September 2004, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

  I sat in the cafeteria, reading a book, while a pte full of uen food y before me. Jonathan Groff walked past me with a food tray in his hands and through the cafeteria where a bunch of girls called him "nothing." But he ighem.

  As the camera was no longer on me, I ointedly watg the se unfold.

  As Jonathan passed the table where Michael B. Jordan was sitting with a bruised face beside a few of his jock-type friends, one of said friends put his foot out and tripped Jonathan, making him fall painfully and spill all his food on the floor.

  "Oops, sorry, nothing," the bully gri the prone form of Jonathan, making others at his table ugh.

  Jonathan got up and walked toward Michael slowly, with anger in his eyes. "You gonna do anything?" he asked with forced calm.

  "What're you talking about?" Michael asked in fusion.

  "I'm talking about your pet ape just tripped me. Gonna say something?"

  "Why would I?" Michael said nontly.

  "You know why," Jonathan didn't hide the cold fury in his voice.

  "This is pathetic, man," Michael shrugged. "Your fixation on me."

  "Do you want your friends to know how you got those bruises? Really?"

  Michael got up in front of Jonathahan a foot away, and spoke in a heated whisper, "I don't know what kinda sick shit you're trying to pull, but you better walk away right now. Nothing."

  Jonathan took a deep breath as if spped across the face. But he swallowed it pretty quickly before saying, "Fine. Say hello to your dad for me." With that, Jonathan turned around and walked off.

  Michael grinned and said to his back, "Whatever, faggot."

  Jonathan stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around, "What did you call me?"

  "I called you a fag—" That's as far as Michael got before Jonathan punched him across the face.

  Michael held his nose painfully before throwing himself at Jonathan. The two started fighting on the floor like crazy, pung and spping each other fiercely. The fight turned nasty when Michael's friends came to his rescue and started hitting Jonathan.

  Emma rushed across the room from where she had been sitting to save her brother, only to have one of the bigger guys throw her bato the crowd of students.

  "Stop!" Emma cried. "Leave him aloop!"

  And then I came to the rescue. I threw one punch toward the camera, and the instant, all four bullies were on the ground. Two of the bullies were holding their noses in pain, while everyone else was looking at me in shocked silenot believing that I was capable of violence. I looked down at my rapidly bruising hand before turning towards Jonathan, helping him up to his feet, and then turned back to the bullies.

  "Touch my friends again, and I'll blind you," I said calmly. But because of the silen the room, everyone heard me.

  "Cut!" Chbosky called out excitedly. "That's what I wanted all this while! Great job, Troy, Jonathan, Michael, everyohat erfe."

  I oward him in gratitude. "When's the se?"

  "We are doh all the school ses now," Chbosky said proudly. "Mostly it's the small shots to fill out gaps between the ses, for which we won't need you. There are only two important ones left for you—Charlie's breakdown and Sam and Charlie's first kiss. The rest is all dohat too ahead of time."

  Storyb the entire movie had gone a long way in redug the shooting time. Any other inexperienced filmmaker might have tried out the same se with different camera angles, but we saved all that time by makiailed storyboards in pre-produ.

  Noould be doh the film ihan a week. There was just one problem left—Emma.

  I turoward where she had been standing just a minute ago. Not findihere, I gave a quick excuse to Chbosky and ran toward her trailer.

  "Emma!" I called out as I ran in her dire. I knew she heard me because she paused for a moment, but she didn't turn around. Instead, she kept walking.

  "Emma!" I called again, and this time, I successfully caught up to her.

  "Will you fug talk to me, dammit!?" I yelled, standing behind her right before she could enter her trailer. "What have I doo deserve this treatment, huh?"

  She turned bae with a furious look in her eyes. However, her expression didn't lessen her beauty in any way.

  "Don't create a se where anyone see. Please, Troy," she hissed, looking around as a few passing crew members gave us curious looks.

  "You've left me no choice," I retorted heatedly. "You won't take my calls, or reply to my texts. You a set like we haven't known each other for the st five years, and the worst part is those icy looks, like I killed y. I thought, before being my girlfriend, you were my best friend. I didn't front you until now because I thought you needed space, and I didn't want to put you in a difficult position. Now we're less than a week away from finishing the film. The least you do is give me an expnation. I'm not leaving until you do."

  A fsh of guilt crossed her face as I finished my rant.

  "What's going on here?" Emma's mum, Jackie, asked as she came toward us hurriedly. "Troy, you please leave her alone—"

  "It's okay, Mum," Emma interrupted. "I guess Troy and I o talk."

  "Are you sure, love?" Jackie asked worriedly.

  "Yeah. Pretty sure," Emma hen turo me and motioned for me to follow her.

  Silently, I followed her inside her trailer. It had been so long sihe two of us had been alone iher of our trailers. Her space was and , with everything in its proper pce. Quite trary to mine. I didn't like anyone ing up my mess in what I sidered my safe space, whether it was my bedroom or my trailer.

  Suddenly, my eyes nded on a small white teddy bear, and a smile came to my lips unsciously. It was a gift I had given Emma on Valentine's Day. I didn't know she had brought it with her to Pittsburgh. I picked it up and saw our names engraved on the back. It was a job that I had booked especially for her.

  "So?" Emma startled me. "You wao talk?"

  I put the teddy down and said, "You know what I want to talk about."

  Emma sighed before taking a seat on the coud motioned for me to sit across from her. I did, after a few moments of hesitation. She stayed silent for a while, absentmindedly pying with the bracelet on her wrist. Anift from me. I didn't interrupt, giving her all the time she needed.

  "I 't do this, Troy," she finally said after what felt like forever.

  "'t do what?" I asked, even though I had a sinking feeling about where this versation was heading. Some part of me refused to accept it.

