“I hope Cassie isn’t too mad at me.” I tell Corax as I drop onto my bed.

  He cocks his head at me, silently asking what I mean.

  “Her heart rate spiked a ton while I worked. I can only imagine how stressed she was.” It must have taken a lot to trust me that much.

  Corax climbs from my shoulder without a word and settles in the center of his nest.

  “I think I’m going to try writing again. Can you keep an eye on me?”

  Corax nods in response.

  “Ok. Thank you.” I grab the tablet next to me and begin to write. My journal is mostly disconnected moments of my life, roughly in order. It’s not very legible to anyone other than me, but I guess it’s helping.

  Only a few minutes ter Corax bites my leg to get my attention. I hadn’t even realized I was on the verge of tears once again.

  “Oh, thanks.” I do want to keep working on it, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea. “Do you want to read for a few minutes before I try again?”

  Corax nods and I dive back into Cassie’s book. I switch between the two every few minutes. At least I’m able to write a moment longer every time. That’s definitely a good sign.

  We follow that pattern for a few hours until a knock on the door interrupts us.

  “May I come in?” Ivy asks through the door.

  “Sure.”

  “Can I talk to Corax real quick?” Ivy asks while she opens the door.

  I give Corax a look, trying to get him to tell me why she needs him. Instead of responding, he flies quickly to her shoulder.

  “Just give us one minute.” Ivy holds up a single finger while closing the door.

  “Ok?”

  The two of them disappear out into the hallway. Is Corax in trouble? I can’t think how he would be, he’s barely left my side. Unless he said something bad while he was talking to Silver? But why would they only talk to him about it now? And why would Ivy be the one to talk to him about that? He’s fine, and I just have to wait.

  I don’t want to read ahead without him, and writing without him is certainly an awful idea. I tap my fingers in an effort to focus my mind. Repetitions of eleven. I’m not going to let myself slip the moment he’s gone. I’m ok.

  I focus on my fingers for only a few minutes before the door opens once again. Corax immediately flies to my shoulder.

  “Everything ok?” I ask both him and Ivy in the doorframe.

  “Of course.” Ivy says, closing the door behind her. “Turns out, Corax and I were already on the same page.”

  That just brings up more questions.

  “Do I get to know what that is?”

  “No.” Corax answers.

  “You probably will eventually. We’ll see how things go.” Ivy comes over to the bed and sits on the far end. “Mind if I hang out for a bit?”

  “Sure.” I’m not in a rush to write in my journal. I’m sure we’ll have to go back out eventually, and it’s too dangerous to write anywhere but here, but for now I’m in no rush.

  “How did it go with Cassie?” Ivy asks.

  “She might be mad at me. Her heart rate was really high, and her face was red while I worked on her arm.”

  “Oh, I don’t think she was mad at you.” Ivy says with a knowing look. “You’re doing fine, don’t worry.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m very sure.”

  I guess she would know better than me. If she can seemingly always know what I’m thinking, she can probably do the same with the others. Although apparently everyone can tell how I’m feeling, so maybe not.

  “So what have you two been up to?” Ivy asks, not letting silence settle over the three of us.

  “We’re taking a break from my hair. Corax has been helping me write, and I’ve been reading to him.”

  “Another one of Cassie’s books? What’s this one about?”

  “Just another romance book. But this one is super good.” I’m not even sure Cassie has many other book types. Other than poetry of course, but Corax doesn’t like those.

  “Romance is always nice. Do you think you’d ever want to date someone?” Ivy asks casually.

  “I don’t think I can?” Why would she ask? “Nobody can know about me, so I’d never meet anyone.”

  “Why not? You wouldn’t be the first AI to date a human. Besides, I’m just talking theoretically. Ignore the practicalities.”

  “I guess? I’ve never really thought about it.” Something is weird here, but I don’t know what. “Why?”

  “Just trying to make conversation.” Ivy shrugs. “Would you want to date a boy or a girl?”

  “I don’t think it really matters? Either I guess?” Is she trying to set me up with someone? No, that wouldn’t make sense. She wouldn’t risk everyone’s lives for a partner I could live without. I have seen her gossip with Cassie before, maybe she’s just doing that? Although this feels different from st time.

  I look to Corax for an answer, but he gives no hint towards what’s happening.

  “What about you?” I ask Ivy.

  “I’m literally dating Vince.”

  “Oh!” I had no idea. “Uh, congratutions.” I guess that expins why she’s always in Vince’s room. Of course they’d be hanging out as much as possible.

  Ivy lets out a surprised ugh.

  “Thanks. I’ll let Vince know.”

  “Hey Ivy?” I say after a few seconds of silence. Why not have a tough conversation that’s been weighing on my mind. “Can you help me with something?”

  “Of course.”

  “A long time ago we talked about installing a switch to disable my limbs. I want you to help me do that.”

  “Are you sure?” Ivy asks in a way that makes it clear I don’t have to do this.

  “I don’t want to lose you all again. And if Corax can’t pull me back, I want him to at least be able to turn me off.”

  “Ok. What would I need to do?”

  “There’s a bundle of 128 wires at the tip of my spine, just beneath, well, me. You just need to splice a switch into sixteen of them.” I grab my tablet and plug myself in, instantly generating a diagram and handing it to Ivy.

