Chapter 48 - Eksa's Dreams

  The pain hadn't fully subsided.

  Eksa massaged her arm, cringing at the sting of fresh red lines where Aaron's nails had dug. She couldn't forget that image of him grinning while suffocating her. She squeezed shut her eyes and ran her hand through her hair, pulling out loose strands.

  Set on her desk was a map of the entire Aegis Basin. One of the first she'd ever drawn. A map created for the benefit of Eurale. But instead, Eksa's talents had brought great suffering to the kingdom. What might King Agram think of her now? The girl he'd saved and shown such care for in the few days she'd spent as his possession. She found herself desiring the solitude of that small charting room again.

  Agram is wallowing in the guilt of his own actions. And his advisor is likely filling his ears with useless drivel and slander of my name. It was probable to expect a bounty for her capture, along with Dhorjun, Crow, and Aki.

  There was a knock against her mostly shut cabin door. It creaked open, revealing Aaron holding a coconut in his hand. Eksa flinched at the sight of him. Her breath caught for a split moment as images of the night before flashed in her mind. Aaron approached and she felt herself shrink in her chair. His every step seemed to echo like a midnight bell. The ache in her head exploded in magnitude. And then he stopped.

  Too close for comfort.

  Eksa squeezed her kneecaps to stop them from shaking. Did he see? If he had, he pretended to ignore it and placed the coconut on her table. “Thank you,” Eksa managed softly. She feared him. His very presence made her want to back into a corner like a timid mouse. But a part of her wanted to leap into him as well. Who else would hold her now like he had last night? Who else would comfort her but him?

  “I… last night—” he began.

  Eksa held up a hand. “I don't need an explanation,” she said hurriedly. “I know you were tired and hurt by something. That's your business. Not mine.” Except she did want to know. But she also wanted to be alone right now, away from him.

  Aaron nodded and left. Eksa felt a tide of relief wash over her. She rushed to the door and turned the latch to lock it. It clicked loud, making her swallow. He had to have heard that. She began chewing on her lip again, contemplating throwing open the door and calling for his return.

  The notion of his touch made her skin crawl.

  Eksa put her back to the door and slowly slid down until she was on her rear. She buried her face in her knees, wondering what to do. Aki had been right. Right about Eksa's fate. Only her abuse had come from the man she thought she loved.

  She crawled back to her chair and hauled herself into it. She then sipped from the coconut Aaron had left behind. I do love him.

  ***

  Aaron's every step felt encased in mud. He trudged up the stair leading above deck, black coat slung over a shoulder. He no longer felt worthy of the coat. How disappointed would those who had given him it be if they could see him now?

  He was met with a mid-morning sun at the top, its glare feeling particularly strong against his skin. His shadow was cast long, stretching to the ends of the ship, trying to pull free of the chains binding it to a sinful body.

  As if enough scorn hadn't yet been directed at him, gulls screeched their slurs from where he could not reach them. Joining them was Jackrin, sitting with back to the ship's main mast, cackling beneath his mask. Endlessly. His presence kept other crewmates at bay. They loitered upon the boardwalk, speaking their boasts of the past day's fight to those that had also been present.

  Aaron seated himself next to Jack. The mad jester did not stop laughing. His shirt had damp circles and his pointed chin held a swaying crystalline droplet like morning dew gathered at the vertex of a leaf. It fell and added another wet spot upon that white shirt.

  “He's been like this all morning,” Viper said voice from the mast's shadow.

  Aaron put a hand on Jackrin's leg. “What did you do?” he asked quietly.

  The jester laughed even harder. “Dead! Dead dead dead! I killed someone. And you know what's funny? I stabbed her in the heart afterward! Aha. Aha hah hah. Hah hah hah hah!”

  Aaron tucked in his knees, pressing his coat to his chest. He pinched the top of his nose. Jack. Poor Jack. He let out a pitying sigh. Then frowned. “Her?”