  "This," she motioned between us, "us. I thought I wouldn't mind when our retionship got out. You seem not to care about all the baggage that es with fame, but I do. I 't bear the scrutiny from the media and everyone else in the world that es with dating you. I love you, I really do. But this is too mue."

  Tears began rolling down her cheeks as she wiped them away.

  "Please, Troy," she said between sobs.

  "Hey," I whispered, moving forward to her in a tight hug. "Why didn't you tell me sooner how much this was affeg you? I could have told the media we weren't dating, buried the story, and even gotten a fake girlfriend to cover it up. We still do that. We make everything go back to how it was a few months ago."

  Emma shook her head in the crook of my neck. "No, it won't work. Once I finish high school, I'm going to uy. Ivy League. What will you do then?"

  "I e with you," I offered, gently smoothing her hair.

  "No," she pulled back from me. "You love your job too much. When you're not w on a film, you're making music or watg movies for research. And if you went to film or music school, what could they possibly teach you that you don't already know from your practical experience? Don't waste four years of your life for me."

  "You're worth it," I said, taking both her hands in mine. "You're worth everything. I'll fight the whole world for you."

  Emma shook her head. "I'm not asking you to. Nor do I want that. Remember whearted this retionship? You said we'd still be friends even if it ended. I want this to end now. But I don't want to lose my best friend, Troy."

  I sat there, frozen, unsure of how to process what she was saying. It felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been dumped on me.

  "No," I blurted out. "Please don't say that. I'll give you all the space you need—a week, a month, however long. Just dohis."

  "I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears again. "I made this decision a month ago. I just didn't want our personal drama to disrupt the shoot. I po wait until it was over, but you forced me to do it today."

  'And you vely fot that we have to start shooting the [Harry Potter] in a few months,' I wao say but held my tongue.

  "Is this because of Lea Michele?" I asked bitterly.

  "No," Emma shook her head. "I 't bme you for her being a bitch. That was just me trying to find a reason to pin this on you. You're not to bme at all. You're perfect. This is all because of my insecurities. Maybe I'll get over it in a few years and we try again, but right now, we o go our separate ways."

  Suddenly, I stood up. I couldn't be near her anymore. I o get out of the trailer.

  I didn't say another word before walking out.

  I hadn't expected this to happen today, or anytime in the near future. Emma erfee. She said she wao remain friends, but realistically, that wasn't possible. At least nht now.

  (Break)

  "You've never had a girlfriend?" Emma asked from where she was sitting on the bed, making the pain in my heart worse. But I had a job to do, so I pushed those feelings down and shook my head in response.

  "Not even a sed-grade valentine?" she tinued.

  "No." I smiled a little, bashfully.

  "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

  "No," I said, moving toward her. "What about you?" I sat down on the bed in front of her.

  "Have I ever kissed a girl?" Emma teased.

  "No, no, your first kiss."

  She paused for a moment before answering, "I was eleven. His name was Robert. He used to e over to the house all the time."

  "Was he your first boyfriend?" I asked, curious, with a slight smile.

  "He was my…" She clicked her tongue, debating whether to tinue. "He was my dad's boss."

  My smile faded as the realization hit me.

  "You know, Charlie, I used to sleep with guys who treated me like shit. A wasted all the time. But now I feel like I have a ce. I get into a real college."

  I couldn't stop myself and took her hand. "You do it. It's true."

  Her eyes grew misty. "You really think so?" she asked hopefully.

  "My aunt had the same thing happen to her, and she turned her life around."

  "She must have bee," Emma said, wipiears.

  "She was my favorite person in the world," I replied, "until now."

  She looked away, but I didn't. It felt like this might be the st time I'd see her in a long while, and I o memorize everything—her face, her eyes, her smile, her tears—everything.

  "Charlie," she turned bae. "I know you know that I like Craig, but I want you tet about that, okay?"

  "Okay," I nodded.

  "I just wanna make sure that the first person who kisses you, loves you, okay?"

  I opened my mouth to say something, but only air came out.

  Emma smiled sweetly at my rea, then scooted closer to me. I didn't pull away as our eyes met. She gnced down at my lips, moving slowly, givihe option to back out if I wao—but I didn't.

  When our lips met, I felt a stab of pain in my chest. I had a feeling this might be our st kiss for a long time. I deepehe kiss, taking full advantage of that moment, knowing it could be cut short ter.

  Emma must have known too because she let it st lohan pnned before pulling away.

  "I love you, Troy," she said softly.

  "I love you too," I replied without thinking, as she hugged me tightly. I closed my eyes and smiled, tent.

  For a few brief moments, I fot everything. I fot that we weren't together anymore, that we had broken up, or that we were surrounded by a whole crew shooting this se. It felt real.

  Until it wasn't.

  "Cut!" Chbosky called out. "Emma, you said Troy instead of Charlie i line. Everything else was great. Just say, 'I love you, Charlie,' and we'll be done."

  I hate that man. He ruined a perfectly good moment, which could even be our st oogether.

  "A!"

  "I love you, Charlie," Emma repeated as instructed.

  "I love you too," I said in character and hugged her again, but I wasn't ag at all.

  "Cut," Chbosky called out one final time. "And we're done, guys. The shooting of [The Perks of Being a Wallflower] is over."

  As the crew cheered around us, I didn't feel any happiness at all. I couldn't look away from Emma, who looked equally troubled by the hat this was over.

  _____________________________

  AN: Please don't kill me. I have said it from the start that Troy would date multiple girls before settling down with the one. I needed him to be heartbroken for the part of the story, which would start with a small time skip. The chapter won't be sad and will be heavy on moving the plot forward. I'm not saying that Emma is out of the picture pletely, but for now she is. Maybe years ter they may recile, but not in near future.