Chapter 36

  Royal Rumble

  Finale

  It's not all bad news though. With great care, radiation can be a medical tool, but it remains very dangerous. X-rays, for example, allow us to see inside the human body to diagnose bone fractures or other problems. Radioactive barium isotopes are regularly used to diagnose problems with the digestive system, and focused radiation bursts have been used to kill particularly troublesome parasites and tumors that have burrowed their way into places too dangerous to get at via normal surgical means.

  (To both Iluna and Alura): You have learned the skills [X-ray Vision] and [Laser Scalpel]. Use with care.

  And thus the stage shifts once again to the battle between Jade and the Sydonia Royal Army, lead by King Artorious Sydonia himself.

  Jade loads the coilgun with an iron rifle bullet, coated with an orihalcum shell.

  "Any last words, Your Travesty?"-Jade

  "DIE! BITCH! YOU PATHETIC WORM WHO SPREADS HER LEGS FOR A DAMN MARBLE!"-King Sydonia

  "(Sigh) So be it."-Jade

  With a deafening roar, Jade accelerates the slug to supersonic speeds and sends it flying right at King Sydonia. His royal shield-bearers, covered in head-to-toe plate-mail and massive tower-shields, all coated with orihalcum, step forward to block the shot. There's just one small problem. Orihalcum in this world has a very curious and special quality that makes it so formidable for defense.

  Orihalcum sheds excess energy by vibrating at great speeds and radiates a lot of heat. Guess what happens when a supersonic projectile of orhialcum hits a heavy and immovable shield made of the same stuff?

  Answer: The shield and armor can't vibrate nor shed enough heat to dissipate the blow fast enough and explodes from the force of impact, and the debris has enough kinetic energy that the other shield-bearers around still can't properly tank it, causing them to explode. With the explosion happening right in front of him, King Sydonia can't get out of the way and is blasted back, impaled in several places by orihalcum fragments. He survives only because his vitals are behind heavy robes with lots of padding and his crown has several defense enchantments that all get rapidly depleted and shatter.

  He gets impaled to the ground, bleeding, panting, and barely conscious. The army does not take it well.

  "The bitch laid hands on our king! FOR HIS MAJESTY!!!"

  "Oh. Great. Fanatics."-Jade.

  Blueprint acquired: Graphene.

  Jade proceeds to make a circular platform, 3 meters radius, made of graphene, the strongest known substance on earth, molecules of pure carbon held together in a hexagonal (bee-hive) shape, stronger than steel at a molecule's thickness, transparent, and excellent at conducting electricity, and begins rapidly lifting it into the sky to his maximum 3 meter limit radius to the ground, just out of reach, and if anyone is foolish enough to try and climb the platform, the edges are molecule thin, ergo, they're going to probably lose a few fingers, at best.

  The platform, now aloft, has bars on the outermost edge holding what soldiers foolishly got close enough trapped inside.

  Blueprint acquired: Specimen cage with shock fence. Warning: Creatures capable of borrowing may escape by digging downward. Recommend correcting this flaw ASAP.

  "Thanks for the advice, System, but this will do for now."-Jade

  "The vile bitch isn't taking us seriously! She's chatting with The System!! Show her we mean business, boys! PUMMELLING FIST OF THE GIANT!!" Cries one of the soldiers as he attempts to punch his way out of the cage, only to pull back a hand with all its bones completely shattered.

  "OWW!! WHAT IN THE DEPTHS OF THE ABYSS IS THIS?!!"

  "Did this country just summarily exile or execute anyone with a high IQ? Oh well, back to work."-Jade

  Jade proceeds to make a running leap off the platform, tethering an electric cable to the center and proceeds to make and drop another cage right atop the largest group of soldiers nearby.

  Then another, and another. Within an hour or two, Jade's got the entire army all neatly packaged in cages, the mages all dead.

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  The only two people not locked away are Jade and King Artorious himself.

  "I'm tired of asking, so last chance, Your Tragedy. If you surrender and order your fanatical army to stand down, I will spare their lives and give them at least a modicum of decency, which is far, far more than I can say you did for those who've been forced into slavery by 'criminals' in your territory, a practice to which you not only turned a blind eye, but actively exploited for slave labor. Refuse, and I will have no option but to give them a graphic death. What is your decision?"-Jade

  In the meantime, the soldiers continue to punch, kick, shake, and try to break the bars while shouting abuse at Jade, hurting themselves grievously in the process, their arms and armor long since having been stripped away.