  The laughter grew even more maniacal. “Killed her in the dead of night! Almost drunk her body dry! Almost turned her to a wight! Plunged a knife into her heart! Lays she now sprawled out like art!”

  “Flames,” Aaron muttered. He knocked the back of his head against the wood behind him. He put his hand to Jackrin's head and pulled it down, letting it rest upon his shoulder. The jester did not stop laughing. Aaron's head began to throb, not from the unending high pitched sounds, but from the use of an Artifact. Jack was using his mask.

  “Do you see her? Do you see how beautiful she is? Ah, those lips, that shy smile, those curved hips and that warm skin.”

  “I see her,” Aaron lied, squeezing his hands shut to bear the growing headache.

  “She is beautiful,” said Viper. The Shadow Walker could likely see the image Jackrin had conjured.

  “Do you see her now?” the madman asked. “See how she lays, arms stretched out. See her pale, cold skin void of blood. See her dead thin lips and rolled back eyes, her head hanging from the edge of her bed. See the knife in her heart, left there and not to be pulled out by any man. No one is strong enough, like the legend of the blade in a stone!” He kicked his legs while laughing.

  “I see it,” said Viper.

  “It's a masterpiece isn't it? What I did. Isn't it a masterpiece?”

  Aaron's headaches began to fade. The illusions were dispelled. “Yes. You created a masterpiece. So don't lament, Jackrin Malkieri. Don't lament.”

  Jack removed his mask. His cheeks glistened with old tears and new. He put two thumbs in his mouth and stretched it from either side. “I don't weep,” he said. “I'm happy. See? I'm happy! I'm smiling!”

  “Yes,” Aaron said. “You're happy. As you should be. As you have every right to be.”

  Jack's smile turned into a frown. He rested his head back on Aaron's shoulder. Then continued to shed tears of joyous agony in somber silence.

  Gulls screeched. And the sun glared.

  ***

  Eksa sucked through her wooden straw till no sweet water remained. She slumped back in her chair, keeping the straw in her mouth and gnawing on its edges. The coconut tipped over from the force of her movements, rolling over her map before slipping off the edge of the table. It fell with a thud as heavy as a footfall.

  The black sheathed cutlass stood against her bedside. Eksa reached for it and pulled out the blade. A satisfying metallic ring resounded inside her ears. “Eksa von Raudsol,” she read from the engraving. Daughter of Mikael von Raudsol, the greatest Estraean explorer to exist!

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  I was to carry on father's legacy. To become the next great sailor, to have my name spread not just in one nation, but far across the world. Eksa of Estraea. A name for the history books!

  What had become of that dream, she wondered. One misstep led to another, and then another, and then many more. Up until she no longer could see her original path. Her first goal. One she still coveted. On the surface, restoring order to Kovar seemed aligned with what she wanted. But that had never been a necessity. Kovar had simply existed in the past. Eksa didn't want conflict. She didn't want the burden of a war placed upon her. Sailing was an art of liberty, of adventure and romance, not one of strife.

  Eksa pointed the sword before her, pretending to hold it before an invisible enemy. She sighed and let her arm fall to the table. What good was reaching her dreams if the path to was lain with thorns. It was alright before, when Aaron had been walking alongside her, clearing away dead prickly branches. But now? He'd stabbed her with one, and not by accident.

  The straw fell from Eksa's mouth. Or was it that I ran too close to him and ended up stabbing myself, blaming him for it? Her eyes fell upon the map again, seeking solace in its beautiful artwork. Her artwork. She stared long and hard at the spot marking the fourth kingdom of the Illeyan Alliance. Beneath it was written 'Eurale' in her beautiful handwriting. Her thoughts went back to the burning port. Then further back to the conversation she'd shared with King Agram and Captain Theodore. Eksa allowed herself to indulge in that childish crush she had for Lord Coraine. She felt a blush forming as she recalled her exact words from back then, at how hard she'd tried to impress him.

