Chapter 12 - Faith

  “Ah, before I forget, Captain, prepare an entourage for me prior to setting out for Qalydon,” Emeria said as she left the audience chamber. She turned to leave the palace through a side gate leading to the gardens, guards in blue standing at the ready at the exit. “I will be making my way to Heira for a pilgrimage. I think it will do well for the people to see their queen as a humble servant of the Goddess. It shall be a reassurance in these trying times.” She paused to glance at a passing bird. “Yes. And I can also pray for the souls of my mother and uncle.”

  Azurus said nothing. This was it then. Emeria truly had no feelings left for him. She was sending him on a mission he did not approve of. Sending him away from her side, and further traveling from the capital without him as the head of her guard. Is this my torment for all my shortcomings two years ago?

  The queen held up her hand to stop him as she entered the gardens proper. Another pair of knights stood here with bright polished spears. They bowed their head to the passing monarch, then saluted Azurus who was left to watch Emeria's trailing form grow smaller as she slipped further into the company of blossoming trees and bushes. He turned from her at last to do as she bade. An out of breath Lord Rethram passed him by, entering the gardens with haste, a bottle with a label from Red Vine in his hands. Something useless to discuss with Emma no doubt. Something I'll likely not want to hear. The bottle was a bribe. Emeria was not one to fall for such a thing.

  Was she…?

  Two years ago, no, for certain she would not. But the Emeria at present? Azurus wasn't so sure. Rethram seemed intent on building his mercantile empire. His influence was already grand in the capital city, his only leash his alleged faith to Trillia. Hardly a leash when all that amounted to was donations to temples than an actual improvement of character.

  Azurus headed for the guard's residence to make preparations for both his departure and Emma's entourage. For her, he'd have left only the best and most capable knights. Unfortunately, he no longer was sure of who those were. Of the five hundred given him by the former queen to quell a rebellion, he'd seen none. Of Eildred Aegis' most trusted aides, there were none. It was hard to believe all of the kingdom's finest had fallen to riots in the capital.

  Most knights were new recruits plugged in by the gentry with connections. While their decorum was of high standard, their training had been subpar. The rigorous regiment for turning young boys into proper queen's guard no longer existed. It needed to exist, but Azurus felt pressed from all sides. Without a doubt these pampered noblemen would complain if put through those harsh trials, and those complaints would reach their wealthy fathers, whose complaints would reach Emeria, whose subsequent action may just have him removed from his position. The position that granted him leave of staying near to her.

  As Azurus crossed the stone courtyard, another thought occurred to him. Rethram was recently divorced. He was in his early forties. He couldn't be attempting to court the queen. Even if he were, she'd never accept. He's twice her age.

  Never accept… Azurus no longer knew Emeria. He no longer knew what she would and wouldn't accept. Such as bowing her head to pirates and leaving be the Impoverished District of the capital to rot and fester. He wondered what it would be like serving the queen after she married another man. What it'd be like to spend the nights in cold agony, knowing another held her in his arms, heard her breaths in his ears. The thought send needles through his chest.

  “Young man.”

  Azurus snapped out of his delirium and fixed his posture. It was only Odain. The Vicegerent wore his typical flowing robes of white with gold trims. His ashen hair was slicked back as normal. He carried a tome under his left arm. The Teachings of Trillia it was titled. “Sir,” Azurus said, lowering his head in respect.

  “You offer me too much respect, Sir Aegis.”

  “Not at all. A teacher, no matter of what subject, is always deserving of respect.”

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  Odain smiled, nodding. “Still, as captain of the guard, you should not lower your head before me in public like this. Unless of course it were in a temple to receive blessings.”

  Odain still sought conversion. Azurus, though, had no faith at all. At least not in anything so ephemeral as a spiritual being said to live in the skies. His was a tether bound to love, and the one holding his faith insisted on pressing a knife to that delicate string too often.

  “You look wilted,” Odain said. Odain who looked both thirty and sixty at the same time. Under those robes was the lean body of a once former warlord, and the strength and youthful vigor it must provide, but on the surface there remained but a remorseful scholar and priest seeking to right the world's wrongs.

