The great cruiser which hung in the black sky opened fire on us. Blinding lasers were directed downward at the engine compartments and shield emitters disabling them before the Xurak could raise defenses. I saw large bursts of light in the distance as other Xurak ships tried to translate in, being caught by the Void Aegis. Normally such devices needed the power of a star to activate, but outside was a human vessel. Indeed, both the newcomer and the Xurak ship were technically human vessels, and I found myself in the rarest position to witness a conflict between the former masters of the universe.

  Both ships, which wielded technology so powerful that it was considered magic, turned on each other. Strange turrets swiveled on the Xurak ship and black holes opened up on the sides of the gaunt human vessel. Caught by gravimetric screens, the dark singularities were rent apart and bloomed into eerie explosions of abstracted matter.

  A huge cannon pointed towards us. I didn’t have time to blink as three chromium shells were accelerated to near light speed. Two disappeared into clouds of black smoke, protecting the Xurak ship. The third stopped just above our heads, held in place by some invisible force. The metal round, bigger than a shuttlecraft, struck something in slow motion. I saw a sea of fire well up above the palace, spreading wide and engulfing the barrier in orange flame. Whatever held the deadly inferno back seemed to shudder, and then the fire vanished.

  The two vessels pounded each other with the weapons of ancient wars, depleting their limited reserves for the last time. The Xurak fired waves of missile drones, equipped with antimatter charges. But these were no ordinary explosives, being guided by hyper-intelligent AI that could avoid the tightest of point defense grids. I saw their yellow lights race toward the broken ship above, only to be caught by interstitial shields. These subspace ripples vaporized all the drones down to the molecule, their digital pilots silently screaming in rage.

  I saw a great pulse of white light coalesce around the new ship. Gaining energy, it burst forward enveloping and breaking against the Xurak ship. I don’t think there were any names for this weapon in galactic basic. It was experimental and deployed only at the end of the Fifth Aberrant War. The only phrases to properly describe what this weapon did were human, and those were forgotten.

  I saw cracks appear in the invisible barrier above, the hull frayed and disintegrated at the edges. Reality around me unwound, and for a brief second, I saw a new void open up. It was a great expanse of white space, a new prison, to last beyond the end of time. So that, even in that exotic future where the black holes flickered out one-by-one, humanity’s sin would be erased.

  The Xurak ship trembled, and suddenly we were back.

  But even as these weapons thundered uselessly on each other, the old ships were too tired to fight like they once did. A few of the Xurak drones slipped by human vessels’ defenses, engulfing the skeletal decks in explosions and rupturing the blown apart ship further. Meanwhile, lasers carved into the Xurak ship, burrowing further and further each time.

  Slowly but surely, the weary juggernauts beat each other to a pulp, and I became convinced that the invisible barrier overhead would finally give, and I would welcome the empty vacuum. The Queen was busy on the throne, commanding the battle. But even through the bolometric screens, I could see visible fear in her face. She was losing, and it was only a matter of time before this ship was blown apart.

  I didn’t know who or what was attacking us, but I was grateful that this nightmare was coming to end. Hugging a nearby wall, I sat down as the heavenly lights flowered overhead. I was glad someone would get their revenge on the Xurak, and I was glad that I would no longer suffer. And as reality crumbled overhead, I was all the more glad that the Queen’s future would not come to pass.

  But as system’s failed across the Xurak vessel, as defense and weapon systems slowly shut down, so too did the great plumes of destruction. They stopped, suddenly. It was as if the object of the enemy wasn’t our destruction, at least not without a face-to-face.

  Time and space contracted in that dark palace, and the thing in Carapace Suit took its first steps on the Xurak vessel, brandishing an ignited zero-sword.

  …

  I didn’t feel relief, seeing Amon Russ again. I didn’t know how much of the man was even left. There was no humanity in his prickling red eyes. But I suppose, there was little humanity in my crimson irises either. I huddled away, withdrawing into the darkness, not wanting him to see me again—not like this. He later told me he felt the same.

  The thing in the Carapace Suit glanced at my direction, surprised. Amon didn’t expect to find me again. In fact, he had counted on my death, simply targeting the ship that had taken me—had taken the tracker put in my arm. I am sure the Xurak doctor had noticed it, but he had not bothered removing it yet. After all, there was no one with a ship advanced enough to find such a small signal in the howling noise of dark space—let alone contest the Xurak supremacy.

  But there was no time to contemplate these arrogant mistakes as the Queen stood from her throne, staring down her enemy, staring at the zero-sword, which could sentence her to the outer darkness until the end of time.

  The thing in the Carapace Suit took a step forward, and the Xurak Queen shouted. “Wait!”

  Amon didn’t listen, but before he could cross the distance, the Xurak Queen pointed to me and uttered a command. I cannot say what it was because I did not hear it. But the part of me they changed, the part they made like them, did. I was suddenly holding the scalpel again, pressed against my own neck.

