adventurer hung the piece of silver jewelry on her helmet’s horn, which had now returned to normal and no longer produced rainbows everywhere.
“It looks nice on you, Thunk!” the farmer boy said, giving her two thumbs-up.
The barbarian grinned and nodded at him, making the circlet spin around and jingle against the unicorn horn.
“You… do know that thing was sitting on a rotting corpse’s head just a moment ago, right?” the mildly disgusted crustacean asked.
“My, these robes are of exquisite quality, I must say,” said Hannabeth as she picked up the undead lord’s former vestments off the pile of dust and ash they were sitting on. “With the right tailor, these could make for a fine cloak—worthy of a fine knight!”
Balthazar sighed as he pinched the space between his eyestalks.
“You adventurers are such weirdos…”
“Good thing you had read about phylacteries before, good merchant!” the knight-paladin said. “But… how did you know the circlet was the vessel holding the lich’s soul to the mortal realm?”
The crab scoffed and waved a dismissive claw at her.
“Pfft, please. It was glowing and sitting on the bad guy’s head, it was practically screaming ‘weak point right here’ at us.”
“All is well that ends well!” Sir Edmund’s voice exclaimed through his corpse’s mouth as they approached the group too. “I love a good happy ending, of course, but may I ask… what now?”
“Yeah, the zombie makes a good point,” said Joshua, apparently no longer as bothered by the present undead company as before. “Where do we go now? Back up to the surface? Back to the kobolds? Is there anything else down here?”
As the others talked, Balthazar’s focus drifted away, to the other end of the chamber, where the light almost didn’t reach.
There was a tunnel there, leading down, he could tell that much. And it was as if a quiet wind howled from within it, beckoning him, calling him closer, summoning him to approach.
“There,” the crab said to the others, pincer pointed forward. “We go down that way. There’s… something important there. I just know it.”
“Loot?” Thunk asked with a shrug.
After they helped Khargol back up onto his feet, and they made sure there was truly no sneaky loot chest hiding somewhere, the group headed further down into the mountain’s center, carefully climbing down a narrow and treacherous precipice that seemed to go on forever with its twists and turns.
After about an hour of mostly quiet journeying down through rocky passages and bridges over what looked like bottomless abysses, Balthazar saw lights ahead.
A tall corridor with rows of torches on both sides of it extended ahead, and over in the far distance, at the very end of it, he could see a gigantic double iron gate.
As soon as the crab set a leg onto the corridor’s floor, a line of text appeared in his eyes.
[Semla’s Core Gate discovered]