  “Not as damaged as you during the meetings,” Azurus said. “I had hoped for some support.”

  “Azurus, our queen sends you to Qalydon regardless. I have a suspicion that she'd have sent you there anyhow even if reclamation of Kovar had been the decision we'd all come to.”

  “A task I'd have been proud to accept. Instead I'm to lower my head while a grieving widow watches and citizens of the kingdom are held captive.”

  Odain held out his tome, running a hand over its cover. He let out a long breath. “All to prevent the further creation of widows, orphans, and weeping mothers. And of course, the loss of my own student.”

  Azurus balled his fists. “You imply that I'd fail?”

  “No, young man. I imply that I would worry. Violence is not the way of the Goddess. But leaving captured people to the violent whims of others while not at all raising a sword ourselves… that is also not what Trillia teaches. I was forced to weigh lives against themselves. My silence is my cowardice. I could not choose, and so I let others choose for me. Forgive me.”

  Azurus turned away. His coat still felt stuffy. There was a slight discomfort in knowing they'd dampened from sweat. “I get that, Odain. I do. Hah… What did you need to tell me? Did you make any progress on our research?”

  The Vicegerent shook his head. “You simply seemed in need of conversation. It is well our queen has decided to make a pilgrimage. I shall set guidelines for her. Mayhap she comes to ponder on her decision at the council today and feels regret. Then, perhaps she will learn and grow and not be so hasty in deciding the fates of people.”

  “Maybe she already feels regret but is good at hiding it,” Azurus said.

  “Ah, our queen is quite good at that I fear. Hiding her emotions I mean. The loss of her dear mother and uncle must have come as a shock. One that forced on her delicate shoulders the burden of a kingdom. I've done what I can by way of giving advice, but she seems headstrong in most of her decisions.”

  Azurus frowned. “Decisions that for the most part hurt the peasant class, Odain.”

  “Yes. But the growing wealth of the aristocrats increases their donations to us, and we in turn spend for the people. I am trying in my own way. The last thing we would need is another collection of nobles gathering to plot a rebellion again.”

  Azurus could not disagree with that. But it all sat wrong. It wasn't as if Dahlia had allowed a rebellion to fester. She'd relented in the face of opposition from the court few enough times to grant them power, but not nearly as much as they now possessed. Granted too much, they might decide on rebellion anyhow. An issue that'd be eradicated if Emeria marries one from their faction. Flames. What if she is considering it?

  “Do you still insist on your soul binding research into Chronary?” Odain asked.

  Azurus could see a tinge of disappointment in the Vicegerent's eye. Together, they were researching the act of binding souls to increase the lifespan of people. It was not something Odain approved of. Life and death were a natural cycle to him. But he did not disapprove either. I need this, Azurus thought. He needed it to create his immortal army. One army, one body, one mind. An immortal force led by a man of morals.

  Led by me.

  “I do,” Azurus said.

  “I still insist on something more technical. Something like agricultural improvements the magic might bring.”

  Crops would feed people, but they would not rid the world of injustice. Technical research could wait. This took priority. Perhaps, if he one day conquered the world and lay it at Emeria's feet, if he one day relieved her of her burdens, she might again look at him the same way she once did two years ago. “I know you'd much prefer the pacifist's route, Odain, but I need this. Please.”

  The Vicegerent nodded. “You want to create a force that can survive to better protect the kingdom. I get it. Something that would not cause more loss of our own lives in the face of adversaries such as pirates. I will not deny you this. But know that Chronary is not an end all be all. Be wary of power, Azurus. I chose to share this knowledge with you for your morals. But power can corrupt even the best of us.”

  Azurus nodded. He swallowed. Only briefly did a question arise of his own intent. No, I would not fall to its seduction as others would. I would not abuse my power.

  Odain bowed his head. “If you'll excuse me, Captain. I've a sermon to deliver this afternoon.”

  Azurus bade him farewell. There was a stand in temple in the lower city while the one next to the palace was still under construction. Even the humble halls of that smaller temple saw no shortage of visitors. The people had faith in a higher power. Azurus, though, could only have trust in himself.

  Obligatory Map Repost (The compass error has not yet been fixed. I've contacted the artist and am awaiting a response)