  Farther south to the west of Eurale, whirlpools are said to form spontaneously. No one's been there to confirm. I don't advise going. There are rumors of a multi headed serpent down there.

  Eksa giggled at the memory. Her eyes dragged along the coastline of Eurale to where the rumors were said to have stemmed from. Mere myth spread from a single fishing boat that'd strayed too far. Likely spoken at one tavern, quickly spreading to the next, and then the next, until half the city had heard of it. Until merchants and bards had carried it beyond the walls of Eurale and out to every corner of Illusterra. Until Eksa herself had heard of it, and dreamed and yearned to discover the truth. There were many myths about the waters outside the Basin. Uncharted territory where none dared explore. All because they had no need to and thus never bothered to.

  But that was precisely why Eksa wanted to. She sought to find what lay beyond the maps of Illusterra. To discover the world as it was known over four thousand years ago, during the First Calendar Age. To restore knowledge long lost and have her name —her family name attached to it.

  Eksa had heard all manner of strange things in bars. Mere passing tales of traveling minstrels or illustrated in children's books were all common place talk of the Euralite fishermen. There'd been talk of the sailor's graveyard —the Arachan Isles and the turbulent waters that surrounded it. Talk of riches or horrors dwelling on the isles, depending on which person one spoke to. Frequent whispers also of a shadow lurking in the depths far south of the coastline. Some claimed it was spawn of the devious sea goddess Katri. Eksa had heard that name before from the mouth of her father's sailors. A prayer to Katri for fortune out on sea, or so they would say.

  And of course, there was the truth of a claim made and uttered for centuries. The ones that claimed sailing far enough west would take you to the east. How desperately Eksa wanted to attempt such a voyage. She was certain the world ended somewhere, and that she'd end up falling off the edge of some infinite waterfall, but just once she wanted to try sailing forever to the edge of the map.

  Rumors, though, were half the joy of being an explorer. Endless rumors of treasures and Artifacts were what had kept Estraean explorers braving icy waters to reach the ruined nation of Vyetrim, where Heartless were said to still roam. That, after all, was the romance of a sailor. That was the kind of renown Eksa desired. Or if not that, then at least have one bloody good story to tell upon her return that even the most adept of bards would eagerly write down.

  She stared long and hard at the pen strokes marking the southern coastline. The closest location to Kovar. This will be my first real venture into the unknown. Eksa breathed deep and snapped to her feet, flinching at the pain below her waistline. “Watch over me, father. Watch as your little girl breathes fire into the Raudsol name as you'd done before her.”

  Eksa strapped on her weapon belt and then put on her oversized coat. Above deck she found Aaron sitting with his back to the mast, Jackrin's head on his shoulder, sleeping. Her other crewmembers aided in repair work being done to her other ships. The Scarlet Reaver could use some touch-ups herself. Eksa preferred not to use her while she were wounded. Her gaze wandered to the single undamaged galley in her fleet. That one will do for now. She wouldn't take the slave rowers though. They could rest after what they'd been through the day before.

  Eksa hesitantly approached Aaron. His black coat was bundled up in his lap. She made sure to stand a good five feet away from him. She found herself looking anywhere but into his eyes. It took her multiple deep breaths to find the courage to stand before him. “Gather the crew,” she at last ordered. “Not the rogues. Only my original seventeen deckhands. We're setting sail.”

  “Um,” Aaron said, gesturing to Jack.

  Eksa knelt down and helped him slowly lay Jack on his side. She'd done it out of necessity, suddenly realizing how close it brought her to Aaron. Their hands touched and she jerked her arm away. He seemed deeply hurt by that. “Er, that's not—”

  “It's alright,” Aaron said. He lay Jackrin's head down slowly before placing the black coat over him like a blanket. “I'll keep my distance.”