  “I’m not sure I’m the best choice for this.” She hands the tablet back to me.

  “Why not?” I can’t think of anyone better. “You have steady hands and a good eye. It should be easy.”

  “I wouldn’t know how to make it st. Every field repair I’ve tried on Cassie’s legs have failed within a week. She’s your best bet if you don’t want Sonia to do it.”

  Is it that obvious that I don’t want Sonia to do it? Yeah of course it is, Ivy can read minds after all.

  “But she’s still learning her new arm.”

  “Then you either wait, or I can supervise while Sonia works. I can get Vince too if it’ll help.”

  “Do you think he could do it?” Despite knowing the answer I can’t help but hope.

  Ivy only shakes her head in response.

  “It’s safer to get it done now.” I stand up and grab Corax. I’ll certainly need his support.

  “Alright. I’ll go get Vince.” Ivy stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder, her small show of support making me feel a little better.

  “Thanks.” She removes her hand, and I repce it with Corax. “I’ll go get started I guess.”

  Corax and I head downstairs, tablet in hand. Ivy, on the other hand, lets herself into Vince’s room without knocking. On the stairs I run into Vince, deep in his own thoughts.

  “Vince?” I pull him out of his mind. “Ivy was looking for you.” Ivy can tell him what’s going on. I don’t want to have yet another conversation.

  “Thanks, Little Blue.” He passes me by on the stairs.

  Sonia’s garage is thankfully abandoned, save for the woman herself. As always she’s so focused on some project she doesn’t give any sign she noticed when I came in. I close the door behind me and wait for her to finish.

  “What do you need?” She finishes soldering something and puts it to the side.

  “I need a switch wired.” I walk up to her and hand her my tablet.

  While she’s memorizing the schematics, Vince and Ivy enter the room. Sonia gives them a gnce, but doesn’t say anything.

  “I can do that. Lay down.” She says, but doesn’t hand my tablet back. I don’t ask for it either, I’d be more comfortable with her having a reference.

  Corax flies up into the rafters, giving him the perfect view regardless of what happens.

  I y face down on the operating table in the center of the room. Ivy and Vince pull up chairs and sit directly in front of me, offering their silent support. Vince’s expression is simir to how he looked while Cassie was undergoing surgery.

  “You’re going to be alright.” He says, although I’m not sure if he’s reassuring me, or himself.

  “I know.”

  “Ready?” Sonia drops a handful of tools and parts on a nearby table.

  “I guess.” Reluctantly I move the needed skin ptes out of the way. Even though it’s close, I’m very careful to not give her access to my organic chip. “Just work on one limb at a time, and tell me before you cut any wires. I really need as many limbs working as possible at all times.”

  Losing access to all of them is far too simir to how I was when stuck in the b.

  “Sure. Starting on right arm.”

  I block out the flow of data from that arm. Feeling it go offline would be much worse than just doing it now.

  I can feel her brush against the back of my neck as she works. I’m ok. I keep my focus on the two in front of me, and on the fingers of my opposite hand. It’s not enough.

  “Hey Ivy? Vince? Can you talk to me?”

  “Sure Little Blue. Got anything in mind?” Vince tries his best to hide his worry, but some still seeps into his voice.

  “Literally anything.” I know they can hear the desperation in my voice.

  “Alright, well. I visited the kids today.” Vince begins telling me about them.

  Thankfully he keeps talking without waiting for a response. I focus on his voice, desperately trying to ignore my nonfunctional limb.

  Vince’s story is interrupted every few minutes by Sonia informing me one limb is done, and which one she’s working on next. I can’t feel any difference between before and after Sonia messed with my wiring, but it’s still awful knowing I’m only a single flick of a finger away from going limp.

  Ten minutes ter, she pops off two of the ptes on my neck.

  “Switch is installed. Just need to reshape these.” She sounds so bored, like I’m an inconvenience. Well I guess I am.

  She was like an entirely different person when she first worked on me. I guess my problems aren’t interesting enough anymore.

  I sit up and gently run my fingers across the new switch on my neck. Once my other ptes are reinstalled, it will be just a small bump sticking out. It won’t get caught on anything, but all it takes to turn my limbs off is sliding it down.

  “How do you feel?” Ivy asks.

  “Bad.” I hate this. I don’t want to lose my freedom again. “Just make sure this is a st resort.”

  “Don’t worry Little Blue.” Vince stands up and tries to put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

  His hand is too close. I scoot away before his hand reaches me, and he returns to his chair without trying again.

  “It’ll be an absolute st resort.” Vince promises.

  “I know.” I’m not going to let it need to be used.

  Corax glides down from the rafters, and nds on my shoulder. If anyone tries anything, I’ll know he’ll protect me. No matter what happens, I can always trust him.

  “Here.” Sonia returns with both the ptes. “You can reinstall them.”

  A small rectangle has been cut off each of them, giving just enough space for the switch to poke through. I reattach them myself. It feels seamless, if someone didn’t know the switch was there, it’d be easy to overlook.

  “Thank you.” I call to Sonia. She’s already moved to work on the project I interrupted once again. I turn back to Vince and Sonia. “I think Corax and I are going to go read more.”

  “Just yell if you need anything.” Ivy says. The double meaning doesn’t go over my head.

  I can hear Vince and Ivy talking quietly behind me as I leave.

  JanePtinum