  The Carapace Suit stopped.

  “Where did you get that ship!? Who gave it to you!?” The Xurak Queen asked, both seething with rage and terrified to the bone.

  The thing in the Carapace Suit remained silent, slowly raising the zero-sword and pointing the blade at the Queen’s neck.

  Her vexed expression was obvious even for me to see, but she suddenly calmed, nodding her head. “I see now. The armor you are wearing is old, so you have sacrificed even your ability to speak.” The Queen uttered another command, presumably telling me to kill myself if Amon made another move. She took a step down from the throne on the moistened steps. “If you kill me, he dies. But seeing as you will not leave without a price, we can come to an agreement. In exchange, I want peace.”

  The Carapace Suit tilted its head.

  The Xurak Queen could not help but shudder, even as she tried to remain confident in the face of death. “We have stolen your prize, and I regret that I am not in possession of most of the human embryos. But my allotment is two hundred. Take them all. And if you want more, you can settle with the other Queens.”

  I watched Amon Russ from the shadows, my heart falling in my chest. Something broke in me because it was the reasonable decision. That was what Amon Russ must’ve wanted after all, to save humanity. That was why he had fought so hard, sacrificed so much. And I was happy that he might leave having won for himself what he set out to do. And truth be told, as for the child in the corner, the one holding a scalpel to his own throat, I was no longer worth a thing.

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  It was the Mantza calculation after all. Two hundred were worth far more than one, and even as I told myself this, it crushed me. It is a very human thing, the most human in fact, to desire to be priceless. I would’ve called it vain—if only I knew the word. But as I think now, there is something priceless in a life, and although we can weigh the days and years with numbers, this too is only a human calculation.

  But as for the moment, as for the child, I felt no hope. After all, what was I to Amon Russ? Nothing, I expected, because I felt so little for him. And if I had been worth something, surely not now.

  I had learned the galaxy was cruel, and since it was cruel, what could only follow was another tragedy, another betrayal. That was the way of things. Everything good that comes into your life is used to punish you later. Holding my head low, I waited for Amon’s answer.

  The thing in the Carapace Suit was still for a long time. I did not know why, for the decision was obvious. And yet, as each second passed, the torment in my chest grew, and the Xurak Queen became more anxious.

  “Are you just going to stand there?” The Xurak Queen flashed a nervous grin. “What are you waiting for? You think we have tampered with the embryos? That we offer you a poisoned gift? I swear that we value those lives just as, no more, than you do.”

  I stared at Carapace Suit, still silent, still unmoving. I had no idea what was going through what was left of Amon’s head. And indeed, not one thought of the embryos had run across his mind. His hesitation was whether I should live.

  …

  In a way these things come full circle. And as the truths of the galaxy were just settling into my mind, the old man had six hundred years to learn the same lessons. I have hidden from you time and again the true nature of Amon Russ. I did this so you can appreciate the perspective of the boy who had been raised by insects, staring at the thing in the Carapace Suit. And now as I write on the other end of history, I can no longer delay the perspective of the other set of eyes, of the warrior who lost everything.

  It is true we lead cursed lives, and everything good that comes in them is used to break our hearts later. The Aberrant Orotek didn’t need to see the future to bind Amon to his fate. The words were written plain as day.

  Betrayal, death, and shame. Amon wasn’t fighting the Dalfaen or the Rhodeshi or the Xurak. He was fighting the universe, the laws of reality itself. His war, as was mine, was against the prophecies that needed no oracles, all leading us to the same terrible end.

  When Amon discovered the child on the Mantza world, it wasn’t an occasion of joy. Amon valued me—loved me—more than anything. And he was also counting the days the galaxy would tear me from him. Every moment on the Aphelion, he was measuring the time before this smallest hope became another ghost he would add to Cargo Bay 13.

  It is the most difficult question. How is a man supposed to fight against the galaxy—the universe? How is a man supposed to take up arms against the natural course of his life?

  Bringing me along on Laerad’s attempted assassination, leaving me to wander the Refinery on Cocytus, everything he did was to dangle me against his own fate, taunting the galaxy to take me away, just the same it had stolen everything else from Amon.

  It is easy to think this was cruelty on his part. But he was right—as were all the others, knowing some catastrophe was coming. Indeed, the galaxy snuck me away the one time he wasn’t looking, when the wound would hurt him the most. And as the father he was, he had to prepare me for when I was to be alone again.

  As the two of us stood in that palace, every word of Orotek coming true, the thing in the Carapace Suit had a decision to make, whether he should save me now and suffer more later, or cut the threads of fate and end the tragedy here.

  As I write now, I shall let this first secret—that I have taken great pains to hide from you—to find its proper place.