  Eksa looked away in guilt. She rose to her feet and dusted off the ends of her coat. She felt Aaron's gaze upon her, waiting, as if wanting her to rebuke his decision. She wanted to, but also couldn't. He began leaving to carry out her orders. “Aaron!” she called, reaching out. Her arms snapped back to her side before he'd turned.

  “Yes?”

  “Can you—” Can you hug me? She imagined it. Imagined his touch, longed for it, and felt herself screaming in fear of it as well. “Can you bring me another coconut?” she finally said, still refusing to meet his eyes.

  “Of course.”

  And then he was gone. Barely a few dozen meters away, but gone far enough for her heart to slow and her lungs to relax. She felt an unbecoming chill near her calves, telling her that Viper was there.

  “Did the two of you have an argument?” the Shadow Walker asked.

  “You could say that,” Eksa said.

  “Mm. Where are we headed?”

  Eksa was relieved Viper didn't question her further on the topic of Aaron. She faced the waters, gazing toward her destination. An empty horizon there was, and a long journey ahead. A path to tread on the wings of liberty —the sails of a ship. For the first time ever, she would set forth of her own free will, going where it was she desired and not where she'd been ordered. Eksa willed forth threads of excitement. Perhaps it would be enough to mend the rift between her and Aaron. To heal whatever thorn of agony she felt digging in her chest when near him. Because without him, she was but a hollow doll of porcelain, fragile and prone to breaking at the mellowest wind at night. “We're going exploring far to the south,” she told Viper. “On an adventure worth telling I hope.”

  ***

  “She's gone… where now?” Crow demanded.

  “I'm not sure, sir,” the informant muttered. “Just that she's left with one of them galleys. Barely took twenty with her and sailed south. I swear it.”

  Aki crossed her arms. The informant was named Tyles. One of Hawthorne plants on Eksa's ship. His shabby disposition hardly rendered him trustworthy, but these were the people Hawthorne preferred. These he could manipulate or buy out with little effort.

  “Well now,” Crow said, resting both arms on the table. His voice carried a harsh edge. He'd become wrath incarnate since losing his eye and breaking a knee, screaming at every small irritation and beating every whore he took in the nights. “Gone out on a galley without the slave rowers, and only a motley group of sailors. Prepare the Breaker to go after her. I want a hundred slaves on the oars, and a hundred fighters on deck. This time she sinks for certain.”

  Aki began chewing on her inner cheek. “She's just come back from laying waste to Theodore's fleet. I don—”

  “I damn well know what she's just accomplished!” Crow howled. “You… you, Aki, will do the honors. You will sink her.”

  “Me…?” she carefully asked, arching a brow.

  “Yes, you. You're the only one I can trust from among these insufferable dregs. She's gone and taken a galley but hasn't brought the rowers. We will have the advantage in both speed and maneuverability. Take the breaker and ram into her side. Tear her galley in half and leave her at sea to rot. You can do that, can't you, dearest Aki?”

  She slowly nodded, unfolding her arms and saluting, offering Hawthorne a symbolic sense power than doing it out of respect. Ram into Eksa and leave her to the sea's mercy. It would be a better fate than what awaited her on this island. Aki closed her fists. The girl deserves as much after scorning me. After throwing me off her boat to live among these insatiable hounds.

  “Do this for me and I'll reward you proper like I haven't before,” Crow said, showing that twisted grin of his that he only ever showed to her. The hunger in his eyes was unrelenting.

  Aki felt bare before that gaze and she almost enjoyed it. But the nightmares and questions had not stopped since leaving Eksa's boat. She could drown in drink and lust all she wanted, but it no longer aided in dulling the pain.

  Something had changed since her time with the girl.

  “As you wish,” Aki said, bowing before leaving the tavern. She paused just outside the door. Insatiable hounds, she thought again. And I'm living among them, doing as they tell me, feasting on rot just as they do. Why? Why do I do this?

  She marched toward the docks, barking orders to gather men for the hunt. I do it because I have no choice.