"So tell me about the hero," the Majordomo commanded. "What have you learned about him so far?"
"...?"
I blinked at my manager in confusion, and he sighed at my apparent ck of comprehension.
"Information." He repeated impatiently. "What are his strengths and weaknesses? Likes and dislikes? How would you describe his personality? What gets him going? And most importantly, is there anything we can use as leverage?"
The realization slowly dawned on me.
The Majordomo wanted to use me as a spy!
"...I'm not sure if I should..."
"—This is a direct order. We have merely you lent to the the Otherworlders, and as such I am still your direct employer. Your allegiance and legal responsibilities remain with the Kingdom of Galuterica, and as such are you our maid. I sincerely hope you haven't gotten confused about your loyalties now, Hanamarie."
I hesitated.
Legally, this was a very troubling spot.
Maids and servants were forbidden from leaking information and secrets about their liege, and in fact doing so was a capital crime punishable by death. There were no protections for whistleblowers in Galuterica, and the servant was always executed regardless if they were right or wrong. To illustrate this using a hypothetical example, suppose you worked for the governor and he embezzled a million gold coins in tax revenue. If you reported this to the authorities, the governor would be stripped of his rank and position, but you would also be sent to the guillotine for disloyalty to your leige. It was terribly unfair, but this was simply just the way that the Kingdom of Galuterica always worked.
The aristocrats essentially treated the peasants on their nd like property — or chess pieces.
While it wasn't technically "serfdom" by definition, it was extremely close to it.
If a noble asked you to do something, there was no way you could refuse.
Meanwhile, I couldn't afford to hesitate in front of the Majordomo.
+ + +
"Of course, sir." I bowed immediately. "This maid apologizes for her total incompetence and misunderstanding."
The obvious answer to this troubling riddle was to comply with the Majordomo's request in the most literal and meaningless way possible. My manager could get all the information he desired, but it did not need to be concise, accurate, or summarized. The appearance of an attentive maid who took notes on all the minor details was far more important than the actual reality.
My eyes gzed over, and I transformed into a obedient robot reciting a wall of text from memory.
I started to spew random facts in a giant run-on sentence:
"This morning, the Esteemed Guest awoke at 5:34 AM. He was sleeping on the right side of the bed in the right teral decubitus position, incidentally he did not choose to wear the pajamas that we provided him st night for bed and instead wore the shirt that he originally arrived in. His pants were crumpled in a random pile on the floor as well as his socks, however his shoes were neatly arranged by the door as it appears that he took great care not to track any dirt inside of the room. His used clothes were heavily wrinkled, as though he had been wearing the same pair for a very long time, but strangely there was no sweaty body odor that one would expect from used clothes which I assume is a byproduct of being summoned from the divine Heavens. I would describe the odor as a somewhat airy scent like the morning dew in the mountains. The same can be said of his hair and grooming, which was neither oily nor greasy, and his nearly-invisible facial hair was trimmed to a degree that is impossible to achieve with a razor of the ordinary world. In terms of the Esteemed Guests's preferred pillow configuration, he appears to prefer two pillows and the extraneous pillows on the left side of the bed were untouched after his overnight slumber. As a matter of note, there were small drool stains on the..."
—The Majordomo cut me off with a look of impatience.
"Yes... Yes..." He waved his hands with disinterest. "I understand you are a very observant and attentive, but the Kingdom of Galuterica is not interested in that kind of information."
"...Really? ...Is that so...?" I feigned ignorance. "I deeply apologize for my incompetence... Do you perhaps wish to know what he ate for dinner then? Or perhaps his fashion preferences this morning while getting dressed?"
"No. None of that. I just want to know if the hero did anything suspicious."
"Suspicious? What kind of suspicious?"
"Unusual. Atypical. Anything that caught your attention as extraordinary."
"Well... all of the Heroes summoned from another world seem rather strange and atypical to me..." I remarked.
The Majordomo furrowed his brow.
"I want to know anything unusual other than obvious details that can attributed to fact that your guest is an Otherworlder."
I tilted my head my head in feigned confusion.
"...I guess there's nothing suspicious and unusual then?" I said. "I would suppose he's probably an ordinary Otherworlder, although Otherworlders aren't particurly ordinary to begin with? What does it mean to be a typical atypical person? Isn't that a contradiction?"
+ + +
"Forget it, you incompetent wench."
The Majordomo shook his head angrily, muttering in complete exasperation underneath his breath. "I can't believe it. And to think that I actually thought you were one of the better commoners among the staff..."
I cast my eyes towards the ground while the pit in my stomach sank.
Did I push the line too far? I couldn't help but wonder if I going to get fired today. The Majordomo very rarely lost his temper, and I could tell from Hana's memories that there was no way that this was going to turn out well. In the best case scenario, I would be demoted and reprimanded, but there was also a reasonably high chance I would be dismissed entirely.
"Where is your guest?" The Majordomo asked with a trace of annoyance. "Why aren't you with him right now?"
I fiddled with my fingers nervously as cold sweat appeared on my back.
There really wasn't any way around this, was there? If he knew that I ran away from Kang Jiesu, I would definitely be fired from my job. An eborate lie was out of the question, since there were multiple witnesses who saw us in the hallway this morning. The only feasible option was damage control and pusible deniability, but I wasn't confident that the Majordomo would buy half-hearted excuses.
Still, for the sake of my job security, I didn't have any other choice but to push the bme.
I spoke slowly but decisively.
"He became enamored with Miss Nelle, Miss Sienna, and Miss Aisha, so he ran off with them after ying eyes on them in the hallway."
"Enamored?"
"Yes. It seems like he is attracted to their type."
"A womanizer? With a preference for rge-breasted women?" The Majordomo remarked while stroking his chin.
A light of intrigue now glimmered in the head butler's greedy eyes. It was completely the wrong idea, but the Majordomo was clearly scheming something unethical, and this kind of revetion seemed to to satisfy his thirst for political secrets. Regrettably, Kang Jiesu's sparkly reputation was probably going to suffer for this and it might be troublesome for him in the future, but I felt absolutely zero remorse about piling a mountain of horseshit for my stupid ex-childhood friend to deal with.
"This information is actually somewhat helpful," he admitted. "So you're not a completely useless maid after all."
"Eh? Really? You wanted to know gossip like that?" I feigned complete innocence about my harmless little lie.
"Precisely. I want you to pay close attention to the hero's desires and preferences. Since you may prove useful for monitoring the Otherworlder of the Emerald Room, my next instructions are to..." The Majordomo paused abruptly, his gaze drifting downwards toward my completely unimpressive chest.
A fsh of realization, then pity, appeared in his eyes.
"Oh, so he wasn't interested in touching you at all," he muttered aloud.
...
......
..........
"Mine are too small for him," I responded solemnly.
—What the hell am I even saying??
?