  What was the thing in the Carapace Suit, hidden behind those prickling red eyes? It was an all-consuming hate, a malice which knew no bounds. It was not for a second directed towards me, but to the chains that had dragged us to this hell, that were destined to pull us apart in the end. Amon brandished the zero-sword, and he rushed the Xurak Queen.

  …

  The Queen’s head parted from her shoulders, and I felt the cold slice of steel on my own neck. I felt no warmth, the blood was ice even as it parted from my veins. I stumbled weak, before the ground rushed up to meet me. I felt a soft impact, as I stared above at the black sky and the broken ship which floated above.

  Shimmers in the air flickered around me as dozens of masked Xurak appeared. Wearing laughing masks carved with the vengeance of Terra, the warrior caste had finally appeared. Perhaps they had arrived a second too late to save their Queen, perhaps the Queen had ordered them back, not wishing to antagonize Amon Russ. And perhaps, they had been waiting for Amon to kill the Queen, such the likes the Xurak are.

  Weapons pointed at the thing in the Carapace Suit and fired crimson beams of awful light. Amon was struck and the armor finally gave way, melting and exposing the skin of a dead thing.

  I saw the familiar face of the Xurak doctor appear over me. Working quickly, he caught my blood with chalice as it spilled out. And applying a clotting foam to my neck, the wound closed. A second later, my flesh was as it was. But before I could feel the relief of my life, the doctor rushed over to the portum carrying the chalice in his hands.

  Warriors fired around him, but the doctor paid them no attention, carrying the chalice as if it was the most sacred of relics.

  He began speaking words, chanting some strange song that even the Xurak part of me had trouble translating. I suddenly felt a horrible pit well up in my stomach, that should he finish whatever he was attempting to do, it could not be taken back. And although I was weak, I rose to my feet and stumbled to the Xurak doctor. My vision was swimming, and I threw my hands in front of myself, trying to steady my shaking legs.

  I saw one of the Xurak warriors go down, the Carapace Suit rising from the broken body and drawing the zero-sword from the warrior’s heart. Amon’s exposed skull reformed instantly, and a moment later, was concealed by a black helm. More of the warriors fired upon Amon, strikes which should’ve killed any mortal being. Amon cut them all down.

  Stumbling after the Xurak doctor, I only saw flashes of the fierce battle. I saw one of the warriors bisected, the zero-sword effortlessly cleaving through as it did all things. I saw one of the Xurak hitting a headshot, blowing a large hole through Amon’s skull. That did not deter the old man in the slightest, cutting through the warrior’s torso with a single strike.

  My gaze was mostly fixated on the doctor as I attempted to catch up with him. My fingers usefully tugged as the folds of his synth-leather clothing even as he approached the edge of the portum, holding a goblet of my blood out for what was below. I tried several times to halt him, to slow the Xurak down, but my grasp was weak and the doctor ignored me. Finally, I ran up and jumped for the chalice, hoping to pry the cup away from the doctor’s hands.

  He simply raised it higher, just out of my reach.

  I was so feeble that I could not try a second time. I called out to Amon in panic, hoping that he would stop what was about to take place.

  And indeed, the battlefield had fallen silent. The last of the Xurak warriors had fallen. The doctor only had a moment to process this as a black blur suddenly appeared next to him. The doctor gasped in terrible pain as a zero-sword cleaved his arm off and the chalice spilled at the portum’s edge, not a drop falling to below.

  But before I could relax in relief, the doctor had grabbed my arm as he fell into the portum. With his single remaining hand, he took me with him, and I was pulled over the edge. The Xurak doctor fell into the smoky film and disappeared through it, his remaining arm dragging me into that abyss. But with a strike of the zero-sword, the pale flesh disappeared through the layer, never to be seen again.

  I flailed as I tipped over the edge, and Amon could only grab me by my chain necklace as I swung above the boundary, terrified of even one finger falling through. I thrashed for a long moment, but before Amon could pull me up, I felt a dark hand reach from the layer and it grasped my own.

  I screamed in terror at the thing drawing me in. Its grip was impossible to shake off, and its icy temperature burned my skin. I was yelling incoherently, crying and yet holding back tears so that not one drop would fall through. The black hand was pulling me, slowly but surely. Amon swiped at it with a zero-sword, but this most powerful of weapons passed through harmlessly. Amon tried to activate his teleporter, using the last of his charges to get us away.

  It did nothing.

  My hand was centimeters away from the smoky layer. And soon, I would be consumed just like the doctor. I cried for my father to save me. Amon made a split-second decision. I heard another swipe of the zero-sword. There was no pain initially, my body too much in shock. I felt myself rise from the portum’s edge, my right arm now ending in a bloody stump.

  Amon pulled me away, my right hand falling through the portum, falling through into that most distant of places.

  Before I had a moment to think, the teleporter finally activated, and we were gone.