  "Since the founding of our great and mighty nation, millennia ago, the Royal Army of Sydonia has never known the meaning of 'surrender,' and we're not about to start now! For every man you kill here today, an army will rise up and take his place!"-King Sydonia

  "YEAH! YOU TELL HER, YOUR MAJESTY! DON'T BOW TO THAT DUNGEON WORSHIPPING WITCH!!!"

  "YEAH!"

  "GOT THAT RIGHT!"

  "NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!"

  "I seriously don't believe this! And where is this army for every man going to come from, eh? Well. Whatever. You lot had your chance, many of them. Your kingdom really needs to get itself a dictionary, and expand your vocabulary. Because today, you're about to learn the word 'defeat' and it will be TOTAL!"-Jade

  Jade proceeds to jump, hopscotch, and backflip to the very center of the cage arrays and summons the original sword from which the [Lightning] blueprint came and stabs it into a pedestal designed precisely for it to fit.

  Lightning starts surging through all the cages, frying the occupants to a crisp,

  "KKKKYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

  After they're alll dead, Jade calmly and methodically walks along, making sure to leave not a cage nor a corpse behind.

  Blueprint acquired: Flash-fried fanatic. Extra tasty crispy. Just the way the gods like them. This is not just a bit of black comedy. The corpses are useful ingredients in making many constructs dedicated to eliminating and demoralizing enemies as well as hunting down the decidedly unrepentant of wrongdoing. That is all The System will say on the matter. It is at your discretion as to how you use them, but be warned, The System will be watching.

  "Thanks, System. I know you're trying to cheer me up, but... maybe later."-Jade.

  "You! YOU MONSTER! You slew tens of thousands who were incapable of resistance!!"-King Sydonia.

  "You ordered them to march to their deaths, ordered them to refuse every offer of surrender, of which I gave many, ordered them to continue attempting to resist and retaliate when they were captured and helpless to fight, and I'm the monster for giving them the death you and they demanded? That's a very, very interesting moral compass you have there, Your Fallacy!"-Jade

  "Will you stop making light of our royal title?! It's 'Your Majesty' or 'Your Highness' or 'Your Grace' not any of the blather you've been spouting, you cretin!"-King Sydonia

  "Now see, that would require you to actually act like a king who rules over a nation and cares for its subjects and not like an unruly man child who throws tantrums whenever he doesn't get his way or reality doesn't match his preconceived notions, and most importantly, treats his superiors in combat or anything else with respect, and you clearly haven't done that, Your Pettiness!"-Jade

  "What in the holy bowels of the nine hells are you blathering about?! The royal line has ruled in the way of the god Dlanod Pmurt for countless generations! There is no other effective way to rule!"-King Sydonia

  "Dlanod... Oh, you can't be serious! I know that man, and yes, he's a man, not a god, who has more ego than sense! He does, on rare occasion, make a good point, but he's really nothing more than an arrogant blowhard who let the money he earned from his many businesses go to his head, and refuses to admit he's ever wrong, fighting tooth and nail against just about anyone who tells him different. What a terrible example to follow as a ruler."-Jade

  "We have been more than patient, but for mocking His Most High Dlanod, you must die!!"-King Sydonia.

  The king glares at Jade, attempting to use the same skill he used earlier to pulp the head of the messenger who brought unwelcome news.

  (To Jade) You have received a powerful psychic attack. Due to having no psychic defenses, you have lost 1000 MP. If such an attack reduces your MP to zero or less, you will die.

  "Ow! Oh what the ever loving fuck was that?!!" Cries out Jade in alarm. "And if this is 'patience', I shudder to think what 'impulsiveness' means to you!"

  "What?! You're still alive? HOW?!! Even a dragon who took that attack head on had his skull fly apart!"-King Sydonia

  "Yeah. I don't intend to let you try again, you bloated, loudmouthed, asshole!"-Jade

  Before King Sydonia can try again, Jade conjures a cloud of fog and begins running towards him, presuming that King Sydonia needs to see his target to launch his psychic attack.

  This presumption proves correct.

  "Mages, blow that fog away!!"-King Sydonia

  Too late the king realizes there are no more mages to call upon.

  "Oh, to be surrounded by such useless incompetents..." begins to whine the king until he feels a blade at his throat from behind, the fog chilling his bones.

  "Now, I could just permanently blind you, Your Pettiness, but I know of an old story where a prince was betrayed by an usurper and pushed into anonymity."-Jade

  The king suddenly finds his head locked in an iron mask, eyes completely covered.

  "AGGHHH!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR MAJESTY!!!"-King Sydonia.

  "Now that that's settled, I'm taking you captive as a prisoner of war."-Jade